CHAPTER 6
Ainsleigh
I walked away because I had to.
I left him standing there alone in the kitchen with no other thought on my mind except getting away.
Damn him for getting to me.
Damn him for making me break down in his arms.
Damn him for making me feel when I wanted anything but.
Just… damn him.
I stomped up the stairs more than I needed to, frustrated that I couldn’t say no to him. The same way I couldn’t before I left. I didn’t want to get close to him again. That chapter of my life needed to remain closed. He wouldn’t make it easy. I should’ve known. What I hadn’t expected was for him to pick me up, let alone walk into my parents’ house like he owned the place. Someone had some explaining to do. They hadn’t let on that they still talked to him, let alone had seen him. In the four years since I’d been gone, none of them even mentioned his name. They just knew I couldn’t handle it. Maybe I should’ve asked just so I’d have been better prepared for today.
I couldn’t allow us to pick up where we left off. I had to come up with a plan. Tomorrow, I’d text Dylan and Aspen to get their thoughts. They knew all about Gentry. They knew all about me, except for one detail I could never bring myself to share. The most important part of me remained untold. A secret I wasn’t sure would get out once they came here and stayed for a week. I wasn’t ready to let the cat out of the bag, but it was bound to happen. I just hoped I’d be the one to tell them.
I undressed and grabbed my comfy pajama pants and tank top from my suitcase, hastily putting them on. Rummaging through the bag after I was dressed, I found the comfy, fluffy socks I was looking for. I hated having cold feet.
After I put them on, I laid in my bed and stared at the ceiling. Being in this room again felt like home, yet so foreign at the same time. Everything smelled the same, yet I felt like an outsider looking in.
Looking over at the spot that plagued my thoughts, I stared at the floor. Willing the memories to stay away. My heart started to pound in my chest as they threatened to come to the surface from the recesses of my mind where I’d left them.
I laid on the bed and shut my eyes so tight I was sure to get a headache. I didn’t care. I needed the memories to stop.
For a while that method worked. I pushed them back where they belonged, but that didn’t stop my heart from beating faster than normal or for a sheen of sweat to grace my entire body.
Looking over at the clock, I noticed it was only nine at night. It would be eleven in Virginia right now. Way past the bedtime I was used to.
I’d concluded that I’d get no sleep in here. I needed to get away from this room.
From this house.
Getting up from the bed, I slipped on the slippers that were still placed under my nightstand, grabbed my phone, and walked out of the room.
I had one stop in mind.
The barn.
There was a loft at the top with a bed that I could sleep on and a bathroom if I needed it. I’d done it so many times growing up, my parents came to expect me to be there if they couldn’t find me the next morning. This time would be no different.
Sneaking out the door in the kitchen, I walked down the lighted path to my destination. Once my parents realized I had been sneaking out to the barn, they installed lights so that I wouldn’t hurt myself in the dark the next time I decided to wander down here.
I pulled open the door just enough for me to get inside and shut it once I was free from the entrance. The horses made some noises, but I ignored them as I walked over to the staircase.
I grabbed the rail and carefully climbed to the top. The door was open which was odd, but I thought nothing of it as I walked over to the bed exhausted and ready to just sleep the night away. Morning would come too soon for my liking.
I turned the light off that someone must’ve left on and laid down on the comfy bed. My head hit the pillow, and I let out a sigh.
Just when I was comfortable, I heard the bathroom door open, causing me to sit up too quickly. My head spun from the fast motion, and I shook it to clear the fogginess.
There he stood in nothing but a towel. Water dripping down the front of him. Another towel in his hand that he used to dry his hair.
“What are you doing in my bed, sweetheart?”
His bed.
What the hell was going on here?
“I…”
No words would come. I couldn’t get over how much he’d changed. How he had muscles on top of muscles. His chest and abs were so well defined now. He wasn’t the boy I’d left behind. He was now a man. A damn fine one at that.
“You what?” he asked as he stepped closer to where I still sat, unmoving.
He couldn’t come closer.
That’d be bad.
So very bad.
“I didn’t know. I shouldn’t be here,” I said as I tried to get up out of the bed.
My plan didn’t go accordingly.
My foot got caught in the covers, and I went tumbling to the floor for the second time tonight.
I wasn’t this clumsy. It had to have been his fault. He was there both times I’d made a fool of myself.
“You really have to stop falling over me, sweetheart,” he said while trying to contain his laughter.
His towel-covered body leaned down to help me.
This time I let him.
I didn’t need to fall again.
I needed to escape.
He pulled me off the floor with no effort at all.
When we both stood, his towel fell to the floor and caught my eye, along with his manhood.
Damn it, Gentry.
He didn’t even try to cover himself.
Cocky ass.
“Like what you see?”
My cheeks reddened at his words and the fact that he’d caught me checking him out.
“Don’t you think you should grab that?” I asked, attempting to divert him from paying attention to where my eyes landed in my brief moment of lapse in judgement.
As soon as those words left my lips, I regretted it. His perverted ass would take my words out of context.
But he proved me wrong.
He didn’t say a word as he picked the towel up off the floor.
Instead, he turned around and walked toward the dresser that sat in the corner of the room.
He took out a pair of boxer briefs and pulled them on.
Thankfully he waited to turn around until he was done.
In that moment, I looked around the room and finally took my surroundings in.
With the glare coming from the light of the bathroom, I noticed more of Gentry’s things in the space than I had when I first entered the room.
Why hadn’t I paid more attention until now?
He apparently lived here.
But why?
He could’ve returned home.
Should’ve gone home.
Yet, he stayed.
I didn’t regret leaving. I just hated the fact that I wasn’t fully informed. Someone should’ve warned me.
“I should go,” I said as he walked toward me.
“Wait. Why did you come up here?”
“It’s nothing. I’ll leave you to get some sleep,” I replied, looking away so he couldn’t see the turmoil in my eyes. He never missed a beat before in reading my emotions, and I couldn’t forget that. Especially when he’d already seen more than what he should have.
“It’s not nothing. Tell me,” he pleaded as he grabbed my arm to stop me from walking away.
That touch.
The feel of his hand on me.
I let out a breath of frustration, knowing that he wouldn’t let it be.
“I couldn’t sleep in that room. It’s too hard. But I’ll find somewhere else. Don’t worry about it,” I replied as I tried to get him to let go of the hold he had on me. Physically that was possible, but I’d probably never be able to remove the hold he still had over my mind nor my heart. We shared a connection that I’d tried to break. But in just the few hours that I’d been home, I knew that I never succeeded.
“This used to be your special place. Don’t go. Stay,” he said as he pulled me closer to him.
My mind screamed at me to realize the danger of his proximity.
My heart didn’t listen.
Just like old times, it flocked toward him instead of away from him.
I shouldn’t have stayed.
But I did.
Turning toward him, I nodded without uttering another word.
I climbed into the bed and under the covers, determined to not get close to him. To stay on my side of the bed and play it safe.
He had other plans.
He climbed in behind me, pulling me into his chest and covering himself.
This was bad. So very bad.
But why did it feel so right?
“Sweet dreams, my beautiful girl,” he whispered against my ear.
My eyes closed as I took in his words.
I hadn’t missed the fact that he’d called me his beautiful girl.
If only it were that simple.
That night my dreams were sweet.
I dreamt of the future I could’ve had with him.
And that broke my heart even more than the day I’d walked away from him.
From us.