{Keira}
“He did what to you?” Maelis looks at me with goofy eyes.
“Um, blocked the way through the door and made me say that I like him?” I shrug.
“No, the other part.”
“Oh, yeah. He kissed me against my will.”
“Did you kiss him back?”
“Hmm, well, I mean it’s not like I was in a mood to put up a fuss about it.”
“You so kissed him. Admit it. You like him. I kinda give him props for all the trouble he put you to, just so that you can face your fear.”
“Hmm?” I giggle. “Why would I fear him?”
“Because he’s hot, he’s your boss and you have a huge crush on him.”
“I do not have a crush on him.”
“Mm-hmm. Keep telling yourself that.”
“How would I like him? I despise him. The man is unhinged. Really! My life was just so easy when he wasn’t a part of it.” I grab my skinny latte and head out of the coffee shop. Maelis follows me.
“I’m just saying…” she shrugs. “Besides. It’s not forbidden to like him, I mean, am I right?”
“No, but there’re just so many reasons. To begin with, a) he’s my boss, b) he’s a jerk and c) the man is legit crazy. I mean, you can’t find one of those in the store. Aren’t all these enough for you?”
“You know what they say; the restricted honey is the best kind of honey.”
“Yeah, no. Nobody has ever said that in the history of humanity.”
“Well, they should. I mean, your statement is not accurate. I just said that. Which means that your prediction does not apply.”
My head is just so blurred with all sorts of things, starting with my final course assignment, that I have to hand over in a couple of days, and I’m nowhere near finishing it. What should I do? I’ve worked so hard for it, and literally it took me dealing with a nutcase that is my former employer, Mrs. Kensington, just so that I could have an insider sight over interior design. And how did that work out for me? I’m upgrading form one crazy boss, to a crazier one.
There’s one thing disorienting me at the moment. Ah, no; besides Cason. My actual concern is standing right in front of me. My ex. Now what are the chances?
“Oh, no!” I squint horribly in front of me.
“Relax, girl. It’s up to you whether you want to dive in to the fun or not. It’s not that big of a deal.” Maelis tries to calm me, since she still has not spotted my real concern in front of me.
“It’s Kyle.” I give her the hint.
“Where?” she looks around, confused. And then her eyes get to detect my ex just a few yards down the street, looking at us with excitement. “Oh, yeah.” She mumbles. “Has he been stalking us?” Maelis frowns.
I wouldn’t put it past him if he had. But I don’t tell her that. I don’t want her to get just as crept out by him as I am. At least, one of us getting ticked is enough.
Meanwhile, Kyle has managed to approach us. He leans in for a hug as soon as he’s grumbling in front of me. I mean, I tried not to send him any familiar vibes (after all we’ve been through, how could I?) but while he has decided to snub my giving him the once over, I mean, I don’t want to embarrass him in front of the all these strange people, so I, in a cringe-worthy way, hug him back…very awkwardly.
“Keira,” he smiles, and I’m still having trouble figuring where he gathered all this familiarity from. We’ve been apart for, like, months now. It’s only fair to say we’re not that close…nor close in any other way or form possible. “I’ve been meaning to catch up with you.”
In a normal conversation, I’d have said that I did too, but nothing about this screams normal. So instead, I just look at him, weirded out.
“Why haven’t you responded to any of my calls? I’ve been texting you like a thousand times.”
Now Maelis looks at him stumblingly. He notices. “Hey there, Maelis.” He says dryly. He was never so keen on her anyway.
“I’m sorry, Keira, are you being bothered in any way?” she steps up for me, ‘cause that’s what friends do. But as much I do not want to have anything to do with my ex right now, the decent side of me doesn’t want to make him feel left out. I mean, I don’t want to give him the wrong impression. I don’t want us to get back together, or catch up with him on anything. But he came all the way down here for me. The least I can do is give him just a few seconds so he can explain his reasons. Although I doubt that he has anything reasonable to say.
“Would you please give us a little time?” I ask her mildly.
“Yeah, sure. As long as you’re comfortable with it. I’ll be down at the mall. Find me there.” She smiles and runs away.
Now it’s only me and Kyle and the awkwardness in between.
“So, Kyle, what is it that you want now?” I don’t mean to sound rude, but it’s hard not to.
“Babe, I came here to apologize.” He says apologetically.
“Yeah, you’ve already done that multiple times.”
“Also to ask for a second chance.”
“That would be definitely not the second one.”
“Anyway. I’m sorry Keira, for everything that I did to you. Also, I’m sorry that I didn’t treat you with the respect that a woman like you deserves.”
I try to succumb under suppress that part of me that is melting by these words. I know I can’t fall for this shit. Not again. Not after the multiple flunked attempts he’d make to fixing this. To fixing us. I can’t let myself be manipulated to his beautifully deceptive words. Although, there’s this part of me that undeniably wishes this was true. That this would’ve worked out for us right off the bat. But I won’t allow myself be involved into this vortex again.
“Kyle, you know that I care about you. And, although I try to deny it to myself, there’s this part of me that will always care about you. But that’s not on the way that you’d like to. Why can’t you just let go?”
“Because…how could I? You know how unreasonable it is to ask someone to forget about you? It’s just impossible.”
“Maybe you should’ve told yourself that before you decided to screw my best friend, Kristen.”
“That was one time.”
“Oh, and what about that one time when you were flirting with our waitress in front of me?” Just thinking about all the things he did, makes me wanna puke. And this is a great reminder of how not to let myself throw into his vortex of sweet nothings.
“How could you even tell I was flirting with her?”
“Because you asked for her number, remember? When she came with our bill.”
“Ughh…” he groans at a loss for words. “But, anyway, why don’t we let the past behind us? I mean, yes, I did. I screwed up. And you didn’t deserve any of this. But, I’ll do better from now on. I swear.”
“It’s just that I’m tired, Kyle. I’m trying to get my life together, and everything seems so chaotic. And I just don’t want another extra disaster in my life. This, what I’m dealing with right now, is just enough.”
He looks at me like a little puppy desperate for attention. He looks cute and all, and my heart melts. But I just remind myself what Maels told me when I was crumbling on my knees (literally) trying to get my life together. It’s about time you started thinking about you, Keira, she told me, about your wishes, and not just anybody else’s. And she was right. I mean, I should start thinking about me for once.
But it’s so hard to get out of my own ways. I’m such a softie. And these are her terms. And if I let people get in on me like this, I would never get what I want. Would never be happy. But first off, I need to realize, what is it that I really want?
“How about this? Since you’re being mild and all. I’m willing to give you another chance. But just as friends. We can catch up sometimes over coffees. But I don’t mean to give you the wrong impression. I would never ask for more. So I think it’s about time you came to terms with that.”
He seems to be pondering the question for a moment, eyes squinting, and he looks so adorable. Looking at him; it explains a lot of why I’ve been willing to give him that many second chances. Finally he realizes that that’s the best deal he’d get out of me anyway.
“Okay, just friends.” He smiles. “You’ve no idea. I’m truly sorry about everything I did, Keira.”
“I know, Kyle,” I whisper. “I know.”
And so he grasps me into a warm hug which feels like it’s just what I needed all this time. And succumbed into his clutch as I am, I try to start a new page in my life.
Hmm, come to think of it…more of like a chapter.