Drew

Alex and I walked over to Chloe and Millie’s cabin. I was no longer dreading tonight, in fact, I couldn’t wait. Tonight I wanted to show her that I liked her as more than just a friend. I’d dated plenty, hooked up some, but with Chloe, I was actually nervous. Like, sweaty palm nervous, where I had to wipe them on my shorts for the third time in the five minute walk. It was particularly annoying because I was carrying my guitar and had to keep switching hands, the case handle was getting so greasy.

She and Millie stepped out of the cabin and I caught my breath. Her hair was down, her beach curls blowing in the wind and she had on this old pair of jeans, a little ripped and faded but hugging her in all the right places. Honestly, I wanted to kiss her right then and there.

But we were going as friends. I’d wait until later to tell her how I felt and see how she felt about me.

“Hey pretty ladies,” Alex grinned, looping his arm around Millie. Man, that guy was a good friend. He’d totally shifted his expectations for tonight with barely a bother.

“Hey yourself,” Millie answered, tossing his hand off her shoulder while she giggled.

I slipped my arm around Chloe’s waist and rested my hand on the small of her back. I loved the feel of her against my side. “Hi,” I wasn’t trying for a bedroom voice, but it came out low and husky.

“Hi,” she replied, her voice catching a little.

Alex and Millie began walking toward the beach and we followed. I had so much I wanted to say but none of the words actually came out and so we walked silently, my hand still at her back.

“Is tonight weird?” she finally asked.

“Maybe a little?” I grinned at her. “Why do you think it’s weird?”

I heard her draw in a long breath. “I don’t know. It was supposed to be a date with Alex and…” she trailed off, looking up at me but I looked away. Alex. It was always about Alex.

“He seems cool with just being friends.” I didn’t know what else to say. And maybe I was being impatient, but I wanted to start talking about us and not about him.

She didn’t say anymore and we reached the end of the trail. The beach opened up before us and the fire blazed in the moonlight. Several logs had been dragged over to burn and others were spread in a circle to sit on.

Chloe sat in on a vacant log and I sat next to her. I was probably a masochist but I didn’t want to just give up. That made it sound like I had a choice. But it was probably more accurate to say, I couldn’t make myself sit anywhere but next to her. Alex sat on her other side and Millie next to him.

Well, wasn’t this just cozy? All the other counselors were talking and laughing as several more large logs went on the fire. The four of us, however, sat quietly. I stared into the flames. Every time we were all together, it got weirdly uncomfortable.

Not knowing what else to do, I pulled out my guitar and began strumming. It always soothed me and as I played a few cords, the opening notes to “Titanium” drifted from my guitar.

Chloe looked over at me, her eyes sparkling in the moonlight. “I love that song.”

“Yeah,” I couldn’t help but smile, much of my tension easing. When she looked at me like that everything else melted away. “Do you sing? I mean, I know you sing but would you sing something like that?”

She gave a tiny shrug. “I’ve sung that song in the shower before but that’s about it.”

“That’s the perfect place to practice. Sing it for us.” I gave her a hopeful smile, praying she wouldn’t say no.

Her head bopped back and forth but finally she took a deep breath. “Fine.”

“Yes!” I yelled a little louder than necessary. Several people around us stopped talking. “I’ll start over.”

It was meant for the piano but as the first note came out, Chloe took over. I’d known she had a good voice, she was always singing but those were camp songs the every one could sing. As her voice soared effortlessly over the notes, I had to concentrate to keep playing, her voice was mesmerizing. Why didn’t she sing absolutely everything? As she climbed up and over the lyrics of the chorus the words, floated above us, I realized everyone had gone silent to listen to her.

Only the ocean waves added sound as she sang the second half of the song. By the end, I could barely make my fingers work, I was so struck by her effortless, soulful voice.

It finally ended and I sat, my guitar in my hands, trying to breathe evenly. I’d known that I liked Chloe. But somehow, sharing this music made my feeling so much deeper. I was drowning in them.

The group broke out in wild applause and Alex jumped up, giving a holler. “That was awesome.”

“Thanks,” Chloe ducked her head, her hands coming up to her cheeks.

“What could possibly come after that?” someone called. It was clearly meant as a compliment and I hid a smile. Chloe deserved it.

“More fire!” Alex yelled into the night. “I’ll go get more wood.” He hopped up and in a flash he disappeared into the darkness.

I watched Chloe rub her palms down her jeans. She gave me a quick look as she half rose and then sat again. Then she stood too. “I’ll come with you,” she said sprinting after him.

What had just happened? I thought we’d had a moment. “Well that sucks,” I muttered as she disappeared into the darkness. I’d felt this amazing bond after playing with her and she’d just disappeared.

“Hey,” Millie said sliding down next to me. “It doesn’t suck. I think she just wants to clear the air with Alex so there is no confusion.” She paused. “You know, before she does anything else.”

Does anything else? That sounded a lot like she had plans to date other people. Maybe even me.

I jumped up too unable to sit any longer. I wanted to talk with her, maybe even hold her close. “Thanks, Millie. I’ll see you later.”

She waved her hand. “Sure. Glad to help.” She let out a little sigh. “Pay no attention to the fact that I am only here to support Chloe. No one wants to date little old me.”

I gave her back a quick pat. “Millie, you’re gorgeous. Any day now, some guy is going to fall madly in love.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she replied. “I can’t believe you’re heading to bed already.”

I didn’t reply because I was already sprinting after Chloe.

It was difficult to see in the dark and for a few minutes I thought I wouldn’t find her. The moonlight was dim but as I walked along the shore, I heard her call, “Alex?”

Heading for the sound, I caught her outline in the moonlight. I could barely make her out but her hair was a dead giveaway. Those curls caught the light, shimmering in the most beautiful way.

“Hey,” I called. I wanted to be next her, I wanted to touch her, to kiss her. I wanted to make this night about me not about him. Hope and affection were muddling my brain into a warm gooey mess.

“Hey,” she replied, turning towards me. “I wanted to--”

But I didn’t let her finish. Grabbing her waist, I pulled her against me and dropped my lips to hers. She was still for a second, shocked at what I had done. But as I kissed her again, her lips softened, warmed, and responded in the most gratifying way. She tasted so sweet and I as I kissed her more deeply, her hands slid up my chest to reach around my neck.

I slanted her mouth open and pressed her closer as the touch grew more intimate. I’d never had a kiss like this. It was amazing. Our connection palpable.

I could have stayed there all night, kissing her like this, holding her close. But the sounds of several guys yelling finally broke the spell. I lifted my head. “I didn’t know--”

But she silenced me with her next words. “I didn’t know either, Alex.” She sounded breathy and excited. She sounded in love… with Alex. She thought I was Alex. My head spun as I stepped away. I couldn’t talk because if I did, I’d say way worse things than I had ever said last summer. I wanted this girl and I’d thought she’d wanted me too. But all she’d ever wanted was Alex. Taking another step back, I broke into a jog and then started to run. I needed to get out of here, fast.

* * *

Chloe

What had just happened? I tried to make sense of it, but nothing fit together. Holding my fingers to my lips, I knew one thing. Kissing was amazing. At least, kissing Alex was.

And that confused me so much. Because I’d been so sure that I only liked Alex as a friend. I’d followed him out here to tell him so, hadn’t I? When we were together I didn’t feel that breathless desire like I did with… I wouldn’t think about Drew now. Because it was Alex who I’d come out here to talk to. And then when I’d called for him, he’d come and kissed me and…

I paused. This whole thing would have been easier if I had seen his face. If he’d really talked to me. Because even knowing it was him that had kissed me, I was having trouble picturing him in front of me, his lips on mine.

And why did he ask me out, then say we should go as friends and then kiss me? It made no sense.

Not knowing what else to do, I headed back to the fire. Alex was there, with his arm around Millie again. Which was so wrong. He had kissed me and now he was hanging all over my best friend. It was my first instinct to talk with Drew. He’d help me make sense of this but Drew was gone.

Drew. Crap.

That situation was even more confusing than the one with Alex. Because Drew took my breath away. And he irritated me to no end. When he wasn’t being super supportive and understanding.

I sat back down and Alex gave me a little shove on the arm. “What’s up, buttercup? Where’d you go?”

Where did I go? I went to get my first kiss. With you! “You know where I was.”

He scrunched his eyebrows down, looking confused. “Where is Drew?”

“I’m not sure,” I said.

Millie leaned around Alex. “He went back to his cabin, I think.”

He’d left? Part of me was relieved while another was disappointed. Which was so confusing. I’d just shared an amazing kiss with another guy.

And Alex was acting like nothing had happened. I mean, he talked, a lot. And he told giant crazy stories about sharks attacking on the beach, making everyone laugh. But he barely looked at me.

How could he not even look at me after that amazing earth shattering kiss? Then I gasped. Was I the only one who’d found it to be so unbelievable? Maybe he hadn’t liked it and was now pretending it had never happened. How should I know? I had no experience to fall back on.

Finally, I got up, and started walking. Because this night had been incredibly confusing. I wandered without really seeing but found myself back at the cabins. Bypassing the path to my own, I went down to the boys’ section. I knew which cabin belonged to Drew and Alex and I stood fifty feet away, staring at it. It was dark and nothing stirred in the night.

Should I knock? Not only did I want to know why Drew had left, but I also wanted to talk with him about my confusion. Which in and of itself was confusing. When had Drew become the person I wanted to hash out my feelings with?

And honestly, I wanted to kiss Drew too. Which officially made me the worst person ever but I felt so close to him. What would a kiss with him be like? I shook my head to clear these thoughts. Boys were not shirts that you tried on to see which fit the best. I had to make a decision and I had to stick to it.

Kicking my foot in the dirt, I decided I’d better not knock. I’d talk with him in the morning. Tomorrow was Saturday. Millie and Alex had the day off but we’d be running all camp activities. Together.

Sighing, I went off to my own cabin. But I didn’t fall asleep till well after Millie came in for the night. I should have been excited. I’d just gotten my first kiss and it had been magical. But something was off.