Braxton

I’ve never lost focus of the promise I made, when I was six years old. Things have been crazy, but I watch everything. I don’t want to spook Heather, but shit has changed with that fucker, Kline. He’s moving differently and I don’t much like it.

I’m going to handle him sooner than later. Heather doesn’t bring him up and I don’t want to force her to think of him. However, I’m not willing to wait much longer for her to believe we’re ready to handle him. His time is up.

I’m already pissed about all the shit I learned from Uncle Ronan. I’d planned to bury all that shit, until after we get Toby and his situation dealt with. Now this. I swear, I want to toss Heather over my knee and spank the shit out of her. If I didn’t think it would set us back a million steps I would.

“I’ve never known you to be the brother that scowls, during a party,” a soft voice says, dragging me from my thoughts.

I turn to see Sephora Lincoln looking up at me. I can’t help the tiny smile that comes to my lips, when I see her smiling face. She reminds me of some of the fun times Heather and I have had, since being together.

I’ll never forget how Heather tried to flirt with Sophi. I was rather amused by it. When I got my hands on Heather, after that little stunt I made her pay.

My smile falls from my lips. There are too many good times between us for us to still be hiding. I’ve done this for Heather. I know how much control means to her. I get that she has needed to heal, this isn’t as easy for her as it would be for someone else. Still, I think we’re beyond all of that.

“What’s up? I’ve never seen you like this,” Sephora says, with concern in her voice.

I stare at her. I need to get this shit off my chest. I feel like I’m about to explode. My anger may seem irrational to some, but Lucy isn’t as innocent, as she tries to pass off to Heather. I just don’t trust her.

I have no idea why the fuck Heather would let her move in with her. Especially, since I practically live there. If we’re not about to tell everyone about us, then what the hell does this shit mean for our relationship.

Shit, while in Ireland, hearing my aunts and grandmother gush over Toby’s wedding, had me wanting to plan my own. Yet, this shit is just going to set us back, I can feel it. With everything in me I want to roar and put an end to all of this bullshit.

“How do you do it?” I blurt out.

If I’m going to talk to anyone, I think Sophi would be the right choice. She and Nick had a rocky road, but they’re stronger than ever now. Although, her puzzled look tells me she’s not following me.

“Do what?”

I throw my head back, blowing out a breath, and rolling my shoulders. When I look back down at her, I search her eyes before I try again. I lower my voice.

“You and Nick. You still…you know,” I nod to the collar on her neck. “You guys live the life.”

It may be a fancy one, but I know what it is. Some of my brothers have dipped deeper into the life than I have, but I know more than enough. I have my reasons for holding back, when it comes to setting that side of me free.

Sephora’s cheeks glow, her eyes dart away from mine. “Yes,” she whispers.

I rub my forehead. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. It’s just I need to talk to someone, before I lose my shit,” I turn to look out over the large garden grounds.

I hear more than see her shift to my side. Her small hand touches my forearm. I turn to look down at her.

“It’s okay. You just caught me off guard. You can talk to me,” she says, with a sweet smile.

Her words tug at the last brick holding the dam in place. I open my mouth and all my frustration pours out. I can’t even contain the rage whirling inside me.

“She doesn’t get it…,” I start, then back up. “I’m seeing someone. While everything in me tells me to be who I am and just dominate the situation, she needs me to give her control. The alpha inside me fills like a caged animal.

“I can see her making fucked up decisions and I want with my whole heart to protect her from them. You know what I’m talking about, Nick would never let you do anything that would put you in danger.

“It’s my job to protect her, even from herself. This…me holding back. It’s going to blow up in my fucking face, but if I take the control she needs so badly from her,” I stop, my chest heaving.

“If I take it, I’ll lose her,” my words come out broken to my own ears.

“Maybe you’re looking at this wrong,” Sophi replies searching my eyes.

My brows knit. “What do you mean?”

“For starters, I couldn’t imagine Nick suppressing who he is. He tried once,” she stops talking looking a little embarrassed. “This is between us, Brax.”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it,” I nod.

“He tried once…to give me control. While it was fun and interesting for play. In the end, we needed our roles. I needed him to top and wanted to submit,” she continues.

“This isn’t about play though,” I say in frustration.

“Yeah, well, we both know, when you’re in the life these things have very little to do with the sex. Nick used to be more high handed with me. It took time for us to find a balance. If you two love each other, you have to learn to be a team. Give her control where she needs it most, but be who you really are as well,” she explains.

I snort. “Who I am wants nothing more than to set a bunch of shit straight,” I pull a hand down my face.

“Then, maybe it’s time to set some shit straight. If you feel it’s for her good. If you love her. You have to be true to what you both need,” Sophi tilts her head at me. “There are always ways to be firm, but gentle.”

“Brax, I think you already made up your mind. What you’re fighting with is following your heart. I’ve seen Nick do the same thing. In the end, my safety comes first. I may not like it at the time, but I get over it, when I see that he’s just trying to protect me.”

“Thanks,” I nod, as her words sink in.

“Be you, Brax,” she winks.

I pull her into a hug. I needed this talk more than she knows. It’s time Heather learn my other side. I’ll protect her with my life, my instincts are always right. It’s time I put an end to all of this shit that’s keeping us from being us.