We both stand up as if of one mind. I take out my wallet, not even considering allowing her to pay. I bet that piece of shit Zac made her pay for their meals out many times over. If not every damn time. While it’s not really a date, I feel more of a connection with her than I have most of the women I’ve taken out for real.

I take two hundred dollars out of my pocket. It’s overkill for the bill, which is only seventy for our meals. The place isn’t glamorous by any stretch, but that’s why I like it. It’s a solid reminder of how very lucky I am. And it’s kind of a relief to not be in a place where everyone suffers affluenza and better than thou attitudes. It’s nice to pretend to be normal.

Jane looks at me as if I’ve lost my mind and I realize she’s aware that I’m over tipping. I worry she might think I’m flirting, so I decide to be honest for honesty’s sake. What she said resonated with me and reminded me to remember that other are also human. And to error is human. None of us are perfect, and it’s always better to be kind than angry.

“I’m taking a bit of your philosophy here,” I tell her, draping an arm around her shoulders because I want her closer. There’s just something about her that’s wonder and pure, sweet and flame. “I don’t know if she’s having a bad day. Maybe that will help.”

A sad smile lights Jane’s face and I know something is bothering her. As we walk out, I decide to do something I would never have dreamed of before; I ask what she’s thinking that’s making her sad. Well, kind of.

“Something is bothering you,” I say and she looks up at me in surprise.

The shadows in her eyes darken and I wonder if she’s going to be honest or blow me off. I wouldn’t fault her for blowing me off. I get that it’s hard to be honest and discuss things that aren’t pretty. Especially with a near stranger.

Then again, if I think about it, maybe it’s easier to talk to a stranger. If she’s being judgmental about my life I can still comfort myself knowing she’ll be gone in a week and I’ll never see her again.

The thought hits me like a blow to the gut and I realize I want to see her again. I want this connection I feel between us to be real.

“Just… this,” She says, gesturing to us. And I get it. She’s aware this is all a sham. And as much as I don’t want things to end, I also know that it’s a good idea to let her go. She’s not a threat. The only reason I’m still clinging to her is because on some level, I hope I can make her realize that there’s something between us that we should explore.

But I can’t force her. If she’s not feeling it, or doesn’t want me, I should accept that. Right?

As we head back toward our rooms, I decide to do the right thing, as much as everything in me argues against it. I could keep her. I could intimidate her into staying. I could force her to stay, to keep up the appearance of dating. I could, given enough time, make her fall in love with me.

I need to let her go before I give into the thoughts pummeling me.

“Thank you for the date,” I say gently as she looks up at me in surprise. The flash of heat in her eyes at my calling it a date is unmistakable. It's also almost enough to undo me.

I push forward before I can change my mind. “You’re free to go. I only ask,” I say, feeling her whole body stiffen, “That you not discuss my personal life. And I, of course, won’t discuss yours.”

We walk on and she pulls me toward the dock that leads out into the ocean. I notice the place is nearly empty as the skies look like they’re going to open up and pour at any moment now. The waters are rolling and crashing against the wooden posts holding the pier in place and overhead, gulls laugh at the people moving away from the beach for fear of rain.

To my surprise, she pulls out of my grip and throws her arms around my shoulders. Her lips meet mine and I feel every inch of her pressed to my body. She feels like heaven and hell, sweet sin and beautiful wickedness.

Her tongue meets mine and I feel every part of me responding to her. This wasn’t part of the plan. But fucking hell, I’m loving it.

Her lips move against mine and I plunder her mouth like a starving man. It’s all I can do not to drag her back to my place and shove her onto my bed to take what she’s so sweetly offering. She’s a god damned drug and I’m desperate for a fix. My hands find her ass and I forget we’re in public as she breaks the kiss to pull my lower lip into her mouth.

Just as quickly, reality snaps back and thunder rolls through the air. The impending storm makes Jane begin to tremble, and I feel the change in the air before the rain begins to pour on us. A flash of lighting splits the sky and she lets out a little squeal before I give her a quick kiss.

Her hair begins to mat to her head and I feel the heat rising off her body as the rich scent of wet earth and ocean overtake my senses.

“Connor,” she whispers, the sound almost a moan that proves she’s lost to this as much as I am. I give her another quick kiss and know it’s time to leave. If I don’t, I never will.

It feels like losing everything as I turn and walk away from her.

Only when I’m safe in my room do I begin to think on what’s happening in my life. The hopeful sense that maybe the horrors are finally over fills me. Cami isn’t a threat. She’s clean, she’s sober, and she’s the first one to say she’s fucked up but won’t again. And while I don’t trust her at her word, I pride myself on my ability to read people.

She’s not someone I’m going to worry about any more.

But it goes beyond that. I need to make amends for what I did to her. I think I know how; Jane made a valid point.

I strip out of my wet clothes and head toward the shower, a plan forming in the back of my mind. Jane was right; both parents need to be there for that little girl. Olivia deserves both her mother and father in her life.

It's going to take some serious work to get Kieran to pull his head out of his ass and work out some kind of co-parenting plan. But if I leverage things just right, he’ll come to see that I’m right. That Jane is right.

Lightning strikes outside as I step into the steaming shower. Walking away from Jane might have been the stupidest thing I ever did. Even now, the look in her eyes as I pulled away eats at my soul.

But I did what I felt was right. So why does it still feel all wrong?