It felt like I was constantly holding my breath over the next week. I awaited my mother’s next move. I knew she would try to regain control in some way. Her revenge was merely delayed. But as long as I protected Aquin, Olandon and Kedrick, she could not hurt me.
If you hadn’t been in the Torture room, nothing would have appeared any different. I’m careful with the food, only eating apples and checking them for any sign they have been tampered with. There have been instances where the members of the court have been poisoned with Tellio venom.
I don’t worry about her poisoning Kedrick. If he died here, it would mean war.
Aquin and Olandon both knew to be on their guard, I’d told them about Cassius and my ultimatum with mother. Olandon had been joyous at the news. Aquin’s reaction had been more like my own - wary and expectant. What had happened between my brother and I was forgotten. He was too excited at my stand to be angry with me. He had commented it was time things changed. When I had prompted him to explain the comment he had closed the conversation and told me we would talk of it once the delegates were gone. Maybe he did not trust me to keep it from Kedrick.
I was more cautious than ever when going to my training sessions. Guilt at having potentially put Aquin in danger, hung heavy in my stomach. But when I had suggested we stop the trainings, he’d told me to shut up and get on with it. He later explained he was too old to care, he’d always known it was a risk.
I’d just begun training for the day. I look up after a series of kicks to see Kedrick leaning against the door frame. I fumble my footing at the sight of him, but catch myself in time. What is he doing here? Aquin does not let him talk. He puts us through a gruelling series of exercises and my arms and stomach are burning by the end of it. My veil is soaked. I hate this time of revolution.
Afterwards, Kedrick and I lay out under a Kaur tree on the dry and cracked ground. His training tunic is off and I’m distracted beyond reason at the sight of his chest. Is this the kind of fascination he has with my body? I had given Kedrick a highly edited version of what happened with my mother. I didn’t want to pit him against her more than I already had. It would affect the relations between our worlds.
“I can feel you watching me,” he murmurs. He lifts his arm up and looks at me. Horror at being caught floods through me. I whip my head towards the Kaur forest. He chuckles.
“I was beginning to wonder if you found me attractive at all. It’s so hard to tell what you’re thinking,” he says as he reaches up to tug on my veil.
I pull away and do not answer, looking around for something to distract me, but the wildflowers are all gone, dried by the crushing heat. I always worry about Aquin out here in the middle of the forest with all the fires. Every year and a half when I expressed these concerns he would proceed to have Olandon and myself clear debris a hundred metres into the forest in a full circle around the grounds. This always made me feel better and I had no qualms bringing it up every time we neared the third, much to Olandon’s disgust.
“You do find me attractive don’t you?” He stands in front of me, flexing his ridged stomach, a grin on his face. A small smile plays on my mouth, but I keep my head turned. I can’t resist sneaking another look and have one second to see his posture tense before he launches at me. I’m pushed back, and he has my arms pinned above my head before I can think. I am about to kick my legs out to break the hold when a sensation combining pleasure and torture starts over my skin.
Kedrick tickles my stomach and legs. I scream, pleading him to stop.
“I want to hear you say you find me attractive. No! I want you to say I am sexy.”
“What is sexy?” I gasp, writhing side to side between laughter.
“It means you would like to have children with me.” I gasp, what an outrageous thing to say. His words cause warmth to spread down my body, as it has before. But this time it’s more intense. I cannot take the torture anymore.
“You’re sexy,” I wheeze. He stops tickling and brings his face close to mine, his legs are on top of mine and his body hovers over me, his weight is propped up on his elbows.
“Who is?” he says, his eyes piercing through my veil.
“You are! Kedrick, you are sexy,” I say, my heart beating in my chest. His weight is suddenly gone and I am being hauled up into standing. A furious Olandon grips my arm and stares daggers at the Prince.
“Why are you on top of her Bruma?” he spits out. He has asked a question to insult Kedrick. I don’t bother trying to tell him Kedrick prefers this way of talking. “Just because I brought you here does not mean you may take liberties,” he continues.
“You brought him here?” I ask in surprise. Olandon flicks a small glance at me and nods. Tears almost well up. He has thought on my words of the other day. He is trying to help me spend time with Kedrick.
“I was tickling her, not hurting her,” he explains.
“You were touching her,” Olandon snarls, stepping closer to him with his fists clenched.
Kedrick’s face goes blank for a moment, and then he grins in a challenging kind of way. I am not sure he understands how furious my brother is.
“It did not hurt, Landon,” I reassure, trying to step in front. Olandon pushes me roughly behind him.
Kedrick’s eyebrows slam together and his next words are clipped. “I don’t think he is objecting to the lack of hurting…Lina.”
“Veni,” I cry as Olandon lunges forward and tackles the prince. They roll and punch at each other. They would be evenly matched, but Olandon’s fury gives him an edge. I move forward to intervene, but my hand is grabbed.
“Come with me. Best leave the boys to it,” Aquin says. He walks me to a seat in the shade around the corner. I crane my head to look back.
“Why are they fighting?” I fidget with my veil. I wish they would stop. They look like they are going to kill each other.
Aquin turns amused eyes to me. “Your brother does not approve of the prince’s attentions to you. Men do not touch a woman’s body for no reason, though…I would not consider the Prince a man just yet.” He looks out at the fighting pair. I frown at Aquin’s judgement of Kedrick.
“You mean having children with him.” My eyes widen, I wince at what I’ve just said.
He chuckles, “Yes, that is a part of it. But there is much more also.”
“What do you mean?” I ask a bit bewildered. I have not heard of this before.
Aquin smiles a little and does not answer, though I have asked directly. Stubborn old man.
We sit comfortably in each other’s company, as I listen to the yells and thuds from around the veil. Should I go break it up?
“Lina…” Aquin starts. I sit up straight at his serious tone and peer at him. I’m close enough to see his face.
“You’re not ill,” I say, placing a hand on his shoulder.
He sighs and the sound is bone-weary, like he is holding the weight of two worlds in his hands.
“You must promise me…that you will be careful,” he says. “Extremely careful.”
“Of course,” I say with a shrug. He knows I always am.
“No,” he says. “You do not understand. There are people-” he starts and snaps his mouth shut. “There are things happening which you are not aware of.”
My eyes are wide. Aquin has never warned me like this before, he is truly afraid for my life. “Tell me,” I whisper.
Aquin holds his head up. I follow his gaze. The yells and thuds have stopped. The laughter of my brother and Kedrick approaches us. The old man looks back at me and pulls me into a strong embrace.
“Be safe, my girl. Forgive me.”
“How will I protect myself if you do not tell me?” I ask. He pulls away and looks at me with tear-filled eyes before standing and moving slowly away. Kedrick and Olandon stand beside me, but I cannot tear my eyes from the old man now leaning on his cane as though he has aged another revolution during our conversation.
I stamp back through the forest with my brother and Kedrick, refusing to talk to either of them. The Prince and my brother decide this is very amusing. Now that they have beaten each other up, they appear to be best friends. I don’t know how they will explain their cuts and red grazes at dinner. The walk is easy now that the vines have dried and dropped from the trees. It’s good because I’m reeling from the conversation with Aquin. He had asked me to forgive him. Was he apologising because he was unable to stop it? And what else was going on in the palace? Aquin and I had already discussed how my mother might retaliate. Was Cassius planning something? Maybe I had enemies I was not aware of. I stumble over an exposed root. Olandon catches my arm and squeezes my hand before resuming a joking discussion with Kedrick. Aquin had nearly been crying. And he had hugged me. That had never happened before.
I go down to the underground springs, my habit after every training to remove the stale sweat. The springs are an enormous lake underneath the surface, spreading throughout the rotations. The water is always warm due to the boiling water underneath the fourth. The heat from the boiling water permeates outwards, all the way to the first. The water is only bearable for short amounts of time now. In another few weeks, once we enter the third, the water will be too hot to wash in.
Torches line the walls down into the darkness. It is the only place where open flame is permitted on Osolis. Arson holds the harshest penalties on our world. It means death for you and your entire family. It has not happened in my lifetime. I hope it never happens during my rule.
As I soak, I force Aquins alarming comments out of my mind. All I can do is be as careful as possible, as he advised. My stress begins to drain out of me. As it does, I remember Kedrick’s body. The way the sheen of sweat had reflected the firelight and made him glisten. A warm feeling pools deep in my stomach. I usually spend this time feeling my face, but today I feel my body instead. I run my hands over the smooth, olive skin of my legs. I’ve seen most of my body, but I wonder what Kedrick sees when he looks at me. Sometimes his eyes watch me with the heat I feel right now.
I remember to place the water pitcher in front of the door before I climb into bed to alert me to any unwelcome guests during the night. I start the two fans to beat away tendrils of smoke which might gather during the night.
Aquin’s comments come back to me. I cannot decipher their meaning at all. One thing is certain. His hug had been his way of saying goodbye.