I’ve never met a woman as stubborn as that Astor woman. Everything about her grates on me. Still, as obnoxious as she is, I can’t stop thinking about how it would have felt to grab her and press her against the wooden siding of her house.

I’ve anger fucked plenty of women, but none of them have been angry in return.

Generally, they whimper and play at never having felt this way before. But I imagine the Astor woman would meet my anger with her own and we’d set the world ablaze.

I groan as my cock pulses. Jesus, I must be off my rocker, being so turned on by a woman that clearly hated me.

She’d told me no, and judging by the look in her eyes, she’d gotten off on it.

But it was a small matter. Life has taught me to have back up plans. And I’ve got a good one. One that even that cold-hearted bitch can’t destroy. I’ll have her ranch, she just doesn’t know it yet.

On the way home, my phone rings and I answer it. Olivia’s sweet voice fills the truck cab. “Daddy!” She says, and I can’t help but smile at the joy in her voice. She never fails to brighten my life. Even failure stings a little less as her love shines in her words.

“Hey Vi. Are you being good?” I ask. The school had told me she would have to take a few days suspension since she’d started a fist fight between two boys. Sandra, while angry, was there to watch her.

“Of course.” Olivia’s voice is all sweet innocence. “Are you mad at me, daddy?” She asks, her tone decidedly sad.

I think carefully before responding. “I’m not mad. But I am disappointed.” I’m not going to lie to her. “I’m also sorry I was mean this morning,” I tell her, needing to reiterate that point.

“It’s okay. I know you were upset because someone else was mean.” She sounds thoughtful, and I find myself surprised once more to how perceptive she is. Right now I’m sure she’s applying this knowledge of how the mind works to various situations in life she can’t explain.

“I’m going to try to be better about things like that,” I tell her, “and I need you to try to be better too, okay?”

“Will it be hard?” she asks, and I smile.

“All the best things in life are hard, right?”

She sounds dubious at best. “Not math. Math is hard and I hate it. Are you coming home now?”

I try not to laugh at her dislike of math. I don’t want to encourage such thoughts, but it’s painfully cute. “I am on my way home. Did you decide what you want to do?”

“What are my options?” she asks, sounding so adult my heart aches. She’s growing up so fast. Sure, she’s so obviously a child, but some of the things she does and says remind me that she’s getting older day by day, and it’s heartbreaking.

“Well, you asked if you could take riding lessons. Are you still interested?” I ask, holding my breath. I needn’t have worried. She squeals into the phone and I can’t help the little laugh that escapes my lips.

“You mean it?” she asks, “Even though I got in trouble?”

I tiptoe around this landmine. “I mean it. But remember, you told me you’d be better. I’m trusting you.”

“Okay, daddy,” she says, suddenly calm and serious. “Can I call?”

“Wait until I get home, okay?” I say, wanting to hear the Astor woman’s voice again. Startled by the turn in my thoughts, I tell Olivia that I’m going to get off the phone, but I’ll see her soon.

* * *

When I get home, I head right in and come face to face with Sandra. She ducks her head and sidles off, clearly still pissed at our stand off last night. But Olivia doesn’t give me a chance to do anything else. She grabs my hand and leads me into the dining room.

My cell rings and I pull it from my pocket. Connor again. Touching the red button, I smile at Olivia. “Go ahead,” I tell her, and she lights up and picks up the phone. She holds her breath while dialing, and I’m tempted to join her.

“Hello, River Acres Ranch. Emma Astor speaking.”

My body reacts to her voice, and I feel my blood pressure climb.

“Hi! I’m Olivia. I need to schedule riding lessons.” Olivia gives me a thumbs up.

I smile and return the gesture. On the other end of the line, the hesitation worries me.

“Well hello, Olivia,” Emma says. “Generally I have parents make the appointments.”

“It’s okay,” Olivia says, “Daddy’s right here.”

“I am,” I say, hoping the distance will warp my voice enough that Emma doesn’t recognize it.

“Good!” Emma says, “When would you like to start lessons, Olivia?”

“Tonight?” Olivia says, sounding hopeful.

On the other end, Emma laughs, but it’s a kind sound. “I like your spirit, Olivia!” she says, “But we had a colt born today. So the soonest I could start is the day after tomorrow.”

“Deal,” Olivia says, and I smile back at her. That little grin of hers is infectious. “What time?” she asks, ever the responsible little girl I raised.

“How does four p.m. sound?”” Emma sounds like she’s falling head over heels already, and I breathe a sigh of relief. This plan worked. I worried she’d be booked, busy, unable or unwilling to teach Olivia. Lessons are such a tiny part of her ranch, I figured she’d be fully booked through the new year.

Thank the lord for little blessings, I guess.

“Good,” Olivia says, before asking a nervous question. “Can I see the baby horse when I come out?”

“Of course!” Emma sounds thrilled. “I look forward to meeting you in person, Olivia,” she says, and Olivia echoes the sentiment.

“Bye!” She says, and they hang up.

Olivia launches herself into my arms the second the phone is hung up and I wrap my arms around her shoulders. “Thank you,” she says, pressing her forehead to mine.

I close my right hand in a fist and double tap my chest. “Still beating,” I tell her. Her smile is instant. She follows suit.

“Still beating,” she whispers.

“Are you hungry?” I ask.

She nods.

“Want to order pizza?” I ask, and she nods.

“Can I order it?” she asks, and I shrug.

“You don’t even need me, jeez,” I tease, but her eyes widen.

“That’s not funny,” she says, sunny mood gone in an instant.

“I’m sorry,” I tell her, pulling her close and pressing my lips to her forehead. “You’re just growing into an independent young lady.”

“I’ll need you forever,” she whispers, and I squeeze my eyes closed.

Deep in the back of my mind I hear my father whispering that I’m failing her.