CHAPTER 12
Garrison
I stare at the ceiling in Cuzzo’s living room. It’s nearly three in the morning but I haven’t slept a wink. After Dante’s, Sawyer wanted to go back to her mother’s. She didn’t want to talk about the meeting with Dante, she didn’t want to hold my hand, she just wanted to stare out the window, and disappear into her childhood home. There were no plans made of where we’d go next or when we’d see each other again. No, she opened the door to the Beast and walked into that house like some kind of zombie. I sat in the driveway for a good couple of hours, watching the house, listening for her loud music, and hopefully waiting on a text but I got nothing. No movement, no noise, no texts so I headed back to Cuzzo’s where I retreated into his place like a zombie of my own.
I spent the rest of the night memorizing the files on Samuel Ellington and Dean Sawyer, searching for any clues to which one is her father. After watching her disappointment today, from someone we were almost one hundred percent sure wasn’t her father, I honestly don’t know if I’m strong enough to experience it if neither of these two guys are her biological dad. After hours of reading about both of these men, searching the Internet for them, and weeding through social media accounts that could potentially be theirs, I still couldn’t guess which man it could be. The obvious choice would be Dean Sawyer and her mother named her after him but it could also mean nothing.
Yawning, I pick up the file, ready to peruse it once again, searching for something I overlooked. I skim over the papers, my eyelids getting heavy, and when I look at the clock again, I’m flutter my eyes open after a cat nap and it’s nearly 6AM. I shake my head, trying to wake myself up but deciding a shower is probably the best idea. Anxious to get back to Sawyer, I take the world’s fastest shower then head over to Sawyer’s, stopping at Casey’s gas station to get us each a cup of coffee. When I park in front of her house less than an hour later, I already feel better when I hear the music flowing outside. Sawyer’s getting her groove back…
Sawyer
My hair is tied up tightly in a bun to at least keep that hot mess out of my way but sweat still stings my eyes as it rolls off my forehead. I chug a bottle of water, trying to rehydrate after my all night cryfest. Damn Garrison for taking me to Dante and damn Dante for reiterating how amazing my mother was. I want to find my father so I can let out my anger on him, shout at him for leaving us, not to find men who thought my mother was wonderful. I already know that and it breaks my heart even more that I wasn’t the only one who knew that.
Tears prick at my eyes but I can’t, I won’t, let myself cry anymore. I wipe my hands on my black capri leggings and stand up, changing the song on my iPod. An upbeat tune fills the air and I nod, knowing I can work with it to dance out my emotions. The music gets faster and so does my body, twisting and turning, leaping and spinning however the rhythm takes me. This isn’t a choreographed dance, it’s freestyle and it’s doing just that, allowing me to be free. Free of my thoughts, free of my emotions, free of—
“Dammit!” My heart races as I spin directly into Garrison’s chest. “Why do you keep sneaking in on me like this?” I shout over the music, quickly moving away from him and turning it off. Even before I turn back around, I can feel Garrison’s gaze on my body and I wish I was wearing something more than this peach colored sports bra.
“Haven’t you learned you shouldn’t play your music so loudly that you can’t hear someone knock on the door?” Garrison asks, crossing his arms. “Or better yet, lock your fuckin’ door, woman!”
I scowl at him as I shake my head. “You know, you’re really bossy.” I stomp toward the kitchen, looking for some kind of escape or distraction.
Garrison clears his throat and I turn around to see him holding up an extra cup of coffee in hand. “Thought you might need this if you sleep as well as I did.”
Studying the cup, I sigh and let go of my anger at Garrison. I’m still frustrated about yesterday but none of it is his fault. Closing the gap between us, I reach out and take the cup, smiling softly. “Thanks,” I whisper and take a sip.
“You’re beautiful when you dance,” Garrison says softly, his cheeks instantly turning red. No sooner are the words out of his mouth that he starts stammering. “I mean you’re always beautiful but when you dance, it’s graceful and elegant and—”
“Thank you,” I interrupt him, putting my fingers to his lips. A rush of intimacy runs through me and I’m torn whether I enjoy it or am I completely freaked out. So, like the idiot that I am, I stand there, with my finger on his mouth until I realize how incredibly awkward this is… except Garrison doesn’t seem to mind. I’ve seen him in uncomfortable situations before and normally, he’d be running his mouth or jumping to get away but instead, his shoulders relax and he tilts his head into my touch. Now that I’m aware of the possibility of this being awkward, I don’t know what to do next, but luckily, like always, Garrison does.
“Maybe you could show me some more?”
Gratefully, I drop my finger and nod until it’s too late to realize what that means. Me, dancing in front of Garrison, this time knowing that his eyes are on me… this is more intimidating than dancing on Broadway.
Garrison
Sawyer giggles nervously and I know what that means, her stress level is on high alert. I just don’t know if she’s fretting about the whole father situation or because I just asked her to dance for me. I knew before the question came out of my mouth that it was a bad idea because I know exactly how my body will react to watching her twist and turn the way she does. It’ll be in awe of the way she can gracefully move her body and in desire of wanting that body to move with mine in the bedroom.
I should retract my question but it was the only way I knew to get Sawyer out of the situation she put us in when she touched my lips. Our eyes locked and our souls talked more than either of us could ever say verbally. I tried to tell her she was beautiful but it came out wrong, like some kind of backhanded compliment. She was trying to save me from making an ass of myself and I was simply trying to repay the favor when her fingers lingered a little too long, letting us both enjoy it more than we should.
Sawyer’s giggling stops and I see a devilish look in her eyes. “I’ll show you but I need a partner.”
My stomach drops and my head is already shaking before I start talking. “If you’re implying me then you should think again. I’ve got two left feet and—”
Sawyer grabs my hand, interrupting me as she marches us over to her phone where she turns on her music. A slow song comes on and I want to punch myself for even suggesting this. I don’t dance, period.
Sawyer turns to me, taking my hand and wrapping it around hers. “This is a foxtrot. Listen to the music, there are four beats to one bar of music. Hear it?”
I listen carefully but I don’t hear anything other than my own heart racing. Sawyer cocks her head to the side, obviously listening much harder than I am. Thinking back to the cockpit of my jet, I try to calm down, reminding myself how to slow my heart rate and focus on the task at hand… finding those damn four beats of music but it’s no use. All I can concentrate on is Sawyer’s gorgeous eyes and the contentment of her hand in mine.
“You’re going to start with your left foot and take two walking steps slowly. Then move to your left side together so it’s slow, slow, quick, quick. I’ll lead until you get the hang of it, okay?”
I nod, trying to swallow but my mouth is so fuckin’ dry by the mere thought of having to coordinate my feet from my brain when I’m this close to Sawyer. Sawyer places my hand on her hip then puts her hand on my bicep. I squeeze her hip, not caring what she thinks of my affection. She takes the first step and whispers the directions for me.
“Slow, slow, quick, quick. Slow, slow, quick, quick.”
Closing my eyes, I focus on her words, blocking out the music and we seem to find the rhythm together. Her words are more melodious to me than the actual music and she makes it easy to follow her. After a few seconds, I open my eyes and look into hers.
Sawyer grins proudly at me. “You’re doing it!”
“Because of you,” I credit her.
“Like yesterday was because of you.”
I hesitate at her words but she keeps our bodies moving to the music. “Are you upset I took you to see Dante?” My words are strained as I feel awful about what happened.
Not taking her eyes off mine, she shakes her head. “Not at all. I… I just didn’t expect this to be so emotional.”
I narrow my eyes, confused. “How so? We’re trying to find your father, a man you’ve never met before. You didn’t expect it to be emotional?”
She giggles softly. “Well, yes, of course but I knew Dante wasn’t my father and it was still emotional to hear the impact my mother had on him, even if they only met for a short moment in time. I… I didn’t know that others thought of my mother the same way I did.”
“If she’s anything like you, Sawyer, she was probably loved by everyone she met.”
Now, it’s Sawyer that pauses but I keep us in rhythm.
“Loved?” she whispers.
Gulping at my choice of words, just like earlier, I shrug and nod. “Yeah, you know what I mean…”
Sawyer stares at me, stopping completely and forcing me to do the same. Her hands slide up my arms and run over the stumble on my cheek. She looks deep into my eyes and I know she wants this kiss as much as I do but it won’t happen, not on my watch. I’m here to help her in the hunt for her father, not to kiss her and make her have feelings… or shit, make me have feelings either. I take a step back, mumbling something about needing to get back to Cuzzo’s. In what seems like faster than my jet, I dart out the front door and sprint from Sawyer’s to Cuzzo’s, wondering how the hell I let things get so out of control.