Braxton

I might be six, but I’m no one’s fool. I see things. I notice stuff. Something ain’t right. Heather hasn’t been herself lately, when she comes to visit Bean. I see it in her eyes and in the way she’s been dressing.

It’s hot as fuck outside. She has on a hoodie and a beanie, for Christ’s sake. All that hair, she has to be burning up. I can see the sweat on the bridge of her nose. Hell, I’m hot just watching her.

It’s not just that. She won’t go next to my house. You used to have to pry Heather from mom’s kitchen and the cookies mom makes. Now, I think she’s avoiding my mom like the plague.

I don’t like it. Something just ain’t right. Her pretty brown eyes don’t smile the way they used to. Not the way they would when she would throw her head back and giggle. She doesn’t do that anymore either. Giggle, I haven’t seen her giggle in two months, three weeks, and four days.

Yeah, I’m counting. Heather has been over here a lot more. Her mom and dad divorced two years ago. Heather took it hard at first, but then she was fine for a while, until a few months ago.

We haven’t pulled a prank together in months. Lately, she’s been mean to me all the time. I don’t care, be mean. I don’t have to play with her, but it’s different, when I can see she wants to play.

Something just ain’t right.

“I don’t know,” Ry says thoughtfully, beside me. “I think you’re right. She doesn’t smell like apples anymore,” he scrunches up his nose. “She smells like one of us.”

“Huh?”

I turn to look at my brother. I agree she doesn’t smell like apples anymore. I noticed that too. I just want to know what he means by one of us.

“You know, like a boy. Musky and shit. Like she ain’t bathing right,” Ry frowns.

My own frown deepens. Ry sounds like mom, but I know exactly what he’s talking about. Heather was once a girly, girl. She smelled like apples and bubbles all of the time. There’s nothing girly about Heather anymore. Another thing I’ve noticed.

“I’m going to talk to her,” I mutter.

“Good luck, she’s been biting everyone’s head off. I’m leaving that alone,” Ry says, turning his bike around, heading in the other direction.

I shrug off his words. I’ve never been one to hold my tongue. Oh, of course, I’m an opinionated six-year-old. Cassidy Black is my mom, I don’t know any other way to be. I say exactly what I’m thinking.

“Hey, Heather,” I say, getting off of my bike to walk up the steps of Bean’s house.

It’s where Heather has been sitting for the last hour. All by herself, looking like she’s lost in space. She’s ten, so she may think I’m a baby to hang out with, but it’s never stopped us before. She just started calling me a baby and telling me to leave her alone.

When she looks in my direction, I see the excitement I used to see there, when we would play. Then, just as soon as it comes, it goes. Yup, something ain’t right.

I hold my hand up, before she can insult me or call me a baby. I don’t have time for that shit. I’m going to say what I have to say and then go ride my bike and mind my own business.

“Listen, you may think I’m a baby and you may not want to play with me no more, but I’m not stupid. I can see something’s wrong. You’re one of my friends and you’re family.

“We’re always here, Heather. You’re as good as a Black in my eyes and my family’s eyes, too. Something ain’t right. It ain’t been right for a few months. You need us, we’re here. You need to tell someone what’s going on.

“Mom will take out her shotguns if she has to. That’s all I’m saying. You’re my friend. I want you to be happy,” I pause and look into her eyes. Something just ain’t right there. I lower my voice. “I want you to be safe. We’re here.”

I wait for her to nod her head back at me. We stare at each other for a long time. It’s as if she’s trying to tell me something, but she’s not saying a word. Still, I feel something…in my chest.

It feels weird and I don’t know what to call it. Heather finally nods. I can see she’s fighting off tears. Tears, I can’t do, so when I get the nod, I take off the way I came. I think I made my point.

* * *

Heather

I thought I was hiding it well. Everyone else has been too busy to notice. Although, I stay far away from Aunt Cass.

I can’t wait until my daddy comes back. Things have only gotten worse. The more time that passes, the more I don’t know if I will make it. I’m not a tough cookie anymore. I’m scared, confused, and crumbling.

I look down the block, where Brax and his brothers are riding their bikes. Brax sees me crumbling. I get the feeling he may have an idea. I saw it in his eyes. He knows…I’m not safe. I haven’t been safe in months.

See, not a kid, not even a baby. He knows stuff. I hope he doesn’t tell anyone, I’m working so hard to keep everyone safe, including me.

I never thought much of my changing body, not until Ernest touched me that first night. I mean, I am one of the few girls in my class that started to develop last year, but I didn’t give it much attention. It was only after Ernest’s attention that I noticed boys at school starting to make comments about my shirts and boobs.

Everything has changed. I hate wearing things that show my body. I don’t want to comb out my hair. Whenever my hair is loose or in pigtails, Ernest has his hands on it. I hate it. It makes my stomach sick to even be around him.

My stomach turns even now, as I think of having to go back soon. I don’t call Ernest’s house my home. That place is a house of horror for me. It will never be my home.

I had an idea. I remembered how upset Ernest was when I peed on myself. I’ve been thinking, if I don’t wash, he’ll back off.

I let a tear fall, wishing this all would go away. I hold back the bile in my throat, as my stomach turns some more. Closing my eyes, I try to get it under control, before someone else notices.

“Hey, Heather,” I wipe my face quickly, then turn for the house to see Bean and Nellie coming out the front door.

“Yeah,” I whisper, keeping my head down so they can’t see my eyes.

“Mom says come in and take a bath. You’re spending the night. We’re having a sleepover. Mom’s ordering pizza, while we wash up,” Bean replies excitedly.

My heart squeezes in my chest. I’m safe. For tonight, I’m safe. I breathe lighter than I have in weeks.

Just thirty-five days. I can make it for thirty-five more days. I won’t have to be scared, when dad gets back home. My daddy will save me.