“WHO IS READY FOR BREAKFAST?” Kayne claps his hands together and rubs them readily in the gargantuan living room. My parents, CJ, and I have unloaded all of our luggage and virtually taken over Kayne and Ellie’s house. I know they don’t mind. Ellie lives for family visits.
“Sounds good. I’m starved.” My father gets up off the couch, my mother following.
“Um,” I scramble, looking around the room. “Do you care if Ellie and I hang back? I would really love some girl time.” I look at her, trying to plead discreetly. Luckily, my sister isn't stupid and catches on.
“That’s fine with me.” She sinks back down onto the white plushy couch next to me. CJ, Kayne, and my father all eye us, but each for a different reason. CJ and Kayne with understanding, my father with suspicion.
“Is that okay?” I look up at CJ. I sort of feel bad ditching him five minutes after we got here, but I need to talk to Ellie. I have been tearing at the seams trying to keep it all in. Kayne made me swear before he left New York that I would tell her everything. That it should come directly from me. I didn’t want to tell anyone at the time, but I’m ready now. I can talk about it, and it’s time she knew where her husband went all those months ago. Although, I don’t know what that will mean for him once the truth comes out.
“It’s fine.” CJ delivers me his warmest smile.
I return the expression, nervously.
“We’ll meet you,” Ellie gets up to kiss Kayne good-bye before they all leave the house. She stands in the middle of the living room as she watches the front door. As soon as it closes and the house is quiet, she crosses her arms and turns to me. “Please tell me you’re not pregnant.”
“What?” I nearly fall off the couch. “No.”
“Oh, thank God.” She plops down next me, relieved. “I don’t think Daddy’s heart could take it.”
I frown immediately, sadness settling in my stomach. “I wish he would lay off CJ. I really love him. And he really loves me. And he . . .” I choke up, the tears coming on faster than I anticipated.
“He what?” Ellie scoots closer to me and puts her arms around me.
“You don’t understand.”
“So make me understand.” My sister’s green eyes are wide. Attentive.
I take a few, deep calming breaths. I want to get this out coherently.
“Tara, you’re worrying me.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to,” I swear to her. “I just need you to know.”
“Know what?” She is nearly chomping at the bit for me to finally tell her. I take a good hard look at my sister, who resembles our father so much, and I launch into the story. I tell her everything—how CJ showed up in New York, how we had the most amazing weekend, how he stayed. Then I tell her all about Nino and what I got myself wrapped up in. How CJ showed up at the club that night, and how I thought I lost him. I explain how he forgave me, and that I can’t even believe it sometimes. Then I go into what happened on Long Island, why Kayne and Jett showed up, the auction, and Slade.
By the time I finish, we are both a blubbering mess.
“Is that what the tattoo is for?” She wipes my tears and then her own.
I nod. Our father hates the fact I covered my whole back and let everyone in the family know.
“Let me see it,” Ellie insists.
I stand, turn around, and pull my shirt up. Ellie’s reaction is audible as she touches me lightly, feeling all the raised lines now concealed by the intricate sheet music and large treble clef.
“Oh, Tara.” The emotion is potent in her voice.
“I needed to tell you.” I pull down my shirt and turn around. “I’m glad you did, and I’m glad Kayne was there.”
“You are? You aren't mad that he didn't tell you?” I sit back down next to her.
“I’m pissed as hell, but I understand. My husband is a mysterious creature.”
“He’s scary as shit.” I laugh, recalling the way he threatened Philly.
“He can be that, too.”
“Did you know he worked undercover the whole time? Did he save you? Is that really what happened when you were kidnapped?”
Ellie clams up, but her cheeks redden more brightly than a strawberry.
“He . . . saved me in a way. And no, I didn't know he was working undercover at first.” She fiddles with the little diamond heart on her choker.
“At first?” I question.
“Tara,” she says with hesitation. “It doesn't matter how Kayne and I came together, just like it doesn't matter how you and CJ came together. All that matters is that you’re happy. Are you happy?”
“Of course, I am, now. Now that I’m better.”
Ellie takes my hands in hers. “Trust me. No one understands what that feels like more than I do. No one.”
I scrutinize my sister. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“Just that I know what it’s like to go through something traumatic and have someone who loves you enough to get you through it.”
Then Ellie tells me a story of her own. How Kayne tracked her down in Hawaii. How he whisked her away to Bora Bora to show her exactly how he felt. Then she told me about Michael. A man she thought was her friend but turned out to be someone else entirely. She told me what he did to her and how she really ended up in that hospital bed. I’m speechless by the time she’s done speaking, tears flooding my eyes once again. This conversation turned out to be way deeper and more emotional than I could have ever imagined.
“I get every single thing you have felt, are feeling, and will feel.”
“Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell us?” My voice strains.
Ellie shrugs. “I just deal with it better keeping it between Kayne and me. I know you can empathize.” She presses the music note hanging around my neck.
I smile, to both myself and at her. “Yes, I can.” No one makes me feel safer or more secure than CJ does. I can’t imagine ever wanting anyone else.
“Are you hungry?” Ellie perks up and wipes her eyes.
“Starving,” I laugh the rest of my tears out.
“Good. Let’s go.” She slaps her knees and stands up.
“Good idea.” I follow suit. “I don't want to leave CJ alone with Kayne and our father too long. The odds aren't in his favor.”
“You won’t have to worry about that much longer. I’ll take care of both of them,” she says haughtily.
Oh, I know that tone and that look. Ellie means business, so everyone better look out.
Look out? On second thought, maybe they should take cover.