SHANE. There are times in our lives when we aren’t certain of what God’s will is for us. Although I pray almost daily, I never have a complete understanding of God’s will entirely. I often ask for the ability to understand, but maintain fear I fall short of just what it is he either expects or wants of me. I live in somewhat of a constant state of worry, wondering if I am making mistakes I will have to pay for later in my life. My self-imposed shortcomings, although I’ve always been uncertain God sees them as so, were all brought into an oddly clear perspective as the doctor stood; his arms holding something small and smeared with bloody matter. I now believe I am a good man; and good will come to me.

“Mr. and Mrs. Dekkar we have a little boy. You’re the proud parents of a little boy,” he smiled.

“Shane…” Kace sighed in an almost inaudible tone.

“Is he okay?” she asked.

I looked down as the doctor held my son in front of me.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

I swallowed and smiled, “He uhhm. He has all his toes.”

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

Eight, nine, and there is number ten.

“He’s got all his little fingers, baby. He’s fine.” I said.

And I immediately broke down and began to cry. As I wept, I began to pray.

Thank you Lord for providing Kace and me the greatest gift we could have ever hoped to receive from you. Please be with us and the baby through this first little bit while we’re adjusting to what is new to all of us. You keep him healthy, Lord, and I’ll keep him safe. I promise.

“Shane?” Kace whispered.

“I’m fine, babe. I’m just happy,” I sniffed.

To attempt to explain the emotion one goes through during the birth of a child would be absolutely impossible. I now know to see the results of a love as deep as Kace’s and I have can only be done in one way – through seeing our newborn child. For anyone who may question the love we have for each other, resolution may be found in the eyes of our son.

I reached for Kace’s hand.

Woman, I love you with all that I am.

“I love you,” I cried.

“Congratulations. You can hold him for a moment – we’re going to need to take him for testing – it’s procedure for premature babies,” the nurse said as she handed Kace the small blanket covered baby.

“Shane, he’s just,” she tilted her head toward me as she held the blanket against her chest.

“Perfect,” she sighed.

“He sure is, babe,” I grinned as I wiped tears from my eyes.

She stared down at the baby and her eyes glistened with a newfound fire. As she grinned and held him, she didn’t speak, nor did she need to. Her face told a story a million words could not. A mother’s love for her child was clearly defined on her face. After absorbing the magic of the child for a long while, she looked up and smiled.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

I nodded.

“Have you chosen a name?” the nurse asked.

We both smiled and nodded.

“Babe, I need to go tell Ripp and Vee everything’s okay. How long have I been in here, anyway?” I asked.

The nurse looked up at the clock on the wall.

“It’s been a little over an hour and a half,” she smiled.

“I need to take him back now,” the nurse said.

Kace reluctantly handed the nurse our son and began to cry.

“Babe?” I asked.

“Happy tears, Shane. Happy tears. I love you so very much,” she said.

“I love you, babe,” I responded.

“I’m going to go tell them, I’ll be right back,” I said as I kissed her.

She nodded and closed her eyes.

As I walked down the hall, I removed the hair net and the booties, but left on the rest of the attire the nurse had provided. In opening the doors to the corridor which led to the waiting room, I stopped looked down at my boots, and inhaled a deep breath. As I exhaled and looked up, I smiled.

Thank you.

Again.

Vee jumped to her feet, “Is everything…”

“Fuck, dude, I didn’t even see you walk up. Is she…” Ripp interrupted.

I opened my mouth and attempted to speak. Overcome with emotion and excitement, I blubbered as I tried to talk.

“Just a minute,” I whispered as I raised my hand to my face.

As I watched Ripp and Vee’s faces conform to a look of worry, I attempted to speak again.

“She’s fine. He’s fine. He’s premature, but we knew that. They said he’s going to be alright,” I nodded.

“Is he…” Ripp began.

“He’s perfect,” I responded.

“Oh my God, I’m so happy for both of you,” Vee said as she waddled over and hugged me.

“Name?” Vee asked.

Give me some strength Lord; I’m making a fool of myself when I try to talk.

Purposely, Kace and I had decided the names we would use for a boy and a girl, and told no one. We wanted to wait until the child was born, and make sure everything fit into place for the name. As soon as we saw the baby, it was apparent we both knew the name was fitting. There was no denying the baby was deserving of the name we had chosen.

“Well, we didn’t tell you for a reason. You know Kace’s name is pronounced Kasey. Everyone calls her Kace, because it’s spelled that way. They have since she was a kid. But proper pronunciation of her name is Kasey. So, we decided to name the boy Casey. C. A. S. E. Y.,” I smiled.

Ripp and Vee both turned to face each other and smiled.

Stay with me Lord.

“And. So,” I stopped speaking as I became emotional again.

“We uhhm. We wanted him to have his mother’s name. So we could hear it spoken in the house. We’d have a Kace and a Casey. So he’s going to share the name of the most beautiful woman in the world, who is also the most important woman in my world. We also needed him to have a masculine name for his middle name. And the name would have to be from the most important man in both of our lives. We each wrote our middle name choice on paper without the other knowing, and said we’d repeat it until we both agreed. It only took us one try,” I grinned.

“So what’s his middle name,” Vee asked excitedly.

I looked at Ripp and smiled, “Well, it isn’t Ripp.”

“Casey Michael Dekkar. We named him after you, Ripp. You and Kace – the two most important people in my life,” as I finished speaking, tears began to run down my cheek.

“Oh shit. I wasn’t ready for that, bro. Shit, this is too much,” Ripp said as he reached up and wiped his eyes.

There are children all over the earth who have an uncle. Some have many. But as sure as I stood before him, I knew no child on or of this earth would have an uncle who would love him more or protect him better than Michael Allen Ripton.

The best uncle my son could ever hope for.