I’ve spent the last four days hiding out in the bedroom and still Sean’s gone. With each day that passes, my anxiety grows. His absence feels like a punishment, but it’s one I deserve. It’s my fault he left.

My bruises barely show; my body is healing much faster than my mind ever will. Under the pretense of being sick, I’ve allowed myself more time to think, but I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. I can’t find peace within for what I’ve done. I can’t forgive myself for pushing Sean away.

I sleep in Coy’s bed but we haven’t had sex. Not since being with Sean. I tell Coy it’s because I’m hurt and use his distaste for the ugly yellowing marks on my skin to my advantage. They’re evidence of his own demons—ones he’d rather not face. He’s sorry, but he’s also embarrassed. He’s always reserved his anger for me, but this time he’s given his bandmates a glimpse at his darker side.

Sad as it is, my physical bruises aren’t why I push Coy away. I can’t get over the feeling that sleeping with him would be a total betrayal to Sean, and that’s something I can’t bring myself to do. Even for Coy.

I don’t ask if he read my notebook. I don’t say much to him at all. I feign sleep each time he comes in after long hours in the studio, and for whatever reason, he lets me.

I haven’t run into Deb once, though she knocks at the door each evening and leaves a plate of food. I’m an expert at fading into nothing, a skill I’ve practiced my whole life. But she’s the only one who seems to notice I’m still here. I miss her friendship, and that’s the reason I push myself to get dressed to join her outside this morning rather than continue hiding.

I shove my hands into the back pockets of my shorts and chew my bottom lip as I step off the back patio toward the garden. “Need any help?”

Deb glances up and squints against the sunlight. “Sure.” She takes me in a moment and gives a nod. “Why don’t you help me weed this section. I’m almost done.”

I wiggle my fingers into the fabric of my gloves and kneel across from her. My shades afford me protection from both the sun and her calculating stare. The smell of the freshly tilled dirt invigorates my soul. I’ve come to love gardening. There’s a joy in caring for what’s planted so it can grow.

“Feeling better?” The way she asks, I wonder if she doesn’t buy that I’ve been ill. “Trent says you’ve been fighting off one hell of a bug.”

“Oh, yeah.” I nod and pick out a few weeds. “Much better. Thank you.”

“I’ve missed your help. Not that I can’t do this alone, but I’ve gotten quite used to your company, Jess. I’ll miss you when you go on tour.”

I pause and glance up. “Me, too.” I’d rather stay here. The words beg to be let out, but I press my lips together and reach for another weed. I’m not looking forward to the upcoming tour. I’m dreading it, but I don’t know what else to do. I don’t have many options. It’s not as if I can stay back and survive on my own.

“Hey, Jess?” Bedo’s sharp voice calls across the lawn. I didn’t think he even knew my name. “Can we see you in here for a minute?”

His request fills me with dread. I don’t know what he wants, but my gut tells me it can’t be good. “Oh, yeah. Sure.” I blow out a breath to calm my racing pulse as I peel off my gloves. “I’ll be right back.”

“Take your time. I’ll be here.” Deb’s reassuring smile settles my apprehension.

Inside, I find Bedo and one of the girls from Off Track waiting in the living room. He taps on the phone and doesn’t glance up at my approach. “Have a seat.” He presses a button on his cell and sets it down to motion toward the open couch.

“Sure.” I step around the low table and sink into the plush cushion. This feels very much like being called to the principal’s office as a child, and I tuck my fingers under my knees so I won’t fidget.

“We’re a little confused and hoping you can help us out.” Bedo points at the young woman across from him. “This is Erika. She handles PR issues and other projects for us. I’ll let her explain.”

Erika smiles and meets my gaze. “Did Coy tell you about the tour stops, and the music festival in Canada?”

“Yeah.” I fight the urge to pull my bottom lip between my teeth. Her smile is warm, but Bedo’s narrow stare bubbles my growing anxiety.

“We had a little hiccup with your passport application. I’m sure Coy wrote down a wrong number on the application. Maybe marked the wrong month or something. We’ll figure it out, and we have people who can rush it through, but we’ll need a copy of your birth certificate and social security card.” She blinks expectantly. “Can you grab those for us?”

“Oh, um. I don’t have them.” Their stares make me wonder what exactly Coy told them or what he wrote on that application. “Coy said it wouldn’t be a problem.”

“You don’t have a birth certificate?” Bedo’s eyes widen and he exhales in a rush.

“Coy didn’t tell you?” I can’t believe he did this. Anger along with irritation boils beneath the fear that I’ll finally have to face what I’ve been avoiding since I was sixteen years old. “They were lost. In a fire.”

“Okay. When and where did that happen?” Bedo turns to Erika and bugs his eyes. He doesn’t even try to hide his annoyance. “This gonna be a problem?”

“We can expedite replacements.” She nods, her pen posed above her notebook. “Jess, what state were you born in?”

This is it. I can lie and delay the inevitable with the hope my past won’t catch up, or I can come clean, tell the truth, and face it head on. For the first time in my life, I realize I’m tired of running.

“I don’t know what state I was born in.”

She glances up and her eyes widen with the lift of her brow. “Oh?”

“Yeah, but I grew up in the foster care system in Utah, so maybe there?” A weight I didn’t realize I was carrying lightens with just those words. I know it will lead to everything being exposed. To the truth. But I’ve already lived it, and nothing could be worse than that. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what Coy told you but I don’t have any documentation. The last home I was in . . . it wasn’t a good place. There was an accident. After that, I left.”

“But you’re over eighteen?”

“I’m twenty-five.”

“Well, thank fuck for that.” Bedo rolls his eyes and it only exacerbates the shame I carry for being such a screw-up.

Erika’s lips press together and she reaches over to rest her hand on my shoulder. “How have you been living all this time without proper ID? Didn’t you ever contact the state?”

“I left before I turned eighteen with a . . . friend. I couldn’t go back because I couldn’t afford to. I never looked back. It wasn’t a place I considered home. I was barely scraping by before Coy . . . before we met.”

“Okay, so this might prove a little more problematic. But I’m certain we can get things in order.” Erika smiles and snaps her notebook shut with a nod to Bedo. I don’t know if I should believe her, but I do appreciate her kindness.

Bedo purses his lips and gives his head a little shake. “Anything else we should know, Jess? Before we start digging around on your behalf? We’re going to take care of this, because for some reason Coy insists you come along with him on this tour, but if we’re walking into a shit storm, a heads up sure would be nice.”

“It helps to get a jump on what the press might dig up.” Erika watches me like a hawk and it takes everything in my power not to panic. I’m a nobody. Why would the press care about me?

Memories crash in my mind and threaten to drown my focus, but I don’t allow the fear to rule me. Not anymore. My lips part to speak, but before I can, Bedo’s phone rings.

He glances down at the screen. “Excuse me, I need to take this.” Pushing from his chair, he walks out of the room. “Please tell me you have good news this time.”

There’s a brief moment of silence and I glance down at my hands clenched together in my lap.

“God fucking hell! You have got to be kidding me!” Erika and I meet each other’s stare as Bedo’s words carry down the hall. “Well, then, fucking find him!” He cusses again before re-appearing in the doorway. “Erika, we’re gonna have to table this for now. I need you on something else. Now.”

“Sure thing, Bedo. What’s up?”

He glances at me and I get the impression he’d rather I leave, but since he doesn’t ask, I stay put. “Iz checked himself out of rehab.”

“What?” Both Erika and I say at the same time.

“Fucking hell. We do not need this shit. I am so close to . . .” He pinches his eyes shut and rubs at his temples before reopening them. “Never mind. The priority is tracking down Iz and getting him back where he belongs.”

“I’m on it, boss.” Erika pulls open a laptop and begins typing.

“Shouldn’t we tell Sean?” The words blurt from my mouth and Bedo cocks his head as his eyes land on me. Shit. “I mean, and the rest of the band.”

He raises an eyebrow with an unwavering stare. “They know where he went? I had the impression they were no longer on speaking terms with Iz.”

Shit. Shit. Shit. I wave him off and push to my feet. “Oh, yeah. Sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten in the middle—”

“That’s right, Jess. Stay out of this. We will handle it. It’s what we do best.” He holds my stare and it takes everything in me to not melt under the pressure, but I refuse to look away first. “We’re done for now. You can go.”

“Right. Thanks,” I offer lamely, and beeline out of the room. My cell is tucked in my back pocket. Waging the struggle between what’s right and wrong, my fingers itch to dial Sean. He left because he can’t stand to be around me. He asked for time and space. But as I step outside and shut the door behind me, I decide to go against his wishes as well as Bedo’s.

I stroll in the opposite direction of the garden until I’m under the shade of a tree before calling. It doesn’t even ring three times.

“Jess?”

“Sean, I . . . I’m sorry for calling. I just . . . There’s something I think you should know.”

“Is everything okay?” His voice is laced with concern and it only makes my heart ache more. I miss him. “Are you okay?”

No. I’m not, but this isn’t about me. “Iz. He checked himself out of rehab. He’s missing.”

“How did you—?”

“I overheard Bedo. I don’t think he wants you to know.” I glance around to make sure no one eavesdrops.

“Thank you, Jess. Thank you. I mean that.” The static in the line rushes with his long exhale.

“Sean, what can I do? How can I help?”

“Just stay there, okay? Keep me posted if you hear anything. I’ll catch a flight out as soon as I can.”

“I can do that.”

“And Jess?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s really good to hear your voice.” His admission is more than I deserve, but I soak up the warmth of it. “I’ll be home soon. ’Bye.”

“’Bye.” I end the call and shove my phone in my back pocket before going back to the garden. I wish I could do more. I wish I could help find Iz, but I’m totally helpless and useless. Amid all of that, I can’t help but entertain joy at the thought of Sean coming home. I didn’t realize how much I missed him until I heard his voice. Or how much I was afraid he’d hate me after the way we parted, but no, of course he had to say something sweet and kind. Something that makes me wish for what can never be.

“Everything okay, Jess?” Deb peels her gloves off at my approach and drops them at the edge of the planter. She wipes her hands on the front of her pants.

“No. Nothing’s all right.” It all hits me. Everything. I shake my head and tears threaten to prick my eyes. I shouldn’t burden her with my problems. I don’t deserve sympathy or understanding. But this is the first place I’ve considered home. Not by the location, but by the people inside it. I don’t know what’ll happen when Sean comes back, but I know it won’t be good. I fear that Coy will hurt him. That my time with Deb, Sean, and even Trent and Austin is dwindling by the second and I don’t know how to stop it.

“Hey, none of that.” Deb wraps me in her arms and I lean into her embrace. “Oh, Jess.” Her hug is safe and that’s enough for the tears to fall.

My body shudders with cries that I try to hold in, but Deb stays, never once pushing me out of her arms. I cry more. I cry until I physically can’t.

“Come on. Let’s get you inside.”

I follow her into the kitchen where she points for me to sit, and fills two big glasses with water. “That heat, it’s too much sometimes. And with you just feeling better.” She scoots onto the barstool next to me and pats my back. I appreciate the out she’s given me, but I wonder if it’s only a test to see if I’ll tell the truth.

I’m scared to confide in anyone. I’ve only ever let my most honest thoughts swirl around inside, because if I don’t let them out, I don’t really have to face them. But there’s something earnest about Deb. Maybe it’s her take-no-shit attitude, but I want to voice what lays so heavy on my heart.

“I’m not sick. I haven’t been.” I trace patterns in the stone countertop and chance a glance at her.

“I know.” She smiles sadly. “You don’t have to tell me, but if you want, I’ll listen. I’m pretty good at it.”

“I think I’ve really screwed up.” I chance another look, but in her gaze I see no judgment as she waits for me to continue. “Sean left because of me.”

“No, Jess. Sean left because of how he feels about you.”

“You already . . . ?”

“He talked to Trent before he left. But I’ve been around that kid since he was sixteen. I already knew. It’s painted all over his face every time you walk in the room.”

“Oh.” My cheeks heat and I wonder if I’m the only one who didn’t notice. If everyone else knew how he felt this entire time, no wonder Coy lost it.

“I love him like he’s my own son, but we’re not talking about Sean. We’re talking about you. Why aren’t you okay?”

My chin trembles as I try to pinpoint an answer. It’s everything. Though that’s not entirely true. “I don’t want to go on tour with the band.” I shake my head the second the words leave my lips. “But I promised Coy.”

“Coy.” She stares so long I have to glance away. “You care about him.” She offers finally.

“I do.” But not the way I did before. Before . . . Sean. “Everything’s changed since we moved here.”

“You’ve changed.”

I shake my head no, but that isn’t the truth. It isn’t Coy who’s changed at all. This is always the man he’s been. He’s always been jealous. Selfish and cruel when stressed. Loving and enlivening when he’s not.

“You have, Jess. It’s not an insult, it’s a compliment. Think about it. Hell, you make a pretty mean baked ziti for someone who only knew how to boil noodles a month ago.”

“Thanks.” My cheeks heat with her compliment. “Thank you for teaching me so much. You’ve never made me feel stupid for not knowing things.”

“Don’t ever let anyone make you feel that way. Those kind of people are not your friends.”

I don’t have friends. Or rather, I didn’t before coming here. Deb is my friend and so is Sean. Or he was. “I just don’t know what to do.”

“It’s hard to make difficult choices, but I have faith in you.” She squeezes my hand atop the counter. “And you’re not alone, okay?”

I nod, unable to answer without bursting into more tears. I’ve never in my entire life had anyone tell me they have faith in me. I almost don’t believe her, except this is Deb and she has no reason to be anything other than honest.

“Why don’t we both go have a shower and meet down here in an hour? I need to get out of here for a few hours. We’ll go have lunch, get a little shopping done, and then come back to make dinner for the boys. That sound okay?”

Delightful. She’s too good to me, but a nod yes is all I can manage. I have some hard choices to make, but she’s providing me an escape. It’s only a few hours, but I’ll take it.

* * *

The afternoon with Deb is perfect. She doesn’t bring up our earlier conversation and it’s the mental break I need. We browse in a few boutiques and she treats me to lunch at a trendy sandwich shop. On our way back home we stop at the grocery store for a few items.

“Sorry, I forgot to get these earlier.” Deb says as we wait in the checkout line. A woman three customers ahead appears to be buying out the store’s complete supply of liter soda, and no other lines are open.

“It’s no problem,” I say, and my gaze drifts over her shoulder to the celebrity tabloids. The headlines call out for attention like a needy little child in the lineup of products.

A Botox Fail for Dynasty’s Golden Girl

Pop Star Yazmin Goes to Rehab

Divorce! The Reason Drew Harold Left: The Scandalous Tell-All Exposé!

My mind filters through the words, not paying much attention until my gaze lands on someone I know.

Three Ugly Guys’ Bassist Goes Down: His Exhibitionist Kink Revealed!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God! My breath catches in my throat as blood rushes to my face. The glossy black and white photo captures me clearly with my head tilted back in ecstasy. There are several of Sean, too. Our intimate parts are blurred out, but it’s clear to any adult what’s going on.

“Jess, are you o—oh.” Deb’s gaze finds the magazine and I wish I could disappear. “Oh!”

“I-I . . .” I don’t even know what to say or how to explain what’s already shouted in bold print headlines. It’s embarrassing that thousands of complete strangers will see photographic evidence of the best sex of my life. Creepy that someone was watching to take those photos the entire time. But, hell, when I think of how Coy will react? I can’t breathe. I have to get to him before he sees this.

“It’s okay, Jess. It’s okay. We’ll figure it out.” Deb deserts our shopping basket and tugs me outside to the car. She doesn’t say anything else, but her foot plays heavy on the gas and her hand bounces nervously on the gear shift.

There’s a chance Coy hasn’t seen this. That no one knows yet. It was a gossip rag, and Coy can’t stand those publications. But what about the rest of the band? What about Sean? I thought I’d screwed up before, but this . . . this is even worse. And when Coy finds out? When he sees for himself that I not only cheated on him, but that I lied? He won’t only want to kill Sean. He’ll punish me, too.

“Jess.” I glance over and notice Deb’s already pulled into the garage. I didn’t even realize she cut the engine.

“I have to get to him first.”

“I’m sorry your privacy was violated, but we’ll deal with this. It’ll be okay.” Her concern is for me, but she doesn’t know Coy like I do. None of this is okay.

“I need to talk to Coy.” I get out of the car and trudge into the house to meet my fate. It’s quiet on the main floor, and darker as dusk settles outside. They must still be practicing. That’s a good thing. I walk to the edge of the stairway that leads down to the studio, but before my foot hits the first step, my cell buzzes in my back pocket. It hardly ever rings, and when I pull it out Sean’s name scrolls across the screen.

“Hey, Sean.” My nerves bubble with his reason for calling. He must have heard.

“Hey, my flight just landed. I’m grabbing a ride and should be home within an hour. Any news about Iz?”

Iz. Right. That’s why he’s calling. I walk toward the front entry where my voice won’t carry. “Oh, um. I was out with Deb most of the afternoon. I’m sorry, I should have tried to find out more.” I worry my bottom lip between my teeth at how selfish it was for me to leave at all when I should have been snooping around.

“That’s okay. We’ll figure it out when I get to the house.” His breath falls heavy in the line, and the cacophony of airport noises paints the background. “Jess?”

“Yeah?”

“I can’t wait to see you.”

“Oh.” His sentiment cuts right through my worries, and even an hour feels so far away. There’s nothing I want more than to collapse in the safety of his arms.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and I want to ask what for. “We’ll talk when I get home.”

“Sean, there’s something I need to tell you.” I need to warn him about the article, but more because of how Coy will react.

“Jess?” Coy’s hard tone startles me from behind. The phone shakes in my hand and I almost drop it before I can end the call.

“Who was that?” He presses the wall switch and from overhead the entry chandelier illuminates his deep scowl as he stalks closer.

“No one.” Fear creeps up my spine and adrenaline surges in my veins, shouting for me to run, but even I know that’s useless. My hands tremble and begin to shake with the buzz of another incoming call. Shit.

Coy narrows his gaze and rips the phone away. Sean’s name scrolls across the screen and it’s as if I can visibly see the switch flip in Coy’s brain as he goes from suspicious to livid. My phone flies from his fist and shatters into a million tiny pieces around us.

“You want to tell me why that fuck is calling my girlfriend?”

I want to be brave. I want to stand up for once, but it’s as if my body knows its place when it comes to Coy. My shoulders drop and I shrink into myself, bracing for his temper.

“You think you’re so fucking clever, don’t you?” he screams when I don’t answer. “Don’t you?”

“I don’t think that.” The words leave my lips in a rush.

His hand comes hard and fast against my face. “Don’t fucking lie to me!”

Tears well in my eyes at the impact but I refuse to let them fall.

He squeezes my arms, grabbing just below my shoulders, and shakes my entire body. “He make you feel good? You like making a fucking fool of me? I saw, Jess. I fucking saw it.”

The magazine? Or how I started falling for Sean right under Coy’s watch? Either way, he needs to understand it wasn’t premeditated. I didn’t mean to sleep with another man. “No, Coy. It wasn’t like that.”

“What was it like?” He squeezes so hard my arms tingle. “Screwing over your boyfriend? You do this shit when I was upstairs in our bed?” He shakes me so hard my head snaps back. “You sneak down here and fuck him outside?”

“I never,” I whisper, and slam my eyes shut to take another hit.

“Get your hands off of her.” Deb’s matter of fact command snaps my eyes open to witness her rushing into the foyer. Austin and Trent’s footsteps follow.

“None of this concerns you.” Coy pushes me behind him, but Deb doesn’t back down.

She strides toward him, her brows lifting with each step. “It does concern me because you laid your hands on that girl.” She doesn’t stop until she’s inches away. “I think it’s time for you to go, Coy.”

“Go?” He rears back with a mean laugh. “I live here, lady, and you don’t have any fucking clue who you’re talking to.”

“Dude.” Trent steps to his mom’s side. “You don’t get to talk to my mom that way. Apologize.”

Coy scoffs and cracks his knuckles. “Apologize? For what, exactly? That my girlfriend is a fucking cunt?” He narrows his stare on Deb and stabs his finger into her shoulder. “You knew, didn’t you? You both had a big fucking laugh behind my back while she screwed Sean. Didn’t think I’d find out? Fucking whores.”

Trent shoves Coy and the force knocks him back. Coy stumbles, his body hits my shoulder, and I try to get out of the way. I trip, unable to catch my balance, and my butt slams into the hard stone flooring.

Deb rushes to help me up as Coy and Trent shove each other.

“That’s enough!” I scream, surprising not only myself but everyone else.

Coy turns his glare on me. “I was cheating on you, too, you pathetic whore! The entire time we were together.” He stomps forward. “You want to be treated like a fucking slut? Do you? Who you gonna fuck next? Who?” The danger and unleashed fury spill from his words. His eyes narrow and I swear there’s evil in their depths.

I step back with each movement he takes forward until my back hits the wall. I cower and ready myself to accept another hit.

Austin slides in front of me, blocking my body. “Okay, that’s enough.”

“What? You want a turn with her now? Get in line, because God knows who she’s been fucking—”

There isn’t even time for me to scream before Austin rears back and socks Coy in the nose with a solid right hook. Austin doesn’t come across as an athlete. In fact, I’ve always assumed he was the lazy one, not ever really moving with speed or purpose. But the crunch of bone on bone is audible, and for a second I’m not sure who’s hurt.

Coy lunges toward Austin, but he ducks out of his reach. Losing his balance, Coy hits the floor on his knees. Blood streams from his nose but his eyes narrow with determination. “You’re gonna pay for that.”

“How about you leave?” Austin goads. “You aren’t welcome here anymore.”

“That so?” Coy pushes to his feet and straightens his spine. He wipes the blood away with the back of his hand and turns to Austin with raised fists.

“So, that’s a no?” Austin rolls his eyes and when Coy doesn’t move. He raises his fists and bounces on the balls of his feet. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Anyone ever tell you to shut your mouth?” Coy attacks with a strike that Austin dodges.

“All the fucking time.” Austin grins, dips his chin, and shocks all of us as he lands three rapid jabs to Coy’s stomach.

Coy grunts with the impact and reaches out for Austin. They fall to the ground, scraping around until Coy’s on top. I cringe at the next punch, but it’s Austin who gains the upper hand, landing hit after hit to Coy’s body.

Coy hesitates and Austin throws him off center, pinning him to the ground with his legs.

He fakes a punch to his gut, but as Coy blocks it, Austin lands a hook to Coy’s eye that snaps his head so hard we all hear the impact.

Coy’s gaze holds Austin’s a moment longer, but then his body goes limp as he’s knocked out.

“Shit.” Trent’s gaze bounces between Austin and Coy’s crumbled form as if he can’t believe what happened.

Austin climbs off the floor, turns his back to Coy, and shakes out his hand. “Fuck, that hurt.” He chuckles, but as his gaze settles on mine, his lips turn downward.

I wait for him to ask me to leave. This is the moment I’ve been prepared for since setting foot in this house, really.

“Your eye. Come on, let’s get some ice on that.”

“Ice?” I’m confused.

“Yeah, your face is pretty fucked up right now.” He reaches out to touch my skin but out of habit I flinch. The lines on his face soften. “Sorry, that was rude.”

A giggle tumbles from my lips at his candor. Why it’s so funny I can’t say, other than I was expecting him to kick me out and instead he’s more concerned for my safety.

“Cops will be here in a few minutes.” Deb steps back into the room. I didn’t even notice her leave.

“Oh, God. Better send up the bat signal.” I don’t understand the reference, and when Trent catches my stare he clarifies. “Bedo. He gets pissed when we don’t give him a heads up.”

Right. “Doesn’t he get pissed anyway?”

“Why, yes, he does!” Austin laughs and pats Trent’s shoulder with a slap. “I like her.”

“Stay inside.” Deb peeks through the curtains. “The paparazzi will be swarming as soon as they get word.”

“Okay.” Trent nods and levels his stare on me. “Don’t worry, Jess. We got your back. You never have to see him again. Never.”

I should feel bad. It shouldn’t be so easy to walk away from the man who saved you, but it is. Coy isn’t who he was. I’m no longer a young, naïve girl. He was going to hurt Deb. He would’ve beat me in front of his friends, and I’m certain he would have hurt them, too.

“Come on.” Austin nods toward the kitchen. “Let’s go get some ice.”

My gaze drops to Coy’s crumpled body. A sense of calm settles the rapid beats of my heart at his immobility. There’s no part of me that even wants to check whether he’s still breathing, and I turn to follow Austin.

He grabs two towels from a drawer, lays them on the counter, and drops two handfuls of ice inside before wrapping them up. He hands one to me and sets the other on his knuckles. “You’ll press charges? We all will.”

The cold against my skin stings and I wince at the burn. I’m angry at Coy, but I’m guilty of setting him off. Those photos of Sean and me hurt. I don’t want to be vindictive. I just want to be free.

“Jess . . .” Austin draws my name out until I meet his stare. His gaze is kind and sincere, “You don’t deserve to be treated that way. No one does.”

Trent steps into the doorway and braces his hands on the framing. Worry etches into his brow.

“I don’t want to ruin his life.” My admission only furrows their brows more, but it’s how I feel. Coy’s already killed his shot with Three Ugly Guys. If I press charges, it’ll only help ruin career opportunities in his future.

“Coy wasn’t lying. He cheated on you.” Austin’s revelation gains my total attention. He shrugs as though he doesn’t really want to tell me. “He has a few times.”

Trent swears and runs his hand through his hair. I don’t know him well enough to understand why Austin’s words have him so upset.

“What? Sorry, but I wasn’t gonna rat him out. You know how it goes, bros before . . .” He winces with an apologetic grin. “Girlfriends?”

“Austin, do you have a fucking point?” Trent’s glare lands on his friend.

“Yeah, I do.” Austin levels me with his stare. “Coy is responsible for his actions. We can’t let him get away with this. He’ll only do it to someone else. You’ve been treated like shit, but I don’t see you throwing punches and picking on someone smaller than you. There’s no excuse for that behavior.” He shrugs and checks his hand beneath the ice pack, working his fingers open and closed a few times before meeting my gaze. “If you don’t split now? Jess, that dude is fucked in the head. He hits you hard enough and you don’t get to wake up.”

The doorbell interrupts our heart to heart. “Oh, the cops are here! I’ll get it!” Austin pushes off the counter, drops the ice in the sink, and struts to the door. “Fingers crossed there’s a hot chick officer!”

Trent steps into the kitchen as Austin passes by. His stare is almost uncomfortable and he shrugs.

“He’s . . .” The words die on my lips as I don’t exactly know what to say.

“An idiot. Mostly.” He grins. “But what he said was true. I hope you understand what Coy did is totally unacceptable. We don’t want someone like that associated with us.”

“What about the tour? What will you do?” I can’t imagine they have a backup plan in place, especially only days from leaving.

“Fucking drummers.” Trent rolls his eyes. “We’ll find someone. We always do. I’d actually like to thank you for your scandalous escapades with Sean. Without them we would have had to deal with this shit while on tour. At least we have, what, four days?” He winks. “Bedo’s gonna love that.”

“I’m really sorry.” I am.

“Don’t be.” His lips press together in a firm line a moment before he cocks one eyebrow. “But you might try and track down Sean before he reads about this on his own.”

“Oh, um, actually . . .” Crap. Sean. He’ll be walking in that door any minute. I feel totally unprepared.

“What?”

“Sean’s on his way back. He’ll be here soon.”

Surprise arches Trent’s brow and his mouth falls open. “Tonight?”

“I, um, Iz checked himself out of rehab. I overheard Bedo and I thought Sean would want to know.” I don’t want Trent getting the wrong idea that I intended to stir this up. “It all happened this morning. I didn’t know anything about the tabloid piece. I swear.”

“Shit.” Trent runs his fingers through the waves of his hair and tucks it back behind his ears.

I can’t help but feel responsible for the stress this causes him and the rest of the band. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m just worried about Iz. I thought he was doing better. He sounded fine in his messages.” Trent’s gaze trains on the floor.

“He called you?”

“Several times. I never pick up though. Shit.” He grabs his phone and touches the screen, searching for something. He presses a button and Iz’s raspy voice amplifies from the speaker.

“Hey man, it’s me. I want you to know I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you or any of the guys. I understand why you don’t want to talk. I wouldn’t want to talk to myself either. But I needed to tell you I’m sorry, and I’m thankful. Playing with the band . . . it was everything, man. Everything. And this . . . it’s just not for me. I’m done, man. But I love you like a brother. Tell Lexi I love her too.”

“He left that on my cell last night. I meant to check it but we’ve been so busy getting ready, and with Sean gone, I just . . . shit! I should have picked up. Been encouraging him. I was just so angry, and then I didn’t want to deal. I figured he was safe there and I’d talk to him once he got out.” Trent’s shoulders fall with the weight of his words.

“It’s not your fault he checked out.”

Trent lifts his chin and nods. “And Bedo knows about this? You’re sure?”

“Positive.”

He glances back at the voices coming from the front entry but doesn’t move to follow. “Why didn’t he tell us? We were together all day.”

Setting the ice pack on the counter, I rub my fingers against each other, debating whether I should say more. I don’t know Trent, but given the person Deb is, I take a chance that I can trust him. “I got the feeling earlier that Bedo didn’t want you to know.”

He lifts his brows. “How’d you get the feeling?”

“He asked me not to interfere.” I chew at my bottom lip.

“But you called Sean?” Trent dips his chin as if that’s hard to believe. Or maybe he’s skeptical of my motives. Given the circumstances, he has every right to be.

“Iz is important to him.”

Austin appears in the doorway. “Uh, hate to break up the party, but we’ve got cops and a shitbag drummer who’s starting to wake up, so . . . yeah.”

“Okay, then.” Trent gestures for me to leave first. “Let’s get this over with, because next we’ve got a different drummer to track down.”