Heather

After returning home to Dad and Faith’s news of hooking me up on a blind date, I decided it’s long overdue for me to move out. I also started to hatch a plan to start dating or at least get my dad off of my back.

I fidget nervously as I smooth my hands over the table top. I’m sitting in the back of the restaurant my guest suggested. I’m so nervous, I jump every time I see someone walking this way.

I can’t believe I’m about to do this. I rub my forehead and think about getting up to leave. My phone buzzes with a text, causing me to look down at the table. It’s Brax, just one more reason I need to do this.

Brax: We need to talk.

I read his text and groan. I blow out a breath and tug at my ear. I’m lost in thought when my guest does arrive.

“Am I interrupting something?” a soft voice asks.

My head snaps up. I take in Lucy from head to toe. Her blonde hair is tucked under a baseball cap, hiding those big blue eyes. She’s dressed in all black, washing out her lightly tanned skin, making her look paler than she is. The look is finished with heavy black boots on her feet.

I’ve always admired her. She has been out since the tenth grade. She’s never cared about what anyone thought about her or her sexual preference. We were cool way before the rumors at school started. I guess that didn’t help how people chose to see me.

I stand, pulling my friend into a hug. I realize how much I’ve missed her. When I left Cali, I never looked back. I lost touch with the few friends I did have here. When I returned my focus was my sister, I never thought to reach out to my old friends. I only still talk to a sparse few.

We release each other and take our seats. My nerves shoot into over drive. I start to fidget in my seat. Lucy tilts her head at me, but I duck away from her eyes. I blow out a breath and reach for my menu.

I rehearsed what I’d say a million times. Yet, all of the words have taken leave from my brain and left me feeling vulnerable and foolish. This was all a dumb idea. I start to chide myself for taking things this far.

“Come on, Heather. What’s all of this about?” Lucy says, causing my eyes to lift and lock with hers.

I sigh, reaching to tug at my ear, but place my hands into my lap instead. My shoulders sag, my mind races, as I try to think of something else to tell her instead of the real reason I invited her out to lunch.

Lucy gives a giggle. “You know I always found that thing you do with your ear adorable. You do it anytime you’re really nervous about something. You used to do it with your hair, before you cut it all off.”

I look up at her and blink. I know about my little nervous tick. I don’t do it often, just when I’ve reached my breaking point. I learned a long time ago to get it under wraps. I’ve been called on it by the guys, which helped me put it in check.

“Don’t look so shocked. We were close in high school. I mean, as close as you let anyone other than your cousin and the Blacks get,” Lucy lift her hands and shrugs.

“Yeah, I guess we were,” I nod.

I lick my dry lips, still trying to put my words together. My emotions are swirling, as I become overwhelmed. I still haven’t taken time to unpack the mental luggage I have from Vegas. I think everything is starting to weigh down on me.

“Come on, Heather. It’s me, what’s this all about?” Lucy asks with a small smile on her lips.

I blow out a long breath. “I heard you’re trying to get into gay weed porn,” I blurt out.

“Not the film stuff,” she frowns a little. “More link Instagram famous, my own site, shit like that. No live cams or anything. It’s more to build my brand for my oils. You know model some, build a following and then push the hemp oil.”

“Hemp oil?” I tilt my head this time.

Lucy rolls her eyes, but her face becomes animated, as she launches into her explanation. “Yeah, cannabis lube. Why smoke weed and get so high you don’t remember the sex or even get the best response from it? Rubbing cannabis oil directly on the clit can be so fucking amazing. God, the orgasms,” she pauses to bite her lip, her eyes roll in her head. “With the right partner, you can go to the freaking moon and back.”

I sit staring at her, with my mouth open. I’ve just learned something new. I clamp mouth shut, nodding my head.

“So you make this oil?” I say slowly, brows wrinkled.

“Yeah, I have a little shop. Don’t worry, I’m totally legal in the state of California. I’m just trying to get the word out there about my services and product,” she shrugs, beginning to look embarrassed.

“I get it. That’s definitely a way to brand it,” I say as my brain shifts gears to think over her idea.

“You can tell Ginger I’m going to smack the fuck out of her when I see her,” Lucy grumbles.

I laugh. She’s right, it was Ginger that told me. Ginger moved to New York a year after I did, to pursue her modeling and acting. I did some makeup and styling for her for a few of her casting calls. She thought I’d be able to help Lucy. Ginger really did mean well.

“I want to help. I can get you ready for the camera and even help with the photos if you like. I took some photography classes,” I offer.

Lucy takes off her cap, allowing her blonde locks to spill down over her shoulders. Her hair falls limper than it should. I can already see how to bring life back to it. Lucy has a very pretty face, that’s not going to be a problem to work with. A little liner to make her blues pop, some mascara on her lashes, and gloss on her bee stung lips.

Her black t-shirt and jeans do nothing for her athletic figure. I know from gym class, Lucy is as top heavy as I am. With the right clothes, I can make her Insta-famous in no time.

Lucy’s brows furrow. “Why?”

My shoulders sag further, I reach to rub the center of my brows. It’s now or never. Here goes nothing.

“I need a favor. You can never tell anyone about this. No one,” I pause to let my words sink in. When she nods, I continue. “I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend.”

The words rush through my lips, before I have time to taste how they may sound aloud. With them out there between us, I cringe. My eyes study her face for her reaction.

I feel like a toad, but this was the best thing I could come up with to get Dad and Brax off my back. I won’t have to explain to my father why I’ve been pretending for years and Brax…well, with Brax I can build some space to breathe. If I actually start dating a girl, maybe he won’t be so damn cock sure of himself.

Lucy looks away, it’s her turn to look nervous. I watch as she sucks her lip into her mouth. Her eyes scan the restaurant, before falling to the table in front of her.

“I won’t get in the way of your real relationships. If you could just hang out with me sometimes. You know for my dad and friends to see. If you get serious with someone,—I mean, if you’re not already serious. We can pretend to break up,” I rush out.

Lucy starts to pick at her napkin. “I’m not seeing anyone,” she whispers. “You still haven’t told your dad you’re not gay?”

“No,” I say softly.

“Will you finally tell me…why…why you’ve been lying all this time?” Lucy stutters out nervously.

I blink back the tears that threaten to fall. I can’t speak at first. I just nod my head as if she’s looking up at me. I swallow a few times, before I give her a very vague explanation.

“When I was younger, someone made me feel unsafe. This…hiding…it makes me feel safe,” I murmur.

Lucy finally looks up at me. Her eyes are so expressive, but her words that follow leave me confused. Her eyes read sadness, anger and…hope?

“Do you want to show real affection? Like a kiss or something, you know, to make things look real.”

I reach for the back of my neck and rub it. I’m tugging my ear, before I catch myself. Shit, you didn’t think about that one did you? I inhale deeply as I think on her words.

“Umm, if…if you’re okay with that. I guess we should hold hands or hug or something,” I murmur, looking anywhere but at Lucy.

“And you’ll help me with my branding and pictures?” she says with a little more enthusiasm.

My stomach twists. I’m totally taking advantage of the information Ginger gave me. Lucy hasn’t wanted to go to just anyone to take her pictures. She’s willing to get naked or whatever, she’s just been trying to find someone she trusts. I don’t think I could be that bold either way.

“Yeah,” I nod, the guilt twisting into a bigger knot. “I can totally help.”

I look into Lucy’s face and see the stars in her eyes. If only I knew in that moment, that those stars weren’t for the promise of her career and business,—I would’ve walked away. No, my selfishness missed the details. All the things that should’ve stopped me, fly over my head. If only I could take that entire day back.