The two women don’t want to miss dinner because they expect Sanjay and Roman will be back. I’m not sure I will ever be able to look Roman in the face again after Jacqueline’s stories.
Both are there upon our arrival at the hall, as well as Adnan, Rhone and Malir. I discuss my wrist with Malir. Much of the stiffness has gone now. The strength is much slower to come back, but I have seen some small progress.
Towards the end of the meal we all sit talking, having much to catch up on after our week of separation. I take the chance to corner Rhone about learning to drive the sleds.
“No,” he says.
“Why not?” I ask, with my hands on my hips at his flat refusal. “I have watched you working several times with your team. I know Leon and he responds to my instructions. And my wrist is fully healed,” I add as an afterthought. I try not to think about my other new injuries, he doesn’t need to know about those.
“She has you there, Rhone,” Sanjay says. His mouth snaps shut at Rhone’s look.
Rhone looks back at me. “It’s not that simple. It can be dangerous. You’re only just healed, you don’t want another broken wrist.”
I nod. “I would be safe in your wise hands.” I bite my cheek once I’ve said it.
He snorts, not falling for my flattery.
I do not push him any further tonight. This Kaur tree will take some work to knock down. Malir looks at me with a wink.
Roman moves to talk with me and though I answer his questions, I do so without fully facing him, mumbling one word replies. When he finally asks me what the problem is, Fiona understands the situation immediately and bursts out laughing, telling the whole table about Jacqueline’s reminiscing of prior bed partners that day.
My face is on fire as the table teases me.
“She can’t look at him without being reminded of Jacky’s description of what’s between his legs,” Sanjay yells out. Mortification floods through me at the many heads turning our way. Roman laughs with the rest of them and waggles his eyebrows at Jacqueline who shakes her breasts back at him. It is too much and I excuse myself to retire to my room.
“Look we’ve scared her off,” Sanjay calls to my back. I turn around and lift my middle finger into the positon Sanjay himself had taught me last month. I leave the room to their booming laughter and the sound of their fists hitting the table.
A smile tugs at my mouth as I rush up the stairs to see Kaura, who has been alone all day. My smile falters when she does not come to greet me. I look through the furs on my bed and under the table and chair anyway, but she is nowhere to be found. I rush out the door, startling my guards.
“Kaura is not in my room,” I say to the guards in a panic. I rush back down to the food hall, half running to the table of my friends, ignoring the stabbing in my side. The clanging of my guard sounds close behind me.
“Kaura is gone,” I whisper as their concerned faces turn to me. “I left her in my room this morning and she’s not there now.” The table hushes.
Adnan, who is standing at the end of the table next to me, puts an arm across my shoulders. “Its okay, Olina, we’ll find her. You’re sure she wasn’t in your room?” I nod, dread heavy in my stomach.
Malir stands up. “Rhone and Sole, check outside. Sanjay and Fiona, check the upper floor. Jacqueline and Roman, you’re on the lower floors. Sadra and I will check the guard’s quarters. He turns to my guards. “You four take Olina to check the kennels, smithy and kitchens.”
My group has no luck finding Kaura, I return to the hall nearly in tears. I glance up at Ashawn who is looking at me curiously and without any trace of guilt on his face. It was not him this time. I hope Arla did not take her to get back at me. I debate telling my guards to go and search her room, but decide to wait until the others return. I don’t even know if she has a room here, though if she and Jovan are together I would think it likely. Searching her room would be overstepping my position and would turn her into a real enemy.
Sanjay, Fiona, Jacqueline and Roman come back half an hour later with no Kaura. Several women have approached me during this time to ask what the problem is. It is nice of them to ask, but their sympathy is making my tears well up.
Malir and Sadra return empty handed. I stand up, trying to control the urge to pace.
“Rhone and Sole may have her yet, Olina. Don’t worry. We will find her,” Sadra says, rubbing my back. “If not, I will make Malir order all the guards out to find her.” I force a chuckle past the nervous jumping of my stomach.
I stand up when I spot Rhone and Sole. My heart sinks as they shake their heads at me. I sit down and cry under the barrier of my veil. It is not as silent as I would like and the delegates hover uncertainly, never seeing me like this before. Malir gestures to the guard and starts reeling off orders to him. It looks like Sadra was serious. Others approach from around the food hall to ask if they can be of any help. I take a shuddering breath in, remembering the thug threatening to slit her throat.
A bark sounds from the front of the hall and I nearly fall out of my seat trying to get to it.
I push through the people surrounding our table and see King Jovan standing in the archway with Kaura in his arms and a shame-faced Cameron by his side. I twist my head to look up at the throne table. He must have been gone this whole time and I had not noticed.
The King pushes Cameron forward when he sees me moving towards them. I slow down as the boy reaches me. He promptly burst into tears.
“Lina, I took your d-dog,” he sobs around tears. “I was hiding from Nanny and it must have been your room ‘cause I saw the puppy and thought I would just p-play with her and put her back ‘fore anyone knew.” He wipes his nose on his sleeve before continuing. “I didn’t know she was your dog, Lina. I didn’t mean to make you upset. I’m s-sorry.” He bursts into fresh tears. “I’ll never do it again!”
I pick Cameron up and carry him to a table where I wipe his face with a cloth. I hold him as I say, “Thank you for your apology, Cam, it is hard to admit when you do something wrong, you’re brave to do so.” I wipe fresh tears from his face. “You’re right. I was very worried when I thought Kaura was missing, but I’m relieved to know she was with a friend.” I tap him under the chin and lean down to whisper in his ear. “The King would not have been happy to find you out of the nursery. Nod your head if he was angry.”
Cameron makes a noise half way between a giggle and a sob and nods his head.
I smile, staying close to his ear. “I will sometimes need a Nanny for Kaura when I am away. Nod your head if you will help me.” He nearly hits me in the head with the vigorous nodding of his head.
“I’ll look after her whenever you want me to!” He yells. I thank him and place him on the ground as his father, Tomi, takes him away with an apologetic look directed at me.
I walk eagerly towards the King, who stands watching and holding the wriggling Kaura.
“Thank you, Jovan,” I whisper to him and fresh tears of relief trickle down my face, dripping underneath my veil to the floor. His eyes flick to the falling tears, but he does not mention them.
He just taps under my chin with a finger like I did to Cameron. Like I am a child. And then chuckles when I lightly punch him in the arm. I grab Kaura off him and hug her to my chest, relief making me light.
“You are too attached to that dog,” the King says as he walks with me back to my table of friends.
“I am not,” I say with some heat in my voice. He chuckles, I have reacted as he wanted me to. I roll my eyes, still too upset to engage in bickering with him.
“Did you enjoy your day out of the castle?” he asks. I remember I was at Fiona’s earlier. It seems so long ago after the stress of the evening.
I shrug my shoulders. “Most of it was nice,” I hedge.
The King laughs. “Ah, yes. I overheard a few of Sanjay’s comments.”
I turn my head up to the side and respond with silence, halting as we reach the table. The King looks down at me out of the side of his face, grinning. This time he struggles to control his expression.
I smile behind my veil. Like Rhone, he seems years younger when he smiles. I have not seen him this carefree in my entire time here.
The King returns to his seat after receiving congratulations for finding her. Everyone fusses over Kaura, who looks a bit confused at the attention. I have no doubt she spent a day being stuffed with food. I will have to talk to Cameron about this before he cares for her.
Back in my room with Kaura asleep on top of my chest, I think of how the attitudes of the assembly have changed towards me in the course of a few months. But then, I can feel how I am changing the more time I spend here; adopting their phrases, asking more questions, joking with people and letting too many people call me Olina. All of these changes might have made me feel as though I was losing myself, when in fact the opposite was true. I was beginning to feel the dangers of becoming too comfortable on Glacium.