{Keira}

 

Kyle was so excited when I represented him with my idea to take his offer.

“It’s gonna be awesome,” he assured me, while I was contemplating over it.

I still wasn’t sure whether it was the right choice. Though I knew that I was left with no other options.

I was all packed up, had booked my plane ticket over a week ago, and now I was all ready for a new start at life. It was a scary and exciting feeling at once.

Kyle was already in New York, setting up with last minute details. I was gonna live on the penthouse nearly twenty minutes away from the company I was going to work for.

My cab was waiting outdoor, while I was still staying there petrified, having last minutes doubts. Should I really leave?

I mean, I’ve lived in Seattle for as long as I can remember, and starting over on a new place is a little bit concerning.

Dragging my final luggage along, and locking the door to my house, I feel like what I’m doing is just wrong. It’s not like I know everything will be alright there in New York. And besides, I’m afraid Kyle is going to start asking me to get back together again. And I don’t want that. Because I know him. He’s going to do something to mess it up again and at the end we’ll find ourselves regretting everything.

“Is everything alright?” asks the driver, who’s noticed my inattention, since I’m staying in front of the car and not making another step forward.

“What do you do when you have doubts about something?” I’m so desperate I’m willing to take a stranger’s advice regarding my issues. “Do you step back and think it over, or do you go in and take the risk?”

“Probably the right occurrence might never come. So when I have to do something that I’m having concerns about, I dispose of it, no matter the consequences. After all, it’s better knowing how it was like, rather than wondering your entire life about it.”

Well, it’s not like I could think of anything better myself. So I let him take care of my luggage, and hop inside the car.

“I know it’s not my business, but it seems like you’re doing something you’ve never done before.” He arranges the mirror to take a look at me.

“Well, I’m going to start a new life in New York. And I’ve never lived anywhere outside Seattle before.”

“New York is nice.” He comforts me. “You’re going to like it there.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I’ve been going through a lot of troubles lately to actually make me think that there won’t be any in the future.”

“Well, you never know.”

“Yeah,” I mumble and look out the window.

Everything screams that I’m uncomfortable. And I don’t want to be like that anymore. I put my head against the glass and think of when life was so rudimentary and nice.

Look at me now. I’m crumbling, trying to gather the pieces.

If I make a mental inventory, I’d come to the resolution that this all started out when Cason made an appearance into my life.

Why did I have to get along with his offer to join him to his house? I mean, sure I didn’t screw him that day, but I made him trace me down and had him control me as it pleased him.

 

 

When I make it into the airport and am waiting on the lounge peacefully, I spot someone that I think I know.

“Dustin?” I look at him, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I’m doing what every human being does in an airport.” He smiles. “I’m traveling. What about you.”

“I’m going to New York.” I mumble. “For business.”

“No kidding.” He looks surprised this time. “That’s where I’m headed. Though in my case it’s about pleasure.”

“Well, of course it is,” I tell him and we join into laughter.

“So what happened at the party?” he asks after a second of silence. “I didn’t spot you anywhere after I left you.”

“I’m sorry.” I remember everything that happened, how I wanted to get out and how Cason lured me to stay and fuck him. “I just wasn’t feeling like it and decided to head out.”

“You’re officially the first person who’s ever felt like that in my party. Should I feel offended?” he asks playfully.

“Well, I’d suggest you didn’t take this personally.”

“Okay, then.” He shrugs boyishly, and he’s so cute. The fact that he’s Carson’s friend is not a good motive for me to be around him, but I decide to disregard this fact. After all, I can’t let that man have this effect on me anymore. He ruined my life and everything on it, but now I’m about to start a new one. I’m going to be away from him, so it’s about time that I started to forget about him once and for all.

There are plenty of people, encumbered into their own agendas and itineraries and for the first time in weeks I don’t feel left out. I don’t feel like I don’t belong here anymore. I’m starting to feel normal again and gather my life piece by piece.

“So what kind of business are you taking off with?” he asks, and takes a sip at his coffee. I look at mine, which has remained untouched since I saw him. Maybe I should drink it as long as it’s still warm.

“There’s this design company and they’re making me an interior design executive.”

“Wow, Keira, congratulations. That’s amazing.” He tells me. “But why New York? Wasn’t Seattle doing it for you anymore?”

I’m starting to figure whether he has any insidious sight upon all this. But it seems like he doesn’t. Which is weird, considering that he’s Cason’s best mate.

“It’s just how things turned out for me.” I decide not to let out too much.

“Well, New York is nice. But Seattle is definitely not going to feel the same without you.”

“Aww, thanks.” Is he hitting on me or something? Because that would just be weird. “What about you? What kind of pleasures are you seeking in New York?” I decide to switch the conversation. I don’t want to talk about me anymore because it’s making me uncomfortable.

“Oh, I just brought a new apartment in New York and still have not thrown any party in it. And that’s why I’m here?”

“No way! You’re here to kick off the new house by throwing a savage party on it. Now that’s some serious travelling motivation you got going on there.”

“Well, more serious than yours.” We laugh again, and it’s so cute.

“It was nice to meet you here, anyway.” I tell, genuinely. “I mean, I wasn’t the best guest to your party, but it wasn’t intentional. And I’m glad I get to tell you this here, now.”

“Well, you can make it up to me.”

“How so?”

“By participating to the next party I’m throwing.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I’m sort of going to use the time to get adjusted to the new reality.”

“Then that’s exactly what you need. Come on, you are going to start over on a new city. You need to know knew people. And that’s where my party comes over.”

“You’re sort of making a point there. But I don’t know. I’m gonna go there to work, and I’m not sure how much time I’d have to, you know, celebrate.”

“Then, what kind of life is that?” His eyes are piercing into mine. “Keira, no matter what you tell yourself, you need this. You need to enjoy life. You deserve it.”

Oh, Dustin. If only you knew!

Once we’re on board, I adjust myself to my seat. Dustin is on the other part of the plane, of course. He’s traveling business class, while I’m on the economical one.

I put my earphones on, and listen to every song there is on my tablet. The powerful voice of Paramore springs through my ears as I’m listening to Still Into You. I love that song. I prepared this entire playlist very carefully, knowing that flights are always so boring, and I would need something to keep me in the mood.