“‘I’d like to catch up?’ You couldn’t come up with anything better than that?” Caleb groaned, echoing the line that had been on repeat in Zander’s brain.

“I know,” said Zander, burying his face in his hands as he sat on the couch in the farmhouse living room. “I blanked, okay? I was just trying to get through it without babbling like an idiot.”

“Well, at least now he won’t be nervous about dinner,” Caleb said dryly.

“Cut him some slack. You don’t know what it’s like to be an Alpha who’s imprinted,” Dustin snorted. “Your brain cells go out the window.”

Caleb rolled his eyes. “I just don’t want him to go all googly-eyed and let this guy off the hook when there’s a hell of a lot he has to answer for. I know how you guys get when the hormones take over.”

It was a fair point. There was a lot Zander had imagined he would have to say to Darren if they ever saw each other again, but it had all gone out the window when he’d found the omega crying behind the barn.

He still didn’t even know why Darren was crying, although he could venture a guess. He barely remembered what he’d said, but he knew they had plans if only because he’d written the reminder on the back of his hand. He’d have to scrub that off before he went over.

“It wasn’t the right time,” said Zander. “He was upset. He’s been through a lot.”

“So have you,” Caleb said firmly. “What Greg did was awful, and he needs to answer for it, but just because Darren is back in town doesn’t mean things are going to go back to the way they were. It doesn’t mean you have to jump in and play savior.”

Zander knew Caleb was only trying to help, but he couldn’t possibly understand. It didn’t matter what Darren had done in the past when it came to the fact that someone had put hands on him in the last few days. Zander knew it didn’t mean there was even a chance for anything to work out between them, but it didn’t have to. Even if Darren hadn’t changed at all, it didn’t change the fact that he was still Zander’s omega and the Alpha would die before he let anyone hurt him and get away with it.

He knew Dustin got it. Caleb, on the other hand…

“He’s right,” Dustin said, always careful to be on his mate’s side even when it was clear they didn’t see things from the same perspective. “I know you need to talk, and in the end, whatever does or doesn’t happen between you two is your decision, but all we’re saying is be careful. Don’t let your guard down.”

“No chance of that,” Zander muttered. He still loved Darren and he always would. He knew that, if nothing else, but he doubted he would ever be able to trust the omega again, even if all his wildest dreams of reconciliation came true. “Trust me, that’s not even on my mind right now.”

Dustin and Caleb were both looking at him doubtfully.

“Okay, so it’s on my mind, but it’s not at the forefront. He’s running from his abusive mate, and he has a kid who could be mine, for all I know. I just need to talk to him, find out where he’s at, and make it better.”

Caleb was still watching him worriedly, but he didn’t try to argue this time. He knew better.

Zander stood and smoothed down his jacket. He’d changed five times already, and he was the kind of guy who considered himself well-dressed if he’d managed to pull matching socks out of the top drawer. “You sure I look okay?”

“You look very handsome,” Caleb said patiently.

“You look fine,” Dustin said in a tone of great affection as he opened the front door. “Now, unless you’re waiting for me to grab your ass, I suggest you get a move on.”

* * *

Zander pulled up to the Grants’ house and lingered in the driveway for a moment, just as nervous as he was the first time he’d picked Darren up for an official date. He’d hoped the next time he saw Darren, he’d be slightly more put together, but he had to pick his jaw up off the sidewalk when the omega came to the door.

Darren was wearing a nice white shirt that was far more conservative than anything Zander had ever seen him in before, paired with jeans tight enough that he was going to have to try hard to keep his eyes above the belt. He’d let his hair grow out to its natural shade, and those locks looked so luxurious it was all Zander could do to keep his hands to himself. Darren looked different without his punk clothes and eyeliner, but in some ways, he looked the same. He was still the most beautiful sight Zander had ever seen and one look at him was all it took to make the Alpha forget all of his friends’ well-intentioned warnings.

“Wow. You uh, you look great.”

The old Darren would have smirked, maybe made a snide remark like, “I know.” Instead, his face flushed and he mumbled some form of denial.

“Daddy!” A small voice cried from somewhere in the living room. A little boy with dark, curly hair and big blue eyes the same shade as Darren’s tackled the omega at the door. He stopped to look up at Zander, tilting his head in curiosity. “Where are you going?”

Darren leaned down to lift his son into his arms and Zander had never seen him soften the way he did when he smiled at the boy. “I told you, I’m going out for a little while and you’re going to stay here with grandma.”

“Whossat?” the boy asked, pointing at Zander.

Darren took his hand to lower it. He looked up at Zander under those thick lashes and the Alpha could sense that Darren was every bit as uncertain about that night as he was. “An old friend from town,” he said softly. “Zander, this is my son, Bobby.”

“Hey there, big guy,” Zander said, trying not to let the existential crisis he was having show through. He offered his hand and the boy shook it proudly. “It’s good to meet you.”

“Are you a cowboy?” Bobby asked, bug-eyed. “Grandma says everyone around here’s a cowboy.”

Zander laughed. “Afraid I’m one of the few who isn’t. But I do round up wolves sometimes when they go bad.”

“Wow,” Bobby said, awestruck.

“Alright, you go back inside,” Darren said, putting him down. “Zander and I have a lot to catch up on.”

“Bye, Bobby,” Zander said, waving to the boy. The moment Darren shut the door, he realized he had forgotten to breathe. He stared at the omega, trying to find a way to put the foremost question in his mind into words that weren’t horribly insulting. But he had to know. “How old is he?”

Darren bit his bottom lip. “He’s five.”

“Son of a --” Zander turned away, forcing himself to calm down. This wasn’t how he’d planned to start out the night.

“I know what you’re thinking, but he’s not yours, Zander. I wish it --” Darren broke off, hugging himself. “He’s just not.”

“You know that for sure?” Zander gritted out. “You got a paternity test?”

“There wasn’t a need to.”

“The hell there wasn’t.”

“I was with Greg when I went into heat, Zander. You were gone on a job that whole week.”

“We were together before and after that. Maybe he’s not mine, but there’s enough of a chance that I had the right to know he existed.” He didn’t want the words to come out as furious as they sounded, but he couldn’t help it. Knowing Darren had a kid with the Alpha he’d left Zander for was one thing. Knowing there was a chance that kid was his and that Darren hadn’t even bothered to tell him he existed? That was a whole different ballgame.

“Even if there was a chance, it wouldn’t have changed anything.”

“It changes everything, and you know it,” he growled.

Darren flinched.

This wasn’t the omega Zander knew. The old Darren was incapable of taking criticism, no matter how valid it was, and he’d die justifying himself before he’d apologize to anyone. Their relationship had been fire and water, and they’d fought as much as they’d made love, but the passion on both sides of the equation had almost made Zander enjoy the conflict. It made him feel alive, and the fact that Darren was even more of a firebrand than he was reassured him that the omega wasn’t going to crumble under the weight of his Alpha-driven stubbornness. Unlike all the other omegas Zander had been with, he’d always felt like he could speak his mind around Darren, for better or worse, because the omega could take it. Because he was stronger than everyone, Zander included, and far enough above it all to let it roll off his back. The old Darren was waterproof, fireproof, and hard as stone. It was one of the things Zander loved most about him, even if it was also the thing that had driven them apart.

He didn’t recognize the omega standing in front of him. Zander could see the weight of Darren’s guilt crushing him where he once would have shrugged it off without a second thought. This Darren might as well have been a stranger, and Zander wasn’t remotely sure what to do with him.

“Let’s just go to dinner,” Zander said once he trusted himself not to make things worse.

Darren looked surprised, but he nodded. Zander helped him into the car and they drove in silence the whole way. He decided to take Darren to a restaurant closer to the city since the wait staff at all the local establishments were always overtly curious when he came into town.

Once they were settled at a relatively private table, Zander tried again, deciding to start with a less hot-button topic.

“So, how are your parents?”

“They’re doing well,” Darren said, taking a sip of his water. Zander noticed he’d refused the waiter’s offer for something stronger. There had been a time when Darren would never pass up a stiff drink. “They’ve been so great with Bobby.”

“I’m sure they’re glad to have the chance to get to know him.” Zander hadn’t meant it the way it sounded, but it was too late to take it back. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how to do this,” he admitted. “For years, I thought I’d know exactly what I’d say if I ever saw you again, but I don’t.”

“We both know that’s not true, Z,” Darren said with a sad smile. Even now, the omega calling him by his nickname made his heart stir in ways that threatened the objectivity he needed desperately to maintain. “You know what you want to say, you’re just afraid you shouldn’t.”

“There may be a few things on my mind,” he muttered.

“Go ahead. Don’t hold back. That’s why I’m here.”

Zander finally nodded. “Okay, then. I guess the first thing would be, why? Why did you leave the way you did?”

“Because I knew if I did it any other way, I’d change my mind,” he said softly. “What I did was unforgivable, but if I’d stayed, you would have forgiven me.”

“Don’t. Don’t spin this into you trying to take the high road. You left the night before our mating ceremony without a damn word other than the note you left on my fucking dresser because it was easier than facing me.”

“You’re right.” Darren swallowed. He hadn’t touched his food at all. Neither had Zander. “I was a coward, and I was selfish. I couldn’t face you, and I knew if I did, I’d change my mind. I knew I was making the biggest mistake of my life, and you were the only person who could cut through my pride enough to see that.”

“Then why did you do it? Why Greg, my best friend, of all fucking people?” His voice was raw, but he hoped Darren still knew him well enough to recognize that it was pain more than anger. Not that there wasn’t plenty of both to go around. “Did you want to hurt me?”

Darren took a shaky breath. “Yes.”

Zander stared at him. He hadn’t expected Darren to admit the truth so easily. He spun lies like silk, and the Alpha had always convinced himself he wanted the truth, but now that he had it, he wasn’t sure. “Guess I kind of figured that,” he said, propping his head up on his hand. “What did I do to make you hate me so much? I know I wasn’t the perfect mate, but I would have loved you with my very last breath. I would’ve taken care of you and Bobby, whether he was mine or not.”

“That’s why,” Darren said, hugging himself tighter. “You were good to me. So good. There was part of me, even back then, that recognized the truth. That I didn’t deserve you. Greg and I, we were so wrong for each other, but we were one and the same. We were both already broken, so I knew I couldn’t break him the way I’d end up breaking you if I stayed. Either that, or you’d wake up and realize it in time to get away. Maybe a week after you’d marked me or maybe a decade, but you’d either realize you deserved better and leave me, or I could leave before we both got in too deep.”

Zander listened and tried his best to process the words the omega was saying, but there was part of him that wondered if it was just more of the manipulation Darren had once been so good at. He couldn’t bring himself to believe that Darren had a side that wasn’t impenetrable and sharpened like steel. “Why did you have to do it the way you did? Why couldn’t you just tell me you weren’t ready?”

“Because I’d already made you wait so long. Because I didn’t have the guts to be honest with you, so it was easier to just make you hate me. In the moment, it felt like it wasn’t even me, and for a long time, I told myself it was just the heat, but I can’t use those excuses anymore. I don’t have one, Zander. What I did was unforgivable, and I know I can never take it back. If it’s any consolation, there’s not a day that’s gone by since then that I haven’t spent hating myself for what I did to you, but when I found out I was pregnant, I knew it was too late to take it back.”

Zander fell silent, considering Darren’s words. It went against history and his common sense, but he believed him. That opened another can of worms, and made things far more complicated, but he believed him. It would have been so much easier if Darren had just shown up, unapologetic as ever, spinning his usual bullshit. That, he was prepared for. That, he knew how to handle. This was uncharted territory.

“Thank you for being honest with me.”

Darren finally met his gaze. “I know I don’t even have the right to say this, and it probably means nothing to you, but Zander, I am so sorry. I’m sorry for everything, and I don’t expect that you’ll ever be able to forgive me or to stop hating me. If I were you, I wouldn’t. I just needed you to know that.”

“Truth is, I forgave you a long time ago,” Zander admitted. “And I could never hate you. I wanted to sometimes, but I can’t. And I’d be a hypocrite if I said I hadn’t kept anything from you.”

“What do you mean?” Darren asked, searching his face.

“There’s something I should have told you a long time ago. Who knows? Maybe if I had, things would have turned out differently.” Zander leaned back, letting out a deep breath. “The truth is, I imprinted on you, Darren.”

The omega’s eyes widened and he shook his head in disbelief. “No… when?”

“The moment we met.” He smiled sadly. “I wanted to tell you then, but something held me back. Then you told me about what happened to your mom and I just kept telling myself there’d be a right time. In the end, I guess the right time for us just never came.”

Darren brought his hand up to his mouth, but Zander could see the remorse in those blue eyes, shining with tears in the candlelight. He no longer had any doubt that Darren had meant his apology. He was just afraid that the omega was right. That it didn’t matter because too much had already passed between them for it to make any real difference.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t -- I swear, I didn’t know.”

“It doesn’t matter. I guess if you had known, and it had made a difference, you would have stayed for the wrong reasons,” he murmured. It was easier to admit the truth now, for some reason. Or maybe it was just impossible to keep lying to himself when the source of his delusion was right there in front of him.

Darren had always seemed like a force of nature to Zander, this energy that couldn’t be tamed or bottled up, and God knew he’d tried. For the first time, Zander was starting to realize that he’d been in love with the omega’s fire and forgotten to realize there was still a person underneath, burning alive to fuel it.

Maybe that was the real reason Darren had run. Maybe he’d known what Zander hadn’t realized then. That the Alpha had fallen for an illusion no one could keep up forever, and he’d skipped town before they could come crashing down to the far less romantic truth that they were both just people. Both just flawed, broken kids looking for something the other didn’t have to give.

“How?” Darren asked after falling into dead silence for a few minutes. “How did you deal with the pain?”

“I threw myself into the job,” he confessed. “I trained, I fought, I cracked a few skulls pretending like it was Greg I was fighting. Dustin and Alec were there for me. Can’t say where I’d be if it wasn’t for them.”

Darren wiped a tear from his eye and even now, Zander could tell he resented himself for showing any sign of weakness, even if that glimpse of his humanity was the one thing that gave Zander hope that maybe he really had changed. “It could have killed you.”

“It could have, but it didn’t.” He smiled a bit. “I’m pretty tough to kill. One of my strong suits.”

Darren laughed, but it was a thin sound that immediately became an anguished cry. He broke down and Zander had to fight the urge to go to him, to comfort him as he had on one of the rare occasions Darren had ever let himself be vulnerable in front of the Alpha.

“I didn’t tell you this to make you feel worse,” Zander said softly, covering Darren’s hand in his. The touch made his heart ache all the more. Something so right that could never be for so many reasons. “But I should have told you a long time ago, and I felt like you had a right to know.”

“Where do we go from here?” Darren asked shakily. Zander had never before seen such doubt in his eyes. He looked lost.

“That depends on you,” Zander said carefully. He knew what he wanted, but that didn’t mean it was right for either of them. “But right now, all I’m interested in is keeping you and Bobby safe.”

Darren swallowed hard. “Zander, you don’t have to do anything. You’ve managed all this time without me, and you have no responsibility to me now just because I’m back. I shouldn’t even have come here. I thought you’d moved on.”

“No,” Zander murmured. Not in any way, shape or form. “But whether it’s my responsibility or not, it’s my right. You’re still my omega, even if you’re not my mate. Whether Bobby’s mine or not, he deserves a better father figure than some prick who’d put his hands on either one of you.”

“If you want me to have a test done, I will,” Darren said, starting to calm down even though Zander could still feel his guilt and grief through the link that had somehow not atrophied with all the years and miles he’d put between them.

Zander thought about it for a moment before deciding against it. “Like you said, the fact is that he probably isn’t mine.” It killed him to say it even though he’d only met the boy for a few minutes and until a few days ago, he hadn’t even known he’d existed. From the moment he’d seen Bobby, he’d felt that instant connection, the undeniable brand of family stamped on his heart, just like he’d known Darren was his mate from the moment they’d met. Whether Bobby was his son by blood or not, and whether or not he had any obligation to the boy that could be enforced by pack law, his heart had already spoken. They were both his to protect, both his to care for, even if nothing ever changed between him and Darren. For better or for worse, they were family. Pack. That meant more than blood and more than all the years he’d passed in a half-alive state.

For the first time since Darren had left, Zander felt like he knew what his purpose was. He had a mission and one way or another, he would fulfill it.

Zander cleared his throat. “Not knowing for sure could work to our advantage.”

Darren listened, frowning in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

“I imprinted on you, and Greg never marked you,” he said, eyeing the bare flesh on the omega’s neck. It was a bizarre thing to be at once jealous and furious at another Alpha for not having marked his mate, but it was still a sign of disrespect. It was proof that Greg didn’t value the omega who’d given birth to his own son enough to make a permanent commitment to him. “That means I have more of a claim on you than he does, and as long as we don’t know who Bobby’s biological father is, I can claim you both as mine.”

“You would do that?” Darren asked doubtfully. “You’d give up your chance to know if he’s yours just to keep him away from Greg?”

Zander gave him a faint smile. “If he is mine, I wouldn’t deserve to call myself his father if I wasn’t willing to take that risk. If he’s not, well… he’s still yours.”

Fresh tears flowed down the omega’s cheeks, but he retained his composure and nodded. “I can’t ever repay you for that, but if you’re willing, I’m not going to try to convince you otherwise, for Bobby’s sake.”

“Then it’s settled. There’s someone I can call tomorrow. He’s an expert in Federation law, and he specializes in this kind of thing. If Greg does come looking for you, we’ll be ready.”

He’d gone out planning on trying to convince Darren to tell him where the Alpha was, but their conversation had changed his mind, even if every other part of him still wanted to kill his former friend. Greg deserved to die for what he’d done, but if Zander took the vengeance he had every right to, it would land him in a prison cell and Bobby would be left with not one but two Alphas who’d failed him. He deserved to be put first, and whether Darren still thought he could handle everything by himself or not, they both needed someone to protect and care for them.

Everything else, including Zander’s own desires, would have to take a back burner.