CHAPTER ONE
Sebastian
The room was little more than a broom closet and completely unfit to make-out with the future queen in, but Sebastian didn’t care. Luckily, the ancient palace was full of hidden places and twisted corridors so they could escape from their everyday duties and steal a few moments alone. They weren’t supposed to. They weren’t married yet. The old Queen was a stickler about archaic ‘dating’ rules. She annoyed Seb beyond belief. But she was Alix’s grandmother and he had to respect her simply because he adored Alix.
“God, it feels so good just being close to you,” Alix said, sighing contentedly, then kissing his mouth.
“Why don’t you sneak out tonight and come to my apartment?” Seb suggested. “No one has to know where you spend the night.”
“Don’t you think the dozen or so people surrounding me constantly would notice my disappearance for an entire night?” She giggled. “I love that you want me so much you are willing to risk the Queen’s wrath, though.”
Although Alix hated most of the rules and court etiquette, she was well aware she was the future queen and had to set a good example. She’d told him several times that she’d prefer to live the life of an ordinary girl with all the freedoms that would bring. Still, she’d never cause a scandal because it would hurt her grandma, Queen Sophia.
Seb couldn’t understand where Alix’s love and loyalty for the Queen came from. All he could see was a prudish old hag who’d been on his case ever since he’d arrived to the palace months before. The Queen didn’t approve of him because he was American, not an aristocrat, too frank, not frank enough, a man, too old at thirty to still be single, not mature enough for Alix. The list was never-ending and her reproaches and comments (because the Queen did not complain, she merely commented and suggested) annoyed him to no end. But he put up with it for Alix’s sake. If it meant he could marry her, he’d be best friends with a dragon.
“Isn’t it ridiculous that we’re grown-up and we have to hide like this?” he said. “I feel like a hormone-ridden teenager again.”
His apartment and the princess’s quarters at the palace were on opposite ends of the enormous building. And despite them being engaged, the etiquette didn’t allow for them to spend time together without chaperones being present, much less spend the night in the same bed. But etiquette couldn’t quench his overwhelming need to constantly touch, kiss and hug Alix. To hell with rules. He wanted to feel her up and hear her breathlessness when he kissed her silly. He wanted her to moan his name and bite his lip. He wanted so much that he was starting to lose his mind.
“It’s romantic, too, though. Don’t you think?” Alix said but then fell silent when heavy footsteps went past the door outside.
Alix’s hand under his shirt made him not care whether it was romantic or just plain awkward. He pushed her up against the wall and regretted the dim lighting because he couldn’t see her eyes go all feverish. He wanted to make love to her right then and there. It’d been almost a week since they last managed to escape to another such room and make love on the carpet in front of a fire place that Alix had expertly lit. A week without making love to Alix was much too long.
“Seb,” Alix whispered.
“Mhm?” He nuzzled her neck, his hands roaming down her backside and hips.
“Seb, we must stop.”
When he groaned frustrated, she laughed.
“Why must we stop?” he asked, not caring that he sounded like a petulant ten-year-old.
“Remember that meeting with the legal advisors? It’s in about half an hour. It wouldn’t do to show up with a hickey and swollen lips from making out as though we were hormone-driven teenagers.”
He knew she was right if he wanted to gain the Queen’s respect. Although he would probably never get it, no matter how much he sacrificed for it. So maybe it was pointless to try so hard to win her over. Maybe it would be best to stay here with Alix … Her lips were so soft and tempting. And her body … Mmm.
Damn. “You’re right. But only because meeting with them will allow me to marry you.” He kissed her mouth once again slowly, gently. “And once we’re married … no one will stop me from dragging you to my bed and keeping you there for as long as I want.”
Her soft laughter tickled his heart. “I think the Queen would consider that an abduction of the future queen and would have you banished from the country,” she said, amusement ringing in her voice.
“Then I’ll just wait till you’re queen.”
“I’ll have so many duties then I probably won’t see you for days on end.”
She was teasing him, so he tried to stifle his worry. “Are you trying to get me not to marry you?”
She gazed up at him and her eyes glinted in the dimness. She caressed his cheek and said, “I love you, Sebastian. You know I’ll make time to be with you, queen or not.”
He tried to hide his relief and not look too lovesick. “I know.”
****
Seb had almost forgotten about the meeting with Alix and the Queen’s legal advisors. Preparations for the royal wedding had taken up most of his time. He hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in days, possibly weeks. His newly appointed butler Jerome was ashen-faced with worry that he wouldn’t manage to instill all the royal etiquette in Seb’s head by the time he would stand waiting for his princess at the altar. Seb would probably worry too if he weren’t so in love with Alix that his crazy feelings trumped all anxiety. Still, it was worth minding his step because the mean old queen had the power to chuck him on his butt out the palace door. A commoner, she’d called him as if he were dirt.
He was still buttoning up his jacket as he reached the palace library door. He knocked and when he recognized the Queen’s voice inviting him to enter, his chest squeezed. He hadn’t realized the Queen would be present too.
A little less poised, he pushed the door open and was struck by how much the scene in front of him resembled a corporate meeting at his old job. Except for the regal environment of the centuries old palace. And the gorgeous brunette sitting at the end of the long desk, winking at him.
The Queen frowned when she caught him wink back at Alix. God, would she ever lighten up? Couldn’t she understand that Alixandra was not just future queen but also his future wife? Like, he had the right to wink at his wife, right? Jesus.
“Good of you to join us,” a grey, desiccated man said. He sat next to Alixandra, with two more suits on his other side and the Queen standing next to the desk like a Doric column.
“Of course,” Seb murmured and bowed slightly, just as Jerome had instructed. Seb glanced around but saw no chair ready for him. He would have to stand? He was certain this was another ploy of the Queen’s to humiliate him. Oh, well.
One of the other two men now spoke in a lulling drone that had Seb struggling to keep his tired eyes open. “As you all know, we are gathered here to read the provisions of the prenuptial agreement between Her Highness, Princess Alixandra Marie Charlotte of Norrone and Mr. Sebastian Joseph Stratford of … Chicago.” The man looked dubiously at him and Seb was tempted to roll his eyes. So what if he didn’t own a country? His billionaire family could easily buy one but he preferred to invest the money in creating new jobs. Not that he had much say anymore since he’d had to give up his CEO position in one of the family companies.
The man returned to the papers and started reading again. Seb already knew what was in there. Alix had told him about the share of her fortune he would get if they divorced and he couldn’t care less about it. He wasn’t in it for the money. In fact, he’d be pretty happy to let the Queen take all the money and the royal duties so Alix would be free to do what she wished. But that was not how it worked. So he stood patiently listening to the details of the prenup for almost half an hour. When the royal family had six hundred years of history, there were many items to cover. From the thinning pile of papers in front of the lawyer, Seb supposed they were nearing the end. He’d pretty much zoned out, thinking about honeymoon with Alix, until the tedious voice brought him back to the present all of a sudden.
“In case of a separation or divorce, the child or children conceived during this marriage shall remain in the care of the royal household in order to continue receiving proper education and training for their future roles in the royal family.”
This, they hadn’t talked about. Seb’s eyes flew to Alix. She smiled but when she noticed his perplexed expression, a thin line formed between her eyes and her lips parted as if she was about to say something.
“Is there a problem, Mr. Stratford?” the old man asked. The lawyer who’d been interrupted blinked at Seb as if he’d just woken from sleep.
“We’ve discussed the money matters prior to this meeting,” Seb said, staring at the men, too afraid to glance at the Queen or even Alix. “But we haven’t talked about any of this.” He waved his hand to indicate the recently read provisions.
“That would be because these articles are set and cannot be changed,” the old man said, patiently and not unkindly. “You must understand the care the royal family must take of their heirs.”
“But these would be my children too. How about shared custody? Not that I plan to divorce you.” He smiled at Alix but her pinched expression didn’t reassure him. Had she known about this? Was that why she hadn’t mentioned it because she knew the rules were fixed?
Of course she had known it. But how could she allow it? This was supposed to be a union of love, mutual understanding and agreement. Letting his children be raised by surly tutors and governesses was against everything he believed in. He’d been raised by his parents. Busy as they had been, they always found the time for him and Jarrod. Nothing could replace parental love, no royal coaches or even the Queen herself. So how could Alix demand of him to sign this?
“So I’m just a means to gain an heir and to hell with me afterwards?” Seb’s words were clipped with anger and he could feel the heat rise to his cheeks. The tie was suffocating him, the suit as uncomfortable as if he’d worn someone else’s skin.
“Mr. Stratford!” The Queen’s level, cold tone was lethal. Her blue eyes pierced him with disapproval and warning.
“Your Highness, with all due respect,” he bowed to the Queen, “but this is my future family we are discussing here.”
The sound of the three lawyers’ gasps was the only thing that interrupted the deathly stillness of the library.
“No, Mr. Stratford,” the Queen said coolly, “this is my family we are discussing here.”
Seb opened his mouth to protest and then he shut it with an audible snap. Alix had explained it to him time and again that the rules which applied to the royal family were quite different to the rules which applied to the rest of the world. He wasn’t daft. He didn’t want to question the Queen’s authority, but he had rights too. And he be damned if he would let a bunch of medieval lawyers trample them.
“Can we have a word in private?” he asked Alix, begging her with his eyes.
Obviously embarrassed, she glanced at the Queen first and apparently they exchanged a message that Seb couldn’t see because then Alix nodded at the three men and they started to get up. They were so nauseatingly well-bred they didn’t even let the chairs scrape on the hardwood floor as they pushed them back to stand. They filed out the door and closed it. Just as Seb thought the Queen would insist on staying, she moved.
Her icy eyes measured him with an unreadable expression as she stopped in front of him. She probably had bones of steel and ice in her veins. He’d ascertained she had no heart when he first met her and she told Alix to stop the nonsense and drop him. As if he was a poorly chosen accessory or a garish tiara.
“Two minutes, Mr. Stratford. There are things to be done if you are to be married tomorrow. We are on a tight schedule.”
“Yes, Your Highness.” He realized he had no problem bowing to her. He was at least spared the chill of her gaze.
It was after the doors closed behind the Queen that Seb felt real apprehension settle in his stomach. He gazed at the woman he loved like no other and she stared back with a hint of her grandmother in her blue eyes. Less icy but just as unyielding.
“Alix? Did you know about this?”
Her silence was answer enough. But then she dropped her gaze, and nodded, slowly.
“You didn’t tell me because you hoped I wouldn’t pay attention and I would just sign whatever the hell those musty old pricks pushed under my nose.” His voice trembled with suppressed anger. “Right?”
Her fingers played with the buttons on her jacket sleeve. The designer skirt and tailored jacket were nothing like the cut-off jeans and cropped top she had worn when they first met. But her poise, her regal posture and her beauty were without a doubt the same.
At last, she said, “It’s not something I, or even the Queen, can change. This is regulated by laws and it takes years to change them even if we had enough voices in the parliament. It’s complicated, Seb, but it’s just a paper.”
He walked to the desk, leaning onto it so he could look in her eyes. “It’s a paper that decides the fate of my children.” He wasn’t trying to pressure her into anything but he needed her to see how unfair this was.
“If we divorce. Which we won’t.”
At least they agreed on something.
“You still can’t treat me like I have no rights,” he insisted.
Alix stood up and rounded the table so she was right in front of him. Her hands on his chest made him want to shed the suit and shirt and solve this in a far more pleasurable way.
“It’s the way things are done in these situations, Seb.” This time she sounded less imploring and more stubborn.
“No, Alix, it’s the way you royals do things because you think you can wield your power any way you like.” The absurdity of having to debate the fate of his yet-unborn children in case of a divorce on the day before the actual wedding was getting to him.
Alix sighed as if she too was starting to lose her patience. “Seb.” She caressed his cheek and that seemed the only sane, happy thing right now—the feel of her skin on his. But it wasn’t enough.
“Admit it,” he said. “It’s just about power.” If he were honest, he was taunting her because he wanted to make her feel as helpless as he felt.
She looked him in the eye, her forehead lined, and eyes darker with anger. “Is it really?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’m thinking it bothers you that you have no say in it. That a woman gets a better deal.”
Seb spluttered. “What? It’s not about that at all. It’s about our children, for fuck’s sake. I want to decide about their upbringing. I want to be part of their lives, even if … something totally crazy happens and we divorce. I want to be part of this family and I won’t let that old hag just throw me to the side as if I don’t matter at all.”
“She’s my grandma and the Queen, not an old hag.” Alix’s eyes glimmered with warning.
“Well, she’s been treating me like shit and I’m supposed to be your future husband. When she shows me some respect, I’ll show her all the respect she deserves.”
“Supposed to be? So you’re now questioning our wedding?” She frowned and an expression flitted across her face that looked almost like fear. He didn’t want to hurt her but she needed to see how he felt.
“Perhaps I am, Alix. I’ve done everything you asked of me, everything the protocol demanded of me, everything the freaking butler demanded of me. But you won’t even consider changing the prenup that doesn’t affect just me but our children too? That’s hardly an equal union, is it?”
Breathing hard and feeling slightly dizzy, he stormed out the door, nearly toppling the Queen standing just behind it. He paused long enough to bow to her to show her he knew she was eavesdropping, before he practically ran down the endless hallway and up the stairs to his room.
Where the fuck had things gone so wrong? He’d moved continents for this woman, gave up his career for her, learned French and to come to this. He couldn’t stand it. There was a dull pain in his chest and he felt the need to yell or break something. But he just slammed the door behind him and then smashed his fist against the wall. The bloody thing was solid and the impact rattled his bones. Something in his hand gave way with a sickening crunch.
Too distraught to care about the physical pain, he paced and tried to gather his thoughts. But the mix of anger, disappointment, hurt and just plain longing was too complex and confusing.
He poured himself a glass of sherry. The palace, or at least his quarters, were beginning to feel like home. He’d been here for five months. If he thought of all the lessons and coaching he’d gone through, it felt more like a decade, but if he remembered the sweet, stolen moments with Alix, it was far too short. He wanted a lifetime with her. Every moment away from her was wasted. But could he forget his own principles to be with her? Could he go through with this wedding, knowing what the prenup robbed him of?
Couldn’t life be simpler? He groaned as he lowered himself onto the sofa, exhausted, and dropped his head into his hands. What would he do if the wedding was off? What if it wasn’t?
He sprang up, unable to sit still and rummaged in the desk drawer for his keys. He still had his rented car, parked in town, without the Queen’s knowledge. He’d snuck out of the palace for secret rendezvous with Alix away from her guards and grandmother.
He’d memorized the way to the staff stairway by now, which was quite a feat with the palace having four hundred rooms and probably several miles of stairs and hallways. Once out the service gate at the back of the palace, he ran down the sidewalk and didn’t stop until he reached the town center half an hour later.
Relieved that his car was still there, despite it being abandoned for weeks, he unlocked it and climbed in. He breathed the smell of freedom before he turned the key in the ignition and backed out of the parking space. He didn’t know where he was going, he just started driving. He kept going until he thought he recognized a crossroads. On a whim, he turned down the narrow road and as he passed a stone cross, he remembered being here on one of his first visits. Alix drove them down this road. They parked on top of the cliff and then climbed down to a small bay with sandy beach. He’d been terrified of falling then thrilled at having the secluded spot for themselves. They’d made love in the waves. He thought he couldn't love her more. But that was before he really got to know her, before he understood just how deep his love for her could be. It was like a force of nature, unbridled and scary because of how little control over it he had. But that was the Alix effect.
****
Seb and his brother Jarrod had been celebrating a successful new deal for the family company by flying to Florida for a surfing holiday. Jarrod’s then girlfriend Maya went with them, and at times, Seb felt like a third wheel. One evening, Maya stayed back at the hotel because of a headache. Jarrod wanted to stay with her, but Seb begged him to be his wingman and Maya wanted peace, so in the end Jarrod agreed to go with him.
The first two evenings at the Sand Bar on the beach, Seb had spotted a pair of blonde girls who sounded like New Yorkers. He hoped to see them again tonight and to make a move on the shorter, cuter one. But his plans went awry just twenty minutes after their arrival to the beach bar.
She walked past their table with her head held high if her grasp on the serving tray was a bit wobbly. Perhaps that was why he hadn’t seen her before—she was new on the job. Her rich brown hair was tied in a loose but stylish bun on top of her head, her smile was radiant.
As her hips swayed just inches past his eye level, he nearly choked on a sip of beer. Coughing to clear his throat his gaze followed her as she delivered the drinks to a table of loud foreigners. He didn’t understand their exclamations but she seemed to take it all in her stride as she grinned at the guys and girls.
“Did you see that?” Seb turned to Jarrod.
“What?” Jarrod’s hair had always been several shades lighter than Seb’s but the sea and sun of the past couple of days had practically bleached it.
“That girl.” Seb pointed over his shoulder but when he looked back he couldn’t see her anywhere, he’d lost her in the crowd.
“What girl?” Jarrod frowned. Seb could tell from his expression he was only asking to get him off his back. Jarrod only had eyes for Maya for the past three years and now with an engagement, it appeared it would be that way forever.
Seb searched for her behind the bar and amidst the tables. “She was this absolutely gorgeous brunette. Shaped like a goddess and with a supermodel’s face. I’ve never seen more perfect lips. Full and juicy and just slightly turned up in the corners. I could just …”
“Dude,” Jarrod protested.
Seb looked at him. “Sorry. She was just …”
“She must’ve been something alright,” Jarrod chuckled. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Seb wondered if it wasn’t an overreaction to feel insulted at Jarrod’s all too familiar mocking. After all, they’d been through this every time Seb set his sights on a pretty girl. But this one wasn’t just pretty. There was something about her that took his breath away in a way that had never happened before. “No, not a ghost. I just saw the future mother of my kids.”
Jarrod choked on his beer, spluttering and coughing through his amusement. When his guffaws settled, Seb insisted, “I’m serious, man.”
“You’re always serious. For about a minute or so.”
He’d prove it to him if only he could find the girl again. There was still no sign of her behind the bar or anywhere else.
“I’ve heard you say it so many times before, I’d be an idiot to take you seriously.” Jarrod watched him with a pensive expression on his face. “Don’t you think you’re old enough you could at least try to keep a relationship for longer than three weeks?” Jarrod sounded more serious than sardonic, which took Seb by surprise. Jarrod had never interfered in his private life, more like he avoided knowing anything about it as if Seb’s womanizing ways would taint him or something.
Seb knew it would be pointless repeating he was serious this time when he didn’t even know the woman. He also refused to think about how his affluent family would look on him having a serious relationship with a waitress. First, he needed to find the girl.
“Is that her?” Jarrod asked, staring over Seb’s shoulder.
She was walking in his direction, no tray in her hands this time. The group of youngsters she’d served earlier were right behind her.
“Excuse me, miss?” Seb raised his hand, but at first she didn’t notice him. When her eyes spotted him, a mix of confusion and interest crossed her beautiful, tanned face. Her eyes were the deepest blue he’d ever seen.
“Could we get another round of beers, please?” He pointed at his and Jarrod’s empty bottles, noticing Jarrod’s quizzical gaze.
“Pardon?”
She pronounced the word oddly but her expression was still pleasant, almost amused. She glanced over her shoulder at the foreign group. This close, he could tell they were speaking French and it seemed as though she spoke French too as she grinned at one of their comments.
“Two more beers?” he tried again.
One of the guys, a tall, blond jock, laughed. “He thinks you’re a waitress.”
His English was perfect, except for the French accent. There was something else wrong there. He had spoken to the girl in the cut-off jeans who was now watching Seb, amused. Her lips quirked up, her eyes danced with quiet laughter.
“I am so sorry.” Seb got up from his chair. “I didn’t mean it as an insult. I saw you carry a tray earlier … I just presumed … I apologize.”
She tilted her head to the side, ignoring the scoffing comments from the others who Seb realized were her group of friends not patrons of the bar.
“Apology accepted,” she said, at last, her manner refined and elegant.
She turned to leave. Desperate to stop her, to speak with her if only a minute longer, Seb blurted, “Will you go out with me?”
More taunting followed, a loud “Woo-hoo” which had the other patrons turning their way, and a gasp which must have come from Jarrod. But Seb ignored everything except her. He only saw the girl and how her eyes didn’t darken with rejection. “Please,” he said.
“You want to go out with me?” She sounded incredulous as if she couldn’t believe it. She looked like a girl who got asked on a date every time she was out in public. But maybe she had a boyfriend.
“If you’re free. I’m Sebastian, by the way.”
He offered her his hand and she observed it for a moment before grasping it in hers. Soft skin, firm grasp. “Nice to meet you, Sebastian. I’m Alix.”
“Alix. What a lovely name. Worthy of a princess.” He was only half joking. Everything about this woman was perfect.
The group erupted in loud cheers and laughter. They were starting to get on Seb’s nerves. What was their problem?
Alix grinned at him. Her hand was still in his and the fact that she didn’t try pulling it away made his heart stutter. “See you,” she said with her smooth, soft voice and French accent.
Seb brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, helplessly smitten with this foreign beauty. He couldn’t believe she might leave before he even got to know her. He had to believe she was staying a few more days at least, he didn’t let himself despair. “I’ll see you.”
This time, when she smiled, it was a sweet smile which made her eyes glimmer.
He spent four hours at the beach bar the next evening, waiting for her to show up. In the end, accompanied by Jarrod’s ridicule and Maya’s compassion, he returned to his hotel feeling more dejected than when his longest relationship had broken up. It wasn’t that he didn’t get to see Alix, what threw him for a loop was his visceral reaction to her. If he were a more spiritual man, he’d think he’d loved her from a previous life. As it was, he was completely whipped. None of it made sense.
After the failed attempt at seeing her again, he looked forward to leaving in two days. It was enough of this nonsense. He didn’t have time to fall head over heels for some foreign chick when his father expected him to take over the family’s business empire. It was one thing to reason with himself during the day. He had little control, however, when Alix’s smiling face cropped up in his dreams and he woke up out of sorts. It didn’t help that Jarrod kept teasing him about it.
“Shove it, Jarr,” he snapped over lunch.
Jarrod opened his mouth for no doubt another insensitive joke, but Maya sent him a warning look. Seb was grateful. Maya’s opinion of his personal life was evidenced by how she pressed her lips tightly together whenever his love life was talked about, but she at least never commented on it.
Lacking the energy to go for one last surf, he spent his afternoon packing for the early flight the next day. Maya and Jarrod were lounging by the pool when Seb left the hotel. He didn’t plan on going to Sand Bar, but he ended up there anyway.
The three beers made him melancholy. Perhaps Jarrod was right and it was time he grew up. After all, he was thirty. When he watched Jarrod, this growing-up business seemed so natural and effortless, even though Jarrod was three years his junior. Jarrod had changed into a responsible adult seamlessly when it seemed Seb couldn’t do it without regretting the loss of freedom and frivolity of his younger days. They used to have fun together, pranking friends, partying, taking advantage of their family’s money and status. Then one day, Seb realized Jarrod no longer took part in these exploits, and he couldn’t tell the exact moment when it had happened. Jarrod just grew out of it.
“A penny for your thoughts.”
Seb jerked around, not at the words but at that soft voice and the French ‘r’. His heartbeat sped up.
“It’s you,” he blurted. He scanned the bar for her group of friends but he couldn’t hear any loud laughter and French joking. She seemed to be on her own.
“May I join you?” she asked, but she had already pulled out a chair from the table and dropped down with the effortless elegance Seb associated with French women. How could a culture affect the way people moved?
A waitress walked up and Seb could see how foolish it was of him to mistake Alix for a waitress the other day. The girl who took her order now had none of Alix’s grace. Despite Alix wearing a sporty halter top and a pair of striped shorts, there was something polished about her, something which suggested a good, even the best, up-bringing and a level of sophistication he’d never seen in any of his previous girlfriends—lawyers and doctors among them.
She watched him with that amused half-smile that drove him crazy. It seemed to suggest she knew something he didn’t. He wanted in on the secret. Desperately so.
“No friends this time?” he asked, hoping they wouldn’t suddenly appear and ruin his chances with her again.
“I wanted to see you alone. They can get too loud sometimes.” She pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. Her tresses flowed down past her tanned shoulders and were peppered with salt crystals. Seb longed to see her in a bikini, her skin glistening with water droplets.
“So you’re here on vacation with your friends?” he asked in an attempt to stop his imagination from going too wild with the image of her in a bathing suit.
She sort of nodded, sort of shrugged. It shocked Seb how much her avoiding answering him directly bothered him. He wanted to know everything about her, every little detail.
“Tell me about yourself,” he asked. His words held a begging undertone. He suspected he’d drop to his knees to get her attention. What was happening to him? He spearheaded a multi-million dollar corporation, dealing with business partners from around the globe, and he felt helpless when faced with a pretty woman. Although he could tell Alix wasn’t just any pretty woman. There was something special about her.
“My full name is Alixandra,” she said, and he leaned closer to her not to miss anything in the loud bar. Or maybe just to see her full lips from up close.
“And you’re French?” he asked.
She made a sound as if that should be obvious.
“What do you do?” He knew he sounded like an inquisitor, but now was the chance to find out as much as he could about her.
She touched her hair again in what seemed like a nervous gesture. “I used to ride horses competitively. This week was my last competition. My friends and I were celebrating my retirement the night we met.” Her eyes glimmered with laughter, probably remembering his embarrassing mistake.
“A rider, huh?” He checked out her nicely shaped body. She was fit and gorgeous, not too skinny. He should’ve known she was an athlete. “What are your plans now?”
She shrugged. “Enough about me. I saw you surf. Just for fun?”
The only time she could see him surf was the day after they first met. That she had paid so much attention to him made his heart speed up. So she wasn’t indifferent. It wasn’t hopeless. Except he was leaving in twelve hours and she’d go back to France, possibly never to return to the States.
“I only surf to unwind. I have enough of competitiveness at my job and not nearly enough time to relax. I’ve always liked extreme sports. The adrenaline rush makes you forget about stress and you’re exhausted afterwards. Makes sleep come easier.”
“Mhm, an over-stressed manager, then?” She grinned but there was a question in her eyes.
“Something like that.” He’d learned not to reveal any details about his family and their fortune when he was twenty-four and an ex-girlfriend knocked on his door claiming she was pregnant with his child. The timeframe was off but it still took a paternity test to sort things out legally.
“You’re probably familiar with stress, too, huh? Only you’ve had a different sort of stress at your ‘job’.” He air-quoted the last word.
Her agreement was barely audible and her expression seemed far-off. She didn’t look sad, exactly, more like very grown-up and responsible. She was younger than him, that he was sure of. Maybe Jarrod’s age. But athletes always seemed more mature, even as teens.
“What do you do to relax, then?” he asked.
The tension melted from her face and she settled into her chair more comfortably. “I find horseback riding very relaxing when I’m not competing, so that’s pretty much all I do.” She smiled in a dreamy sort of way. “Animals are so simple and trustworthy.” She sighed deeply as if she’d been betrayed time and again by people. Seb felt an urge to reassure her that people, too, could be trustworthy. But who was he to claim that? Business was full of devious tricks and he’d used all of them in his career so far. Not to mention his history with women.
“How long are you staying?” he asked to change the topic.
“Three more days.” She leaned her head back, closing her eyes. “Three glorious days.”
How he wished he could make her days, and nights, glorious. They could have something special, he felt it in his gut. This woman could be the turning point for him. Just talking to her felt as though things would never be the same again. And yet, in the morning, he would leave all this behind, passing up the chance.
“You?” she asked, opening just one eye to look at him.
“My flight’s in ten hours,” he said, checking his wrist watch.
“Ten hours,” she repeated, thoughtfully, both eyes now open, trained at his face and a curious expression on hers. “Where are you staying?”
He only hesitated for a second before he told her. Was she asking what he thought she was asking?
She leaned forward. “It would be a shame to waste ten hours, don’t you think?” she said, softly. Her voice caressed his skin which broke out in goose flesh. But through the sweet promise of a fun night he could feel a sting of disappointment because of the limited time. Ten hours was not nearly enough for this woman.
She linked her arm through his as they walked along the beach toward his hotel. She was silent and he didn’t want to interrupt the magic of the murmuring waves in the dark. He watched her beautiful profile, enjoying the way her long hair whipped his upper arm in the wind, taunting him with its sweet smell of jasmine. When he licked his lips, he tasted the briny air, imagining how it would taste on her skin later. But it was her own taste which eclipsed everything else. Never before when kissing a woman had he questioned his motives or thought of the future. He’d had sex—immediate and satisfying. With Alix, he imagined, dreamed and longed for something he was helpless to understand. Every time he wanted to murmur promises, she shut his mouth with a kiss as if she knew he couldn’t keep them. Maybe she didn’t want his promises. The thought hurt, so he sought comfort in her smooth, warm body.
“Can you postpone your flight?” she whispered at five in the morning when she brought a tub of ice cream to bed which she’d ordered from room service. When she licked an icy drop of vanilla from his chest, he agreed.
She kept distracting him as he searched for his phone only to find the battery dead. “Can you lend me your phone so I can message my brother?”
“Is he the one you had drinks with the other night?”
When he nodded, she said, “Cute.”
“Engaged,” he warned.
“Kidding. I like my men darker and hotter.”
The mention of ‘her men’ stung, but he accepted her phone as she handed it to him. He didn’t check for typos as he rushed with the message, entering Jarrod’s number and sending it, all within thirty seconds, just so he could go back to Alix as soon as possible.
He took advantage of every last second with her, ignoring Jarrod’s calls and messages. Even his mother called and he’d let her call go to voice mail. In the end, he was forced to go to the airport on Wednesday, and escort Alix to the check-in line. Her luggage cart heaping, he helped her push it up to the counter, past four surly figures in dark suits. He hoped she wouldn’t have to sit next to them.
She asked him to get her a bottle of water while she sorted out the check-in process.
She looked somber and exhausted from lack of sleep when he returned to her. She only made a tiny sip of water before she pushed the bottle into her purse.
He didn’t know what to say. Usually, he left before the morning shed light on the consequences of his actions. This time, his insides squeezed at the thought he’d never get to wake up next to Alix again. It wasn’t fair.
“It’s been …” Alix glanced at him and then dropped her gaze. “Well, I need to go through the customs. Boarding will start in half an hour.” Her voice was croaky. It pained him that he couldn’t tell whether from fatigue or emotion.
She leaned into him, soft and supple, and it took his breath away. His arms came around her reflexively. Her bed hair was a stark reminder of what they’d been doing minutes before calling a taxi to take them to the airport.
“This was real, right? I didn’t just dream it?” Seb said.
He couldn’t quite catch what she murmured into his chest.
“I’ll miss you,” he blurted.
She looked up, opening her mouth, but then she pressed her lips together and dropped her gaze to his chest. He forced her face up with his finger under her chin. He kissed her forehead, her cheek and eyelids, her chin and lips, and felt the bitter taste of goodbye intruding on their intimacy.
His mouth on hers seemed to have unlocked something in her because she finally whispered, “I’ll miss you, too.”
When she stepped away, he reached to push a strand of her hair from her face, but her eyes—miserable and dark—flitted to his for a second and then she was gone, walking away from him, and then running, her purse swaying from her shoulder behind her.
****
It was like a punch to his gut when Maya showed him the magazine cover. He’d had a cold shower every day since Alix returned home, hoping to cool his skin which had felt as if sunburnt ever since their days of passion. He hadn’t slept well, he was late to meetings, and performed his tasks at work as an afterthought. His father had called him into his office three times to ask what was wrong and Seb lied that everything was okay and promised to get his act together but that was all it remained—a promise. It was hard to face reality through the mist of his daydreams of Alix.
On his fourth day back home, he lost his phone and locked his keys in his car in a single moment of distractedness. Jarrod teased him this was karmic payback for his previous womanizing ways. Seb didn’t laugh because he suspected it might be true. The next second he questioned what had happened to him for him to start believing in karma.
And then Maya sent him a message to meet her after work at the diner where they sometimes went for a weekend brunch with Jarrod and friends. Traffic was horrendous and he was half an hour late so Maya’s glare was understandable. She sat at the back of the diner. The fact that Jarrod hadn’t been invited filled Seb with apprehension. What was this about?
“What’s up?” he asked as he dropped onto the seat.
“Hello to you, too.” She looked at him sternly as she often did. As though she was his older sister, when in truth, she was five years younger. But then her face softened and she just watched him for a long moment.
A waitress interrupted and he ordered coffee, black, no sugar.
“Didn’t you used to drink latte?” Maya asked when they were left alone.
“Things change.”
“Apparently.”
He was getting impatient with her. He liked Maya because she was kind and fun but sometimes she was too much of a meddler. He presumed this was such an occasion because he couldn't see why she would otherwise ask him to meet her. “So, what’s this about?”
It took her another minute before she spoke. Her staring was getting freaky. At last, she asked, “Did that girl, Alix, tell you who she was?”
He smiled indulgently. “She’s Alix, a former horseback rider.”
“But you didn’t Google her?”
He had been too wrapped up in feeling miserable for that to cross his mind. And now that Maya mentioned it, it sounded banal to Google someone as exceptional as Alix. He shook his head.
“And you haven’t been in contact?”
“What is this? An interrogation?” He hadn’t called Alix for the simple reason that he didn’t have her number. He’d hinted at them exchanging their numbers but she avoided the topic so he presumed she didn’t want to keep in contact. She didn’t want it to be any more than a holiday fling. If he’d known he’d miss her so terribly, he’d have insisted.
“Sorry,” Maya said, sheepishly. “I got carried away. But you’ll understand why when you look at this.” She rummaged through her tote bag on the seat beside her and brought out a bunch of what looked like printouts. “I came across it this morning as I was researching a piece. And please don’t kill the messenger, okay?”
Maya was an assistant editor at a fashion magazine and he didn’t have a clue how anything she might’ve come across in the office could have anything to do with him. Or Alix.
He took the papers from her and glanced at the one on top. It looked like a magazine cover. A French one. There were several smaller photos with subtitles, but the large photo at the center of the cover attracted his eye right away. During the three days he’d spent with Alix in Florida, they left his hotel room only twice to get food. On one of those occasions, they took a stroll on the promenade, kissing and cuddling along the way, gorging on ice cream and each other. Someone took a snap of them as they laughed mid-kiss, oblivious of the world around them. Somehow that photo ended up on a French magazine cover. He hadn’t been familiar with competitive horseback riding but Alix made it seem like she was a decent rider but not one of the stars. So how …?
Then the words beneath the photo sunk in. He didn’t know French, but it didn’t take much imagination to interpret them. Or at least some of them.
La princesse et sa nouveau prince.
“What the …?”
His breath came short and he felt simultaneously shocked and confused and betrayed. He propped his forehead in his hand and kept staring at the page as if it would go away if he stared long enough. It took him a moment to hear Maya speaking.
“I never saw her in Florida. I’m not sure I’d have recognized her anyway.”
“Recognized her?” he asked, still perplexed.
“She’s Alixandra, heir to the throne of Norrone. The tiny island kingdom between England and France. One of the richest countries in the world. That’ll all be hers one day.”
“She could’ve told me,” Seb said, the words tearing out of him, leaving a sore spot in his chest. How could she do this to him? He’d told her on their last day together who his family was, hoping—naively, stupidly—that the promise of money would tempt her to change her mind so she’d stay. He was smitten, he’d do or say anything just to keep her a little bit longer. But why would she stay when she had not only money but a fucking country?
“Fuck!”
“For what it’s worth, Seb, I don’t think being a member of the royal family is easy,” Maya said softly. “Everyone watches her constantly … It’s …”
“She lied to me. She told me she was a rider, for fuck’s sake.”
“She was. But that’s just a hobby for her. I imagine it helps her forget who she really is.” Maya took the papers from his hand and searched for another one which looked like an interview with the Princess. “Here, read this. It’ll explain a lot.”
“No matter what I read, it won’t explain why she lied.” Seb pulled at the collar of his shirt until the top button popped, rolled across the table and vanished under Maya’s seat.
“Did she lie?” Maya asked, her eyes almost pleading as if she were defending her.
“Withholding the truth is the same thing as lying,” he bit out. How could she do this to him after the tender moments they’d shared during their three days together? He’d felt as if they had really connected. Apparently, she hadn’t shared his sentiments.
If only he had her number to call her and tell her what he thought of her deceitful ploy. He should just fly to Europe and storm right to her palace, castle, fort or wherever the hell she lived. But he knew he wouldn’t do it, no matter how mad he was. Those three days in Florida were the best days of his life and what angered him more than her lie was that he would never get to relive them again. If he’d had any hope of meeting her again before, it was shattered now. A princess wanting to see him? What a joke. She’d probably marry an actual prince who drove around in carriages and wore a sword as part of his uniform not an American with a Volvo and an iPhone.
“Look … Maybe she just wanted to enjoy a few quiet moments with you. I mean, you get all pissy when your mug appears on covers. I think it must be worse for her because she’s a woman and royalty.”
“Why are you defending her?” He needed to direct his anger at someone and Maya was the most convenient target right now.
“Because I may not be a princess but I’m a woman and we always get judged more harshly than you guys. So maybe I understand her.”
He couldn’t believe she was turning this into a lesson on feminism.
“How many girls did you lie to about who you were?” she asked, looking pointedly at him.
“That’s—”
“Different? How?” Her voice was sharp.
He leaned his head in his hands and closed his eyes. She was right, it was no different. And Jarrod was right, karmic retribution was after him. And Seb was paying dearly. It wasn’t fair that Alix had walked away scot free while he muddled through his life for the past few days, unable to eat, sleep or work.
“Why do you even care?” he asked, dejectedly. It didn’t matter anymore, did it? Alix was gone and he was hurting. Justice was done.
“Because you need to understand why she did it before I give you her phone number,” Maya said, sounding stern and smug all in one.
“Huh?”
“Remember that first night of your tryst?” She made a face. “You messaged Jarrod about delaying your return home?”
Slowly details emerged out of the fog of his heartbreak. “So?”
The smugness was definitely there now. “Well, the smart woman that I am, I memorized the phone number before Jarrod deleted the message in the careless way you men usually throw away vital information. Because if I’m not mistaken, you sent that message from her phone, didn’t you?”
Heat and chill swamped him in the same instant. Could it be that Maya really had Alix’s number? He could call her? Did it even matter? A royal aide would probably answer, thinking him a fanatic stalker and send the police after him. Or Alix would tell him directly that their thing meant nothing to her, that he was just a distraction on her holiday.
Before he could decide which of the two options was worse, Maya was sliding a piece of paper across the table. There seemed to be an awful lot of numbers on it. How could Maya memorize them all? Jesus.
“I should warn you, though,” she said. “You probably have a couple of days before this thing hits our newspapers. Because once they recognize your face, you’ll make front page news.”
He couldn’t even think about that right now. He grabbed the phone number like it was the most important piece of a puzzle. Perhaps it was.
He stood up to go, and then turned back to Maya. “Thank you,” he said, bending down to kiss her cheek. “You’ll be the best sister-in-law.”
He couldn’t wait to get home to call. He didn’t even consider the time difference. His hand shook as he typed in the foreign number. As he waited for the call to connect, the pressure on his chest made him fear his ribs would crack. He hadn’t been this nervous when he waited for the Japanese to reach a decision about his business proposition the first time his father had sent him to represent their company at just twenty-five years of age.
“Oui?”
The breath was knocked out of him when he heard her silky voice. He’d planned what he’d say and how he’d say it. All nonchalant and suave so she couldn’t see how much he’d missed her, how he’d ached to see her again, and despaired when he thought he wouldn’t get the chance.
“You’re a friggin princess and you didn’t tell me?” That was suave, all right. Moron.
“Pardon? Who’s thi—?”
He could hear her intake of breath but he couldn’t interpret the silence that followed and it ate at him this frighteningly long pause.
“Seb?” she finally asked, her voice tremulous. His heart squeezed at how good it was to hear her say his name. If only he could see her and hold her in his arms.
“How could you keep something like that from me, Alix?” he asked, sounding more hurt than angry. “I told you about my family. I told you things I haven’t told anyone before. And you …” He didn’t know anymore what he’d wanted to say.
She was silent for a long moment. He thought she’d disconnected the call. At last, she said with a small voice, “I didn’t tell you for the same reason you didn’t tell me who you were until the last minute. I don’t answer just to my family, Seb. I answer to a country. I can only have a life if I hide.”
“For Christ’s sake, it’s the twenty-first century not the middle ages, Alix.”
“For you, perhaps. For me, it’s my days scheduled to the last minute, royal etiquette, reporters and two million inhabitants who feel entitled to judge my every misstep.”
“So I was just a misstep?” The next second, he regretted asking. He wasn’t sure he could handle the answer.
“No.” It was such a soft word he first thought the long distance call distorted it. The word rendered him speechless. But then he didn’t have much to lose if she was telling the truth. “So go out with me. Let’s talk about this.”
“What point would there be in us talking? We belong to entirely different worlds. I can’t escape mine and you won’t leave yours. So why?” Even though she spoke softly, there was bitterness in her words. It hurt him that she had so little faith in them.
“Because I’ve missed you terribly. I haven’t slept properly in days. My father’s breathing down my neck because I’ve screwed up at work more times since Florida than in the past ten years. Without you, I’m not myself anymore, Alix.”
He could imagine her biting her lip as she’d done every time she couldn’t decide what to do. The silence stretched and the tightness in his chest progressed from uncomfortable to painful.
At last, she said, throatily, “I can’t leave at the moment. You’d have to come here. Since it’s already out in the papers, you’d have to be sneaky about it.”
“I can do that,” he said and nearly laughed with relief. “I’m the master of sneaky.”
He could hear the smile in her voice. “Okay.”