Chapter Four
Leah
Nick is the answer to my prayers. My whole pathetic life has been filled with people who have treated me like I’m not worth more than the dirt on their shoes. But this guy who barely knows me has made me realize how I should be treated. He imagines my body as perfect. He treats me so differently than most people in my life ever have, especially Ethan.
The last time I actually felt like someone genuinely cared about me was years ago, before my brother left. He had looked out for me when it came to our parents. He stood up for me and told me there was more to life than what we’d experienced, but the day he left a decade ago was the last time I ever saw or heard from him. I thought he had cared about me back then, but maybe I was wrong since he didn’t seem to care enough to check up on me.
Maybe I didn’t give him much of a chance either.
But Ethan. He came out of nowhere. We met in the parking lot at a high school football game after my botched date with another guy I’d met online. I didn't even go to school there, but the guy had said he wanted to meet me in person. Finally. I didn’t know much about sex, but I had promised him he could have sex with me. I thought going through with it would somehow add to my value as a woman. Make me more desirable.
Of course, I know now that was completely stupid. My life up until that point had been extremely repressed, which made me curious. I wondered about sex. I wondered about relationships and what it meant to be “normal.” I couldn’t talk to my parents about it, and my brother wasn’t around to ask, so I had to experience for myself. And it ended terribly.
I chickened out. I was all talk. Hours and hours of porn and cybersex with random strangers made me think I was ready. I so wasn't ready, but we made out. He wasn't as cute as his pictures, and he tried getting grabby, but I pushed his hands away. He got mad and called me a tease. I cried because I was young, stupid, and scared. I wanted him to like me, but nothing about the moment felt right. It wasn’t romantic like I thought it’d be, so the guy left and told me never to contact him again.
Ethan saw me in the parking lot. I was cold and alone, not ready to go back home yet. He walked up, towering over me. He was so strong and powerful looking. He smiled, and my heart fluttered. He asked why such a pretty girl like me was crying. I told him what happened, and he smiled again. I thought it was comforting. I didn’t realize until years later that wolfish smile meant he knew how easy it would be to manipulate me. How easy it would be to tempt me into a sexual relationship with him.
He was right. It only took a few dates and compliments before I blew him in his car. He talked me through it, then he came in my mouth without warning. I spit it out on him, and he laughed before bringing my face to his and kissing me like I meant something. It was the first time I felt like I meant something to someone. I felt I had a purpose. I knew what to do from now on to get those loving reactions from him, and I never stopped saying yes after that. I had to.
Nick makes me feel different. Like I’m a someone. Not just something for him to use when he pleases. I’m my own person, and someone he wants to know. I can’t wait for him to get here so he can call me beautiful again. I want him to stare at me in wonder with those beautiful slanted eyes again. I want to see him smile and blush from simply being in my presence. I want to feel something more.
We planned to meet at a coffee shop about five miles away from my apartment. Sarah and I had gotten coffee here once upon a time, but I hadn’t returned since. This wasn’t a normal hang-out spot for me, which made it an absolutely perfect place to hide from Ethan.
I couldn’t risk him seeing us... And he still hadn’t returned. I had no idea when he would. We’d be in big trouble if he caught me having coffee with another man. He’d beat Nick so hard he’d break his other three limbs. I had to avoid that outcome as much as possible.
The door flies open with the clanging of bells.
Nick pulls himself in by his crutches into the shop. His hair’s floppy against his forehead, as if he took a shower before heading out his door to meet with me. I’m sitting in the back of the shop, away from the windows and I wonder if his friend gave him a ride again. I took the bus, because if my car was outside and Ethan saw… I don’t want to think about it.
Nick's eyes fall on mine, and he smiles. He’s so handsome. Way better looking than I remember. The image of him in my mind when we had phone sex didn't do him justice at all.
I stand as he gets closer, then lean in to kiss his cheek. He grabs my hand and squeezes it, giving me this endearing smile, and it makes me blush even more.
We sit at the table. He props up his crutches against the wall again, then sighs before ruffling his hair. I watch in amazement at his muscular arms and clear skin. He notices me watching him, and he gives a coy smile. Why is he being so shy? He has to know how incredibly sexy and friendly he is. I’ll bet he’s a talented musician. He’s probably super smart too, since he got into UT. I don’t know much about it, but my coworkers have told me how hard it is to get in there.
"Did you already order coffee?" he asks, breaking the ice.
I shake my head then grab my purse. "I'll get it."
His reaches out to stop me, his hand warm on my forearm. "No way! Tell me what you want, and I'll get it."
"No. You tell me what you want."
He tilts his head, amusement filling his features. "I want to buy you coffee. I want to brag to my friends that I took you out on a date."
I’m freaking blushing again. "This isn't a date."
He shrugs. "My friends don't know that."
I try hiding my smile by biting my lip. I know what to say to make him like me. "Okay, well then tell your friends I'm one of those super cool progressive girls that pays on dates then sucks your cock right after."
He blinks. His lips curl into this crooked smile that has me swooning, then he looks away, blushing. I can make him blush with my potty mouth. It worked. "I wouldn't tell them that."
"Why not?"
He looks at me again. His eyes are more relaxed now, like I've turned him on. My smile broadens. "How are you real?"
I shrug. "Maybe I was just made for you." I bite my lip before pulling out my credit card. "So, what do you want? Seriously. I'm buying."
He crosses his arms over his chest and leans back. "Chai latte. Iced, cause I'm a softy."
"Sounds fancy. I'll be back." I shuffle from behind the table then go to stand in line.
His back is to me as I watch him. He taps his fingers against his thigh for a few moments before his shoulders relax. Pulling out his phone, he starts swiping across the screen. Is he texting someone else? Is he on Tinder? Is he Snapchatting?
I order two iced chai lattes. I don’t know what that is, but if he likes it, I want to try it. He smiles up at me as I put his drink in front of him then take the seat across. "How was your show?" I ask right away.
His eyes are shining. "Awesome. The crowd liked us, and my buddy Michael did a good job up front instead of me."
"Instead of you?"
"Yeah. It wouldn't look very cool if the guy with the broken leg was up front."
I nod, my face burning as I realize how stupid I must sound. "Oh. Right. Duh."
He tilts his head again, with a curious smile this time. He studies me before picking up his drink and sipping through the straw. I watch his lips over the plastic before he pulls back and licks them. I wonder what they taste like. I’m sure they’d be much better than my imagination. When I finally glance back up to his eyes, he’s watching me.
I smile before looking away to the bookshelf, where a cat is perched at the edge. I didn’t notice that two seconds ago.
"Leah?" I turn my attention back to him. His eyes are soft as they dance across my face. "Can this be a date, please?"
I snort. "So I'll give you that blowjob and you can brag to your friends?"
His eyebrows draw together. "No, because I like you. I don't want this to be friends having coffee. I want this to be a date where I kiss you when it's over."
Okay, my cheeks are probably so red right now someone will think I’m a tomato, not a girl sitting in front of a boy she’s developing powerful feelings for. A boy she barely knows. I didn’t expect him to say that. "Okay." His eyebrows shoot up, and he smiles so wide one would think it’s Christmas morning. "It's a date."
He leans against the table, and somehow, instinctively, I know to lean forward too. His hand reaches out and cups my cheek, and I watch as his beautiful eyes close. I close mine too, and then his warm, soft mouth covers mine. We tilt our heads as our lips collapse together the second time. Then they do it again and again. His kisses are juicy, and he tastes like chai tea. My heart beats so hard in my chest I think it might fall out onto the table.
Once he pulls away, I almost fall forward before opening my eyes. He grins like I’m being adorable, rubbing my cheek with his thumb. "I'm so glad you saved me, Leah."
My laugh is shaky. "Me too."