Chapter 35
The first pair to arrive was the Wolf brothers. I threw my arms around them and held them close, and for much longer than usual. I was so nervous about this meeting, and they seemed to be the only men onboard. I wanted to soak up as much of them as possible.
“It’s gonna go just fine, love,” Terry said soothingly.
“Remember, you’re moving in anyway. You’ll see us. It’ll be fine, darling,” Tony said.
I ushered them in and sat them down on the couch. I stood at the window overlooking LA as silence uncomfortably descended. The Wolf brothers were people who wanted to fix things. They didn’t like someone feeling the way I was without being able to do something about it. I knew their minds were swirling with how they could get me to cheer up and feel better, how to get all the guys on my side.
Our side really.
But before they could suggest anything, a knock came at the door. I scrambled for it and ripped it open, smiling when I saw the Oakley brothers. Cole wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, then passed me off to Cameron, who slid those ticklish fingers down my sides.
“Hey now. Not cool,” I said, giggling.
“After what we pulled, I just wanted to see that beautiful smile,” Cameron said.
“We really are sorry,” Cole said.
“Just come on in and find a place to sit,” I said.
The Oakley brothers took up the love seat next to the couch the Wolf brothers were sitting on. I pulled over a couple chairs from the massive kitchen table, opting to stand instead of sit. I was full to the brim with nervous energy, and I’d never be able to sit down and have this conversation.
“Lexi?”
Courtney came out of her room, and I dashed over to her. I hugged her tightly and closed my eyes, secretly wishing she would stay. She rubbed my back while the men watched us hug, but as I pulled away, her eyes got stern.
“I’m coming back up here in forty-five minutes to check up on you. Okay?”
“Okay,” I said.
“If you need me before then, text me. I’ve got my phone.”
“You know you could just stay here if you wanted to,” I said.
“Well, I’m hungry, and you need to do this with them by yourself. I know the Jeremy thing took a toll on you and your confidence. It’s time you took that back for yourself.”
“Again, how did you get so smart?” I asked.
“Don’t get used to it. It stops once I leave this place tomorrow,” she said, grinning.
“I’ll see you soon,” I said.
“See you soon, Lexi.”
Just as she opened the door to leave, Kyle was raising his hand to knock. I ushered the Jameson brothers in while she slipped out the door. Both of them still looked sheepish and guilty.
“Don’t worry about it, guys. Just take a seat,” I said.
They each walked by me without a word but gave me a light kiss on the cheek. Kyle put his hand on my shoulder while Kevin wrapped his arm around my back. I sighed into his warmth, taking in his cotton-scented cologne just in case this was the last time I could.
“Take a seat a-anywhere, gentlemen.”
They all looked at me as the crack in my voice registered. I cursed myself for being so nervous, for not being able to keep my cool. The room was filling with men I’d come to enjoy, come to care for.
Come to love.
And there was a chance I’d lose all of that before they left.
Finally, at two minutes after eight, the Castle brothers arrived. I threw open the door, and Liam immediately scooped me up into his arms. He smelled of smoke and fire, and there was soot all over his face. I clung to him, holding him tightly as Logan came around and hugged me from behind.
“Are you guys all right?” I asked.
“We will be soon,” Liam said.
“Sorry we’re late,” Logan said.
“Don’t be. I’m just glad you’re okay,” I said.
They held me for quite some time, and part of me wanted to ask what building had burned in the area. Was everyone okay? Did everyone get out? They were squeezing the life from me as tears rose to my eyes. Something had happened to them today, and I wanted to make it better.
My heart lurched for them both as they slowly set me down on my feet.
Liam leaned his forehead against mine while Logan fluttered his hands down my arms. They were drinking me in, sniffing me deeply, memorizing how I felt. How I smelled. How I sounded.
How I wished we were alone so I could comfort them.
“Come take a seat. Everyone else is here,” I whispered.
I walked them over to where everyone else was seated, and the men all stood to hug them. Some patted them on the back, others hugged them for longer than I’d ever seen men hug. It was the first time I’d seen all of them interact this way, and something sparked in my gut.
Hope.
I had hope that this would work out.
“Aren’t you gonna sit?” Kyle asked.
“Nope. I’m too nervous,” I said.
“Please, I’ll stand,” Kevin said.
“Not necessary, I promise. But thank you,” I said.
“Talk to us,” Cole said.
“You can come to us with anything,” Cameron said soothingly.
“So, Christmas is a week away,” I said.
“My favorite time of year,” Tony said, grinning.
“And I’ve already been given a fabulous gift,” I said as I smiled at the Wolf brothers.
“What is it?” Logan asked.
“Tony and Terry have purchased a mansion just outside the city limits. They’re fixing it up, and they’ve offered to let me move in,” I said, smiling.
“That’s wonderful, Lexi,” Cole said.
“And very nice of them,” Cameron said.
“It keeps me from having to find a place of my own. I’ll be here, per their request, for a couple more days. That’s when Terry says the renovations will be complete, and that’s when I’ll get to move the very few things I own over there.”
“Don’t worry, darling. We’ll change that soon enough,” Tony said, grinning.
“At any rate, there was something else brought up in the discussion that I wanted to talk with you guys about,” I said.
I saw the guys brace themselves. In a way, they all knew what was coming, every single one of them. All of their eyes hooked on me as I drew a deep breath through my nose. I knew once I started talking, I wouldn’t be able to stop.
“I want you guys to move in with me,” I said.
Shocked rolled over their faces as they looked around at one another. Well, except for the Wolf brothers. They simply smiled at me and nodded their heads, like they were somehow proud of what I was doing—standing up for what I wanted and trying to make it happen.
Their smiles, coupled with their piercing brown eyes, sent shivers down my spine.
“It’s why I kept putting all of you off when you kept asking me to choose,” I said.
“Wait, you guys did what?” Tony asked.
“Down boy,” I said, grinning. “I took care of it. At any rate, I want all of you, need all of you, crave all of you. I’ve never considered myself a complicated person, and I have always been independent, but each and every one of you fulfill a part deep inside me that no man has ever touched before. Being with you guys, it’s like a dream come true. And when I’m with you guys, there’s always something that happens that reminds me of another.”
“What do you mean?” Kevin asked.
“Remember the date we went on?” I asked. “You took me to that French restaurant and I sat in between the two of you?”
“I remember fondly,” Kyle said, smiling.
“There was a moment when your hands were roaming all over me and I realized that was what I needed. I needed a man whose hands couldn’t stay off me. But, it reminded me of the date I had with the Castle brothers, how gentle their caresses had been in public, like they were only for us to know about. I didn’t wish I wanted to be with them instead of you guys…not by a long shot. But, it sparked a memory, a memory that only deepened the love I have for you two.”
I realized what I’d just said as the eyes of the Jameson brothers widened. I felt my face flush as I dipped my gaze to the floor, and suddenly I wanted to melt into it.
“You love us?” Kyle asked.
“I do. Each and every one of you, for different reasons that all make up the beauty of who you guys are. But I can’t be with one of you without being reminded of another. That’s why I can’t choose just one,” I said.
I looked up into the eyes of Kevin, and it seemed to finally click with him. He started nodding his head before he looked over at his brother, who was still stunned by my emotional admission.
“I can’t dance in Terry’s arms without thinking about how Cole cradled my head in that broom closet,” I said.
“Sounds like a good time, love,” Terry said, smirking.
“And I can’t fall asleep beside Cameron while he threads his baseball-chiseled body around me without thinking about how long and comforting Kyle and Kevin’s arms and legs are,” I said.
“All the more to cuddle you with, my dear,” Kevin said, smiling.
“All of you are insane,” I said. “The point is, while you each fulfill a deep and desperate part of me that has been empty for so long, there are also things you each do that spark memories of another. I can’t just choose, because then my heart would ache. I’ve fallen in love with every single one of you, and I can’t help that. I can’t help the fact that I want all of you, together, for as long as I can have you. I can’t choose, and I won’t. Ever. You are all precious to me, and my heart soars for each and every one of you exactly the same way it does for the other,” I said.
“Do you think about other men when we’re sleeping together?” Logan asked curiously.
“Nope. Not one bit,” I said.
“I could change that if you’d like, darling,” Tony said, grinning.
“No,” I said. “If I can’t have all of you, I’m not taking any of you. It’s that simple. Being with one of you with the memories it conjures would only bring me more heartache, and I think I’ve experienced enough of that for one lifetime.”
“Amen to that,” Liam said as he wiped at some soot on his chin.
“But you’ll be with the Wolf brothers no matter what, right?” Logan asked.
“Huh?”
“You’re moving in with them. Surely you’ll keep seeing them even if we can’t all agree on this,” Logan said.
“We won’t see her,” Tony said, “because we know how to respect her wishes once she lays them down.”
Tony and Terry turned to glare at the Castle brothers. I had known tension would rise in this meeting, but I hadn’t thought it would be over something like this. I figured they would all be upset with me for spreading myself too thin or whatever.
I hadn’t thought the tension would arise because my wishes hadn’t been respected.
“How do you guys feel about all this?” I asked.
“We care for you greatly, Lexi,” Cole said.
“And we can’t imagine not having you in our lives,” Cameron said.
“You already know how we feel about it, darling,” Tony said.
“And we’re elated to hear that you’re going to move in, love,” Terry said.
“You are the beauty we’ve latched onto, especially when our job has days like this,” Logan said.
“What he said,” Liam said, sighing.
“We’re talking about that later, by the way,” I said, pointing at the Castle brothers.
“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about our night together,” Kevin said.
“I love you,” Kyle said breathlessly.
My head whipped over to him and our eyes connected. His azure gaze raked over me as he slowly rose to his feet. He walked closer to me, his arm wrapping around my back slowly, and he pulled my body into his as my hand raised to cup his cheek.
“I love you, Lexi,” Kyle said again.
Slowly and easily, he brought his lips down to mine. His glasses slid down his nose as his other hand wrapped around to brace the back of my neck. There was no tongue, no force, no desperate passion. There was just a man who was finally willing to admit how he felt and wanted nothing more than to feel the woman he loved in his arms.
And I felt beautiful in that very moment.
Kyle pulled back and smiled as my eyes fluttered open. His blue eyes were sparkling with joy as his thumb slowly ran across the apple of my cheek. I smiled at him, my neck flushing with desire as he slowly unwound his arms from my body. I watched him sit back down on the couch next to his brother.
“I want to live with all of you,” I said as I ripped my gaze from Kyle. “That’s what I want for Christmas.”
“Okay,” Kyle said.
“Just hold on a second,” Kevin said.
“What?” Kyle asked incredulously.
“It’s all right, Kyle. I’ll step away so you guys can think. Just know, there’s no talking about this after this meeting is done. Whether we’re here for an hour or five hours, when we all get up to leave, that’s that,” I said.
Before they could get in another word, I walked my weakened legs back into my room. I shut the door and sighed, closing my eyes as my head came to a jolted stop. I’d said everything I needed to say, and I’d found some sort of peace within. I heard my phone buzzing on the counter, no doubt Courtney calling me, so I flopped myself onto the bed and picked up the phone.
“Hey there, Court.”