Mark
“Long night?” Toni laughed as she sat down at her desk and stared at me expectantly.
“Something like that,” I muttered as I tapped away on my computer. I blew out a breath as I looked at the screen in front of me again. This was not what I wanted to be doing right now. I had hoped to stay off a case that required me to go under until at least after the wedding, but it didn’t look like that was going to happen.
It had been a month since I proposed, and things had been good with Amber. We’d been talking more and our problems from before seemed to fade into the distance. I’d spent more time at home, and as we talked about our future, it felt like we actually had one.
“Wanna talk about it?” Toni leaned back and stared at me. Her face didn’t give anything away, but her body language did. It was genuine concern for me, not judgement.
“I asked my girlfriend to marry me last month,” I watched as Toni blinked a few times. I hadn’t talked about Amber around her. I didn’t even know if she knew about her. She flirted with me, and I flirted back. It was harmless and kept our friendship light. I didn’t have to deal with the heavy shit with her, and I guess I’d kept Amber from her for that reason.
“I didn’t even know you had a girlfriend,” she swallowed as she looked away. She thought she was hiding her emotions, but I could read her like a book. She was embarrassed, and began fiddling with her own computer. “So, what’s wrong?”
“She gets upset when I get called onto a case that requires me to spend time away. I’ve been trying to help plan the wedding, and I got orders this morning that I have to attend a briefing tomorrow. I’m getting sent in to help ATF with an arms case,” I rubbed my forehead before pinching the bridge of my nose.
“I know,” she murmured. “I’m attending that meeting too."
This was just great. In the course of five minutes I’d managed to make things awkward with my partner, the one person who’s had my back, and now it looked like we’d be going undercover on the same case. As if things couldn’t get any worse, I was now going to have to explain this to my fiancée tonight. I have no idea how I’m going to tell her, or how she’s going to react. What am I saying, I know exactly how she’s going to react.
“Sorry?” Toni grimaced. “I don’t really know what to say. I gave up dating when I graduated from the academy. Very few people understand what we do, and those that do are usually taken.”
“Yeah, it’s not your problem. I’ll figure it out,” I ended the conversation before going back to my stewing.
ooooooooo
When I left the station, I went directly to Amber’s. We’d made plans to go over our menu for the reception tonight, and I was planning to stay at her place. Our friends thought we were nuts rushing into everything. I’d been told on more than one occasion to slow down. I mean, we just got engaged last month but we didn’t want to wait. It was already February. We’d picked June to get married, and I was doing everything I could to help Amber get the planning done. So far, we’d picked a venue, ordered flowers, picked out invitations, and decided on our colors. Other than food, and getting her dress, we were pretty much done with the big decisions. Telling her tonight about leaving was not going to go well, I could just feel it.
I stopped and picked up her favorite Chinese takeout along with a bottle of wine on my way before preparing to drop the proverbial ball. As I made my way up the stairs to her apartment, I gave myself a mental pep talk. I needed to just rip the Band-Aid off and tell her, but I really didn’t want to fight tonight. We’d been doing so well lately, but my fear should have told me that we weren’t ready for marriage.
“You’re early,” Amber smiled as I walked through the door and took in what I was carrying, “and you brought my favorite.”
“I did,” I smiled as I stared at her. She was shifting from foot to foot and chewing on her lip. “What’s wrong?” I set the bag I was carrying on the table and grabbed her hands.
“Don’t be mad,” she murmured as she glanced at a pile of papers nearby.
“Amber,” I sucked in a deep breath before forging on, “is everything ok?”
“Everything’s great,” she smiled but then averted her eyes.
“What are you hiding?” I bent my knees to look her in the eyes and finally saw her give in.
“I have to go away for work next week. There’s a convention in California. My boss wants me to attend. I’ll be gone for three weeks,” she chewed her lip as her eyes searched mine. “Say something.”
“I’ll miss you,” I smiled softly thinking this was the perfect lead in to my news. If she was away, she wouldn’t be sitting here missing me while I was on the case. Hopefully, I’d be able to wrap it up around the time she got back.
“You’re not mad?” her head tipped to the side as she assessed me.
“No, it’s work. Why would I be mad?” she stared at me for a few more beats before I saw the tenseness completely leave her body. “I have something I need to tell you too. I was planning to wait, but I guess now is as good a time as any.”
“You got a case, didn’t you?” she sighed.
“Briefing is tomorrow. My partner and I are going in together,” I nodded.
“I knew something was up when you showed up with my favorites. What’s the case for?” she opened the bag on the table and began setting the containers out.
“You know I can’t tell you that,” I gripped the back of my neck.
“I figured, but I wanted to try,” she shrugged before shuffling into the kitchen to grab some forks.
“I’ll be fine, and when I get back we’ll get married. I promise. We’ll do something quick if you want, or keep our plans. You decide. We’ll do whatever you want,” I couldn’t tell by the way she stared at me if she was ok with everything or not. She nodded before handing me a fork and sitting down at the table.
“I’ll be ok. I know you can’t help it,” she sighed as she stuffed a forkful of rice in her mouth.
“You knew this was my life when you met me,” I reiterated.
“I said I was fine,” she mumbled as she continued to eat, but I could tell she was lying through her teeth. Maybe I needed to tell Dev that I’d work for him. Maybe it was time to leave the force. Maybe this assignment would be my last.