Millie

I hung up my phone, staring at the screen.

Oh. My. God. My best friend Chloe had just started dating a super hot guitar player.

I flopped back on my bed, still staring at my phone in disbelief. I would not cry. Swallowing down my tears, I set the phone to the side. Don’t get me wrong, I was so happy for her, I really was. Drew, her dreamy new boyfriend, was perfect for Chloe.

But sometimes it felt like my job as friend was to be happy for everyone else while they rode off into the sunset with their perfect guy while I played the part of sendoff committee.

It was never going to be my turn. I was eighteen and I’d never had a boyfriend. I’d never even been kissed.

I snuggled down into my bed, burying my face in my pillow. The sounds of Camp Winnipeg were only slightly muffled by its synthetic fluffiness. I could still hear the crickets and the distant sound of the ocean waves normally lulled me to sleep.

I loved this place. I’d been coming here since I was twelve and this year, I’d become a counselor. I actually got paid to be here which was kind of amazing. Except for right now. I’d like to be anywhere else but here.

I had two other roommates who were both out cold. Chloe, of course, was off with Drew. I pulled out my phone again. I was normally the listener. The friend who offered up the shoulder to cry on, who gave advice, and cheered my friends’ accomplishments. Successes like going to states, or getting asked to the prom or scoring a hot guitar player. Ugh. But tonight, I needed to talk.

I tapped on my screen and chose my list of contacts. As I started scrolling down searching for someone who would hear me out, I stopped after just a few names.

My thumb hovered over Alex Gorski. He and Drew were best friends and the four of us had been hanging out a lot. If anyone would understand my feelings about the two of them becoming a couple, it was him.

Tapping on his name, I typed a message before I could really think about it. We’d exchanged digits a few days ago but I hadn’t actually ever called or texted. You’d think I would have started with a Hi or a how are you but tonight I just needed to get it out.

Chloe and Drew are dating.

I sent the message and then stared at my screen, nervous butterflies dancing in my stomach. Why was I nervous? Friends sent each other text messages. But I sat up straight in my bed when the three dots started undulating that he was writing back.

What? No way. Where are they? I thought they were supposed to be back hours ago?

That made me smile. It was like everything with Alex. No awkwardness, just easy. My fingers flew over the keypad.

The car broke down. Drew’s dad will make sure they make it back to camp in time for work in the morning.

When I sent the message, I saw the three bubbles pop again right away. It was only after they disappeared, with no actual reply, that I realized I had been holding my breath.

I lowered my phone. Why was I getting so excited for Alex to send me a text?

Setting my phone face down on my bed, I tossed myself back against the pillow, throwing my arm over my face.

It had been a bad idea to text Alex.

Because he was gorgeous and sweet and way out of my league. I may as well invite a mule to kick me while I was down. Of course Alex was too busy to text me with me.

Resisting the urge to pick up my phone and check it, I flopped over on my stomach. The best thing to do now was go to sleep and hopefully wake up more mentally stable tomorrow.

I mean I couldn’t be emotionally needy with a guy who was just my friend, and a new one at that, and one who could date any counselor in camp.

I shut my eyes and tried to fall asleep to the crickets. But another sound made me lift my head. It was a light tap tap tap on the screen door of my cabin. What was that?

“Millie,” I heard a hissing whisper come from the other side of the door. “It’s me.”

Sitting up, I grabbed my phone and crept across the cabin. “Who?” I whispered back.

“Who else were you just texting?” his voice grew a little louder. “It’s me. Alex.”

Oh. My. God. It was Alex at my cabin in the middle of the night. A little thrill raced through me. “What are you doing here?” I asked as I opened the door.

He was leaning against the jam with that smile, all full lips, shiny white teeth and dimples, the one that always took my breath away. His blond hair ruffled in the wind and somehow his casual pose only accentuated how muscular he was. “I thought you might need to talk. Want to take a walk?”

My cheeks heated even as I nodded. It wasn’t that I thought this was a big declaration of affection. But it was nice that he cared enough to come talk with me when I really needed it. “That would be great, thanks.”

I stepped out on the porch and he slung his arm around my shoulders. It was a gesture I’d grown familiar with and one that was friendly but still kind of intimate. He’d been doing it a lot and I had to be honest, I loved it. Not just because no guy had ever been friendly enough with me to touch me like this but also because he felt amazing.

“So Chloe and Drew finally figured it out.” We started walking toward the beach. It didn’t need to be said that that was where we would go.

“I guess they did.” I shrugged under his arm and he gave my shoulder a little squeeze. Now that I was here, I wasn’t sure what to say. I mean how did one articulate that they were jealous their best friend had landed an amazing guy without sounding like a jerk?

He cleared his throat. “Did you have feelings for Drew?”

I stopped walking, my mouth hanging open as I stared at him. Which was probably a mistake because he looked amazing in the moonlight. For a second I forgot what I was going to say.

But I shook the confusion off. I’d been doing that a lot. I’d been keeping up the façade of just being Alex’s friend. Because even though he flirted a little, like right now with his arm around me, he didn’t want to date me. He dated older, more sophisticated girls. Not like me. “What? Of course not.” I huffed a little. “I wanted them to get together. I think they are perfect for each other. It’s just that…”

He gave a gentle tug on my shoulder to start us moving again. Probably a good idea. There wasn’t much wind tonight and we’d quickly become mosquito bait if we didn’t move. “It’s just what?” he asked softly, his arm tightening around me.

I shrugged again. Because this is what I did, I shrugged and then I closed up and didn’t share. I just assumed people weren’t that interested but then again, they didn’t really get to know me either. And whatever else I was feeling, I liked having Alex as my friend. Not very many people came rushing to my side in the middle of the night to hear my confession. “I’m just waiting for it to be my turn, you know? When do I get the big romance?”

Alex was quiet as we kept walking, the gravel crunching under our feet the only sound other than the distant ocean. Finally he stopped again. “I hear what you’re saying, Millie. But don’t be in too much of a rush. If you fall too fast or for the wrong person, it can really suck.”

My breath caught. Was he talking about his ex-girlfriend, Tiffani? She’d been everything I wasn’t. Tall, leggy, poised and in charge, Tiffani had been a force. The only thing we had in common was the fact that we both had red hair. She had humiliated him in front of the entire camp last summer. I couldn’t say I knew exactly what that as like. But I did have an inkling. I’d suffered my own mini version of public humiliation at Senior Prom. Or rather, before Senior Prom. “I’m so sorry.” It was on the tip of my tongue to ask who and what had happened but if he wanted to share, he would.

“It’s cool. I’m over it.” He looked down at her then. For a second, his gaze looked pained before his smile was back in place. “Besides, we’re here to talk about you.”

His hand slipped from my shoulder. Disappointment niggled through my belly but then he reached down with both hands and pretended to pick something up. His large hands were maybe six inches apart and brought them up slowly, till they were just over his head, as though were pantomiming putting on a crown.

“Welcome to Madame Cosima’s realm of secrets,” he spoke in a Romanian accent. “If you come with me I can tell you what your future holds.”

“So it wasn’t a crown you were putting on your head?” I giggled a little as he snorted his disapproval.

“Are you making fun of my turban?” He still had the accent. “Be careful, you don’t want an unfortunate accident to befall you.”

I gave a tsk and shoved him. “Are you threatening me as we’re about to walk on a deserted beach?” but the truth was, his antics were making me feel better. He was always goofing around and it put me at ease

“Perhaps just a palm reading then.” We reached the end of the wooded path that led from the cabins to the beach. A thousand million stars sparkled above in a breathtaking display as Alex took my hand in both of his.

For just a moment, I pretended this was something else. That Alex was holding my hand in the moonlight because he liked me and wanted to touch me.

He seemed to pause, both of his large hands holding my smaller one. He turned toward me and I had this feeling, like there was some connection between us. I looked up into his eyes and he stared down at me with an intensity I had never seen before.

My breath caught and I found myself leaning closer to him. “Uh,” he said in his regular voice and then he pulled his head back away from mine.

“What is it?” I asked trying to talk normally but sounding rather breathy.

Flipping my hand over, his fingers trailed along my palm. “I can see by the lines on your palm.” He’d gone back to his Romanian accent. “That love is in your near future.”

I didn’t mean to, but my cheeks heated. I’m not sure why but holding hands with him on a starlit beach while discussing love was more than I could handle without embarrassment. “I’ll keep that in mind, Madame Cosima.” I pulled my hand away from his.

He gave a little chuckle, low and deep. “You didn’t like Madame Cosima’s prediction?”

“It was fine,” I kicked at the sand a little, my gaze looking out onto the black water.

“Good, good,” he said in the fortune teller voice. “That will be twenty dollars please.”

I couldn’t help it. I laughed and my embarrassment seemed to evaporate. “Darn, Madame Cosima. I left all my money in my other bathing suit.” I pretended to pat at my pockets. “Now, what does Alex Gorski want to do now that we’re on the beach?”

Alex slung his arm around me again as we started walking toward the water. The warmth of his skin seeping through my thin t-shirt, making me deliciously warm too despite the cooling air. “Since you’re in a bathing suit, what do you say we go out in the water.”

I shook my head. “I’m not actually in a bathing suit. I was about to go to bed.”

I felt his shoulder lift since I was tucked under his arm. “We can still go. It will be fun.”

I choked on the spit in my mouth. Was he suggesting what I think he was suggesting? I had never even kissed a guy there was no way I was skinny dipping. Not even with Alex.

Coming in the summer of 2018…