Six Months Later…

My movie, Fashionably Flawed, was a blockbuster of epic proportions—largest opening sales of a movie in the history of film. I bought out all the tickets in the entire country and then had my Demons stand outside theatres and give them away… although I do believe some of the dishonest bastards were scalping tickets, which warmed my evil soul.

The reviews were stellar. I bribed every single reviewer who mattered and then some.

Of course, I’d been nominated for an Oscar for my performance as myself. I thought I was brilliant, but apparently staring straight into the camera the entire movie was a no-no. Whatever. I looked devastatingly handsome in every single frame. Again, bribery came in handy. Greasing the palms of the entire voting Academy was delightful. I even met a few lovely actors, directors and producers who were destined for my neck of the woods eventually.

My mother’s performance in the film was excruciatingly painful. However, no one had the balls to tell her. Her insistence on pole dancing during several of the bullfighting scenes was horrifying to say the least. Strangely, all of her scenes that had been cut from the film were magically back in the movie opening night. There wasn’t a damned thing I could do about this one. Getting electrocuted sucked and I simply decided to close my eyes during her screen time.

As brilliant as I was in my movie, I was never going to act again. It was boring and the food on set was inedible. I had a sneaking suspicion that my mother was helping out with the catering. Wearing makeup brought back fond yet horrifying memories of my cross-dressing days although I never had lipstick on my teeth due to the finger sucking method. I was the Harbinger of Evil and it was a rather large job. Creating chaos and punishing transgressions were far more interesting than pretending to be myself while wearing eye shadow.

Mel Brooks not only wrote the script, but directed the movie as well. The overly tanned and coiffed Maury and Sal steered clear of Mel as they were unsure if he was aware they’d reported his false demise or he might indeed be a Unicorn… Mel nickered and neighed constantly when the imbeciles were nearby—it was delightful to see them squeal like girls and run for their lives. It still pissed me off that my life story was constantly mistaken for a comedy, but Mel had won the card game I held to pick a director. He’d cheated like a motherfucker and this sat well with me. The man was a comedy genius, so in the end I let him do his thing.

Lizard had taken a part-time job with Maury and Sal in Hollywood. His negotiating skills were legendary and he was in high demand. Normally I preferred my Demons stayed in Hell, but now that he was getting tied to the heinous Martha and Jane I was perfectly fine with his absence. The less I saw of the two heinously dressed Vampyres the better. I’d already been tempted to incinerate them too many times to count. The only thing that kept me from burning the imbeciles to ash was Lizard’s adoration for the profane idiots.

As expected, Immortals turned out in droves for the movie premiere. It was gratifying to be worshiped by everyone. Astrid and Tiara almost walked the red carpet with Elle and me until we remembered at the last minute they wouldn’t show up in the photos. That faux pas would have required an enormous clusterfuck of mind wiping. Thankfully it was avoided.

Samuel did not revert back in age after the Tribunal. To say that his father Ethan was shocked was an understatement. To make amends, I had the entire contents of six hundred and sixty-six Office Depots delivered to the Cressida House. I figured this gesture would make up for what I’d stolen from the Vampyre Prince over the years and negate everything I would steal in the centuries to come. I received no thank you note for my generosity. Vampyres were such ungrateful shits. His lack of manners made me glad that I hadn’t returned the stapler that I’d pilfered on my last visit.

Sadie had stayed in Kismet to train the Sirens not to kill when they fed. A few of them were testing out their new skills in Hell. We’d had a few close calls but no deaths yet. My Demons were delighted with the visiting Sirens. It was a carnal clusterfuck—pun very much intended.

And speaking of puns… God had shown up seven Tuesdays in a row for poker. It cramped everyone’s style to have him present. Swearing while playing was at an all-time low. Not to mention getting fall down drunk was off the table. I was beginning to think my brother cheated as He won every damned round He played, but for the life of me I couldn’t figure out how He was doing it. I planned to have hidden cameras set up everywhere for next Tuesday. I was going to catch his pious ass in the act. It was one of my new life goals. However, his artichoke dip was outstanding. Clearly He hadn’t inherited the food poisoning gene from our mother.

The only real problem I had at the moment was The Kev. We’d met several times to determine if there was any trace of Demon lingering in his body. All the tests were inconclusive. The only one that hadn’t been tried was having him go back to his homeland of Zanthia. If there was indeed Demon in his DNA he might not be permitted to enter, which was a tremendously bad fucking issue. Gemma was set to take her rightful throne as the Fairy Queen and needed his protection and knowledge. Not to mention, as part Demon he would never be allowed to claim Gemma as his mate. This one was making me lose sleep—unusual for me, but I’d evolved as of late—getting laid on a regular basis by the one who was meant for you could do that to a man… even a very bad man. In the end, I’d come up with a few plans that would change the course of the Fairy world. The Kev, Gemma and The Shelia were set to return soon and I would set my plans in motion. I just hoped they would work. Only time would tell.

“Are you ready?” Elle inquired as she slipped an obscenely sexy lavender Prada gown over her head.

“No,” I replied, pressing the bridge of my nose and breathing deeply. “I will never be ready for this.”

“You promised,” she reminded me with a giggle that went straight to my balls and made my dick stand up at attention.

“I thought those were made to be broken.”

She shrugged and applied her lipstick with an expert hand. “Some are. Some aren’t,” she replied with a smirk. “Can’t see how you can lie your way out of this one.”

“I already tried,” I admitted with a grin. “You should do the finger suck thing.”

“I’m sorry, what?” she asked with a perplexed expression on her exquisite face.

“You know, suck your finger to make sure there’s no lipstick on your teeth. Works like a dream.”

“Do I want to know why you have this information?” she asked with a raised brow and a grin.

“No you don’t,” I replied dryly. “Just be grateful for my latent drag queen knowledge. Mel Brooks was very thankful for my familiarity with all things feminine. The man was simply awful with lipstick—looked like he had a red mustache or a bloody mouth constantly. I really think he needs to have his color wheel done. His choice of lip hue is ghastly,” I explained and then smacked myself in the head with the palm of my hand.

The side effects of having had Elle’s soul inside me were unfortunately still lingering. Thankfully wearing her clothes didn’t appeal. I was still firmly in possession of my man card and I wasn’t giving it up.

“Umm, okay,” she said and slowly sucked her finger while keeping her amethyst eyes locked on mine.

“That’s mean,” I whispered with a grin as I snapped my fingers and removed her clothing. “You shall have to pay for that.”

“Later,” she promised, waving her hand re-dressing herself. “We have all the time in the world, Devil.”

“That we do, Siren.”

My Siren was correct. We had an eternity together. I’d never known what I’d been missing until she lied, cheated and stolen her way into my life… or vice versa. I was fated for Fate—or Luck, as she went by when she was working.

The Winds of Change were an interesting phenomenon. They took my Luck where they pleased and I always followed. My job was easy to perform anywhere in the Universe as dastardly deeds didn’t have set locations. We were living like Immortal gypsies and loving every moment.

“We don’t want to be late since you’re running the show,” Elle said against my lips as her tongue darted into my mouth and made me see stars.

“If you don’t stop that, we won’t be going anywhere for at least a week,” I replied in a gruff voice as I grabbed her perfect ass and ground my body against hers.

“Maybe a quickie,” she suggested, as her breathing accelerated and her eyes sparkled.

“How about two quickies and we make them wait?” I said, removing my clothes with inhuman speed. “I always like to make a grand entrance. Being on time is pedestrian.”

“Lizard is so excited to marry Martha and Jane,” Elle said as she pushed me to our bed and straddled me. “Marriage is such a strange concept.”

I paused and looked at her. “Do you want that?” I asked, unsure if she was subtly hinting at something. Marriage was an absurd covenant for a Demon or a Siren, but I would do anything for Elle to make her happy—even marriage.

“Absolutely not,” she said with a giggle and an eye roll. “I was made for living in sin with Satan—much more fun to be naughty.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” I growled as I grabbed her and flipped us so she was beneath me. My heart raced and my body became heated. This woman was mine and there was nothing more right. “How about four quickies?” I suggested as I buried my face in her neck and nipped at her delicious skin.

“How about eight?” she bargained as she writhed like an animal in heat shorting out my brain cells.

“Deal.”

My Siren was insatiable. This was outstanding as I couldn’t get enough of her. My smile pulled at my lips and I entered her with a swift thrust of need. Her delighted scream of pleasure made me feel invincible. With her I was. With my Siren at my side, all was right with my chaotic world.

In the end, it was twelve quickies and two not so quickies. We were incredibly late to the human wedding of Lizard, Martha and Jane. However, since I was officiating the debacle they had to wait. Our entrance was exceptional. The ceremony and aftermath—not so much. It was every horrifying thing I thought it could be and unfortunately more as my mother had shown up with a dozen stripper poles for the reception. Visions of a barely clad Martha, Jane and Mother Nature falling off of poles repeatedly would be burned into my brain forever.

However, Lizard was happy and therefore I was as well. Going forward, I would never make such a heinous promise again. This one almost blinded me.

Fortunately, Lizard had gotten his happily ever after, and amazingly, so had I.

No one was more surprised than me.

And no one was more grateful—a fact that I would never admit. Except to my Siren.

Elle was my world. My raison d’être. My life. She would know my truths and I would know hers. Of course I would still lie, cheat and steal, but that was to be expected. I am the Devil after all.

There are happy endings even for the most evil…

Some might say it’s fate. Some might say providence. And others might say destiny.

I say it’s Luck and I’m sticking to that. I’ll take Luck over skill any day of the week.

I’m a lucky bastard and I plan to hold onto my Luck until the end of time.

Tomorrow will be another day like any other. Punishments must be doled out and chaos must be encouraged. A vacation would be lovely, but there’s no rest for the wicked. The Winds of Change pause for no one—not even the Harbinger of Evil.

But with my Luck at my side, I can take on anything.

It will always be show time, folks.