Drew

I spent the day waiting for the night. Even though the conversation was going to be an unpleasant one, I was looking forward to being alone with Chloe. Though I made a mental note to keep my hands to myself.

She felt really good, that was part of the problem. Once, I’d touched her, I didn’t want to stop. Of course, there was another tiny fact that got in the way. She hated me. Even if she didn’t, I’d had some experience with Chloe’s type. My last girlfriend had been like Chloe in so many ways. Gorgeous, smart and rich, Sarah had seemed perfect at the beginning. But girls like that didn’t stay interested in guys like me for long. I was good looking, I knew that. And they dug the whole rocker vibe I had going. But that only lasted for so long and they wanted the guy who drove the super fancy car and went on expensive summer vacations. And that wasn’t me.

And I wouldn’t fall into that trap again. Sarah had broken up with me last spring and I hadn’t dated since. I had a music scholarship to a fancy private high school, so rich girls had been my only option. Or, no girls at all and after Sarah, I had chosen the latter. Sarah had taught me well what happened when you dated above your weight. I hadn’t dated at all this past year at UConn. Honestly, I’d been licking my wounds.

“Hey man, ready for dinner?” Alex slapped me on the back and jerked me out of my thoughts.

My eyes focused back in on the room. I’d been sitting on my bed staring off into space. “Yeah, let’s do it.” I got up and waved goodbye to the other two guys we shared our cabin with.

“I think this is going to be an amazing summer.” Alex crowed as he walked. “I’m glad we get to hang out. It’s so different in college.”

“Yeah, it totally is,” I agreed. I had tried to find a new band at UConn but it hadn’t been successful. The guys I’d shared my quad with had been all right, but they were kind of dicks. Alex had been a real friend to me. Hooking me up with this job and everything. I was glad to get to hang out with him. “I am so glad that we’re both gonna be in Boston next year.”

“Me too,” Alex pumped his fist in the air. “You’ll like my BU friends. They’re good guys.”

I nodded, giving a little smile. Alex picked up friends everywhere he went. He was enthusiastic and extroverted. I envied him a little. “I’m sure they’re great.”

“So,” Alex drew out the word. “What’s going on with you and Chloe?”

“Dude, nothing.” I gave him a look. It wasn’t true. At least not on my end. I knew now, after having touched her, that I had some feelings for her. But I was on a mission to be her friend and that included helping her where she wanted it most. “I can’t believe I have to tell you this, but…” I let out a long breath that came out almost as a growl. “She likes you.”

“Me?” Alex made his confused face. “Is that why she was always bouncing around me like a puppy?”

I chuckled. Because that was exactly how Alex always looked around just about everyone. “Yeah, man.” I ran my hands through my hair. This was harder than I thought it would be. “You ought to just talk to her and see if you like her back. ‘Cause I don’t think I can watch her crush on you from afar for another summer.” That part was totally and completely true.

Alex stopped walking. “Why not?”

I raised my eyebrows as if this part should be obvious. “It’s painful to watch.”

Alex returned the gesture. “Yeah, but why?”

I blinked, was Alex Gorski actually suggesting that I examine my feelings? I don’t know, man. Because she gets so annoying--” I stopped myself. I wasn’t falling back on that again. I’d been a jerk to do it last summer. I’d blamed her for my bad behavior and that wasn’t cool. “That’s not true. She’s nice, I guess. And she looks crushed when you don’t notice her.”

“Huh,” Alex scratched his head. “I guess I didn’t think of her like that. She’s super cute but…” his voice trailed off. “I’ll talk to her at dinner tonight, maybe and then, I don’t know, see if I like her, I guess. She’s really fun and all, I just…” He cleared his throat. “I thought of her more like a sister or a buddy or something.”

I relaxed at those words. Why did it make me feel better that Alex didn’t have feelings for Chloe? I shoved my hands in my pockets, knowing the answer. “You two are a lot alike.”

Alex shrugged. “I guess. She’s a girl so that makes us pretty different.”

I tried not to roll my eyes. “Okay, Captain Obvious.”

Alex punched me in the arm. “Whatever, Slicer.” I gave a little grimace. It was a nickname I’d gotten in high school. I’d always been defensive about not having as much money as the other kids and whenever they’d come at me, I’d use a barb or some sharp-tongued comment to put them in their place. But it had become a habit when I got uncomfortable.

We entered the cafeteria and I spotted Chloe right away. Actually Alex caught sight of Millie’s hair first. Its bright red color easy to find.

Grabbing trays, we loaded up and headed over to the girls. “Mind if we sit?” Alex asked.

I watched Chloe’s eyes widen as she sucked in a little breath and I tried not to wince. Did she have to be so excited? She gestured at the seat next to her and Alex plunked down. The other side of the table was full and so I slid into the seat on the other side of Millie. Alex had already launched into a story about a camper who couldn’t get out of a bathroom stall. How that kid could talk and eat like that, I’d never know.

I watched as Chloe nodded along with the story, eating her salad and adding all the proper “Mmhmms,” as Alex talked.

Luckily they were engrossed because I couldn’t hold back my look of disgust any longer.

“You all right?” Millie’s soft voice pulled me from my thoughts. Her eyebrows were raised but her smile was soft, if not a little pained. “I know camp food isn’t the best but I didn’t think tonight’s dinner was that bad.”

I relaxed my face, appreciating the fact that Millie had given me an out. And a chance to do something other than stare at Alex and Chloe. I looked down, realizing I hadn’t taken a single bite. “Looks pretty good, actually.” I returned Millie’s smile. “At home, I mostly cook for myself so this is nice.”

Her eyes widened. “I wish my mom would let me cook. She’s convinced I’d burn the house down.”

How had I not realized how nice Millie was? “Seriously? I’ve seen you with a glue gun. Totally trustworthy.”

She laughed then and I joined in, glad for the distraction. It was nice to chat with her without any pretense or history. Without the worry that I was saying the wrong thing.

Once our laugher subsided, I finally took a bite of my food, only to realize that two other sets of eyes were now staring at me and Millie. Alex and Chloe seemed far more concerned with what we were talking about.

“What’s so funny?” Alex asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

“Nothing,” Millie turned toward Alex and away from me.

Chloe leaned back and made eye contact with me over Millie’s shoulder. “How was your first day as music director?”

I winked. “I managed to avoid singing ‘Camp Winni’ so I’d say it was a win.”

She giggled. “You are awful.”

“How was your day?” I asked.

“Good,” she leaned in closer, her mouth turning down a little. “I’ll be glad to get to a regular schedule tomorrow. Giving tours was exhausting.”

Concern rippled through me. Much as I needed help, I didn’t want to make her life harder. “Are you still up for hanging out tonight?”

“I thought you needed to learn some music.” She was practically leaning over Millie’s back and I found myself edging closer. Poor Millie must be regretting her seat between us now.

I gave a half shrug. “Not if it will wear you out. It could wait till tomorrow.”

She gave her head a soft shake and a few more tendrils of hair fell about her face. I had the urge to tuck a piece behind her ear. “I’ll be all right. Besides you have to get cracking on your ‘Camp Winni’ rehearsal.”

It was an inside joke and, in that moment, I loved it. It was private and all our own. My fingers reached for hers, wanting to touch her but Alex’s voice interrupted the moment as he loudly called, “Chloe, I didn’t finish telling you about the kid in the toilet.”

Irritation rippled through me. Chloe and I had been having a moment. At least I’d have her to myself tonight.

“Oh yeah,” she said but I could have sworn that I saw her lips turn down before she turned back to Alex. Anticipation and hope coursed through me. Tonight was our turn to hang out.

* * *

Chloe

Something was wrong. I’d been waiting for this semi-private conversation with Alex for a year. An actual year. And now that I was here in the moment, well, I wasn’t so sure. Alex’s boyish smile was still there, and he looked as cute as ever, but he talked all the time. I mean all…the…time.

How had I not noticed that he never ceased moving his mouth? And people called me chatty. I didn’t hold a candle to him.

I was forced into the role of listener and honestly, it wasn’t my favorite. Not that I couldn’t listen. I was a good friend. But I liked to talk too. At least a little bit.

And then there was the fact that we weren’t actually discussing anything. There were no feelings, no insights. And maybe that was normal for a first conversation, but I’d built this moment up in my head and now we were discussing a ten year old on a toilet. Besides being gross, and filling my head with the least attractive images I could imagine, it made me wonder what kind of boyfriend Alex would actually be. I mean was this ‘ask a girl out’ material?

I couldn’t help but think back to my conversation with Drew today. It couldn’t have been more opposite to the one I was having now. We’d discussed our past, shared actual emotions. Which was so strange in its own way. He was the guy who’d named me Alka Seltzer. Now, instead of annoying and snarky, he was soulful. And Alex, instead of charming, was immature. Could this day get any more confusing?

Sighing I continued to nod as Alex talked. I looked over at Millie again to see her and Drew talking softly. I bet they were discussing something interesting, thoughtful, and probably emotional. I had the distinct urge to tweak my best friend’s hair. Oh My God, was I jealous? Jealous of Millie and Drew McCabe?

The cafeteria started to empty and it was now time for counselors to make sure all students were tucked into their cabins for the night. Then, night duty would begin for Millie and Alex, both on the night crew.

As I stood to take my tray up to the trash, I felt a hand at my back. “Meet me on the beach at nine.” Drew whispered in my ear. He’d risen too and his body was close to mine as he leaned over to convey his message.

Anticipation sizzled along my skin as I answered, “Okay.”

The next hour and a half dragged as I got the campers settled in their cabins. Millie had this time off and we would switch places at eight o clock. Basically, campers weren’t allowed to leave their cabins after that. When I saw Millie coming at seven fifty seven I went skipping down the path to meet my friend, though Millie wasn’t the reason I as skipping. I was actually kind of excited to hang with Drew. “Good luck tonight,” I called as I passed her.

“Where are you going?” Millie stopped to stare.

I blushed. I’d forgotten to tell Millie about my beach date. Not that it was a date exactly but meeting sounded odd. Maybe hangout? Tutoring session? “Drew asked me to help him with a couple of songs.”

Millie’s mouth fell open. “You’re going to help him? Seriously? Not that I’m judging, but I thought you hated him.”

I gave a small shrug. “I thought I did too. But he seems…”

“Different. Nicer.” Millie filled in. “For sure.”

I took a breath. “I hope so or else I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot. You’re a nice person. I know you and Drew clashed last year but it wasn’t all his fault--”

“We clashed?” I raised my eyebrows, bobbing on my heels a little. “Who else’s fault was it?”

Even in the dark, I could see Millie’s cheeks get pink. “Yeah, you know what I mean.”

I shrugged. “I’m not sure I do.” But I kind of did. He’d made me angry and so every time he was around, I kind of amped it up just to annoy him. Like it was a game. Like we were circling each other or something. The weird thing was, I still kind of felt that but it was different. There was always tension between us but now we weren’t fighting, we were just… honestly, I wasn’t sure what we were.

Millie stepped a little closer and licked her lips. “I don’t want to be a jerk but think about it, Okay? ‘Cause you and Drew could be--” she stopped.

“Could be what?” I asked.

She nibbled on her lip. “At the very least, friends.”

Friends. It sounded… unsatisfying. And what did she mean by at the very least? Did she also think there might be more between us? I said goodbye to Millie and made my way down to the beach.

He was easy to pick out, though a bunch of the other counselors were hanging out there too. I knew the counselors spent a lot of their evenings down by the water, but it seemed like everyone who wasn’t working was there. No wonder counselors only dated other counselors. Would I date someone this summer? I tried to picture me and Alex down her but it didn’t quite mesh in my head.

Drew sat on the sand with a blanket spread out under him, moonlight shining down on him as he slowly strummed a guitar. He looked hot. Not in the he was sweating kind of way. More the he was so sexy I wanted to touch him kind of way.

“Wow,” I said as I came up to him. “When did you go acoustic?”

He gave me that grin. The one I hadn’t seen until today but I was starting to love. “This past year. Without a band I had some extra time on my hands to teach myself. It’s different from the electric guitar but I’ve really enjoyed it. The upside to being ousted, I guess.”

“Wait,” I said. “You didn’t have a band?”

He patted the blanket next to him and I sat down. “Yeah, after they dropped me last summer, I thought they might pick me up in the fall so I told everyone it was just a little break. But they didn’t want me back and I didn’t find a new band either. I tried out for a few but no one was the right fit.”

“Huh?” It was a dumb thing to say. I knew it was. But I was honestly stumped. That was Drew’s whole thing. “You love being in a band.” It was all he talked about last summer.

He scratched his head. “I did. I didn’t have enough cash for college so Alex hooked me up with this gig. But my band, they weren’t off to higher education, they wanted to go on tour.” He picked at a spot on the blanket. “I almost went with them but I’d promised my dad I wouldn’t. That I would go to college and make a life he never head. So I came here instead. For a while, especially last summer, thinking of them all off together, I was really bitter.”

It must have been so tough to lose his band. “That is awful.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, it really sucked. They dropped me pretty quick like I didn’t even matter, you know? And I’d put so much into that band. It wasn’t fair, but I decided I hated it here. Like this place was somehow to blame.” He looked up at me then and his eyes seem to catch the moonlight, looking both deep and sparkly.

“I would have hated it too.” My heart started beating in my chest because this was the emotion I’d been searching for. A deeper connection that came from sharing with one another. This time, I didn’t mind listening. In fact, I wouldn’t be anywhere else, wouldn’t be doing anything else.

“It didn’t give me the right to be mean to you.” He reached out his hand and lightly touched mine. He didn’t even hold it, just brushed his fingertips across my knuckles. “I’m sorry I was such a jerk. I was angry that I was here and you were so happy about everything Camp Winni. I used you as a scapegoat. It wasn’t fair and I hope you can forgive me.”

I swallowed hard, my own confession bubbling to the surface. “I have to apologize too. I was talking with Millie and I realized that I might have egged you on. I hated that nickname and I wanted to make you mad. I kind of amped it up whenever you were around.”

I’m not sure what I expected but his bark of laughter wasn’t it. “Are you saying you were goading me on? That you were even bubblier because it irritated me?”

I shrugged, heat creeping into my cheeks. “I might have. I’m not always great at direct confrontation.”

“Wow, I’ve never seen this side of you. I like you so much more now.” He laughed again and then I laughed too. Our heads were bowed together as we sat side by side.

“Can I tell you something else?” I couldn’t share with him that I felt this vibe between us that I didn’t understand. I’m not sure why, but I wasn’t ready to probe into it.

“Go for it.” He leaned back, his elbow in the sand, his guitar stretched across his midsection. My words stuck in my throat, he took my breath away.

Swallowing, I gave myself a mental shake to unstick my brain. “I like you too.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “Does that mean we’re friends?”

I giggled. Part of me couldn’t believe that I was having this conversation with Drew. I’d wanted to talk like this with Alex. I mean not the we’re friends part but the whole sharing our past experiences and gaining a deeper knowledge of each other. Somehow, after getting to know Alex a bit more, I didn’t see it happening. But tonight with Drew had been pretty cool. Maybe I had underestimated him. “I guess it does.”

“Well, in that case, can I ask my friend to sing ‘Camp Winni’ with me? I’ve learned it on the guitar but I haven’t actually sang it. Ever.”

“Of course, we can start there.” I scrambled up on my knees. “But how can you be a ‘Camp Winni’ virgin after an entire summer here?”

He shrugged, looking at the blanket again. “I am good at being a loner, I guess.”

It was honest and it made me want to help him even more than I already had. “Let’s whisper sing it first. That way no one will hear us and you won’t have to feel embarrassed…” I dropped my voice low. “About being a joiner.”

Drew leaned in closer to me, dropping his voice down to a whisper too. The intimacy of the moment had me breathing faster. I could smell the fresh scent of his soap mixed with the salt and fresh night air. “Perish the thought.”

I blinked several times. We were so close that my fingers itched to reach out and stroke his cheek. Feel his face. Was it smooth or scratchy? I lifted my hand, tempted to brush my thumb along his lips. Were they as soft as they looked? I gave myself a shake. Why did I want to touch, Drew McCabe?