CHAPTER 20
Ainsleigh
“M y parents have invited all of us to dinner tonight. I’ve already told Dylan and Aspen,” I told Gentry as I pulled up in front of the barn.
“Your dad and brothers mentioned it earlier,” he told me as he pulled me in for a hug. His skin had darkened so much since I arrived. Working long hours in the sun would do that to anyone, and I had to say tan looked so sexy on him.
“I wanna tell them tonight,” I confessed. I couldn’t take keeping the secret any longer. I’d waited a week after Loretta left. Seven days was all it took for me to give in. My next appointment was in a few days. If something bad happened at least they’d all be there to help us through the loss.
Gentry laughed as he hugged me tighter.
“I knew you wouldn’t make it the full amount of time. I’m shocked you waited this long,” he told me as he pulled back and placed a kiss on my lips.
“Let’s go upstairs in the barn so I can wash up before dinner. I’m a sweaty mess.”
“I like you being a sweaty mess, though,” I replied as I followed him through the barn door and up the familiar flight of stairs to his old room.
“Good to know,” he replied as he pulled of his white t-shirt and tossed it my way.
As he showered I sat on the bed and lifted my shirt to look down at my stomach. There wasn’t a difference there yet, but I knew there soon would be.
Lifting my hand, I traced my fingertips over my flat stomach and imagined it growing bigger with time. I loved being pregnant before. Until everything changed.
I shivered at the memory as Gentry came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and another in his hand as he ran it over his head to dry his hair.
I tried to quickly replace my shirt, but he saw me.
“What’cha doing?” he asked as he walked over and knelt in front of me.
“Just thinking about how I’m going to look pregnant again. I’ll probably get more stretchmarks and have a worst scar than before from another cesarean.”
He lifted my shirt and whispered something I couldn’t quite hear before he placed a kiss right above my navel. He then began to trace his fingers over the now faint stretchmarks that I’d gotten while carrying Arabella.
“These marks are beautiful. They remind me of the life we created together. This scar,” he said as he pulled down the top of my shorts to reveal where it was on my lower stomach.
After he placed another kiss over the scar, he continued. “This scar reminds me of the birth of our daughter. However traumatic, it reminds me that she did exist. I don’t see ugliness when I look at them. I see the love we shared as we created our perfect angel. The love we shared as we created another. I can’t wait to see your stomach grow and feel our child move within.”
Damn this man and his words. The tears fell before I could stop them.
I needed to get a grip on these hormones before they became the death of me.
“Don’t cry. I didn’t say any of that to upset you,” he said as he wiped the tears away.
“They’re happy tears. You always know what to say and what I need to hear.”
“I just speak the truth.”
He threw on a pair of loose fitting jeans and a Courtright Ranch t-shirt after he’d kissed me on my forehead and told me he loved me. We put his clothes from the day in a plastic bag and carried them to his truck before we headed to the backdoor of the house.
“You sure you want to tell them? We can always wait a few more weeks.”
“I’m sure,” were the only words I spoke as I reached for his hand.
We walked into the house to a table filled with people and the dinner my mother prepared.
Garlic bread and spaghetti.
Everything should’ve smelled delicious. But the smell of garlic made my stomach roll.
I rushed past Gentry with my hand covering my mouth and ran down the hall, emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet. I’d barely made it there.
Resting my head on the seat, I took a moment to collect myself. Familiar hands pulled my long blonde hair off my neck and placed a cool wash cloth on my neck.
“You okay?”
“Yeah. Garlic doesn’t smell so good today. Last week I was fine with the chicken parm. Today, not so much.”
He helped me stand, and I rinsed my mouth out with some mouthwash.
“You okay to go in there?” Gentry asked, his expression full of concern as I looked at him in the mirror above the sink.
“I think so. We’ll see,” I replied as I turned around to walk out the door.
On shaky legs, I walked into the room hoping that no one looked at me funny.
They were all talking about the upcoming weekend when we entered. Dylan and Aspen fit right in, in my absence. They loved my family as much as my family loved them. I had no doubt in my mind this would happen, though. Everyone seated at the hand-carved wooden table was loveable in their own way. Even Brooks.
“What’s wrong with you, squirt? You look a little pale,” Holden asked from across the table as Gentry and I sat down.
“I’m okay. My stomach’s been a little upset today. I thought the worst was over. Apparently not,” I replied. It wasn’t a complete lie. I wanted to enjoy dinner first before I laid out the news for everyone.
“How far along are you, Ainsleigh?” my father asked from his spot at the head of the table.
“What?” I asked, barely getting the words out.
“I’ve paid more attention than you realize. The past few weeks, I’ve noticed a change in you. The crackers you always have on hand. The trips to the bathroom after you eat some mornings. The tiredness in your eyes when the day is almost over. I’m a man, but I’m not blind,” he spoke as he placed his fork down on the table.
“Um… I wanted to wait until after dinner,” I said as I grabbed Gentry’s hand.
“We’re seven weeks along,” Gentry replied for me. I couldn’t seem to develop the words. I thought I was prepared to reveal the news. But when my father asked the question, everything disappeared from my mind.
“When are you due?” my mother asked, masking her smile. I could tell they were all worried as I took in each of their faces as they processed the news.
“Valentine’s Day,” I whispered.
“Are you okay? I can’t take it again if you’re not going to be okay this time,” Holden said as he pushed back his chair and stood. His voice was laced with a mixture of anger and fear.
“We’re both fine. I’ve been to the doctor, and everything looks great. We’ll get an ultrasound next week. I spoke with the doctor about my concerns, and she feels there’s nothing to worry about right now,” I said as I looked over at my big brother’s eyes. We were always close growing up, and I knew he was remembering the day he thought he’d lost us both.
He walked the few steps it took to come to my side and pulled me up from the chair.
“I can’t lose you, sis. I just can’t,” he said as he pulled me in for a hug.
“You’re not going to lose me. I know you’re scared. I’m scared too, but this baby is a blessing. We’re both going to be fine. I promise,” I said, almost believing the words I spoke. I still feared the worst would happen, just not as much as I had a few weeks ago when we were told the news.
“You better keep that promise to me,” he said as he pulled back from the hug. It felt good to feel as close to him as we were before. I’d have to make sure we spent more time together. Just like we used to.
“I want her to stop working, Dad. She needs to take care of herself,” Holden said as he took his seat.
“Now just wait a minute. Pregnant women work all the time. I’m no different. I’m following doctor’s orders. I’m taking it easy and not stressing myself out. I’m perfectly capable to run that office,” I almost shouted. They weren’t taking this position from me. I wouldn’t allow it.
“I hate to say it, Holden, but Ainsleigh’s right. She doesn’t need to quit working. She’ll be fine in the office. Is this why you requested to take this position?” my father asked.
Gentry placed a small amount of spaghetti on my plate, but I wasn’t feeling it. My mother noticed I wasn’t eating and stood after she wiped her mouth with a napkin.
“You don’t have to make me anything special, Mom. I’ll get something when we get home.”
“Nonsense. Soup sound okay? Chicken noodle?”
That did sound amazing. It was hot outside, but I didn’t care.
“Sure. Thank you, Daddy, for standing up for me. And yes, it is. I’d just found out and knew I wouldn’t be able to handle the tours for very long. It was a win-win situation. For the ranch and for me.”
Brooks and Leo remained silent as they ate their food. I was surprised that the mouthier ones of the bunch had nothing to say.
“Well, I’m happy about the news. A baby is just what this family needs,” my mom said as she brought over a bowl of soup and a package of crackers.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Anytime, dear,” she replied with a wink.
We finished eating and discussed anything but the news I’d just shared. I had a feeling my brothers and my father were more scared than anything. None of them said congratulations, and I knew why.
They were just as scared as I was before I let the news sink in. Hopefully they would come around. I needed all the positive vibes they were able to give to get through the next eight months.