{Keira}

 

I look at the woman in front of me and cannot believe it. Ominousness has taken its tall and disaster keeps chasing me. No, this can’t be happening!

“I’m sorry, can you repeat?” she was very clear and smooth-spoken, but the message she just delivered is unbelievable.

“We cannot give you this position. We realized you’re not adequately qualified for it.”

“And you realized that just now? After I packed all my life and came here?”

“I’m so sorry.” She looks at me with inexorable eyes. At some point it’s not her fault. She’s just delivering this message for whomever has assigned it to her. But still, it’s not fair.

I head out, realizing that they’ve already made up their mind and there’s nothing that I would say or do that can change that.

I pick up my phone, needing to make a call.

“Kyle,” I mumble, concerned. “Can you explain to me what just happened?”

“Keira, I’m sorry. I just learned about it.”

“No, you can’t just get away with only saying that you’re sorry. You had me come here, Kyle, dreaming of a new life, and what do I get for it?”

“Babe, it wasn’t my decision. I tried to talk to my father. I don’t know what’s gotten into him. He wouldn’t listen to me. I mean, before that, it was already settled. You were the one entitled to that position.”

“This is just unbelievable.” My hand goes from my face to someplace undecided in the air. “Why does this keep happening to me?”

“I’ll try to talk to my dad again. I’m just not sure where his mind’s at, right now.”

“You know what, just leave it. I don’t know what I was thinking to come here and deal with this joke. Kyle,” I say, “after all the things you’ve done to me, this is by far the worst.”

“But—”

I hang up and realize that I’ve took it all out on him. But I feel just like my world is shattered to pieces. And I don’t know what to do anymore.

I feel like I’ve been played so poorly. And I’m not even able to pick up the pieces. I’m that hurt.

 

 

This penthouse is just crappy, anyway. Just too little too pricey, so incommodious for a normal life. Just like every other house for rent on NYC. This city is a giant mess. So maybe it’s for the better that I won’t spend the rest of my life here and get back to Seattle. I mean, Seattle is my home, and despite its flaws, I will always love it.

I’m looking at a card that Dustin gave me while on airport. It’s his home address at New York. He insisted I should go to his party, but I told him that I’d be swamped with work.

Well, here I am, swamped with boredom.

I didn’t unpack, and it’s good that I didn’t. Because I’m just gonna go back anyway. But while I’m at it, I might enjoy the little pleasures NYC has to offer.

I try to pick up something suitable for a party and get ready for it. Tonight I just need to take my mind off of thing. Tonight I want to tell them all to fuck off and get encumbered into messy partying.

 

 

I check the address twice before I decide to go in. You could hear the loud music even in the hallways and I don’t know how the neighbors are going to deal with this.

Well, come to think of it, it’s Dustin we’re talking about. He probably has invited the neighbors over and have them celebrate raucously along with him.

When I’m inside his apartment, I notice that it’s spacious and not at all like the pitiful penthouse I was assigned to. There are people all around. Caterers with trays filled with drinks and food. And crazy music on the background. He sure knows how to party.

“Keira, you’re here,” Dustin approaches and gives me a hug with one hand, while the other is occupied with a drink. “I’m glad you made it. This party would not be the same without you.”

“Oh, come on.” I feel like he’s always this nice and it’s staring not to sound genuine.

“Please, make yourself comfortable. Have a drink,” he offers and grabs a glass from the nearest tray. He gives the glass to me and I take it hesitantly.

“What is it?” I ask. I look at the liquid inside and realize that I need this. I need to get my mind off of things and maybe this would do. I mean, I’d never know if I didn’t try, right?

“Vodka tonic… I guess.” He shrugs and we laugh together. I sniff it out, and the content does not satisfy me.

“Just drink it.” He tells me, noticing my indecision.

I comply and take a sip…hmm, more like an entire swig.

“Wow, this girl knows how to party,” he yells as loud as he can, noticing my empty glass. Yep, I look it all in one gulp. Thirsty me!

This time around, he does not leave me alone. “Don’t you have guest to show around?”

“Well, they can show themselves around. I won’t be able to take my eyes off of you.” He tells me and I gape at him awkwardly. “I mean, to make sure that you won’t take off or something.” He adds to break the awkwardness in between.

“Oh, I won’t this time. Promise.” I open my palm as I pledge.

“Well, you look nice. I forgot to mention.” He tells me. And somehow it feels nice to have someone compliment you after a very, very grumpy day.

After a few seconds, the music is muffled down by what it sounded like a riot. It seemed like someone was making a mess to his apartment, since pieces of shattering glasses and guys’ guffaws filled the room.

“You should probably take a look over there.” I suggest and he seems to be thinking the same thing. “I’ll be right back.”

“Yeah, no worries.” I let him go as I drench into my newfound passion. Drinking.

I grab another vodka tonic or whatever this is from the nearest tray and take it all down in one gulp. Somehow I don’t let the caterer go, as I grab another one and empty the glass in a sec. It feels like his tray is getting empty, since I am holding the last filled glass on my hand.

“You should probably take care of them,” I tell him, regarding the drinks. He should come up with other filled glasses, since I’m just realizing how nice it is to drench yourself into drinking and forgetting about everything about you.

It feels like right now the world is just so futile and meaningless. Like all of the things in it don’t matter anymore. All that’s important is the next drink. And my biggest issue at the moment is an empty glass.

Like that’s just so horrible.

I’ve lost counts of how many drinks I’ve had when Dustin comes closer.

“Wow, I think you’ve found your new passion.” He looks at all the empty glasses on the table.

“I should’ve never come here,” I tell him, and feel so dizzy.

“What are you talking about? It seems to me like you’re having a lot of fun.”

“Well, I’m not feeling so good,” I hold my head with my hand feeling like I’ve lost my equilibrium. “I think I should probably go home.”

“I can’t leave you go like that. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“What would possibly happen?”

“Well, you’re in New York, and drunk. I’ve got a pretty long list of latent possibilities.”

“But I can’t stay here anymore, I think the loud music is starting to get at me.” And really. I feel like the noise is starting to pulsate on my head leaving me restless.

“Come here,” he holds my with his arm and helps me get up.

“What are you doing?” I’m really drunk to realize what kind of motivation he’s up to.

“I’m gonna take you to my bedroom.”

“Oh, you’re such a fuckboy,” I mumble and laugh, while he’s having a hard time to keep me balanced.

“You’re going to rest. It’s quieter there.”

We move through the noisy crowd and into his bedroom. The walls keep the music blocked up, but still you can hear muffled sounds of a nearby party. But I think that as tired as I am, I could go straight to sleep and ignore it all.

He arranges me to his bed, fixes the pillow underneath my head, and tucks me into his blanket. Oh, it smells good, like just cleaned sheets.

“Where are you going?” I ask and hold him by the arms when he’s about to move away. I look at him, my head fixated on the pillow, and he seems confused.

“I’ve got a party to host.” He tells me.

“What about me? Am I not important to you?” I realize that I’m still not letting go of his arm.

“Well, of course you are, but I figured you’d go to sleep now.”

“Oh, I don’t think I could. This place is unfamiliar, so stay. Until I drowse off.”

“Hmm,” he ponders for a couple of seconds and then says, “okay.”

He hops up into the bed and lies close to me, back rested against the black leather on top of me, while I’m still getting comfort on my pillow. I feel so empty and lonely in a foreign room, I hold his hand and put my head over his arm.

“I’m scared,” I mumble.

“Scared of what?” he asks.

“Of the future. Life. You.”

“Me? You don’t have to be scared of me.”

“Well, I’m scared you’ll go and I’ll find myself terrified of this room.”

He takes a look around the room and seems as if he’s come to determine there is nothing that seems scary on it.

“I won’t go anywhere,” he assures me.

I stretch his arm along to tell him that I need him to stay closer. He leans toward me and I feel his breath on my forehead. I move my head sideways to meet his eyes. I’m looking deep into them and feel like I’m lost into mystery and allure.

Next thing I know, his lips are tangled against mine and I give in to his kiss.