Alice awoke to find him still there. He was lying on top of the blankets, staring up at the ceiling. Her face burnt. He’d cuddled her last night. She couldn’t quite believe it when she woke up to find him wrapped around her back. It’d made her feel things for him yet again that she wasn’t comfortable with.
I wanted him to hold me closer. I wanted him to kiss me. I desire him. I’m clearly certifiable.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Um, morning.”
Oh, fuck. He just had to be listening to me.
She might as well get straight to the point. There shouldn’t be any misunderstanding between them.
“You know, last night, that can’t happen again.”
“Fine.”
That’s it?
“Yes, Alice, that’s it. You made it very clear how you feel.”
She turned to him, frowning. She didn’t expect him to just accept it like that. Besides, he’d heard her thoughts. He knew she wanted him. Knew she was lying. Why wasn’t he making a bigger deal out of this?
Why do I feel so disappointed?
She shook herself. Shuffling out of bed, she wanted to be away from him. She needed to compose herself. She went into the bathroom, locking the door to keep him out. Not that a locked door could keep an angel out if he really wanted to get in.
She stripped out of her clothes and stepped into the shower. The warm water cascaded down her back. He made her feel so flustered when he was close. She couldn’t deny she liked having him hold her. She liked it far too much.
I shouldn’t feel this way about him. He’s an immortal being from Heaven. It’s completely inappropriate for me to lust after him.
She placed her hands on the glass to steady herself. Thoughts of what it’d be like to have his skin against hers, his fingers in places they shouldn’t be assaulted her senses. Mentally chastising herself, she washed her hair and got out. She snagged a towel from the rack and dried her hair so it was no longer dripping. She wrapped another around her, drying off the excess water.
She walked out into the bedroom and stopped dead. Azrael’s eyes were on her, pinning her in place. They roamed down the length of her body. Her face burnt. She hadn’t expected him to still be in here. She coughed, but he didn’t look away. The intensity of his gaze made her heart flutter. Her feet started to carry themselves towards him of their own accord. She stopped a foot away, staring up at him.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Looking at you.”
“I can see that, but why?”
“Do I need a reason?”
His eyes grazed over the skin showing above her towel. She hiked it up, making sure she wasn’t exposing herself any further.
“No, but I want to get dressed.”
“By all means.”
She pointed to the door. His mouth curved up at one side.
“You didn’t seem to mind giving me a show last night.”
Her face burnt hotter. There was nothing she could say to that. Why is he acting like this now when he said he understood my terms about the bed? I’m so confused.
“Just… get out.”
He took a step towards her, closing the distance between them.
“Are you sure?”
She wasn’t sure of anything, but she didn’t appreciate him teasing her when it was blatantly obvious he wasn’t serious. He’d told her from the beginning he wasn’t interested in humans. Wasn’t interested in her.
“I’m sure as hell not about to drop my towel in front of you if that’s what you’re implying.”
“There’s something about you, Alice. I’m going to find out why you can see me, one way or another.”
And with that, he turned on his heel and strode out leaving her staring after him.
What the actual fuck was that about?
She took two steps back and slumped on the bed. The angel was far too confusing for words. One moment he was acting like she was an inconvenience to him. The next, teasing her, touching her, making her feel like fire ran in her veins. She let out a little mewl of frustration.
Fine. If he’s going to be all weird and confusing then whatever. I don’t have the energy to work out what the hell he really wants with me.
It was enough she was practically his prisoner. Although she had to admit, she didn’t want a recurrence of a demon trying to make off with her. Staying with Azrael was her best option. There wasn’t anyone safer than an Archangel, right?
She padded out into the open plan living space when she’d dressed. It was the weekend so she wouldn’t have to deal with him complaining all day. Yesterday had been an absolute nightmare. She sighed.
Azrael was sat at the breakfast bar, twirling a fork. She walked over, perching on the stool next to him.
“What’s this?” she asked.
Two mugs of tea sat with two plates piled high with pancakes, fruit and maple syrup.
“Breakfast.”
“Since when do you need to eat?”
“I don’t.”
“Doesn’t mean you can’t. Right. I get it.”
She picked up the knife and fork and dug in. She almost groaned. It tasted incredible. Glancing over at the angel, she found him watching her with an inscrutable expression.
“Um, thank you. It’s really good,” she said after she’d swallowed her mouthful.
He didn’t respond, merely turning to his own plate. She hadn’t seen him eat or drink before.
“Do you actually like human food?”
“Not all of it is terrible.” He tucked into his pancakes, chewing and swallowing. “Everything tastes better with an angel’s touch.”
She rolled her eyes and went back to her own meal. They ate in silence for a while. She hugged the mug of tea to her chest, wondering what he was thinking.
“Would you like to do something today?” he asked, startling her.
“Like what?”
Does he actually want to hang out with me? That can’t be right.
“What do you usually do at the weekends?”
“When I lived with my parents, I used to help them on the farm, but since I moved to London… Jason isn’t one for fresh air, so it was usually the pub.”
“You lived on a farm?”
“Yes, a dairy farm, but I tended to help my mum with her side business, selling homegrown vegetables at the farmer’s market.”
He eyed her for a moment. She popped the mug back down on the breakfast bar.
“You like the outdoors. In that case, why don’t I take you home?”
“What?”
“To see your parents.”
“Take me home to Kent… Why would you do that?”
“Wouldn’t it make you happy?”
She had no idea how to react.
Since when does he care about my happiness? Also, how does he expect me to explain him to my parents? They don’t even know I broke up with Jason.
“I appreciate the offer, but I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
He leant towards her, his eyes fixated on her mouth. She jerked back in surprise, toppling off the stool. His arm shot out, curling around her back to stop her descent. He pulled her towards him, his body flush with hers.
“Careful,” he said, his voice so low it sent a tingle up her spine.
Her entire body was on fire. Heat sizzled between the two of them. She couldn’t look away from his dazzling green eyes.
“There’s something lurking behind your eyes,” he whispered. “Something which makes you so much more than just a girl. Perhaps it’s why my brother wants you. Perhaps it’s why you can see me.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“No… you wouldn’t. It’s hidden, itching to get out.”
She couldn’t breathe. He was staring at her so intently. Her face burnt. It was all she could do to keep from trembling. From revealing exactly how much he affected her. He pulled away, settling her back on the stool. She gripped the counter to keep herself upright. He waved a hand, the plates disappearing before he walked away, leaving her wondering what on earth had just happened between them.
§
A little later, she escaped into the bathroom whilst he was still in the living room. She couldn’t take it any longer. He was too confusing. She pulled out her phone. There was nothing for it. She needed advice.
“Ally, darling, to what do I owe this pleasure?” Chris said when he answered.
“I need your help.”
“Does this happen to have anything to do with what you wouldn’t tell me before?”
“Yes. I need you to listen to me carefully. This is going to sound insane. All of it. I barely even know where to start.”
“Darling, start at the beginning. Whatever it is, I’ll listen.”
The words came rushing out. From her meeting Azrael, him keeping her here in his penthouse, who he really was, the fact that demons and Lucifer were after her. All of it. She held nothing back. Chris didn’t interject once.
“I don’t understand him. He seems like he wants something from me, but then he pulls away. I don’t even know if I like him really. I mean he’s an angel. Isn’t it completely wrong and insane for me to feel anything? I just don’t know. It’s all such a mess.”
Dumping all of that on Chris wasn’t entirely fair, but she had no one else to talk to. She certainly wasn’t going to broach the subject with Azrael himself.
“Well, fuck. Darling, Ally, tell me everything you’ve just said is the complete truth?”
“Do you think I’d make something that fucking crazy up?”
“No, but you’re really telling me all that supernatural bullshit we hear about is true?”
“Yes.”
“Fuck.”
“Fuck indeed.”
They were both silent for a long moment. Alice sat on the edge of the bath. She was confused and felt utterly alone. She wished Chris was here with her. He’d know what to do. He always did.
“This angel, Azrael… It sounds to me like he does like you on some level. I very much doubt he’s admitted it to himself.”
Of course he doesn’t like me. What could he like? I’m just a plain girl who apparently can see angels.
“That makes no sense. He hates humans.”
“Alice, darling, that man has been flirting with you. Did you not say he all but outright asked you to get naked in front of him?”
“That wasn’t flirting. He was being a dick and trying to get a rise out of me.”
Chris was talking nonsense. Azrael wasn’t interested in humans. She was sure he just enjoyed winding her up. It was some kind of game to him.
“You have always been oblivious to others’ feelings towards you.”
“Seriously, he is adamant about not liking humans. Why would he like me anyway? All I’ve done is been an inconvenience to him. At least that’s how he acts.”
It wasn’t strictly true. He’d offered to take her to her parents.
“Whatever you say, darling.”
The bathroom door slammed back. She turned, staring at the angel. Azrael’s eyes were blazing.
“Um… shit. Chris, I have to go.”
She hung up without saying any more, placing her phone on the edge of the bath and standing up. Azrael was pissed. She was in for a difficult conversation. Why had she forgotten he was able to hear her conversations? I’m a fucking idiot.
“You told another human about this?” he said, fury in his voice.
“What else did you expect? You won’t explain anything to me.”
He strode over, taking her by the arm and pulling her towards him. He stared down at her, his expression still thunderous.
“You were meant to keep your mouth shut. You are aware my brother is after you. Did you not think about the risks you’re taking involving someone else?”
Her heart dropped. Had she put Chris in danger by telling him? She’d made this into an even bigger mess than it was before.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I needed someone to talk to. He’s my only friend.”
The fire in his eyes dimmed a little.
“Talk to me.”
“How can I? You’re so unapproachable. You’ve told me more than enough times you don’t care about me. You don’t care about humans. I’m just your duty. A duty you seem to despise.”
He flinched at her words, letting go of her abruptly. His eyes flashed with pain and bewilderment.
“You’re not…”
“Not what?”
“A duty.”
“Then what?”
Something else dawned on her. If Azrael knew she’d been talking about him to Chris, then he’d known what Chris had said about him flirting with her. She wanted to bury her head in her hands. This is the single most embarrassing moment of my life. Chris is wrong. He’s never flirted with me.
“I want to know why you can see me and why… Why we… Why I…”
She’d never seen him flustered before. He ran a hand through his hair.
“Just know that you’re not some kind of duty to me. I told you I would keep you safe and I intend to do that, but it’s not because it’s my duty.”
He turned away, striding from the room before she could ask him any further questions. What the actual fuck? One minute he’s mad at me, the next he’s stuttering over his words? Alice shook her head. Whatever was going on between her and Az was a mystery.
Az.
She supposed that was how she thought of him now. She wasn’t sure when it had happened, but somehow, she felt things for the angel that she shouldn’t. And she was very sure he couldn’t feel the same way about her, could he?