“Time for your walk, Ms. Willows.” Reba, one of the day shift nurses, sang as she hurried into my room. “How are you feeling?”
I eased myself to the edge of the bed and forced a smile. “Like I got shot in the chest.”
She chuckled and wagged her finger at me. “So funny. It’s no wonder that beautiful man keeps coming by to see you.”
I frowned then, unable to hide behind the fake smile I usually wore for them. Thad, the beautiful man, had been coming by to see me, alright, all at times when I was asleep. I’d seen his back leaving more times than I could count, but never his front coming.
“Aw, honey, don’t look like that. Something’s going on in his pretty little head. You know how men are. Can’t think past the one thought in their head at a time.”
I knew why he was avoiding me. I knew it and I hated it. He felt guilty. Ramsey had flipped his lid when he found out what’d happened, and he’d gone off on Thad. I was shocked when he told me he’d even punched Thad. Thad’s response was just to take it. He told Ramsey that he deserved whatever he got because he let me get hurt.
I was beyond frustrated with him. I still didn’t have a phone and it’d been weeks since I’d seen his face. I wanted to talk to him. I missed him. Yet, he was hiding from me.
I walked with Reba, part of the recovery process, and then ended up back in my room, sitting in the chair by the window that Thad sat in when he came. The nurses told me all about him. Mainly about how stunning he was, but also about how sad he was, how he looked when he watched over me, how he hovered and made them tell him everything they were doing, how he was never too far away.
It was infuriating. I just wanted to talk to him.
Ramsey had explained everything to me. How after I escaped Sallisaw the first time, Sallisaw had ended up in Thailand, undergoing massive reconstructive surgeries that surgeons in the U.S. wouldn’t touch because he wasn’t ready for them. He’d commanded his organization between surgeries, while under massive amounts of pain meds.
His “family” didn’t like messing with a cop, but they went along with it, killing witnesses that I’d needed and doing everything they could to make my life hell. It had continued on Faint Island. Sallisaw had a long reach, but it was fading and he knew it. He actually showed up on the island after we left it and trashed the place. He’d been furious. Furious enough to slaughter a large number of his own men.
He’d lost power quickly after. His gang realized that he would destroy them all because of his obsession with me. They granted him one last gift, my location, gained from an Instagram post, and then sent him on his way with a threat that if he ever showed his face again, they’d kill him.
I had helped bring down one of the biggest criminals in the U.S., accidentally. After Sallisaw tried to shoot Thad and I stepped in the way, Thad killed him. Sallisaw was no more.
I would’ve gotten more joy out of it if I didn’t feel like crying constantly. I was lonely. I’d grown used to Thad’s company in a very short amount of time, but it was true. I missed him and I felt like I should’ve felt when Kevin dumped me, like my boyfriend had just dumped me. Only the boyfriend kept coming up, hinting that he cared about me, but wouldn’t be with me.
I would be free to leave in a few days and I had no clue what I was doing. It didn’t scare me much anymore, though. I knew what I didn’t want to do and that was something to start with. I knew where I wanted to be, at least part time. I knew who I wanted to be around. I had a savings account that would last me a little while longer while I figured it out.
Reba came back in with my daily pain meds and I smiled and took them from her. She handed me a cup of water and then glanced up at the TV. “I love this show. I know it’s awful, but I can’t help but have a weakness for reality TV.”
While she wasn’t looking, I slipped the pills into my hand and drained the cup. Handing it back to her, I looked up at the screen and nodded. “It’s addictive. There’s been nothing else on but the news, my whole stay. And considering the news these days, I’ll stick with the Kardashians.”
She grinned and walked towards the door. “You getting in bed soon? It’s about time for your nap. I’ll ask Dr. Kord if he’ll lower your dosage soon. I know how much you hate the drowsy feeling they give you.”
I stood up and eased my way to the bed. “Thanks, Reba. I appreciate it.”
I laid in wait, counting the minutes as I watched the door for Thad. He always came when I was knocked out from the pain meds I took after lunch and I was going to catch him.
Like clockwork, after thirty minutes, he crept into the room and silently settled his big body into the chair across from me. I looked at him through slitted eyes, studying him before letting on that I was awake, needing time to just look at him.
He looked exhausted. There were dark bags under his eyes and he seemed thinner. His beard had grown out and his hair needed a cut. The nurses had been right. He looked sad.
Unable to pretend I was sleeping anymore, I sat up and stared at him. “If you make a run for it, I’ll chase you. I’m not hooked up to anything anymore and I could do it. Do you want me to chase you around this hospital?”
He jumped, startled, and then stood up.
“I’m serious, Thad.”
His eyes filled with tears and he turned to the window. “I’m sorry.”
My heart ached for him and I went to him, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind, just hugging him. Happily hugging him.
“Rain, don’t. You’re going to hurt yourself.” He tried to ease away, but I locked my arms around him.
“No, I’m fine. Stop fighting me. Stop running, stop hiding, stop all of this.” I pressed my cheek against his back and breathed him in. My heart was beating fast, too fast. I knew that if I didn’t calm down, Reba would be in to check on me. The heart monitor I wore was a tattle tale.
“Fuck. I knew you’d catch me eventually.”
“Why were you hiding? I wanted to see you more than anything.”
“Because I fucked up.”
I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “Can we talk? If this is over, I just want to know so I can convince myself of it. I don’t want it to be, but if you can’t get past this, then I need you to stop coming.”
He pulled away from me and sat abruptly in the chair. Looking up at me, he held his hand out. “Will it hurt you to sit here?”
I didn’t care if it would. I wanted to be in his lap more than anything. I eased onto his legs and curled into his chest. When he wrapped his arms around me, I felt something shift in my chest. That’s the way it’s supposed to be, my body seemed to whisper.
“I almost got you killed.”
“Technically, Sallisaw almost killed me. You didn’t do that.”
“I was supposed to be your bodyguard. It was my job to make sure you were safe. Beyond that, I’d felt a personal claim to you since the day I saw you. I was supposed to take care of you. You fought him off while I was getting shot and then you threw yourself in front of a bullet for me.”
His smell was stronger at the base of his neck and I inhaled greedily, wanting to bathe in it. “You felt a personal claim to me?”
He grunted. “Yes. I wanted you and I felt something between us. I’d never felt it before. I knew that you were mine.”
I couldn’t help the silly grin that twisted my mouth. “Ignoring all the caveman owning talk, why have you hidden from me?”
“I don’t deserve you, Rain. I almost got you killed. Do you not understand that? If I’d been paying more attention, I would’ve seen Sallisaw coming. The office called me earlier than I got the call. I was so pissed and stressed that I didn’t think about letting you go downstairs by yourself. I should’ve stayed with you, by your side.”
I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t help it. “Do you really think any of this will change what happened?”
He stopped short and blinked at me.
“Honestly. There are a million other ways it could’ve gone. You could’ve gone out first and he might’ve just shot you in the head to get you out of the way. I don’t know that I would’ve fought for my life if I saw you dead, Thad. Out of all of the way it could’ve gone, maybe me getting shot in the chest wasn’t the best way, but fuck, I don’t mind the outcome. You’re alive. I’m alive. Sallisaw is dead. The only thing wrong is you avoiding me.”
“I should’ve protected you better.”
Groaning, I cupped his face in my hands and smiled at him. “And I should’ve shot him when I had the chance. I got soft.”
“You did nothing wrong.”
“Are you leaving me?”
Thad shook his head hard. “No.”
“Are you telling me you need space away from me?”
“No.”
“Are you telling me that you’d prefer a relationship where we don’t talk and you just show up when I sleep?”
He sighed. “No.”
“Then what the fuck are you doing?” I patted his cheek a little roughly and shook my head. “I’m over you hiding. I want to be with you and I’ve been shot, so I get what I want. You know what I want?”
He looked around the room. “More flowers?”
I held his face and made him look at me. “No. No more damn flowers. I want you. I miss you. I miss looking at you and debating with myself which of your eyes I like better. I miss sitting next to you and listening to you laugh. I miss listening to you talk about your family and childhood. You’re not just punishing yourself, Thad. You’re punishing me.”
He swore and stroked his hand down my hair. “I’m sorry.”
I nodded. “You should be. Not for anything that happened that day, but for what’s been happening since. I want you back here with me, but I’m not forgiving you for being a dumbass just yet.”
“There she is. I was worried someone had taken my woman and replaced her with someone who talks about emotions and shit.”
“Your woman?”
He grinned, a heart-stopping grin with dimples and eye twinkling. “My woman.”
I groaned. “You’re a caveman and I do talk about emotions and shit sometimes. This isn’t the way to get out of the doghouse.”
“How can I get out?”
“Tell me all the nice things you want to do for me.” My heart had started racing again, but there was nothing I could do about it. Thad was back. I could see there was still darkness behind his eyes, but I’d figure out a way to help him somehow. What mattered was that he was there.
“I’ll cook for you, three meals a day, and do all of the cleaning, for however long you like.”
I pretended to think about it. “You’re going to follow me around and be my personal chef and maid?”
He leaned forward and pressed his lips to the side of my face and then whispered into my ear. “No, you’re going to move into my house.”
I sat up. “What?”
“Is that a problem?”
Reba hurried into the room. “Ms. Willows?! Mr. Brooks! No wonder the heart monitor is going crazy. You should be in bed. That medicine should’ve knocked you out.”
Thad read my guilty look and scowled at me. “You didn’t take it?”
“Ms. Willows! Don’t tell me you’re going to start giving me trouble now. You’ve been an angel.” Reba rushed around the bed and held out her hand to me. “Come on. Into bed with you and tell me where you put your medicine because I need to get you to take it. It’s for your own good. More rest and you’ll be better faster.”
I barely resisted the urge to pout as she marched me to the bed and found my pills under my water cup. Handing them to me, she stood watch until I took them.
“Now, calm down, too. Your monitor is going crazy down there. I’ll come back in a little while to check on you.”
After she left, Thad came over and smiled down at me. “You’re in trouble.”
I yawned. “No, you are.”
“Move in with me, Rain. We’ll figure it all out together.”
“You waited until I was drugged to ask me.”
“I’m not above cheating to get what I want.”
I smiled even as my eyes were fluttering closed. “Fine. You cook, you clean, you do all the sex, and don’t call me ‘woman.’”
“I do all the sex?” His laughter relaxed me even farther.
“Yeah. You’re really good at it.” I captured his hand in mine and held it against my face. “I think I love you, Thad.”
Even as my eyes flew open in panic and Thad laughed with so much joy I could’ve punched him, I knew it was true. I loved the idiot who called me his woman and laughed when I accidentally let it slip that I loved him.
Reba ran back in the room with another nurse. “Are you okay?”
Thad was pushed out of the way, still laughing, as the nurses insisted on checking me out since my heartrate had spiked so suddenly and violently. He stood behind them, his eyes on me, his grin worthy of a good smacking.
I scowled at him, angry that I’d let something so significant slip, something that I didn’t even know for sure. I had a pretty good idea, but I hadn’t been sure.
Until his grin slipped and his eyes went soft and he opened his mouth. “I don’t think. I know.”