CHAPTER 7
Ainsleigh
T he sound of the alarm clock beeping from my phone roused me from the dream I didn’t want to wake up from. We were happy. So very happy. And so was she. My heart hurt as I opened my eyes and reached for the device the sound was still coming from.
Gentry groaned from behind me as he pulled me closer to him. My hand was just out of reach to stop the clock.
“We’ve gotta get up. There’s no way I’m going to be late. My daddy would never let me live it down,” I told him as I moved out of his grasp.
“He’ll live. I’m too comfy,” he replied with a sleepy voice, pulling me back toward him just as I grabbed the phone and turned the alarm off.
“You’re not getting my ass in trouble. Plus, last night shouldn’t have happened. I shouldn’t have stayed here,” I said as I tried and failed to move away from him.
He pushed me to my back and leaned over top of me. His hair was sexy in a bedhead kind of way. Whiskers lined his cheeks. His eyes still had a sleepy glow to them.
My breath came harder as he leaned his head down. His lips were so close to mine. I could feel his breath rush across my face.
“Nothing between us has ever been a mistake. One day you’ll realize that. That’s including last night. Nothing happened for us to even regret. Me being there for you is never going to stop. You’ll do yourself a favor if you remember that,” he said before he kissed the tip of my nose and pushed himself up and off the bed.
That man was going to be the death of me.
I got up from the bed and put my slippers on, bound and determined to sneak into the house and get ready without anyone noticing that I’d slept out here. My family would make conclusions that wouldn’t be good for either of us. I couldn’t give Gentry hope where there was nothing left to hope for. I just had to figure out a way to stop him.
Somehow, I managed to succeed in making it up to my room without seeing either of my parents. Opening my closet door, I pulled out a pair of jeans, tank top, flannel shirt, and my cowgirl boots. I had a feeling my father wouldn’t relent on giving me the easy way out today, and I’d need everything I’d grabbed.
I made sure to cover the ink that now graced my skin. I’d paid a pretty penny for the best tattoo concealer, and I made sure to use it every day. Not even Dylan and Aspen had seen them. After they were covered, I got dressed; thankfully everything still fit. I hadn’t touched anything in there since long before I left.
Putting my hair in a ponytail, I made sure I grabbed an old baseball cap that hung on the side of my vanity before I left the room and headed to the kitchen to make a much-needed cup of coffee.
The aroma of my mother’s coffee hit my senses midway down the stairs. She knew us all so well.
I walked into the kitchen to find her making each one of us a cup. There was even a cup for Gentry. I had to get her by herself and ask some questions. People around here needed to give me answers.
“You still take yours with lots of sugar and a little coffee, right?” my mother asked without even looking to see who it was. How did she always do that?
“You remember,” I said as I walked up beside her and leaned against the counter. She’d placed the steaming hot cup of java in a thermos in my hand as she turned to face me.
“A mother never forgets. Remember that.” She winked at me as she turned back to continue making everyone else’s coffee.
“I won’t.”
“How did the bed in the barn sleep?”
Wait. What?
“What do you mean?” I tried to feign ignorance, but I knew better. I still had to try though.
“I heard you leave your room last night and go outside. I figured you’d gone to the one place we always knew where to find you. I’m not stupid or blind, Ainsleigh. I knew coming home would be hard on you. I even knew how hard it would be for you to go into your old room. And even though I knew that, I’m still stupidly happy that you’re home where you belong.”
“I slept perfectly fine. Thanks for removing that picture and putting another in its place. It would’ve been a lot harder if I had to see it there.”
She stopped in her tracks and turned toward me.
“I didn’t remove it. Gentry did. The second I told him you were coming back, he went up to your room and took away all the reminders so you didn’t have to see them. I don’t know where he put them, but he packed them away until you were ready to face them.”
Why did he have to still be so sweet and thoughtful?
It would’ve been easier to just thank my mother. Then I wouldn’t have to thank him. Because that would lead to a conversation that I wasn’t ready to have.
“So you slept well, huh?”
She knew he was out there.
Damnit.
What I didn’t want to happen. The smile on her face was the perfect indication of the assumptions she’d already made.
“Yes, I did. And all that happened was sleeping. Thanks for the heads up by the way. Why didn’t anyone tell me he was still here? And sleeping in my special place?”
“That’s his story to tell. And you need to let him tell it. Someday soon you’re going to have to hear him out whether you’re ready to or not.”
Why did mothers have that intuition that all children hated them for having?
She was right, but that wouldn’t stop me from being stubborn until I couldn’t anymore.
My father came into the room so I didn’t have to reply. But she looked at me knowingly before she turned around to give him his thermos of coffee.
“Good morning, my beautiful girls. It’s so nice to wake up and see your beautiful faces.”
“Good morning, Daddy,” I said as I walked over and gave him a hug.
“That daddy stuff isn’t getting you out of today. But I’m glad to see that you’re up early and ready for a challenge.”
Ugh. Really? I thought batting my eyelashes at him would work. Guess not.
“But, Daddy.” I pouted like a toddler, poking my lip out to give the full affect.
“Not gonna work, baby girl. You’re mucking the stalls this morning. Now let’s get to work,” he said with a laugh as he patted me on the back and walked toward the door.
Just as he opened the door, Gentry and my brothers graced us with their presence.
They wore jeans and flannels with their boots.
I didn’t pay attention to my brothers much though.
It was Gentry who my eyes couldn’t move from.
Why did he have to make flannel look so damn sexy?
His were sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his black cowboy hat on. What I noticed most was the smile on his face that was apparently directed at me.
“Good morning, Lillian. Thanks for the coffee,” he said as he walked over to my mother and took the thermos from her hand, his eyes never once leaving mine.
“Good morning, beautiful. You ready for today?” he asked as he walked toward the door.
Sure I was. Just not ready to be in close proximity to him.
“Let’s get this show on the road,” I replied as I followed him through the glass-paned door.
I walked down the path behind him. The chill of the spring air blew around me, causing me to cross my arms over my body to try to shield some of the wind from going through my shirt.
Gentry opened the door to the barn I’d just left a little while before, holding it for me to enter.
I couldn’t wait to see Sparkle.
Standing in the doorway, I let out the special whistle I always used to greet her. I’d gotten her for my ninth birthday. A few months prior my daddy taught me how to whistle. Ever since the day I’d gotten her, I’d always whistle to let her know I was near. Hopefully, she hadn’t forgotten.
I’d gotten my answer just as I was going to whistle for the second time.
Her head peered out of the stall and she started pushing against the door, letting me know how excited she was to see me.
Before I could get started on anything, I had to give my beautiful girl some love.
I walked down the long aisle of stalls, each horse peeking their heads out ready to eat until I’d gotten to the last one on the left. Sparkle’s stall.
“Hi there, beautiful. Did you miss me?” I said as I ran my fingers through her mane.
She pushed her head in my hand for me to continue, giving me my answer.
“I missed you too, Sparkle,” I laughed as she continued to seek my attention.
I ran my fingers across the star shaped white spot in the center of her eyes. Hence the reason for the name. I thought of the sparkling stars of the night sky the second I saw her, and I just knew her name would resemble them. At the mere age of nine, I’d met my best friend. There was nothing better in my eyes than just a girl and her horse spending time together. Later in life, I learned that there was more a girl needed. She’d need a flannel shirt and her horse. Oh, and her other best friend. He couldn’t be forgotten.
“Alright, girl. I’ve gotta get started before I get in trouble. I’ll be back later to love on you some more,” I told her. Before I walked away, I kissed the spot where her star shape was.
Grumbling under my breath, I picked up the shovel and started my day.
A couple hours later, my shoulder and back were feeling the effects of the strenuous work I’d preformed.
I stopped for a moment and rubbed a kink out of my neck.
“You shouldn’t be slacking on the job. That’ll get you in trouble with your old man,” I heard from behind me, causing me to let out a shriek and fall backward. Into the pile of straw and manure that was in the wheel barrel behind me.
“Oh shit. Damn, sweetheart. A man could get used to you falling all over him, but I’d say you’d have to shower first,” Gentry said as he laughed with his hand held out to help me out of the pile of shit I currently resided on.
He had to fucking stop doing that.
I wasn’t one of those girls who cared how dirty I got. The muddier the better in my opinion. I loved going out on four-wheelers and playing in the mud with the rest of them. Being in a pile of shit, though. That I had a problem with. It also led me to think of a way to get back at him.
Putting my hands behind me, I grabbed a pile of straw-covered shit and threw it at him.
He deserved it.
Of course, he dodged it. The asshole.
But it made me feel better by throwing it.
“I’m not falling all over you, asshole. I’m falling because of you. There’s a huge fucking difference. I may need a cushion permanently attached to my ass before all is said and done at this rate,” I shouted as I reached for his hand.
He helped me stand with a hint of laughter still coming off him.
I’d get him back. Eventually.
“I need a shower. Now if you’ll excuse me.”
“Are you sure you need that right now? You’re not quite done yet. There’s still the stable on the other side of the property that needs to be done.”
They all thought this was fucking funny. Me, not so much.
“Fine. I’ll get back to it. After I wash my damn hands.”
“You’ve grown a potty mouth since you’ve been gone. I don’t know whether to be turned on or offended.”
“If I were you, I’d be offended. I’m doing nothing to turn you on ever again,” I replied as I stalked away from him in the direction of the sink. I wasn’t backing down from a challenge. All the stalls needed to be cleaned. I’d do it and do it well. I knew they were doing this for payback at me for leaving. Challenge accepted.
By nine in the morning, I was completely exhausted. But all the stalls were freshly cleaned and had new hay put in them. Riding the four-wheeler to my parents’ house, I enjoyed the wind in my hair as it allowed me to cool off. It would take days for me to feel clean with the amount of sweat that my body produced.
Rounding the corner of the barn, I slowed down and stopped.
Gentry stood there on the side of the barn. Shirtless. With a water hose. My body betrayed me at the sight of him with the water streaming down his body as he rinsed himself off.
Damn him and his sexy body.
I put the four-wheeler in its rightful place trying to forget what I had just seen.
Except there he still stood when I came from parking.
With drops of water still cascading down his perfectly sculpted abs. I counted an eight pack at least. Holy shit.
Abort.
I screamed at myself, but my body remained rooted to the spot.
He looked over at me, catching me yet again staring at him.
Fuck my life.
He wasn’t going to let me live this down.
He walked toward me with a devilish grin on his face. I stepped backward trying to move away from him. My back met the side of the barn just as he stood in front of me. He caged me in with both of his arms on either side of my head.
Looking down so I didn’t have to look him in the eye and admit I was checking him out, I saw the ink his skin now held.
Her name sat there etched in beautiful script right above his right peck. Tears immediately filled my eyes at the heartwarming gesture that he made to have a piece of her permanently placed on his body. My hand moved of its own volition. I placed my fingers right above where the ink sat. Only then did I look into his eyes to gain his permission.
He nodded, and I placed my shaking fingers upon his still wet skin. Ever so slowly I traced the nickname that we’d given her on his skin. Over and over my fingers moved across the black lines as the tears flowed down my cheeks.
“I’d never forget her, beautiful. Not ever,” he whispered as he pulled me into him to comfort me yet again.
I wrapped my arms behind his back and held onto him for dear life.
I knew we needed to talk. Probably before tomorrow when my friends arrived. But I wasn’t ready. Soon. We’d have the conversation we should’ve had four years ago.
“Whenever you need me, I’m here. I hope you’ll remember that,” he promised. I nodded into his shoulder as I begged the tears to subside.
I missed her. So much so that it consumed me while I was here. I was a coward. I ran because I couldn’t deal. And my poor, sweet Gentry had to pay the price. He had to suffer and heal all alone, while I ran and tried to forget my pain.