Drew

I’d made the band appointment for eleven in the morning. It seemed like it was late enough for band guys to get up out of bed, especially if they’d had a gig last night. But it was early enough that Chloe and I would have plenty of time to get back.

The drive was only two and half hours but we’d agreed to leave at seven thirty to have time to get breakfast and also, to find the place. Neither of us had ever driven into Boston on our own.

But as I stood by her car in the early morning mist, I had this sinking feeling that she wouldn’t show. I mean, who could blame her?

Even if she hadn’t thought I was playing some cruel joke on her, which she clearly did, I’d behaved like a jerk. Again.

Her kiss had been so spectacular. When she’d thought it was Alex and not me it had straight up hurt my feelings and that is tough for any guy to admit.

But instead of running off, I should have told her the truth. Or better yet, waited to kiss her when she’d known who I was and I was sure she wanted me to rather than getting swept away by my feelings.

The crunching of gravel pulled me from my thoughts and as I squinted my eyes down the path, I saw Chloe coming toward me. She had on her customary jean shorts and hoodie, along with flip flops and a messy ponytail. I wanted to pull her in my arms and beg for forgiveness. But as she moved closer, I could see her normally sparkly blue eyes were puffy and dull. I’d done that. Guilt stabbed at my chest.

A million different words crashed around my brain, bumping into one another until none of them made sense and the only thing I was able to mutter was, “Dunkin Donuts?”

She gave a nod as she pulled her keys from her purse. She looked tired, her shoulders slumped and her head bent. “Sure, coffee sounds great.” But her usual perky tone was missing. My hand reached up. I wanted to comfort her, give her a hug even, but I didn’t dare.

Dropping my hand again, I asked, “Want me to drive for a while?”

Finally, she looked at me, her eyes wide with surprise. How could she be so shocked that I cared enough to make a simple offer of help? “That would be great, actually.”

“Chloe,” I started, wanting to clear the air. I felt terrible. I wanted to confess and move on but she shook her head.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said, her tone clipped.

I nodded. I did want to talk about it and I was going to try again but it seemed better to get some coffee in her first.

An hour and a half later, even after a coffee and a bagel, I was still trying to figure out how to bring it up. The radio didn’t begin to fill the silence between us. I was still driving, and I’m pretty sure she was pretending to sleep.

Swallowing, I wondered if I should ask. I really wanted to talk with her about the whole thing. Interestingly, I was so fixated on Chloe, I hadn’t had a chance to be nervous about the tryout at all. My priorities had never been clearer.

“Hey,” I said softly. “Are you awake?”

I heard her stop breathing and knew that she was. But she didn’t say anything, nor did she respond.

Scratching my neck, I decided to continue. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry I kissed you without asking. I wasn’t trying to trick you, I just--”

“I call B.S.,” she said as she sat up straighter. “You were trying to trick me.”

“Why do you think that?” I asked without really thinking it through. Often my problem, but that was an issue for another time. Right now I had to figure out what was in Chloe’s head. Because it had to be different than what was in mine for her to be so angry.

“If the kiss had been something other than a trick, you would have told me it was you,” she fired back.

I winced. “I was going to tell you. I was just worried about how you would react. You thought it was Al--”

“Yeah right,” she said then she slumped back down in her seat. “That is literally the worst explanation I’ve ever heard. ‘I was going to tell you.’” She imitated me in deep voice. Then she huffed a breath. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“I do,” I moved into the right lane, where traffic was going slower. In a way she was right. It was hard to express my feelings while also trying to avoid being hit at seventy miles per hour. “I will admit to being a less than spectacular human being, but I was not, I repeat not, being intentionally mean. Chloe, I like you and--”

“I liked you too.” She drew out the word liked. Her use of the past tense left my head spinning. So, it was that bad.

“I see,” I said quietly. Part of me wondered if she meant by like what I had meant. Which was a lot more than friends. But I didn’t want to ask now that she’d made a statement like that. “So why even drive me up here?”

“I don’t hurt the people who are important to me. I help them. I wanted you to know how real friends act.” She said it so quickly that I actually pumped the break.

I knew what she meant. I had hurt her. “Funny, you did just hurt me. A lot.” It was my turn to be silent. Maybe she was right. Maybe I deserved it. But those words affirmed all my worst fears. That I wasn’t good enough for Sarah or Chloe, or anyone else.

My hands gripped the steering wheel as I choked back emotion. I wouldn’t get upset in front of her but how were we going to get past this? She didn’t think I was a good person. And I probably didn’t deserve someone like her. Then there was the fact I was heading to a tryout for a band. I’d never been less confident in my life. How could I perform? I was pretty sure I couldn’t. Not like this. I’d bomb it.

Putting on my blinker, I got off at the next exit. We’d just crossed the Massachusetts border and I knew it was pretty late to ask to reschedule. But I just couldn’t do it.

“What are you doing?” she asked then.

I took a right at the bottom of the off ramp and pulled into the nearest gas station. “I’m gonna fill up your car and then I’m going to call and cancel the tryout or postpone it or something.”

“What?” she choked out. “You can’t do that. We drove all this way.”

I shook my head. “I’m all messed up. I’ll never do well like this. I’m sorry I wasted your morning. It was really nice of you to go on this road trip with me but I’ll find another time to try out or a different band or whatever.”

“You’re all messed up?” she asked.

With the car parked, I could finally look at her. She was staring straight ahead still but I could see she was biting her lip. I loved it when she did that. “I know I haven’t done a very good job here, but I really want to at least be friends.”

She made a choking noise and I thought maybe she didn’t believe me. She cleared her throat and said, “I do too.”

For the first time all morning I relaxed. “What I did, kissing you--”

But she cut me off. “Let’s talk about that after your tryout. Right now, let’s just agree to be friends. I’m sorry too. I said some mean stuff. I guess we can all act jerky sometimes.” She looked over at me then. “And maybe, we could practice a few songs with our last hour?” She turned to me finally and those big blue eyes met mine. The ones I loved so much. “I’ll drive. You can get out your guitar.”

I took a deep breath. On the one hand, it was a good plan. On the other, I was ready to just tell her that I loved her and kiss her until she admitted she loved me too.

* * *

Chloe

Don’t ask me why, but I could never stay mad. Maybe it was because listening to Drew strum and sing on his acoustic guitar was just so much nicer than the awkward silence that had filled the car.

I found myself singing along too and as we drove up Route 93 into the city, we were both belting out Ed Sheeran at the top of our lungs. It was more fun than I’d had, maybe ever. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was missing something. Some piece of information that would explain why Drew and I were so in sync sometimes and then I thought he hated me others.

The day had heated up and when we came to our first stop light by the Prudential Center, I pulled my sweatshirt over my head as Drew undid the clips to the convertible. Folding the top down, the summer sun beat down on us as we continued singing.

The streets were quiet. It was Sunday morning and, it turned out, The Conservatory School wasn’t too far off the exit so we made it with tons of time to spare. The address Drew had been given was an old brownstone and, by some miracle, there was parking right out front. There was also a large park across the street with a huge section of gardens. My breath caught. It was amazing.

Drew followed my gaze. “It’s the Fens.” He pointed down the park. “On the other side is Simmons. We’ve got time, want to go check it out?”

I looked over at him, trying to understand him. He should be thinking about his band tryout not my college tour. If he’d only wanted a ride, why was he being nice? Was he worried I’d leave him in Boston? I almost laughed out loud at the thought. “Don’t you want to rehearse some more?”

He slowly reached up his hand and, very gently, the pad of thumb brushed down my cheek. It left a tingling trail in its wake. “I’m ready. Besides, you deserve to check out your new digs after driving up here.”

I started to protest but he cut me off.

“Having fun with you will relax me, let’s go.” He hopped out of the car and came around to my side. Opening my door, he reached his hand in to help me out. The whole scene reminded me of when I’d arrived at camp just a few days ago only everything was so different now.

I didn’t have a crush on Alex anymore, it was Drew who had crushed me. That thought made me swallow hard and, once I was out of the car, I pulled my hand away from his. I had to keep this in the friend zone or my heart was likely to be broken again.

After he stashed his guitar, we walked along the park, the summer sun still not hot enough to make it uncomfortable. In fact, it was beautiful. “Can you believe we’re going to be here in the fall? Live here?” I gushed, looking around.

He gave me a warm smile. “I’m so glad we’re going to all get to hang out.”

My brows drew together. Did he really see us hanging out next year? I wasn’t sure he’d want to past today. A large stone building came into view that I recognized from my interview. I sucked in my breath. “There it is.”

We stood there, looking at the building when his hand slipped into mine. It felt so right to be there with him, hold his hand that I leaned my head against his shoulder. He whispered softly, “I am so happy for you.”

“I’m happy for you too.” I looked up at him then and our eyes met, our gazes holding. For a split second, I thought he might kiss and I wanted him to. But then, he picked me up and twirled me around. My hands came to his shoulders and for a minute, I closed my eyes and just felt. The strength of him, the warm sun, the happiness.

When my feet touched the ground, I pushed away. That moment had been too intense and I needed some space. It was one thing to be friends, but another to start touching again. I couldn’t open myself up like that.

* * *

Drew

I saw it in her eyes. Wariness. It was the way they narrowed, darkened. Instead of being the color of a sunny blue sky they were like an ocean during a storm. Then she wrapped her arms around herself, ducking her head. I’d gotten carried away, picking her up like that. We’d only just declared a truce. “Want to walk around the campus?”

She shook her head. “No, we’ll go after. Let’s get back so you’re not late.”

I shrugged but I followed her as she started back. The gardens weren’t quite as magical on the walk back as they had been on the way to Simmons and the conversation had dried up. I couldn’t stand the silence any more as I touched her arm. “You’re still mad at me.”

“I’m not.” She shook her head. “I promise. And, we have to entire car ride home to talk about it.” Then she gave me a soft smile. “Want to air guitar for the rest of the walk?”

It made me laugh. Air guitar? Yeah right. Guys who played didn’t ever pretend. And her joke lightened the mood, made me feel less tense. Man, she knew how to put me at ease.

When we got back to the car, three guys stood outside the brownstone. One of them carried a base.

“Hey,” he called. “You Drew?”

“Yep,” I replied. “You from Echo Stream?”

“Yeah, man. Cool ride,” another guy said but his eyes weren’t on the car, they were on Chloe as she popped the trunk where I’d stashed my guitar. She didn’t see him looking at her, but I did.

“Thanks,” she chirped in her usual happy tone.

I knew Chloe and I were on tentative terms but as I grabbed for my case, I put my arm at her back and kissed her temple. No more playing from a position of jealousy. I was going on the offense and letting this guy know to back off. It was a risky move after the park but something had clicked. I liked her. Actually, l loved her. It was time I laid everything on the table. Because pretending to be friends wouldn’t work and no matter what she decided, it was time I gave it my all.

She quirked a brow at me as we straightened. I gave a little shrug. “You look beautiful,” I whispered.

Her smile was soft. “You’re going to kill this.”

Right. I had to focus on the band. What was more, I had to trust Chloe that she valued me, at least as a friend, and not let jealousy get in the way of my tryout, but more importantly, our friendship.

Chloe and I crossed the street and I kept my arm around her waist. She didn’t say anything, nor did she pull away, but she wasn’t exactly leaning into me. That was fine. I’d take the compromise.

“Drew,” one of the guys stepped forward. “We talked on the phone. I’m Derek.” He stuck out his hand and I finally unlaced mine from around Chloe’s waist to shake his. He had spiked dark hair and ripped jeans. I liked his vibe already.

“This is Seth,” he pointed to the guy who’d had his eyes all over Chloe. “Our bassist. And Doug is our drummer.”

I nodded to each of them.

“This is Chloe.” My hand slipped back around her waist.

She cleared her throat. “Nice to meet you.”

“Are you a musician too?” Derek asked, giving her the once over. “You’d have great stage presence.”

I tried not to frown but the corners of my lips turned down. What he meant was she would look hot.

“Not really. I just provided the ride.” She winked and they all laughed like she’d said the funniest thing ever.

But Chloe was selling herself short. And, much as I was jealous of their attention, she deserved some for her singing. “Chlo’s an amazing singer.” My hand slipped back around her waist and gave it a little squeeze. She turned to me, her eyes growing wide.

I knew what would happen. They’d hear her and, if they weren’t crushing on her already, they would be. A hotter than hell blonde with a serious set of pipes was every band’s dream. Much as it pained me, I had to stop getting angry every time a guy paid attention to her. It wasn’t that I had one of those jealous personalities. After Sarah, I just didn’t trust a girl to not ditch me for a better deal. But Chloe wasn’t like that. I knew she wasn’t and it was time to start acting like it.

“Really?” Derek’s grin widened. “You have to jam with us too.”

Chloe gave a shrug. “Maybe. This is Drew’s gig, not mine.”

Man, in that moment, I realized, I was one lucky guy. She’d just had her opportunity. To make this about her, to gain attention from some other guys, but she hadn’t. She was going to stay on the sidelines and let me shine. Not very many people would give up that kind of attention for someone else.

Actually, she’d cancelled a date with Alex when she’d realized she didn’t feel that way about him. Chloe was a straight shooter and I should have trusted her a long time ago.

Which made me even more of a jerk. I hadn’t trusted her even after she’d clearly said she didn’t have feelings for Alex. I had some serious making up to do.

I wasn’t sure how yet, but I would make it up to her. Because Chloe wasn’t like that. She wouldn’t dump me for some vacation attention. She was honest and caring.

“Want to get started?” I asked, attempting to pull Chloe just a little closer. Truthfully, I didn’t want to try out at all. I wanted to take Chloe somewhere private and tell her how sorry I was. Promise to be better. Tell her that I loved her and I would never hurt her again.

“Let’s do it.” Derek grinned.

We moved into the brownstone, which smelled a little like stale beer but looked like it had once been an amazing mansion. Heading up a flight of curved stairs, we turned to the left and found an amazing old ballroom. The band had set up their equipment at one end.

The room was lined with a wall of windows, each with its own balcony. The entire room overlooked the park.

“This place is amazing,” Chloe murmured.

Seth wiggled his eyebrows. My eyes narrowed. “I know, right? School bought it a hundred years ago and they use it for dorms. Crazy.”

They showed me to an amp I could plug into and everyone began tuning their instruments. Chloe found a chair at the other end perched on the edge, watching us warm up. I forgot to be nervous as I looked at her sitting there.

“Ready?” Derek looked over at me and I nodded.

“All right. Why don’t you start by playing something for us?”

I looked down at Chloe and she winked at me. That was all I needed and I launched into a Jimmy Hendrix song. I didn’t look at the guys. In this moment I didn’t care if they approved or didn’t. I only really cared about Chloe. And her face was all the affirmation I needed.

As I finished, Seth let out a whoop. “That rocked, man!”

From there we played a couple of the band’s songs and, I have to be honest, it felt effortless, blending with these guys.

“That was awesome.” Derek pumped his fist in the air.

“Thanks,” I scratched the top of my head, rubbing my fingers through my hair as I studied the floor.

Derek put his mike back in the stand. “We have to talk about it, of course, but guitarists like you are hard to find. How are you not in a band already?”

The other guys murmured in agreement and I looked over to Chloe. She beamed at me, giving me a double thumbs up.

“My band and I split when I went off to college. I’ve been looking for a new one.”

“Lucky us,” Derek said and then cleared his throat as he looked across the room. “So what do you say, Chloe? You gonna grace us with a song?”

The jealousy prickled along my skin but I took a deep breath. I had to trust her. There was no other way. “You should, Chlo.”

She looked at me uncertainly but slowly stood. “I haven’t practiced any of your songs.”

“You pick,” Seth said quickly. “But pick something cool.”

Her eyebrows went up. “No pressure.”

They all laughed again and my shoulders slumped. She looked amazing standing there with her windblown curls and little tank top. I knew all these guys were thinking the same. But this time was different because I was going to trust her.

She tapped her chin with one finger as she looked that the ceiling. A mischievous smile curved up one side of her mouth. “I’ve got it. How about some Janis Joplin?”

“Nice,” Seth yelled.

“Piece of my Heart,” she said as she stepped up to the mic. My heart dropped to my stomach. What did that song mean?

It was heavy on the guitar. I loved seventies music, she knew that. Was the song meant for me? I wanted to believe she willing to give me a piece of her heart but I couldn’t think any more about it as the music kicked up.

But as she started to sing, it’s like her voice went straight through me. I was shaking as I played and when she sang, the chorus the lyrics cut straight through me. Was she offering my another chance? I saw her look at me out of the corner of her eye.

I swear, I almost dropped the guitar, left it, and carried her out of this place. I didn’t have any plan about where we would go or what we would do. I just wanted to be with her. Really be with her.

But as she sang about her heart breaking, she hit every word. Her voice bounced through me like a bowling ball knocking down pins. Was I breaking her heart?

The strains of the music finally died and no one said a word.

Chloe giggled nervously into the mic. “That bad?”

“No,” Derek shifted. “You’re awesome. I mean really good. You’re not coming here next year are you?”

“No,” Chloe put the mic back, shaking her head quickly. “I’m going to Simmons for--”

“You’ll be close,” Seth cut her off. “You have to jam with us again.”

Chloe shrugged looking over at me. But her gaze kept dropping to the floor as a blush stained her cheeks. “Maybe.”

I set down my guitar in its case and walked over to where she stood, lacing my fingers through hers. “You definitely should.” I may or may not be in the band. And maybe these guys were just asking because they wanted to hit on her. But she deserved the attention. I wouldn’t get angry anymore, somehow that had melted away. Was she really inviting me to try for her heart again? God, I hoped so.