Present Day

Three-hundred miles with a drunk and raging Alpha tied up in the back of his trunk was nothing. The man was wanted by the Tribunal for participation in omega trafficking and black market auctions, and while Zander still wasn’t sure there was a whole hell of a lot of difference between that and what Futurus was doing, he didn’t shed a tear when he dropped the son of a bitch off at the Tribunal’s doorstep for their police to handle.

On the other hand, the thirty-five mile drive back to Sawyers with the teenage Alpha his cop buddies had caught hitchhiking and asked him to take back to his parents was pure torture. Usually only Dustin’s mother was capable of inducing the kind of headache Zander had by the time he finally dropped the kid off with his grateful yet irate parents.

Zander just hoped he could get back out onto the road before he ran into anyone he knew in town. Since he’d lived in Sawyers all his life, a clean getaway was about as likely as getting struck by lightning.

“Zander!”

The Alpha cringed when he heard his best friend calling to him from across the bustling street. Dustin was the Meadowlands Pack Alpha now, and ever since he and his beloved mate, Caleb, had learned they were having their second child, he’d been on Zander’s ass to settle down and start a brood of his own.

Zander loved Dustin and Caleb like they were blood, he really did. And he couldn’t have been happier that the pair had found peace and healing in each other after the tragic accident that had claimed the life of Dustin’s twin and Caleb’s mate, Alec, and resulted in Caleb miscarrying. There had been a time when Zander was sure neither of them would ever be happy again, and their love was proof that sometimes destiny wasn’t such a prick, after all.

In his case, she was a stone cold bitch, but Dustin didn’t know the half of it, so Zander couldn’t really blame him for his meddling. Dustin knew Darren had left his fiancé to be with Greg, but he had no idea the Alpha had actually imprinted. To be fair, neither did Darren. It was a secret Zander would have been content to take to his grave, and sometimes he wished he hadn’t told Caleb. He knew the omega wouldn’t betray his trust, but it was harder to live in denial when someone else knew the truth, and sometimes denial was all that got Zander through the ache and the instincts that raged at him to go out there and find his mate.

What his wolf wasn’t equipped to understand was that he could hunt Darren down--and he had once years before, because the need to make sure that the omega was safe, even after everything he’d done, had been too much to resist--but it wouldn’t make any difference. Darren didn’t want him. He didn’t need him the way Zander needed the omega. He didn’t want the love or the protection or the forgiveness Zander knew he was still weak enough to give without a moment’s hesitation if the omega happened to walk back into town after all those years.

After weighing the odds that he could get away with running and pretending like he hadn’t heard Dustin, Zander turned around to face the music. Dustin was walking right towards him. “Hey, man,” he said as Dustin pulled him into a hug. “Long time, no see.”

“Yeah, and whose fault is that?” Dustin scoffed.

“You know how it is. It’s the busy season for Alphas who can’t keep themselves off the Federation radar.”

“I heard you dropped off the Grussmans’ kid. Where’d he end up this time?”

“Few miles south of Topeka. Something about teaching his parents a lesson for not letting him drive their car.”

Dustin shook his head. “I know we did some dumb shit in our day, but I swear, they just keep getting worse every generation.”

“Nah. You’re just getting old,” Zander said with a grin. “Remember when you ate all those pop rocks and then drank a gallon of soda because Alec bet you ten bucks?”

Dustin snorted. “Oh, yeah. And then mom thought I had appendicitis when Greg asked her to call the --” He broke off as if he’d just remembered. “Shit, man. Sorry.”

“Don’t sweat it.” Zander shrugged. “Just because the guy screwed me over and ran off with my omega doesn’t mean he never existed.”

“Does in my book,” Dustin muttered, putting his arm around Zander’s shoulder. “Come on, let me buy you a drink down at the bar.”

“Alright,” said Zander, knowing that agreement was the fastest way out of town. A few minutes later, they were sitting at the Watering Hole with a pint in each of their hands.

“Feels like the old days, doesn’t it?” Dustin asked after a hearty gulp of beer.

“Yeah, only now you’re a father of two and you traded in your Mustang for an SUV.”

“Hey, it gets the same mileage and the groceries fit better.” Dustin paused as if to consider his argument. “Man, I really have changed.”

“It looks good on you,” Zander admitted. “How’re Caleb and Stephanie doing?”

“They’re good. Caleb’s having a little trouble with morning sickness, but the doctor says it’s normal,” he said with the air of an Alpha who’d gotten a second and third opinion on the matter. “Stephanie’s starting preschool soon.”

“Already? Damn, time flies.”

“Tell me about it. Soon, she’ll be old enough to start going out on the trails.”

“You’d better wait until she can run in a straight line without falling over first,” Zander snorted.

“Yeah, yeah. You say that now, but I know you. As soon as you have one of your own, you’re gonna be counting down the days until you can take ‘em out to the shooting range.”

“We’ve been over this. The way I live, I can’t even take care of a cat, much less a kid. Being the cool uncle’s good enough for me.”

Dustin frowned, watching his friend worriedly. Zander knew that look. It was the look that screamed, “I can’t help myself, I’m about to stick my foot down my throat in the name of being a good friend.”

“You’re almost thirty, Z,” Dustin said. “The road’s gonna get old at some point.”

“Maybe it will, but it hasn’t yet.” Zander ordered another beer.

“There’s gotta be someone, man. It’s been six years.”

Zander sighed heavily, leaning on the bar. “Six years, six days, doesn’t matter. Darren was it for me.”

“No, he wasn’t,” Dustin said firmly. “I know that’s not what you wanna hear, but take it from someone who thought he’d never imprint, when it happens, it’s different. I know you loved him and I know he raked your heart over the coals, but he wasn’t the one, Zander. If he was, he never could’ve done that to you.”

Zander winced. He knew Dustin’s words were meant to help, but that didn’t make them sting any less. He was getting so tired of making excuses. Of protecting a secret that just didn’t matter anymore. Darren hadn’t given a thought to it in years. Why should he have to be the only one bearing the burden?

“And yet, he did.”

Dustin fell silent. Zander wished he hadn’t said anything, but he knew it was too late when he saw the look in Dustin’s eyes. The other Alpha was already putting the pieces together.

“What are you saying?”

“Nothing,” Zander muttered, reaching for his other beer.

Dustin put a hand on his arm to stop him, holding his gaze. “Talk to me, Z. What’s going on?”

“Nothing that hasn’t been going on for the last ten years,” he said, shrugging away to take a drink.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Another pause. “Zander, you’re not… You didn’t…?”

“Imprint on Darren?” he offered. “Does it matter?”

“Of course it fucking matters. Shit, Zander, are you serious right now?”

“Feels like a joke sometimes,” he admitted. “But yeah, I am.”

“Fuck.” Nothing but silence and understanding passed between them. Zander was surprised at just how heavily he felt that burden shift now that he’d said the words out loud. Telling Caleb was one thing. He was safe. He didn’t know Darren and he never would. Telling Dustin was different. Zander had been convinced that if he ever said the words out loud, he’d feel the same sense of shame that had overwhelmed him that first day, when Dustin and Alec had tried to console him and all he’d done was push them away.

“I’m so sorry,” Dustin said at last. “I mean, what he did was already shitty as hell, but I never…” He trailed off, looking his friend over in renewed awe. “How did you keep that to yourself all this time?”

“I didn’t,” he admitted. “I mentioned it to Caleb once.”

Dustin didn’t seem surprised, or upset like Zander had feared. Caleb was a good listener. He’d become something of a therapist to the other wolves in their pack, and Zander knew why. He was easy to talk to, and he didn’t judge. “Still. I can’t believe you never told me or Alec. Why didn’t you?”

Zander shrugged. “Didn’t want to admit it, I guess. It’s not exactly the kind of thing you go around bragging about.”

“Son of a bitch,” Dustin growled. “If he wasn’t an omega, I swear to God --”

“He doesn’t know,” said Zander.

Dustin stared at him. “What?”

“I never told him I imprinted.”

“But he was your mate. You were going to mark him.”

“Right. And he got cold feet, even though he didn’t know.”

“Why didn’t you tell him? I don’t get it.”

“Of course you don’t,” Zander muttered. “Everything’s black and white with you. You feel something, you act on it.”

“I waited to tell Caleb I imprinted on him,” Dustin reminded him. “I’m not judging, I’m just trying to understand.”

“You know what happened with his mom. You know how he felt about destined mates, about all of it,” he said, running his hand through his hair. “How was I supposed to saddle him with that? I knew it’d just push him even further away. Looks like I didn’t need the help.”

Dustin listened, finally shaking his head. “I’m so sorry, Zander. If I’d had any idea, I never would have hassled you about finding an omega.”

“I know,” he said with a half-smile. “You’re a pain in the ass, but you’re not an asshole.”

“Come over for dinner,” Dustin pleaded. “Caleb and Stephanie would love to see you. We don’t have to talk about it, we’ll just hang out as a family.”

“I don’t know, Dustin…”

“Come on. I just don’t think you should be alone around this time of year,” he said softly.

Zander frowned. He’d been on the road so long that the months had started to blur together. “Oh, yeah. Almost forgot it’s near the time he left.”

Dustin gave him a dubious look.

“Really. I lose track of time when I’m working.”

There had been a point where Zander relived his own personal hell each year around the week surrounding what would have been his and Darren’s anniversary. Even when he’d been filling out the forms at the Tribunal offices after dropping off his bounty, he hadn’t made the connection between the date and just how close December 7th was. Since he knew there was no “getting over” a destined mate for an Alpha, even if Darren had found a way on his end, he figured he was just going numb.

About damn time.

“You work too much, and that’s coming from me,” Dustin said, paying their tab before Zander could protest. “Just stay for one night, that’s all I’m asking. You know, my mom doesn’t live with us anymore.”

Zander smirked, following Dustin back to the farmhouse nestled on top of the hillside that overlooked the family’s ranch. “She and your dad still acting like honeymooners?”

Dustin rolled his eyes. “Worse. But mom’s kept her new leaf turned over, and she and Caleb are sort of friends now, so I can’t complain. Literally.”

“Friends?” Zander cocked an eyebrow. “When did that happen?”

“Since he brought her god into the world and now he can do no wrong.”

Zander laughed as he followed Dustin into the farmhouse. A toddler with paint all over her face, hands and dress ran screaming to greet them, rushing past her father to dive into Zander’s arms.

The Alpha laughed, holding her at arm’s length to protect his leather jacket. “Who’s this little Picasso?” he cried.

“Stepphy!” she squealed indignantly.

Zander frowned thoughtfully. “There’s no way you can be Stephanie. She’s a baby and you’re what, six feet tall?”

“Seven,” she said pointedly.

“My bad.” He set her down as Caleb came running in.

“Zander!” the omega cried, throwing his arms around their friend. “This is a surprise! Dustin didn’t say you were coming over,” he said, scowling at his mate as he wiped the flour off his shirt. “I would’ve cleaned up.”

“Good to see you, too, honey,” Dustin teased.

Caleb stuck his tongue out at his mate.

“It was a last-minute thing. Wasn’t planning on sticking around,” Zander admitted.

“Don’t be silly! We haven’t had adult company in weeks,” Caleb said, taking Zander’s arm to lead him into the kitchen. “Are you hungry?”

“If you’re cooking, hell yeah I am.”

Caleb grinned. The omega was already showing, but Zander would have been able to tell he was pregnant from the way he glowed. His heart swelled with pride for his best friends, but it also ached with the reminder of what might have been.

Ever since Darren had left him, Zander had had no shortage of lovers, but they were all temporary flings and he made sure they knew as much going in. The one semi-permanent relationship he’d had since Darren had been with an omega named Andre, but Zander had pulled away as soon as he’d realized he was interested in more than he’d let on at first. Ever since then, he’d stuck with high-priced escorts he knew for a fact were in the life because they enjoyed it, not because they felt like they had to be, and betas with the occasional Alpha thrown in. Anyone it was safe to sleep with, knowing they wouldn’t be there the next night and that it was okay on both sides.

He’d been living like that for so long that it was easy to forget that there had been a time when the life Dustin led was his idea of heaven. Coming home every night to the same omega, watching his mate change as he carried their child, starting a family like the one Zander had never had. To have someone to protect and nurture and treasure as his and his alone. A partner to build a life with.

And what did he have to show for his twenty-nine years of living? A string of hotel rooms, a bank account full of more money than he’d ever need built from years of ceaseless work because the hunt was the only thing that kept him distracted from the emptiness. The loneliness.

As he sat down to dinner with Caleb and Dustin and laughed at their stories of parenting mishaps and triumphs, as he did the dishes with Dustin while Caleb sang their daughter to sleep in the other room, as he said goodnight to his friends and watched the mated pair disappear to their room down the hall where they’d fall asleep in each other’s arms, he felt the pain as strongly as he had that first night after Darren had left.

Dustin was right. The road wasn’t a life, it was an escape and Zander was already so damn tired of it. As tired as he was, he knew going back to that empty guest room and slipping into the fresh sheets Caleb had put on the bed for him was only going to make things worse. Dustin’s house was the closest thing he had to a home, but staying there would only reminded him of how far he was from the life he’d once been close to enough to grieve.

He grabbed his keys and locked up when he left, leaving the little farmhouse behind. It was a beautiful life, but it wasn’t his. The sooner he accepted that, the better.