Heather

I used to lock my door, back in our old place, not anymore. Since being in Ernest’s house, I asked mom for a lock on the door. Stupid Ernest told my Mom I wasn’t old enough to have a locked door.

‘My house, my rules,’ he said.

In his house, he comes and goes as he pleases. It’s our secret. The one he wants me to keep. Every time I think about telling someone our secret, I see Skinny Man with his brains all over the place.

I’ve kept my mouth shut. To make sure that I keep my mouth shut, I stopped hanging out with my friends so much. Well, that was until Ernest started to give me more and more of his attention.

When that started to happen, I began to ask Mom if I could sleepover at Bean’s more often. My cousin’s house is a safe place for me. I have Bean, Aunt Jennifer, and the Blacks.

“Mom made cookies and brownies,” I overhear Felix say to Braxton and Ryan.

I’ve been sitting on the curb, trying to act like I don’t what to play red light, green light, with everyone else. I’m bored and sad that I can’t play with my friends like I used to. When I hear Felix’s excited words, I smile and head to the house.

I slip into the backdoor of the Black house. I love Aunt Cassy’s cookies, they make everything better. She’s not my real aunt. My dad and Uncle Joe are best friends. I’ve been calling Cass and Joe, my aunt and uncle for as long as I can remember.

Uncle Joe is away with my Dad on the same mission. Dad promised that this was the last one. He and Uncle Joe are out after this. They have a business they’re going to start together.

I love Uncle Joe and Aunt Cass. They’ve always treated me like one of their own. If Aunt Cassy has baked cookies. I know she’s baked enough for me, Bean, and the boys.

“I don’t like that fucker, Ernest,” I hear Aunt Cass hiss, stopping dead in my tracks.

“Aye, Love, what would ye have me to do. I’m not ken on the bastard much myself,” I hear Uncle Joe’s voice come through the speaker phone in the kitchen. His accent is showing.

That means one thing. He’s not happy about the topic of conversation. I know my Uncle Joe. When he’s pissed or doesn’t like someone. Then his Scottish accent rears its head.

“Aye, but you don’t see the way the girl looks, Joe. I swear she looks like she’s seen a ghost,” Aunt Cass replies.

My brows shoot up, my heart starts to race. I get a sinking feeling in my stomach that they’re talking about me. I ball my sweaty palms, and listen more closely.

“Rob will gut that fucker alive,” Uncle Joe snarls.

“Not if I cut his nuts off first,” Aunt Cass mutters. “That fucker is arrogant. That money gives him confidence his looks can’t buy. I’ll put a bullet right in his ass, aye, that’s what I’ll do.”

“Now, listen to me, Cass,” Uncle Joe warns. “He runs with the Albanian crime family. Going after him will not be so easy. I want you to wait for Rob and I to get home. We’ll take care of it.”

“Name the fucker I fear,” Aunt Cass replies.

“Cass, for Christ sake, we have seven wee boys. Let me handle this,” Uncle Joe sighs.

“Joe, what if me senses are right? The girl could be in trouble. Debbie cares for no one but herself. She has stars and dollar signs in her eyes. Who’s looking out for the lass,” Aunt Cass pleas, causing my throat to run dry.

They are talking about me. Panic rises in my chest. I can see nothing but Skinny Man being beaten and tortured in my head. My panic turns to anger with myself. I should’ve known to stay away from Aunt Cass.

My heart is pounding. I have to fix this. She can’t stick her nose in this. It’s not safe. I would never forgive myself if she got hurt because of me.

“We don’t have proof, Love,” Joe sighs. “When we get home, we’ll talk to Rob and go from there. For now, I need to know you won’t do anything crazy.”

Aunt Cass snorts, grumbling to herself. There’s silence on the phone, as if Uncle Joe is waiting for her reply. I hold my breath as well, while choking on the fear of Aunt Cass throwing herself in danger’s way for me.

I hear a long deep sigh. “I’ll promise ye this, I will mind me own business as long as I don’t have proof. If I see enough to stick me nose in, I sure as fuck will, Joe. If I have to call me brothers, I will. Aye, I will,” she mutters the last part.

The tightness in my chest doesn’t go away. I know she means every word, which means I need to find a way to keep her from butting in. My stomach growls, begging for the sweet aroma that fills the house. My mouth waters as I feen for the cookies I’d come for, but I don’t think I should go a step further into the house.

I turn and bolt for the back door. When I push outside, I run right into Braxton, knocking him onto his boney butt. He looks up at me with that toothless smile.

I know he’s about to say something silly and talk me into walking back into the house with him for cookies. Braxton is four years younger than me, but he’s one of my best friends. He’s not like most little kids his age.

However, today, I can’t hang out with him or go back into that house. My heart feels like someone filled it with rocks, as it sinks into my stomach. These are my favorite people. The place I feel most safe, but they’re not safe, as long as I’m around.

I can’t let what happened to Skinny Man happen to my family. That’s who the Blacks are, they’re my family. I know that and Ernest knows that too.

Before Braxton can pull me in to his world, I frown at him and stomp my foot. I scowl down at him. “You’re such a little baby. Why don’t you watch where you’re going?”

I see the smile leave his lips and his eyes. I know I’ve just given him the sads, but I have to. I have to keep him safe.

Braxton tries to wipe the sad look from his face. Scowling back at me, he stands to his feet and dusts off his butt. He narrows his eyes at me, watching, studying.

“I’m not a baby,” he finally says. “I don’t know what crawled up your butt, but don’t take it out on me.”

With that he storms past me, into the house. I feel the tears that roll down my cheeks when he’s gone. I rush out of the yard, across to my dad’s house.

No one is there, no one will be there for another hundred and fifty-three days. I wish Faith would’ve stayed at Dad’s and I could’ve stayed with her. None of this would’ve happened if I could’ve just stayed at my dad’s.

I go into the backyard and sit on the swing dad made for me. No one will look for me here. Bean is with her best friend, Nellie. All of the boys are scattered around the block or out somewhere with friends.

For now, everyone is safe. As long as I stay away, as long as I stay here, they’re all safe. I’m safe.