Chapter 10
Riley cracked one eye open. The boat rocked slowly, drifting at anchor; she’d managed to fall asleep on the deep cushions of the long seat. There was an awning above her head, which she assumed Gray had positioned there to protect her from the sun. How sweet of him, she thought as she slowly sat up and stretched. Her skin was warm but not hot, and the sun was sinking into the sea, a large ball of orange and gold, sending long fingers of light across the waves. The faint sound of music was coming from somewhere, the muted clatter, bang, and roar of a party on some other boat.
From the look and feel of things, she had been asleep for a long time. She really couldn’t help it: she’d been stressed the entire vacation and this was the first time she’d actually relaxed, and of course making love to Gray. She smiled. Her body still ached from his wild, rough sex, but despite that, she still wanted him.
She looked right and left. The boat rocked softly again, tossed up on a slow swell coming in off the deeper part of the ocean. She could see the resort, just a few miles in the distance, though it looked much closer than it was, thanks to an optical illusion caused by sea, tides, and sun. Lights were on in some of the rooms.
“Hello?” Riley called.
“There you are!” Gray launched himself up the steps from the cabin below. “I was just grabbing some wine. I thought you might want a glass.”
“I’m not sure I should ever drink again in my life,” she said, her chuckle rueful.
Gray laughed. “Yeah, well, I’ll be the first to admit you’re kind of a lightweight.”
She shook her blonde head. “No, not the first.”
His eyebrow lifted. “No?”
“No. Everyone knows I’m a bad drunk. I really never learned how to drink, so I usually avoid it.”
He set the wine aside. “Well, we don’t need this then.”
“You okay?” he asked.
She summoned a smile. “Yeah, just thinking.”
“About what?”
“Tomorrow’s my last day, and then I have to get back to the real world.”
Gray took her into his arms. He smelled like good soap, clean sweat, sun, and salt. It was such an intriguing, exciting aroma that she felt compelled to bury her face in his chest and let herself inhale it. He would be the best memory she could keep from the trip, making love and dancing too hard and laughing too much, as well as drinking too much and standing in the cool wind running off the ocean while he drove the boat toward the distant horizon. “You should stay a little longer.”
“I wish,” she said, and she meant it.
Gray asked, “So what now?”
She watched him draw the anchor. He had put on a clean t-shirt, and his back flexed and moved as he began the work of moving Maggie back to shore. “I guess I’ve got to start being an adult and go to work,” she said.
“Yeah, me too.”
She sighed. “Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just skip all that and sail around the world forever?”
He laughed. “No joke. That’s pretty much my idea of heaven right there. In fact, it’s exactly what I want.”
“I’d like that, too.” Sadly, though, she knew it would never happen. She couldn’t run away. That was all pretend. She couldn’t possibly deviate from the life her parents had already outlined for her; she had to fit herself in the margins of it. That saddened and angered her, but she knew both of those emotions were pointless. It just was what it was, and she was caught in the cogs.
Riley wasn’t used to such anger. It broke off inside her in ways she had never felt before. It tore at her, made her ache and want to fight back, but she wasn’t even sure who that fight would be against. My parents? Myself? The entire world? There was no way to fight the fact that her father was Richard Teeter. She was born into a family she did not ask to be born into, into a world of wealth that was staggering to the imagination. There was no way she could fight that. It had been her duty to be a Teeter since the day she was born. She had a legacy to uphold, even if she wanted nothing to do with it.
“You’re doing it again.”
A frown knitted across her brow. “What?”
“Vanishing. You’re here, only you’re not.”
“Oh. Sorry. I was just thinking.”
“You think too much sometimes.”
She glared at him. “My bad. Aren’t women allowed to think?”
“C’mon, Riley. You know I’m not like that. I just wish people wouldn’t overthink things. It’s not healthy. It’s like you’re always somewhere up there in your head, always considering everything before you do it. People never really live when they do that, you know. I do it, too.”
She was well aware, but she had been trained to do that, right from childhood, to consider the cost and consequence of every single action and word. “I know, but it’s just… It’s really hard for me to just dive in and do things.” She clamped her lips shut. She was sure he had no idea where she came from, who she really was, and she wanted to keep it that way. Whatever the thing between them was, it was the best thing she had had in her life in a long time, and she didn’t want to ruin it with her father’s reputation. “I guess people are different. You seem to be able to just go with the flow, whatever’s happening. You don’t seem to be all that worried about what happens next.”
Gray moved toward the awning. “I wish. I do worry, a lot more than I’d like to.”
They took the awning down together as she said, “Thanks for not letting me fry out here.”
“You’re welcome.” He gave her a smile.
They stowed the collapsed awning, and he moved to the boat controls and started the engine. The breeze picked up, skating across their skin as they headed for shore.
Riley watched him again, trying to take him all in before she was forced to tell him goodbye. Gray was kind and funny and so smoking hot. He was also a guy she could never take home to her picky parents. Her sigh wasn’t just internal; it drifted from her mouth but was quickly swallowed up by the roar of the engine and the splashing of the waves against the hull, so it didn’t reach his ears.
Boats sat along the water, some anchored and some just idling along. Parties raged on some, and others were quiet. Riley wondered what it would be like to live a carefree life like that, to just be able to pick up anchor and go whenever she wanted to, to live without fear of what would happen if someone saw her.
As she thought about that, an ache revved up in her chest. One more night. That’s all I’ve got before it’s over. The ache soon morphed into a deep panic. She wasn’t ready to be the person her parents expected her to be. She was only 22, yet they wanted her to behave as if she was 40, as if her life that had hardly begun had already been lived. Yes, they wanted her to marry and have kids, but her happiness and her dreams were not part of theirs. She realized she’d never been happy, not until she met Gray, and now she couldn’t stay with him. The boat motor sounded a low counterpoint to those thoughts, its purring an audible reminder that it was ending, that they were ending. When the boat bumped against the dock, Riley’s heart lurched. “So this is it then,” she quietly muttered to herself.
After the boat was tied off, they walked slowly back to the sand and boardwalk. Gray’s hand did not reach for hers, nor did hers reach for his. She remembered the look on his manager’s face that morning, and she didn’t want to get him in trouble.
Riley paused as they reached the quieter lower levels. It wasn’t that late, and she heard doors opening and shutting on the higher levels, where the guests’ rooms were. The sound of the elevator coming down the shaft startled her, and she whispered, “I, uh… You wanna come up for a while?” As soon as she asked the question, her heart began to beat faster. Heat hit her face and launched itself down her body. It wasn’t like her to be so bold. She never made the first move but here she was, doing it again.
Gray watched the elevator doors open, and a few guests piled out. As soon as they were out of sight and earshot, his hand drew her into a slim picket of shadows, and they stood silently until the guests, dressed for a night of clubbing, headed to the parking lot, trailing laughter and the scents of perfume and cologne behind them. “Riley, are you sure you want me up there?” he asked, his eyes holding hers.
Her breath sucked into her lungs, swelling her chest. “Would I have asked if I didn’t?”
Gray’s mouth compressed, and his whole demeanor changed. He went from cocky and sure to suddenly awkward. “Riley, I need to talk to you.”
Her heart slammed into her ribs. She had wondered if she should leave him be, if she should just let it rest before either of them got hurt, and now she wondered if he had the same thoughts. He had told her he worried about things, too, and she had to wonder if one of his worries was getting hurt by her. “It’s okay. I know it has to end. I just want…tonight.”
He said nothing and just stared at her.
Whoa. Did I say too much? Too little? She held her breath as she waited for him to speak.
Gray’s face loosened. “It’s just tonight, isn’t it? We have to go our own ways tomorrow. I don’t wanna hurt you, Riley.”
She blinked. I don’t get it. Does he want to come up or not? “Gray, you don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to. I just… I hate that I have to go tomorrow. This has been the best time of my entire life. No kidding! I-I don’t know what to say here.”
“Then don’t say anything,” he said, moving toward her, all rippling muscle and intent. “Let’s go.”
She let out a breath, full of relief. “Are you sure?”
“If you are. I don’t…” His feet shuffled, and his confidence vanished again. “Riley, if you’re sure you can just walk away from here and not come back, it’s a yes for me.”
She knew walking away would not be easy. For the rest of her life, she would always wonder what might have been. There was no sense in saying so, however, because it was clear that he didn’t want anything permanent. Maybe he can’t bear to hear that. Maybe he has to think it’s over for me, too, so he can move on and forget we were ever together. Maybe it’s best that he doesn’t know how hard I’ve fallen for him. It had all happened too fast, and the one thing that was clear was that neither of them knew how to handle it. “I can do that,” she said, but she didn’t know if she really could.
He took her hand, and the two of them slowly took the stairs, wanting to squeeze every second out of every moment, for as long as they could.