Chapter 12

Brooke

Could today get any worse? It was only 10 a.m. and I was already ready for the day to be over. Mark and Jake were barely speaking, and pretty much every time I so much as looked or spoke to one of them, the other one sulked.

Finally, I had to excuse myself in the bathroom. As I passed through the busy waiting room and Deidre’s front desk, it seemed like she glared at me too. Was I imagining things?

In the flickering florescent light of the bathroom, I glared at my reflection. Just what the fuck had I gotten myself in to? I land my dream job with my dream bosses and the first thing I have to do —within a week, no less—was to fuck one of them? If I kept this up, I wouldn’t have a job at all. Already it seemed like the cheery atmosphere that had been there when I arrived had been destroyed.

In the mirror, I pursed my lips and checked my phone.

“Still want me over tonight?” Karly had asked me at 9:03 am.

I slipped my phone back into my pocket. If I was being honest with her right now, I’d text her back a definitive “no.” I didn’t want to hear any more teasing about the “hot docs,” and God knows I didn’t need any more reminders of how badly I’d fucked up, then the ones I’d been getting all day, with no end in sight.

As I glared at my reflection, my mom’s words came to mind. “No matter how much you fucked things up, Brooke, just remember, you can always un-fuck them up too.” It had been one of her signature phrases. She’d first said it when I was twelve, after my dad had ditched us for the final time. Not one to mince words, my mom. And, just like that, after seven years of back-and-forth chaos with my alcoholic Dad, she’d finally had enough. She put her foot down and we’d never seen him again. It was the best thing she’d ever done for me.

I nodded at myself. Yeah, I could un-fuck things up now. I could go out there and invite them both out for lunch. They could get to chatting like before and everything would be fine. I could do this.

“You okay?” Jake asked, when I returned from the bathroom.

He and Mark were in between surgeries, each sitting in the office without looking at or talking to the other.

“Yup,” I said, putting on a cheery smile as I sat down on a chair between them, “I was just thinking it would be nice to go to lunch today.”

“I’d love that,” Jake said.

“So would I,” Mark snapped.

“Great,” I said, “We can all go.”

That shut them both up with scowls. The rest of the morning was much the same. Through the revision rhinoplasty surgery, Jake and Mark said the bare minimum to each other, glaring whenever the other would so much as smile or glance at me. By the lunchtime, I was more than ready for a break from the tension filled environment.

“Okay, let’s go!” I trilled, throwing off my nurse coat with a flourish.

As Mark and Jake both stared at me, my heart sunk as I remembered I’d worn only a thin sweater underneath—and hadn’t bothered with a bra. I’d figured that it would be hidden under my doctor’s coat anyway.

If their awkward stares were any indication, my nipples were clearly evident under the rose cashmere.

I crossed my arms across my chest.

“You guys ready?”

Mark smiled, throwing his coat off the same way I had.

“I sure am.”

Jake, however, didn’t move. I stopped at the door.

“Jake, you coming?”

He didn’t move from his chair.

“No, think I’ll stay in for lunch today. You two have fun though.”

I paused, wavering.

“You sure?”

His gaze on me became unsure, then tormented. He looked away.

“Yeah, yeah, we have our dinner tomorrow night. You two have fun, Brooke.”

“Okay,” I said sadly, turning away. So much for my plan.

As Mark and I made our way out of the clinic, Mark asked “You’re having dinner with Jake?”

I sighed. Today was going to be a long day.

As it turned out, long was an understatement. When I came back with Mark after our “fun lunch,” where he’d insisted on sitting beside me in the booth and groping my ass when no one was looking, Jake was even more distant than before, with me this time, too. Mark, on the other hand, upped the ante on flirting with me. He teased me, poked me, brushed by me, and even spanked me once.

The minute the workday was over, I made a beeline out of there, without saying goodbye to either of them.

Back at home, I flopped on the couch and took out my phone.

There was a message from Mark.

“Hey there, sexy ;)”

There was another one from Karly too.

“Yo ho, we still on for tonight?”

I glanced at the TV I hadn’t been watching for about an hour, then back to my phone. The answer was obvious.

“Hell yeah, get on over here.”

Half an hour later, my door was erupting with knocks.

As soon as I answered it, Karly threw her arms around me.

“You totally do!!”

“I totally do, what?” I asked her as she sashayed in, wearing a pink velour tracksuit.

“You totally still have that sex glow,” she declared, looking me up and down.

I sighed.

“Kar,” I said, “I really, really, don’t want to talk about it right now.”

Karly’s face fell.

“Aww, what happened babe? Actually, you know what, I’ll just shut-up and we can watch some Mean Girls and veg out.”

I smiled gratefully as she threw her arms around me.

“Don’t you worry about a damn thing, Brooke. I’m here for ya.”

An hour later, Karly was as good as her word. As we watched our favorite girl’s night flick, we chatted casually about the how young Lindsay Lohan had been, the newest latté at Starbucks, and the latest guy Karly was dating—a surprisingly fun banker.

All too soon, however, the movie’s credits were rolling, and Karly was glancing at me pointedly.

“So, do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” I admitted with another sigh, “But I probably should.”

An eager look came over Karly’s face, as she swept her blonde side bangs out of her blue eyes and sat up straighter on the couch.

“I’m all ears.”

So, I told her. I told her about having sex with Mark and how mind-blowingly good it had been. She was “so not surprised.” I told her about my intense talk with Jake, and about how tense it was at work now. And, once it was done, Karly took a minute to think. Then, she turned to me and said what I’d secretly been hoping she’d say.

“Sounds like there’s no way around it—you’ll have to sleep with Jake, too.”

“Are you sure, though?” I asked, “What if it just makes things worse—makes him resent me?”

Karly twirled a blonde lock in her hand.

“Brooke, hon, I’m sorry to be the one to say this. But at this point, it sounds like things can’t get much worse. I mean, you said the hot docs are already at each other’s throats. What do you really have to lose?”

“Nothing much,” I said, “only my job.”

Karly lightly whacked me.

“Oh shut up. You won’t lose your job. Those men sound like they’re crazy about you.”

“Seriously though, Karly. I feel like I’m really messing up here. I can’t keep on working if the atmosphere stays as tense as it was today—even if they do want me to stay.”

Karly nodded seriously.

“Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to tell you. It seems like either way, things don’t look good. So, you might as well see where things lead with Jake.”

I smiled gratefully at Karly. She was my best friend, but her uncanny ability to voice my thoughts still surprised me.

“Should I text him now?” I asked her, “We were supposed to meet up for dinner sometime, but I don’t know if it’s still on.”

“Yes, let’s!” Karly agreed.

I sent Jake a message.

“Still up for dinner tomorrow?”

Karly and I waited with bated breath for a minute, before we burrowed the phone in the couch and got some more Lays. Once we were back with a full bowl, I caved and checked the phone anyway.

“Definitely, we’ll talk tomorrow.”

It wasn’t much of a response from Jake, but it was enough to send me skipping around the room with glee.

“You like him. You li-i-ike him,” Karly chanted.

As I skipped, I tried to imagine how tomorrow night would go. Jake in a nice dapper shirt, me in my green bandage dress, steak and drinks, and then… Mark popped into my head, and immediately I flopped back onto the couch.

“What’s the matter?” Karly asked.

“I think I might like Mark, too,” I said.

She sat beside me.

“Don’t say that. I mean, you’re in a weird place because you had sex with the guy, and it had been a long time. How about you wait and see how you feel when you’re with Jake?”

“Yeah, I think I’ll do that.”

Later that night, Karly told me more about the fun banker, how good he was at oral, how much fun they’d had going to the fall fair. She’d laughed about how—after only a month—he’d been hinting at them being exclusive. But I knew Karly too well for that. I could see the way her rosy face was lit up that she had a crazy-big crush on him. That was just her way of doing things, playing it off like he was some guy, until he’d done enough that she could trust him.

Seeing her like that, so excited and happy, made my heart ache. I wished I felt like that—with things so simple as having a crush on some guy and hoping he had it back. Compared to her, my issue seemed ridiculous, and insurmountable. Having a crush on two guys wasn’t unheard of. The solution was pretty obvious—choose one. But this felt different than just some stupid passing crush. I actually got physically excited whenever I was near to Mark and Jake. My night with Mark had proved that we were as incredibly suited sexually as we were mentally. And Jake? If my gut was right, I was pretty sure I’d find the same thing with him.

That night, Karly slept over, and by 1 a.m., we were both all talked-out and pretty pooped. So, we changed into our PJs—though Karly made fun of my happy frog ones. After that we turned out the lights, and went to bed. Seconds after her head hit the pillow beside me, Karly was out like a light. I, however, tossed and turned with a realization that I couldn’t quite shake. There was no way around it, and no choosing either. I liked Jake—and I liked Mark, too.