Jackson walks over looking nervous. He keeps wringing his hands and wiping them on his pants. I can’t remember a time I’ve seen him looking frayed. “Hi,” he says glancing around.
“Hi?” I reply skeptically as I smile a little.
“So, I’m going to propose to Catherine. I wanted to do it after the party, but I have something set up on the beach for ten minutes from now. I wasn’t sure how long these kid party things last . . .”
My eyes alight and I’m so happy for him I could scream. “So go. Don’t be stupid. Where are you taking her?”
“The lighthouse,” he smiles and checks to make sure no one is near us. “I would love for everyone to come in about a half hour, but I don’t know now since I apparently have shitty timing.”
The joy in my heart is overwhelming. He deserves this so much. After he lost Madelyn, none of us were sure he’d recover, but when you see him with Catherine, you can’t help but be happy. They’ve been through a lot of troubles, but in the end they endured. There’s nothing more I’d like than to be a part of their special moment.
“I’ll have my parents watch Aarabelle and round everyone up.” I place my hand on his forearm. “I’m genuinely happy for you.”
He smiles down at me. “Thanks, Lee.” Jackson kisses my cheek and then nudges my arm. “I’m gonna grab Cat and head there.”
I nod and watch him walk off. My eyes drift to Liam who’s looking at me. Our gazes stay connected, and I suddenly wish we were that happy. He’s the man I want to come home to, wake up next to, and fall asleep with, but for some reason he’s trying to be noble.
Jackson and Catherine walk off to the beach while I head over to our friends. Mark, Ashton, Quinn, and Liam all look over as I approach. “Did Jackson fill you all in?” I ask, and they nod. Liam looks away for the first time, and my anger builds at his dismissal. “Okay, I’m going to change my shoes.”
“Are you sure you want to walk on the beach in that dress?” Liam asks seemingly annoyed.
I smile at the fact that my plan is working. “Yup. I’m very comfortable.”
“Glad someone is,” he mutters under his breath.
Mark and Quinn give each other a look and slap each other on the chest. Apparently, they notice his crappy attitude.
I climb the stairs and check on Aaron. He’s sound asleep and for once not thrashing around. I decide not to wake him and grab my shoes. Liam is waiting at the bottom of the stairs. I stop on the bottom step and have to restrain myself from either leaping into his arms or slapping him again.
“You can’t be mad at me because you don’t like your decision.”
Liam steps closer and we’re eye to eye. “I don’t like the situation. This is fucking impossible.”
“What is?”
“Not touching you,” his hand lifts and he holds my cheek. “Not talking to you,” he keeps me captivated with his voice. “Not kissing you,” Liam leans in and our lips are almost touching. “Is it killing you, Lee?”
I don’t answer. I hold my ground for a second before I can’t hold back any longer. My lips press against his and I melt. His arms drop, he grips my hips, holding me tight as my arms wrap around his neck. I won’t let go . . . I can’t let go. I need him to fill my lungs and awaken me again. There’s a house full of people, but right now there’s no one else but us. His lips mold to mine and our tongues meet. Liam pushes me back against the wall, hiding us from anyone’s view. He kisses me languidly, and I find myself in his touch.
Someone clears their throat, and we break apart. I look over at Reanell who has her hands on her hips. “At least find a spare room.” She shakes her head and walks away.
“We should go,” I say, feeling conflicted. He tilts back against the railing, wipes his mouth, which smears the lipstick even worse. “You have lipstick on your face,” I say moving closer. I wipe his mouth, relishing the way his lip feels against my finger. The smell of his cologne filters around us.
He grips my wrist before it drops, “I won’t lose you.”
“You’re damn right you won’t.”
Liam releases my arm, takes my hand in his, as we head toward the lighthouse. Everyone is ahead of us, and I savor the fact that we’re alone. Neither of us fills the silence, we just walk hand in hand. Liam’s thumb rubs the back of my hand, giving me comfort in his touch. Once we’re out of view of my home, he drags me close, and wraps his arm around my waist. He pulls me tight against him, and dips me back. I watch his blue eyes shimmer as his mouth slowly moves toward mine.
Our lips touch and there’s no rush. He kisses me like I’m a treasure in his arms. He cradles my head as he holds his mouth to mine. I could stay like this forever.
Liam pulls me back but keeps his arms wrapped around me. “I’m sorry.”
“For kissing me?”
We start to walk again and I wait for my answer. “No, sweetheart. For how this is for all of us. I hate that you’re hurting and that I’m hurting you. The deployment got pushed up.”
I stop moving. “You’re leaving sooner?” I thought we had another week or two. Time to mend a little, or at least find a better resolution than him stepping aside so my husband can have a go at this.
“Yeah, I got the call earlier today. We leave in three days.” Liam’s voice is resolute. You can tell he’s going into what we call deployment mode. They close off the world around them and start to focus on the mission.
The lighthouse is within view, and I still can’t respond. My mind is going a mile a minute with how to handle this. Liam stops me before we reach everyone else. “I want to see you before I go.”
I nod with tears in my eyes. “I’m going to miss you.”
Liam gives a sad smile, but before he can respond, Quinn whistles us over.
We head toward our friends right as Jackson and Catherine exit the lighthouse. Catherine is smiling, and then she sees us and her face falls in confusion.
She looks back to Jackson as he drops to his knee. I watch with tear-filled eyes as she clutches her chest.
“Catherine Pope, you’ve given me more love in the last two years than I’ve ever known. You taught me how to love again, how to be a better man, and how to forgive myself. I want to spend every day of my life making you happy. I will cherish you, protect you, annoy you.” She laughs as tears fall down her cheek. “I’ll give you everything you could ever want. Will you marry me?” Jackson’s voice is full of promise, and we all stand with smiles and love for them.
He’s gone through a lot of hell to get here, and I have faith I’ll survive just like he has.
Catherine falls to her knees and grips his face. “I will marry you today if you want.”
He holds her close and kisses her passionately. Jackson leans back and places the diamond on her finger and wipes her tears. “Tomorrow we leave for Hawaii.”
She laughs and he pulls her close. “Always so damn sure of yourself.”
“You can’t resist me, baby.” Jackson smirks and kisses her again.
We all join in their joy and hug the happy couple. Ashton squeals over the ring and the guys joke with him about losing his touch. I stand off to the side sharing stolen glances with Liam.
Fear that he won’t make it home consumes me, but more than ever, I’m terrified we won’t make it back to each other. There’s so much at stake for both of us, and six months is a long time. Part of me understands his need for a break, but I worry it will be too much.
Liam walks over after the group disperses. “Do you want to walk with me?”
“Sure,” I reply.
“I don’t know how this works, Lee. If Aaron weren’t here, I would be with you on my last night. I would make love to you and—”
“Don’t,” I lift my hand to stop him. “Don’t tell me how you would be doing things if he wasn’t alive. Because you could be doing them now, but you don’t believe me. I chose you. I came to you and told you.”
“And he’s living in the house. What do you want—family dinners? I’m doing the right thing by staying away. I’m giving you both a chance to figure out what the fuck you want.”
“He’s moving out soon, but I can’t just throw him out. He’s Aarabelle’s father. Jesus, he’s been tortured and God only knows what. It’s our home,” I try to explain to him. This isn’t easy on me or him, but Aaron has it the worst. Sure, he screwed up and there’s no going back, and at the same time I can’t be cruel. I know Liam isn’t asking for that, but I’m at a loss here.
“Your home with him. Do you get it now? It’s not our home. It’s the home you made with him. Where you share a child. Where I would come crash for the night on the couch when I would visit while you two did whatever upstairs. I’m always the outsider.”
I turn and fire burns through my veins. “I think you want to believe that. It’s easier for you to walk away this way. Make me the bad guy so you can deploy and carry out your life without having to worry about me. I’m not the bad guy here. None of us are. Aaron is moving out soon. He wanted to give me and Aara some space so we can adjust and figure out a life.”
“Did he tell you he’d let you go?” Liam fires off.
“No.”
“I’ll never know for sure, Natalie. I’ll always wonder if you really loved me or if I was just the consolation prize. So take the six months and figure it out. Know that no matter what, when I get back I’ll be hoping you’re there. If you are, I’ll marry you. I’ll do anything you want to prove how much I want you.”
My heart rate quickens, and I wait for him to say more.
“This isn’t about me fighting for you. I know you keep saying I’m giving you up, but I’m not. I’ll never stop hoping you’ll still choose me when this is all over. I just can’t watch you decide. I see the way he looks at you. He’s made it clear he wants you back. I never wanted to lose you in the first place.”
I grip his shirt and pull myself to him. “You never will.”
“I hope that’s true. You have no idea how much I want that to be the case.”
“Have faith in us, Liam.”
He presses his lips to the top of my head. “I do, sweetheart. I just need a minute.”
Liam walks me back to the party with his hands in his pockets. Both of us keep our heads down. I don’t know how I’ll endure six months of not knowing. But I do have faith in us, and I won’t let that falter. I have to make him believe me. As we approach the deck, Aaron is standing there watching us.
“Hey.” He looks at both of us and guilt eats at me. “I woke up and your mom said you all headed to the lighthouse.”
“Yeah, I came upstairs but you were asleep. Jackson proposed to Catherine and he asked us all to come,” I explain, hoping he’ll drop it.
He looks toward the ocean. “Where’s everyone else?”
“They’re coming. Do you feel better?”
Aaron looks at Liam with hate in his eyes. “I did until now.”
“Stop it,” I chastise him. “I’ve been honest with you. I’m not sneaking behind your back and doing God knows what while we were still married. I’m not keeping half truths or secrets.”
“I thought you would give us time before you moved in on her again?”
Liam steps forward, pushing me behind him protectively. “I wish you’d seen the wife you love so much when she found out about your girlfriend. The pain in her eyes, the way she cried and then drank herself stupid. Or maybe you could’ve seen the way she wanted to kill Brittany after she found out about her pregnancy. My word means something to her . . . does yours?”