I’m unable to lift my spirits. I recognise my dejection, but am at a loss of what to do about it. Between the happenings with my mother a few months ago and Kedrick’s death, I wonder if King Jovan’s words were my breaking point.
My friends know something is wrong. I respond quietly to their inquiries about my mood and health, but I wish they’d stop asking. Rhone offers to take me on a sled ride, I decline.
I jump when Sanjay slams his fists down on the table. “Tell us what’s wrong,” he demands. The others look at me, body language expectant.
“Nothing Sanjay, I am f-” I start.
“Don’t tell us you are fucking fine again,” he says, red creeping up his neck in the tell-tale sign he is angry. “You’re not.”
Unable to summon enough energy to argue with him, I get up from the table and leave the hall. I just need a day to crawl into a hole and recover.
My new guards follow me. I wonder how severely the other guards were hurt.
I spend several days in my room, only going out for meals, and even then I don’t eat, I just watch for the hawk to reappear. Enough time has passed now for a second reply to have arrived. But there have been no more messages since the last, unless they are being received somewhere else. Not knowing what is happening between our worlds is worrying me to the point of it being overwhelming.
I sit on the long seat in my room where the King had sat not long ago himself. I stare at the arrow tail, hoping an answer will suddenly jump out at me. Every passing day makes me feel like the trail is growing colder, slipping out of my grasp. Apart from narrowing it down to the delegates and staying alive, I have not made any headway with finding Kedrick’s killer. What if the next message asks for my return to Osolis and the King grants it? I feel I’m failing Kedrick, disrespecting his memory, but I honestly don’t know how to go about tracking the assassin down. And how would I get away even if I did kill them? The weather was getting more and more violent as we moved further through the third sector. The howling wind was a constant background noise. Like Osolis, the fourth sector here was unliveable, though I wondered how it could possibly get any colder than it was now. I wouldn’t be able to take two steps in this weather without getting lost.
A pounding on the door startles me from my gloomy thoughts.
I tense, thinking it might be King Jovan, but the door does not crash open so I rise and look out through a crack. Fiona and Sanjay stand outside.
“You are alive.” Sanjay throws his hands in the air, his voice echoes down the hallway.
“As you see,” I respond with narrowed eyes.
Fiona elbows Sanjay and he mutters, “Ouch”, before he continues. “You are summoned to the meeting room,” he says.
I swallow. King Jovan has decided I cannot be trusted to keep my veil on. Is he going to kill me after all? I can think of no other reason he would want to see me. I nod, my eyes wide.
I return to the bed for my coat.
Sanjay and Fiona lead me to the meeting room. Sanjay slaps her bottom as she moves in front of him down the stairs. She giggles in response, throwing a grin over her shoulder.
This is nothing compared to what I have seen in the food hall. Sometimes people are all but making children on the table tops. But in these situations there are always other people around. It is very awkward being the only other person here while they do this.
We continue on in this uncomfortable way until Sanjay looks over his shoulder at me and bursts out laughing.
“My love, the Tatuma is not used to such affection. We must save it for tonight,” Fiona hushes him. I clear my throat and do not say anything.
Sanjay is still laughing at me as we reach the room.
“Stop it,” I snap over my shoulder as we enter the room. “I do not care that you touched your wife’s bottom.” I turn to look at the room.
“Surprise!” A room full of people yell at me. My hands fly up to protect my face as I jump back from the onslaught of noise.
Sanjay howls with laughter behind me.
I look around the room in utter shock.
All of the delegates are here with their wives and children. They’re all laughing at my fright like it’s a joke. My eyes move over the rest of the room. The stone table of the meeting ring is laden with food and bright material has been thrown over the chairs.
“Why did you do that to me? What is this?” I ask, stepping further into the room, my heart still galloping in my chest.
“It is a surprise birthday party,” Malir says.
I frown. “It is not my birthday today. It is not until the end of the first.”
“We know,” Adnan says with crossed arms. “You neglected to mention it on the stairway.” I’m baffled by the set of his shoulders.
I struggle to understand. “You are…annoyed I didn’t tell you?” I ask. I glance at the other delegate’s, finding they all echo Adnan’s disapproval, some of their wives are shaking their heads.
I pull back as I contemplate their reactions. What had Kedrick said about birthdays? I can only remember him commenting on them once, when he had noted he would be missing my birthday and how unreasonably sad he had been about it.
“Birthdays are big here,” Sole says, even his voice is slightly lowered in disapproval.
Hilarity bubbles up within me at his words. I have grown to like Sole a lot more now that Blaine is not around. He is more upright and confident. I bite the inside of my cheek to stop my laughter from escaping. I don’t want to offend them, but this situation is utterly bizarre. “I beg your forgiveness for this gross oversight. I hope because I was a prisoner and had nearly snapped my wrist off, you might see past this grievous error.”
The wives nod their heads and murmur their forgiveness, quite solemnly, while the delegates who have spent time on Osolis do not stir from their disapproval. They know I’m laughing at them. What Solati would not? The big, raw Bruma love a good birthday celebration? I would have found it easier to imagine Olandon working in the orphanage.
I look at the men, their faces are averted. Adnan gives me a small smile which does not reach his eyes. My shoulders shake a little with suppressed laughter. They will only get angrier if I laugh at them. I put a hand to my chest.
“I’m sorry. Truly,” I choke out in strangled voice. Though still suspicious, this seems to mollify them a little. I attempt to compose myself as Jacqueline, Roman’s wife, steps forward.
“Stop sulking you lot. She has apologised and I am sure she won’t do it again.” To me she says, “There is not much to do here in the cold. Birthdays are treasured, as well as other occasions.”
“A birthday would have broken up the monotony of the stairway nicely,” Roman mutters, then winces as Jacqueline hits him in the back of the head.
“So. You scare people on their birthdays?” I ask. This is a completely foreign notion to me, ridiculous even, but I reserve judgement for the moment. I can certainly see why they would want a break from the monotony of the weather.
“It is more considered a thrill,” she says. “I take it Solati do not celebrate birthdays?”
I shake my head. “Only the eighteenth birthday or on your revolution day family and friends will acknowledge the passing.” Jacqueline nods, but I think I have lost her. She looks like Ochave when I was explaining how Osolis rotated. Fiona has joined us and overheard the last part. Her eyes are wide in disbelief.
“Thank you for this.” I wave around the room and force down another giggle. “You did not need to go to this trouble. My birthday was long ago.”
“The other women and I have been busy all morning,” Fiona says as she steps into the middle of the stone ring table. She gestures to a group of women who stand in the room and they all busy themselves.
I move around the room as introductions are made, not knowing what to do to help the other women. Tomi’s small son particularly likes me and follows me around the room, sitting on my lap when I stop to rest.
“Time for presents, Tatuma,” Sanjay says, his voice high pitched in excitement. I laugh and think of how fond I have grown of these people. I haven’t thought of them as my kidnappers since we first stepped foot on Glacium. Somehow, despite me never being able to make friends before, they have become just that. It seems silly that they are still addressing me so formally.
“You must stop calling me Tatuma,” I blurt out, wincing a little as the delegates hush and turn to me. The wives and children look at them with confusion, not understanding the importance of this.
“You may call me Olina now.” I nod to them and one by one they bow to me as is Solati custom.
“We are honoured, Olina. Thank you.” Malir quickly explains the importance to the others.
Sole and Tomi come forward with a pile of bright parcels.
“What are these?” I ask.
“Presents!” Cameron, Tomi’s boy squeals from my side.
“Gifts,” Rhone grunts.
I gasp. “Presents. Kedrick talked of these. They are all for me?” I ask looking around the room. Smiles and laughter are the response.
“You take off the paper,” Adnan prompts. Sanjay sniggers.
I roll my eyes. “Yes, I know that.”
I pull the bright material off the first parcel, inside is a new set of clothing. It is woman’s clothing made in a child’s size. The neckline is low, I worry a bit about how much of my chest will show, but I admire the quality and feel of them. They are soft and lined with fur, I know they will be warm.
“They are beautiful, who made these?” I ask.
Fiona blushes. “I did. It’s why your party is later than we would have liked, I had to finish making these.”
“It astonishes me that you can do this with your hands.” I marvel.
“She can do a lot more than that with her hands!” Sanjay says. The others in the room laugh as Fiona cuffs him around the ears. I’m a bit wiser now and my cheeks heat, having an idea what he means.
I go through gift after gift. The delegates have been thoughtful and given me presents I need to help with the cold. Boots, a coat, a furry thing which apparently goes on my head to keep it warm. Sleeping clothes, which I clutch in relief. No more naked midnight visits, thank Solis. They give me a game called cards, and Malir’s wife, Sadra, offers to show me some games. I had always loved the games back at the palace. Olandon and I had played them often. It would be nice to take back some new games to show my brothers. I offer to show Sadra some of the games we play on Osolis in return. Several of the women murmur their interest at this.
After the presents are done, I am directed to the food. I move towards my usual pear.
“You can’t eat a pear again,” Sanjay scoffs. “No wonder you don’t grow. This is a birthday party, you’re meant to stuff your face.”
“I don’t know what the other food is,” I say honestly, though I’m sure I would still eat the pear anyway. We do not eat a lot of meat on Osolis and I have found the majority of the Bruma diet is made up of it.
Sanjay looks up at Roman, his mouth a grim line. “Roman?”
Roman takes over. Having wondered about his role on Osolis, I am soon told he is in charge of food resources on Glacium. Though he is not a minister. Maybe he works for the food minister. I tuck this confusing thought away for later.
He prepares a plate with a selection of food arranged in bite size. I try them one at a time, people laughing when I do not enjoy the food and cheering when I do. My cheeks hurt from the laughing after a while.
“No more,” I say. “I swear I cannot eat another bite.”
“I’ve been impressed you’ve eaten half of what you have. I don’t know where it has all gone.” Roman laughs and takes a large sip from his goblet. I have noticed most of the adults here are drinking the same substance. Their cheeks have been growing steadily redder and their movements have grown more erratic, similar to King Jovan’s a few nights before. The voices in the room are loud and shouting now. I even saw Malir’s hand disappear up Sadra’s skirt before, and he has never shown any affection in the food hall before. There must be something in the goblets.
Fiona and Jacqueline sit next to me singing a bawdy song.
Adnan stands on a chair, wobbling slightly. I worry he will fall, but the others do not appear concerned, so I shrug it off.
“To the Tatuma!” He shouts. I laugh at the loud sound coming from Adnan, who I have always found quiet.
“She said to call her Olina now, fool,” someone shouts from the back.
Adnan pats the air several times. “That’s what I meant. I want to wish a happy belated birthday to Olina! Raise your drink.” I look around me as everyone holds their goblet in the air.
“I don’t have one,” I yell over the noise.
“Get the woman a drink!” Malir roars to the laughter of the others, even Rhone cracks a small smile. A large glass of the drink is shoved into my hand by Roman. Some splashes onto my boots.
“Where was I?” Adnan squints, swaying on the chair.
“Bloody hell, get it done before dinner, man,” Jacqueline shouts. I giggle at Adnan’s consternation. His brow clears as he remembers.
“A toast! To Olina. On her birthday!” There is a cheer at his words and everyone tips back their glass. Some only take a gulp, others like Sanjay and Roman, drink the whole cup. I bring the cup under my veil and swallow a large gulp. My eyes widen as the liquid burns its way down my throat. I manage to keep from spitting it out, barely. I cough and gasp for air. The Bruma find this hilarious. The room is filled with their laughter and the sound of a door crashing open.
Fiona takes the cup from me and rubs my back. I’m bent over, my hands on my knees.
“Veni. What is that stuff?” I sputter to the floor.
I push up from my bent position and turn towards the others, still coughing a little. The room has hushed. Fiona giggles nervously behind me.
I follow their attention and stiffen at the sight of the King and his advisors in the doorway. The grey-haired man, who I have since found out is Adnan’s father, looks very amused. Most are smiling while others, like the watery eyed blonde man, look at us as though we have rolled in mud and are dripping on a new rug.
The King looms at the front of his advisors with one eyebrow raised.
Malir clears his throat. “We did not think this room was being used today, my King. We did check with the clerks. We’ll leave immediately.”
“It is no bother,” the King says slowly, his eyes on my still spluttering form. “What is going on?” he asks.
“We are celebrating Olina’s birshday,” Adnan slurs. His father looks like he will explode with laughter, a strangled sound escapes him. I suppose Adnan does not usually drink from the goblets.
The King’s other eyebrow raises.
Whatever was in the drink is starting to warm my insides. I’m warmer than I have been in months. This must be why they drink it.
“Carry on,” the King says with an imperious gesture.
“There is only one more thing, we won’t be long,” Malir says with a nod at Rhone who stalks out of the room.
I wait curiously. Some people are murmuring in interest, but most seem to be in on it. They are nudging each other and sharing smiles. I sit down, then stand up. Fiona chuckles at me and I grin. I love birthday parties!
“Do you know you bounce on your toes when you’re excited?” Malir asks, laughing. “I haven’t seen you do that since Ked-” he cuts off his words as Sadra elbows him in the side.
There is no time for the room to become awkward at Malir’s words. Rhone re-enters carrying a large box in his arms. As he places it on the table in front of me, I forget about the King and his advisors. I climb onto the chair I have just vacated and glimpse down into the box.
My heart melts. Instantly.
“It’s a little dog,” I say in a whisper, not moving my eyes from the small, furry object in the box. It is unbearably cute. A few people laugh.
“A puppy,” Rhone corrects.
“He’s for me?” My voice quavers a little on the last word.
“It’s a girl, but yes, she’s yours,” he says.
I swallow the lump in my throat and stare at the beautiful animal.
“Thank you,” I whisper. “I love her.” I jump off the chair to hug Rhone and then give Malir a hug also. He pats me awkwardly.
“You’ve been so interested in Rhone’s dogs we thought you might like her,” Malir says, his voice gruff. “You can train her.”
I race back to climb the chair and look down into the box again. Her light blue eyes look up at me, her head is tilted to the side.
I pick her up and hug her closely. She wiggles in my arms and licks my hands and arms. I giggle at the slobbery feel of her small tongue.
“What should I call you?” I kiss her forehead. “I cannot believe you got me a little dog,” I say.
“It’s a puppy,” Rhone says again. His voice is lost amongst the others in the room, who are all shouting out names. The puppy starts barking.
“I am going to train you and you are going to be even better than Leo,” I say to the puppy as she tilts her head to the side.
“Of course she’ll be better than Leo, females are much smarter than males,” Jacqueline says, matter of fact. The other woman in the room shout their agreement.
“Olina’s a female and she’s talking to a dog,” Sanjay says in response, pointing a finger at me.
“It’s a puppy, Sanjay,” I say, not taking my eyes off the squirming animal.
“I told you their stupid,” Jacqueline says to me in a loud confiding whisper.
The room fills with laughter. I look around. Even the King has a smile on his cruel face.
I turn away, placing the puppy back in her box. She whines once out of my arms, like a baby wanting to be held. The sound tears at me a little and I hesitate, wanting to pick her back up again.
“It is easier to teach good habits, than undo bad ones,” Malir says.
I sigh and step back from the box.
I say thank you to the people around me, a lump swelling up in my throat several times. I wonder what’s in those goblets. It has some unusual side effects. I ask Rhone to bring the box with my puppy up to my room. I can’t wait to hold her again. How long do dogs live? How long do Rhone and Malir expect me to be here for? Do they know something I don’t?
I see the King heading my way as people begin filtering out of the room. I leave the middle of the stone ring, striding away from the King to move around the other side of the stone ring table where I then follow the ring back towards the door. Hopefully, he is now in the middle of the ring, far away from me. My height gives me the advantage of making me hard to spot. I duck out of the door with the remaining crowd. Glancing back over my shoulder, I glimpse the King watching, posture tense, as I leave the meeting room. I laugh under my breath.
I am liking birthday parties more and more.
“You’re so lucky you live in the castle,” Fiona says with a shy smile as we walk down the main hall.
“You don’t live here?” I ask, though I already know.
“No we all live just outside the walls. Though some of the delegates have rooms here.”
My interest perks up. “Which delegates?”
She looks down at me and I rush to make my interest more natural. “It is just, I have never seen any of them except Rhone coming down from the higher floors to breakfast.”
She nods. “Malir and Roman have them, but rarely use them. I think Tomi, Leroy and Merkus, too. Rhone stays here often because he has no other family in…our circles. And Blaine always stayed here, too, but you wouldn’t have seen him because he’s still in the sixth.”
“Is the sixth bad?” I ask.
“Never been there. It must be bad though, to be a punishment.”
“The King said Blaine’s family was to stay here. Are they still in the castle?” I ask.
“Oh yes. Blaine’s wife is named Macy. She sits in the front table. She has blonde hair the same as mine and jumps at every noise.” She looks at me in question. Fiona has blonde eyelashes, it had taken me a while to get used to them.
I nod, but cannot recollect who she means. I will have to look for her at the next meal.
“She’s Sole’s younger sister,” she adds.
“Really?” I say. Blaine is married to Sole’s sister. Is this what makes Sole so subservient?
I walk with the others to the door. Blaine had lived in the castle and he wasn’t here.
I was going to search his room.