“Eat your pie.”
I looked back at Thad and then shoved a spoonful of the apple pie into my mouth. My eyes snapped shut and I moaned as the flavors burst in my mouth. The crust was crisp and the apples just soft enough. The ice cream on top was homemade.
“This is amazing.” I licked my lips and dove into the pie with vigor. Within a minute, my plate was completely clean.
I opened my eyes to find Thad watching me with heat in his eyes. He hadn’t touched his pie and I didn’t know what I found more appealing in that moment, him or the pie. I knew which was safer, though, so I reached across and grabbed his pie.
He watched me eat and shifted in his seat. His phone rang, saving us from delving into whatever weirdness was growing between us.
I watched as he answered it and spoke to whoever had called. Staring at him, I found myself daydreaming about the way his hand felt on my ass when he’d carried me. It was the grip of a man who was sure of himself. He held me like he had a right to, and it should’ve pissed me off.
I swallowed the last bite of his pie and then pushed the plate away and took a long sip of the ice water I’d ordered. I needed to get back to the house and take a long cold shower and then reset my mind.
I couldn’t be too hard on myself because I doubted that the most devout nun in the world could stare at Thad for too long and not get a little hot under the collar.
I winced. What was I thinking? I shook my head and scrubbed my hands down my face. Nuns? I was losing it.
“That was my contact at the FBI. They got our ferry friend and took him in. They’ll let me know if they get anything important from him.” He stared at me and tilted his head to the side like a puppy. “How do you want to play this?”
I choked on the water, causing some of it to spill from my mouth and run down my chin and chest. Sputtering, I stared at Thad with wide eyes. How did I want to play what? Had he read my mind?
“How do you want to play this thing with Sallisaw? Offense or defense? I normally wouldn’t even ask, but you’re a cop. Your opinion on how to go forward matters.”
My face burned red and I shook my head. “Not a cop anymore.”
He did another head tilt. “You’re on leave. The files didn’t say that you were quitting.”
I pushed the plates away from me and wiped my mouth. “It’s over. I don’t want to be involved with the case. If Crimson Security goes after Sallisaw, it’ll be without me. I just want to live on the beach and forget everything.”
His eyes narrowed, but he didn’t say anything.
“We’d better get back. I’m an ass for not going straight back.”
“He’s an ass.”
Sighing, I stood up from the table and shrugged. “I’m an ass, he’s an ass. Whatever. Let’s just go. I didn’t even think about leaving dairy in the truck while we were in here.”
Thad smiled at me then, a disarming smile that revealed two tiny dimples on either side of his mouth. He dipped his head slightly and looked up at me through his long eyelashes. “But wasn’t the pie worth it?”
My stomach fluttered and something lower fluttered and then my eyelashes fluttered. My lips parted and I heard a soft whimper squeak past my frozen mouth. Instantly, I stilled and heat shot up my neck and consumed my face. I thought about stuttering out an excuse for the sound, but decided that running would be better.
Before I could even get past the truck, Thad had his arm around my waist and was gently leading me to my side. He opened the door and gestured for me to climb in. “You’re an interesting woman, Rain Willows.”
I motioned for him to turn away and waited until he did to climb into the truck. “Just shut up.”
He turned back around and leaned over me to grab the seatbelt, putting his face dangerously close to mine. “As you wish.”
I wanted to punch him. I knew that he knew that I didn’t wish for him to shut up. Against my better judgment, and my morals, I wished that he’d grab me and take me right there. My body was being traitorous. I’d never been a cheater and I wasn’t going to start with some oversized bodyguard. I was going to go back to Kevin and everything was going to be okay.
I crossed my arms over my chest and stared out of the windshield, determined to ignore him.
“I’ve been thinking about bringing Tank down here. I never get to work jobs where he’s close by and he’s trained to guard, so he could be extra backup.”
“Extra?”
He grinned and then flexed his arms. “You know, after the guns.”
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “Bring the dog. Maybe he’ll also be trained to bite you when you say stupid shit.”
“Nope. Sorry.”
I stayed quiet the rest of the way back to the house, deciding that talking to Thad was dangerous, too. When he parked at the curb and then opened my door for me before I could even get my seatbelt off, I glared at him.
“Why are you giving me that look?” He stood in the way, blocking my exit. His wide shoulders seemed to fill all the space around him and there was only him to look at.
“I’m not giving you a look. Get out of the way.”
He stepped back, allowing me enough room to get down, but not without brushing against him. “You’re cranky.”
I pressed my hands to his chest and pushed him back another step. The heat from his chest felt warmer than the sun and the solid wall of muscle I touched was more than a little alluring. “I’m going to call Cash again.”
“For what?”
“For this. You’re flirting with me.”
Thad grinned suddenly and tugged at a strand of my hair. “I am.”
I ground my teeth together and slid past him. “Stay outside. I don’t want to see you for a while.”
“Fine, but I’m coming in for dinner. You ate my pie and I’m still hungry.” His eyes scorched me as they trailed from my eyes to my mouth.
I swallowed. Instead of a witty reply, I snapped my mouth shut and grabbed a handful of bags from the backseat.
Thad did a quick run-through of the house and then went outside to make more rounds. I saw him walking towards Mack’s and was hit with a bolt of envy. With Kevin at my back, watching a TV show on his laptop, I couldn’t help but wish I was with Mack and Thad. I knew they’d be having more fun than me.
I simmered the entire time I cooked. More than the pot of noodles and more than the homemade alfredo sauce, I simmered until I felt like my eyes were boiling in my head. I kept finding myself frozen in front of a trivial task, thinking of how much I’d like to yell at Kevin for not helping. When I’d worked, we’d ordered out. When I was healing, we’d ordered out. When I was trying to be someone different, I pretended I was Martha fucking Stuart and I cooked. It’d been so long with me pretending I was someone else, that Kevin didn’t think twice about demanding I cook.
In reality, even if we were a healthy couple, spending my entire afternoon and night cooking for him when he would probably only stay until the next morning would be ridiculous. He didn’t want to spend time with me. He was just doing what he was “supposed” to do.
I knew our relationship was a wreck, but having to see it through someone else’s eyes was like turning on a light in a rundown apartment complex. I could suddenly see all the bugs and the cracks they scattered to.
I didn’t know what to do. Kevin had been with me through the attack and recovery, but I couldn’t look at him that day without getting angry. I kept picturing myself slapping the back of his head and then hissing at him. I was going feral from being in the kitchen for so long, cooking his three-course meal.
Right before dinner was finished I looked up at Kevin and found him scowling at his computer. Choosing to ignore whatever had upset him, I called to him. “Will you do me a favor and go next door to tell Thad and Mack that dinner is ready?”
He didn’t even look up. “Can’t you do it? I’ve got a patient messaging me and they’re going to ruin all the hard work I’ve done by getting in a tanning bed. It’s an emergency.”
“I’m still cooking, Kevin.”
He waved me off. “Just go when you’re done, then. Why are they joining us, anyway?”
I slammed a pot onto the counter and turned the oven off. “Because I want them to.”
Striding out of the house, I ran into Thad. His arms went around me and caught me against his chest. Something about being held so suddenly melted my anger and just left me tired and sad.
“Where are you going so fast?” Thad shifted and then we were at the side of the house, away from the door.
I sighed. “Dinner’s ready. I was coming to tell you and Mack.”
“You look beat. Why didn’t you just send your boyfriend?”
Hearing that word sent me straightening so I wasn’t in Thad’s arms anymore. The loss sucked, but I had to be real with myself. Thad wasn’t mine to be held by and I was being a shitty girlfriend. “He’s talking to a patient. It’s fine. Will you tell Mack it’s ready?”
He rested his palms on my shoulders and sighed so heavily that his breath blew my hair around. “I’ll tell him. But why don’t we sneak over and have a pre-dinner cocktail?”
I squinted my eyes at him. “You’re going to have a cocktail?”
With a boyish smile, he shook his head. “I don’t drink. You should, though.”
I shook my head and stepped back, letting his hands fall away from me. “I’d better get back inside and make sure dinner isn’t falling apart without me.”
Thad nodded. “Okay.”
I hurried back inside and went back to the stove with shaking hands. What the hell was I doing?
I got dinner assembled and put on the table before grabbing a beer from the fridge for myself. Taking a long pull of it, I looked up as Mack came in with Thad behind him. Biscuit trailed at their feet, bouncing around in excitement.
“What’s he doing in here?”
Mack grinned at me. “Don’t talk about Thad like that, boy.”
“I meant the dog.”
I turned up the beer and downed the rest of it. Resisting the urge to burp, I dropped the bottle into the recycling bin and blew out a breath. “Okay, time to eat.”
I put down a bowl of dog food for Biscuit and then settled in at the table. Mack dug in and fixed himself a big plate. Thad followed him, fixing a plate for me and then himself. I hated that the small gesture meant so much to me. We all looked up to see Kevin still on the couch, his face focused on his laptop.
“Kevin. Dinner’s ready.”
He didn’t look up at me. “Just a minute, Rain. I’m almost finished here.”
I stabbed my fork into my plate and twirled a big bite of pasta around it. Shoving it into my mouth, I met Mack’s eyes and nearly choked when he stuck his tongue out in Kevin’s direction.
Thad patted my back with a little too much gentleness to his touch, so it almost felt like a stroke, and Mack just grinned. I swallowed the bite of food and dropped my head back to stare up at the ceiling.
Everything was just a little bit off. It was just enough for my anxiety to kick up. I sucked in a slow breath and then blew it out just as slowly.
“Okay, done.” Kevin came over to the table and sat down. His voice sounded pinched as he observed that we’d started without him. “I was just a couple of minutes.”
I brought my head back to a normal angle and sent him a look that’d been cold enough to freeze criminals once upon a time. “Eat your pasta, Kevin.”
He frowned, but scooped a small portion of food onto his plate. Taking a neat bite, he frowned even deeper. “Is the parmesan authentic?”