Rhys

“I should’ve said something to her.”

“Not if you’re not ready,” Nate tells me, but we both know I just did the wrong thing.

“’Hello’ isn’t a hard thing to say, and she deserves that, at least.”

“It would’ve been nice, but what’s done is done.”

“I can’t leave it like this with her,”

“Do you need me to go talk to her?”

“No. Thanks, but I need to take care of this myself.” I turn, and walk over to the Concierge Desk, which I’m told is a recent addition to the lobby.

“Hello, Rhys, is there something I can help you with?”

“Hi. I was wondering if Vivienne ordered dinner?”

“Yes, she did. It will be here in a few minutes. Did you want to order something?”

“No, but I’d like to take it up to her apartment, if that’s okay.”

“Oh, Sure. Do you want me to call you when it arrives?”

“No, I’ll wait here.”

“I’ll see you later, man,” Nate tells me with a smile.

I walk over to one of the couches, which were also not here last time I visited Rhieve, and wait for the delivery. When it comes, I tip the guy, and start for the elevators, before remembering I don’t know her apartment number. This isn’t going to look suspicious at all.

“I am completely drawing a blank on her apartment number,” I say to the woman at the desk, bringing a little dimple action into play.

She looks nervous and unsure, probably because this hasn’t happened to her before. “I’m not sure I can give you that info.”

“What info?” Matt asks, walking up to the desk.

“He’s asking for another person’s apartment number.”

Matt looks at me, and then the bag in my hand. “Did she order that, or are you just assuming she’s hungry?”

I motion him away from the desk, because I want to tell the truth, but I don’t need a complete stranger to hear it. “She ordered. We ran into each other a little while ago, and I didn’t handle it well.”

“How bad was it?”

“I just stared at her, and didn’t say a word.”

“Damn. Okay, I’ll tell you, but you’ve got to up your game. Like, seriously. It’s great that you’re working on yourself, but you can’t leave her behind while you do it. Not if you want her to be there when you’re ready for her.”

“Any suggestions on how to do that?”

He laughs, and nods. “Don’t sleep with other woman when it’s her you want. Don’t even date them. And, be there for her as a friend if you’re not ready to be her lover. I made so many mistakes with Reina, and I’m lucky she forgave me, but those things I mentioned are the things that still haunt me. If I could go back in time and change anything at all, I would’ve treated her better and let her know there would never be anyone else for me.”

“I’m sensing a theme here since Nate said he messed up with Jade, too.”

“Yeah, if you talk to any guy in this building, you’re going to hear about what jackasses we were when it came to our women. We’re all a bunch of lucky SOBs, that’s for sure.”

“I’m not feeling so bad about things right now, so thanks for that.”

“Glad my former misery could help you out. Good talk.”

He gives me the apartment number I need, and we ride in the elevator together, although my stop is several floors lower than his. I’m alone now, and I can’t even pretend to be confident as I stand outside Viv’s door.

Before I can knock, it opens, and there she is. Her eyes go wide when they see me, and they’re even wider when she sees the bag in my hand. I hold it out to her like it’s a precious gift, and she grabs it, pulling it to her chest.

“Why do you have my dinner?”

“Because I was an ass downstairs, and I needed to apologize.”

“Go ahead.”

“Damn, I thought I’d never see this feisty side of you again.”

“I’m waiting.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t even say hello to you downstairs.”

“That’s a good start.”

“Start?”

“I believe you have other things to apologize to me for. If you’re not ready to do it now, you can come back when you are.”

She turns to walk away, but I grab her arm. “I’m sorry for hurting you in Cardiff. I was in a bad place, but I never should’ve taken it out on you.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.”

“Can we talk?”

She looks like she might deny me, but then she nods. “Yes, but you’re not getting any of my food.”

“Deal.”

I follow her inside, and wait while she makes herself a plate of the pasta I carried up for her. There’s some left, and it looks really good, but I’m not about to ask if I can have it. She said I couldn’t, and I can certainly wait to eat until after we’ve talked.

“Do you want the rest of this?”

“Yes, but I know you don’t want to share.”

“That was petty of me, and I hate being petty.”

“I remember,” I tell her, walking over to her kitchen island, and taking a seat.

She smiles while opening the refrigerator. “Beer?”

“No, thanks. I’m staying away from alcohol right now.”

“Do tell.”

“Nate, Aiden, Matt, Jake, and Theo agreed to help me work out, and learn to fight. Plus, I’m doing some other stuff, and alcohol just doesn’t seem like a good idea right now.”

“Reina said you weren’t working with X, but she also said he didn’t fire you.”

“No, I’m not fired. Just taking a break.”

“Oh, okay.”

She looks confused and I don’t blame her, but I’m not ready to tell her everything yet. I need to divert, so I just dive right in to the reason I wanted to talk to her.

“Do you think we could be friends again?”

“Friends? You want to be friends with me?”

“Yeah. I do.”

Viv

Three words a woman—or man—never want to hear from the person they’re in love with are “let’s be friends”. Rhys didn’t say that exactly, but it’s pretty much the same. I want everything, and he’s friend-zoning me.

“I don’t know how to answer that,” I tell him honestly.

“Is it such a bad thing to be friends with me?”

“Only when I want more.”

“Oh,” he says, his eyes going wide. “I want more too, but this is what I have to offer right now.”

“So, you don’t want to date other women?”

“What? No. Not at all. Never.”

“Never?”

“Never. It’s all you.”

I see the truth in his eyes, so I know he means it, but I’m not sure I can do this with him. “We can try.”

“We were good friends.”

“The best.”

“It’s all I’ve got, Viv.”

“You keep saying that, but it’s not making this any easier for me. Can you tell me why this is all you’ve got for me?”

“Not yet.”

“You’re asking me for a lot, and giving me nothing in return.”

“I’m a good friend when I try, and I’ll try harder for you than I’ve ever tried in my life.”

How can I say no to that? “Okay. Friends.”

“Thank you.”

I don’t say anything, because I don’t know what to say. I was heartbroken when he didn’t acknowledge me, hopeful when I saw him in the hallway with my food, and now I’m a little sad. Sad, and disappointed.

“I’m going to start working with Reina tomorrow,” I say, trying to break this awkward silence we’ve descended into. “She asked me to help women like me, who have to be hidden.”

“You’ll be great at that.”

“I hope so.”

“You will.”

His faith in me makes me feel better. He was always my biggest champion when we were friends, and then lovers, and I know he’ll support me now.

“Thanks.”

“Do you want to go to a movie tomorrow?” he blurts out, turning red. It’s the most adorable thing I’ve seen in a long time. “As friends, I mean. To celebrate your new job.”

“Yes. I’d like that.”

“You can pick.”

“Can we go to the movie theater downtown where they serve you dinner?”

“Sure.”

I start to think about what I want to wear, and then stop myself. This isn’t a date, and it doesn’t matter what I wear. I try to keep the smile on my face, but it must’ve slipped, because Rhys reaches out to take my hand.

“What’s wrong, Vivs?”

“Nothing.”

“People only say that when it’s something.”

“Or when it’s nothing.”

“Tell me. We’re friends, remember?”

“Okay, friend. What do I do when I want to dress for a date, but it’s not one?”

He blows out a long breath. “You dress the way you want, and know your friend is going to appreciate whatever you choose.”

“I’ll probably just throw on jeans and a t-shirt.”

“Whatever you want.”

No, it’s not. It’s not at all what I want. But, it’s what I have, and it’s more than what I had yesterday. Being thankful for small favors has never been so hard before.