“Thanks, Rea,” I say as I place Aarabelle in the porta crib at her house.
I haven’t heard from Liam in two days. I’ve tried to get a hold of him multiple times, but he doesn’t respond. He’s starting to worry me.
“No problem. I love waking up at two a.m.” She yawns and nudges me.
Aaron was asleep on the couch tossing and turning. I literally snuck out of my own house. Since the first night, we haven’t spoken much. There’s not much for me to say. He tells me repeatedly that he wants to work on us, but it’s two people fighting to have the other let go. He wants me to let go of resisting him, and I want him to let me go. “I just need to see him. I won’t be long.”
Reanell takes me into her arms and holds tight. “Go. I’m sure he needs you.”
“I don’t know what to say to him,” I admit.
“Just talk to him. How are things at home?”
Reanell and I haven’t been able to talk except through text messages. Aaron hasn’t left my side except to sleep. “I don’t know. Rocky at best. He’s on the couch, which he’s not happy about. He keeps saying he’s going to prove how much we belong together.”
She looks at me with empathy. “I know this is hard. I can’t even imagine what you’re feeling, but I can say I’ve seen you with both men. I know the Natalie you were with Aaron and who you are with Liam. Neither was wrong, but one was definitely happier. I’m here no matter what.” Rea kisses the side of my cheek and swats my ass. “Now, go.”
I turn and head toward the man I’m desperate to see.
As I drive, I debate whether I should let him know I’m on my way. I worry that he won’t want to see me. The pain in his eyes haunts me. The need to see Liam as he was before all this is my only goal.
Guilt over leaving Aaron at home chews at my heart. It wraps around and squeezes me tight. My chest hurts, but I keep heading toward Liam. He’s who I need right now. I miss him, love him, and long to touch him.
I park and check my reflection, already hating the dark circles forming under my eyes. The red, blotchy marks on my skin from all the tears I’ve shed. The acid marks on my skin matching my insides.
I knock twice but he doesn’t answer. It’s the middle of the night and I didn’t call. I shouldn’t be surprised. Regardless, disappointment swells over me. I rest my head against the door, hoping to feel some sort of connection to him. If he can feel me here, he’ll open.
But instead the door shoves forward.
“Liam?” I speak quietly as I enter.
The hinges are broken, but look as if someone rigged the door back up. What the hell happened? I flip the light on in the living room, suddenly unsure if I’m in the right place. It’s a mess. Papers, bottles, and shattered glass is everywhere. There’s a hole in the wall by the television and a bloody towel lying on the floor.
“Liam?” I call out more loudly, but no answer.
When I reach his bedroom, I’m floored at what I find. Liam is passed out in the bed, wearing only his boxers. “Oh, Liam,” I whisper and move toward him. Crouching down by his face, I gently brush his hair back. “I’ve missed you.” He lets out a long, slow breath as if he’s been holding it. “Why haven’t you called me? I don’t want to lose you. I feel so alone, Liam.” My eyes prick as a tear falls. He sleeps as I confess my pain. “The tension is so thick, and I can’t breathe without you. I close my eyes and pretend you’re next to me. I feel your arms wrap around me, but you’re not there. I wish I could be with you and not feel like I’m dying inside. We could be away, making love, holding each other, but you’re passed out, and I’m sobbing on the floor. How did we get here? How do we go back?” My breathing becomes difficult as I let it all out. My fingers rub the side of his face, letting his beard scratch the pads of my fingers.
I need to be closer to him, so I strip down to my t-shirt and climb next to him. I lift his arm and drape it over me, allowing his warmth to blanket me. Tears continue to fall as I cocoon myself into him. I need to be close to him. Liam adjusts onto his side, and pulls me flush against his chest. He’s still asleep, but it’s as if he knows I’m here.
“I miss you, sweetheart,” his deep voice trembles.
My eyes stay trained on his, but he keeps them closed.
“So fucking much,” he says as his hands move down my back. “I need you, Lee.”
“You have me. Take me,” I murmur and press my lips to his. He kisses me with reverence and tenderness. Liam lets out a moan as his hands glide up my back.
He flips me onto my back while his delicious weight holds me beneath him. I’m where I belong. “Are you real?” he asks then crashes his lips back against mine. Our mouths stay fused as his fingers scrape down my sides. Liam doesn’t break, he doesn’t stop touching me, as if I’m going to vanish. His eyes stay glued shut as he gives me all of him. I breathe in every touch and every moment that I’m here with him. He brings me back to life.
My heart feels light, and it’s as if I’m floating.
He stops and gazes at me with so much emotion in his eyes I can’t move. Words fail. My heart stops. And time doesn’t move. All that exists in this world is us right now.
Liam’s strong hand presses against my face. He gazes lovingly at me as I begin to cry. The connection we share is more than I can explain. It bonds us stronger than ever before. I’m his and he’s mine. This one look has cemented our love and forged an unbreakable bond. Even if we will never be together again, I’ll never be anyone else’s.
His voice is thick and husky as he refuses to break from my eyes. “Tell me you’re real.”
“I’m real.”
“Tell me you’re really here.”
“I’m here with you.” My hand rises, and I press my thumb to his lips. “I’m here for you. I’m here with only you. I need you so much.”
His eyes close as I rub my thumb, savoring the rough feel on my skin.
“Stay with me,” he pleads.
Liam’s hands rest on each side of my face as I drag him down further. “There’s nowhere else I want to be.” Our lips meet, and I lose myself.
I may be married.
Aaron may be alive.
But my heart belongs to Liam.
My body is his, and I want him to take me.
My hands roam his thick back, memorizing each dip and ridge along his taut muscles. He hovers above me and his tongue brushes with mine over and over. I feel his hardness against my core, and I need him to fill me and bring me back to earth. To him.
My fingers trail his spine and hook in his boxers, dragging them lower. He becomes frantic and pulls me on top of him. Liam rips my shirt off and then discards my bra.
“I don’t want to wake up,” he says as he squeezes my nipple. I writhe on top of him, wishing I could convince him this is real.
“You are awake. This isn’t a dream.”
His hands slither down and cup my ass. “You’re my dream.” His eyes slam closed, and he groans as I grind down. Only the fabric of my underwear separates us. “But in my dream, you’d be fucking me already.”
My head falls back as he grips my hips setting the pace. Liam rocks me against him. I feel his length rub against my clit. The friction drives me higher and then he stops. I moan in protest. But he rises and his hands hold my face.
Liam stares at me for one beat.
Then two.
Then three.
I need to feel him. I lean forward and kiss him. Our tongues tangle and he bites my bottom lip, holding it between his teeth as he pulls back. My God. He’s killing me. His head drops to my breasts as he runs his tongue along the top of one and then repeats on the other side. My fingers grip his hair, and I tug him closer, needing more. For the first time in two days, my body has come to life. Liam latches on, and I cry out, feeling his teeth, tongue, and the warmth of his mouth.
“Liam, I need you inside of me.” I don’t recognize my own voice. It’s thick and heavy with a need only he can fulfill. “Take me, sweetheart. Take me,” I beg.
He responds with a throaty groan and flips me onto my back. He tears my underwear off and stares at me, blinking a few times. I see the moment he realizes this isn’t a dream. Awareness registers and his hand travels down my side. “You’re here.”
I grip his cheeks. “I’m here. I’m yours. Now prove you’re mine.”
Liam settles between my legs, and our eyes stay locked as he slowly enters me. I refuse to break the connection we share as he fills me. I stretch and savor the feeling of being complete.
We stay together as he glides back and forth. Liam brushes my hair, rubs his thumb across my lips, and keeps his gaze trained on me. My hands gently trail his spine, his shoulders, and down his arms. He sucks in a breath when my nails scratch across the tattoo on his ribs.
Liam thrusts me forward, and the sound of our lovemaking echoes in the room. Our tangled bodies and heavy breathing mixed with the smell of sex and sweat fill my mind. I want to bathe in this moment. Drench myself in the happiness and love I feel, because I know all too soon that it will end.
“Don’t,” he commands.
Confusion sweeps over me.
“Don’t go there. Stay here. Stay right here with me, Natalie.”
I crush the thoughts that were chasing me and focus on him. My thoughts only memorize his frame that’s covering me, the connection we share right now, soul to soul and body to body.
My orgasm comes out of nowhere and I fall apart in his arms. “Oh, oh my God.”
Liam stops moving and watches me burst into pure ecstasy. I wriggle and he reaches between us, putting pressure on my clit, drawing out all pleasure from my body. “I can’t,” I say, needing him to stop. It’s too much.
“You can,” his voice is strained.
He milks each ounce of bliss my body holds. It lasts forever. My limbs are limp at my sides when he begins to move again. “I’ll never grow tired of watching you come apart.” He pounds harder and I slide up from the force. “I want you to think of how I make you feel when you’re away from me.” Liam slams into me again, and I claw my nails into his shoulder. “When you move, I want you to feel me right here.” He rears back and the slapping of skin rings loudly through the air. “You belong to me. Not him. Not anyone else.”
I can’t speak as Liam sets a punishing rhythm. He growls as he pushes harder and harder. Each time he hits a little deeper, and I bite my lip to fight from crying out. This is rough, but it’s exactly what I need. We had our sweet lovemaking . . . now we’re fucking. There’s no finesse, no love. Just primal and urgent. The need to sink our bodies so deep that we don’t know where I end and he begins.
“Do you understand?” he asks and pushes so hard I can’t control the cry. I welcome the pain from his body. I’d rather feel him hurt me than all the other forms of agony I’m in.
“Hurt me! Make it stop!” I scream out.
Liam stills and looks down at me as tears build in my eyes. “I’ll never hurt you.” His voice is calm and unlabored, as if all of that minutes ago was nothing. He flips me on top and grips my hips. “I love you,” he says tenderly.
Tears fall from my eyes and splash against his chest. “I love you,” I reply.
He moves me slowly and I rock, allowing his cock to fill me. “Stay tonight,” he requests.
I don’t reply because I can’t. He knows it, but it hurts. Liam forces me to pick up the pace but still stays affectionate. “I’m gonna come, Lee,” he tells me as he begins to pump from below.
I lean down against his ear. “I love you. Fill me.”
He grunts and releases. Liam’s arms wrap around my body, holding me close. I close my eyes and wish I could stay here.
But I can’t.
No matter how much I don’t want to . . . I have to go home.