I HUM TO MYSELF AS I clear the coffee cups from one of my tables. Watching CJ get off that plane, and then spending another blissful night with him has sent my spirits soaring. Don’t ask me to define it, or us, I should say, but whatever it is we have, I like it. It’s electric, incomparable to anything else. Just spending time with him is enough, no labels required.
“Someone is chipper,” Philly teases me as I pick up an order.
“Shut up.” I ignore him, still humming.
He watches me amused. “You remind me of Sleeping Beauty after she meets the handsome prince in the forest.”
I laugh to myself, recalling the joke I made about being pricked with his penis. “Maybe I sort of feel like Sleeping Beauty after she meets the handsome prince.”
“I take it your weekend with the hottie from Hawaii went well?”
I beam as I lift the tray. “He’s still here.”
Philly’s face drops. “I thought it was just a weekend fling?”
“Well, it got extended.”
“Do you think it’s a good idea to keep seeing him? With everything going on?” He actually sounds like my father right now. He’s killing my buzz.
“Nothing is going on,” I say defensively. “I like CJ, and I can handle it.”
Philly puts his hand up in surrender. “Easy, blondie. I’m not the enemy here. I’m just your best friend trying to look out for you.”
“I appreciate that, Philly. I don’t love anyone more than you. But I’m a big girl, and I can make my own decisions.”
“You’ve told me,” he says perturbed.
I scoff. “I have to drop these before they get cold.”
“Good idea.” He steps back and rings up a customer.
My wonderful mood has just flown right out the window. Thanks, Philly.
“I’m taking five,” I inform Philly as I toss my tray on the server’s station.
He waves in acknowledgment.
I bum a cigarette from one of the dishwashers in the kitchen before I head outside. I don’t usually smoke, but every once in a while it helps with the stress.
I push through the back doors and step out into the alley. It’s a narrow strip of concrete sandwiched between two brick buildings that smells like garbage. The stench probably wouldn’t be so bad if the dumpster weren’t right next to the freakin’ door.
I light the cigarette, close my eyes, and let the smoke fill my lungs. It instantly relaxes me. I inhale another drag letting the nicotine work its magic. It’s twenty degrees out, I have no coat on, and I don’t even care that I’m starting to shiver. I’m too caught up in the moment, reveling in the few seconds I’m alone with my smoke.
“You know those things will kill you?” A figure appears out of the darkness. I immediately stiffen, trying as hard as I can not to show my trepidation.
“Nino.” I exhale, blowing smoke right in his face. He sneers waving a hand in front of him.
“Cute. Where have you been hiding?”
“I’m not hiding. I’m right here.”
He leers at me. “You’re right here . . . now.”
“Isn’t that what matters? The here and now?” I dance around his interrogation.
“No.” I see the change in his temperament instantly. He goes from tolerant to irate within a second.
“Tara?” Nino grabs my face and pins me against the brick wall. “Where the fuck were you?”
“Nowhere. Around.” I struggle against him.
“Bullshit. You weren’t answering your phone and you weren’t at your apartment. Where the fuck have you been?” He squeezes my cheeks harder.
“I don’t need to run my life by you! You don’t own me!” My words are muffled, but there’s no mistaking the fire behind them.
Nino flashes a sadistic smile. Even in the faint light of the alleyway, I can still make out his features. Strong jaw, high cheekbones, styled hair, and mouth of the devil himself. I used to think that mouth was sexy. I used to wish it would touch mine, devour it. Now, I regret ever getting close to it. It’s caused nothing but chaos.
“You are so wrong.” His voice vibrates with menace. “You’re my girl, Tara. I own that face and that ass and that pussy. Never forget that. I. Own. You. Until I decide otherwise.” He releases my cheeks roughly but keeps me pinned to the wall. “And if you ever disappear on me like that again, I’ll find you.” His threat chills me straight to the bone. “Got it, Tara?”
I loathe the way he says my name. Like he really does own me. I fight back the angry tears, completely silent.
“Tara?” He demands an answer.
“Yes,” I bite out, resisting the urge to spit on him.
“Good.” He hisses like the snake he is. “Remember, I know everything about you. Where your mother works, the bar your father hangs out at, even all about Ellie and her brand new husband. You wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to them because of you, would you?”
“You wouldn’t hurt them!” I erupt.
“If you force me to, I would,” he threatens.
I clench my jaw and battle back the tears.
“Don’t fuck with me, Tara. When I text you, you answer. Got it?”
I nod. The cigarette still smoking in my hand.
“Good.” He ogles me triumphantly. I begin to crumble at the thought of anyone I love being hurt because of me.
The door to the back room suddenly swings open while Nino still has me pinned against the wall. We both turn our heads to find Philly glaring at us.
“If you are going to hook up, can you at least wait until after your shift? We’re getting slammed in there.” He directs all his hostility at me, which hurts more than anything.
“Mmm . . .” Nino moans in my ear. “I love the idea of hooking up.” He slides his hand under my shirt and grabs my breast. Disgusted, I stab my cigarette into his neck, and he jerks back.
“Feisty tonight.” He snaps his jaw at me like a dog. “I like that.” He places his hand over the burn. “See ya around, sweetheart.” I inwardly cringe as he walks away.
I inhale a few quick, choppy breaths before I return inside, slipping by a glaring Philly without a word. I have gone from feeling light and airy to as heavy as a weathered stone. I feel the heat of Philly’s body radiating behind me, but he doesn’t say a word as we walk back into the busy café. Neither do I. Nothing needs to be said. I just pick up my tray and work the rest of the night as if nothing happened, counting down the minutes until I’m with CJ again.