Fear of the things that I can’t see
Rage at the loss of control
None of them come to save me
And the damage at last takes its toll.
--Ataxia
Rex
I pull up to Mac’s house and turn into the driveway. “Sick. Is that a Fatboy?”
She doesn’t answer, and she’s sitting up so straight her back is off the seat. Her eyes are huge and staring at the Harley illuminated by my headlights. I throw the truck in park when the reality of what’s probably going on hits me.
Doesn’t have a man, my ass.
Even if they’re broken up, she’s obviously more than a little unnerved that I’m bringing her home with that dude here.
I turn toward her still-frozen frame. “It’s cool, Mac. I’m not a threat. Let me unload your bike and I’ll be out of here.”
Her head jerks and she swings her gaze to mine. “What?”
I nod to the Fatboy. “Your man, right? I don’t want to cause you any problems.”
“Ew.” Her face twists as if I offered her dog shit. “No, he’s not my boyfriend. He’s kinda my roommate’s.”
The way she stiffened when she saw that bike, there’s no way her and Harley guy don’t have history. I tilt my head and study her, trying to decide whether or not to believe her. No, she’s lying. Unless . . .
Adrenaline races through my veins and I squeeze the steering wheel to keep from making fists. “This dude dangerous? To you and your roommate?”
“Oh, no. I mean he’s got horrible manners and he’s kind of a dick, but that’s it.”
I relax my grip and my shoulders drop. Shit. What am I doing? I’ve wasted enough time as it is. I need to drop this bike off along with the girl who rides it and get to sleep. “Sweet. I’ll get your bike.”
I hop down from the truck and go around the bed, releasing ratchet straps. The low grumble of the garage door gets my attention. I look up briefly only to get stuck staring.
Mac’s ditched the messenger bag that she was wearing like a shield earlier. Her small waist and round hips swing in an unconsciously feminine way as she heads toward me. “I’ll help you walk it down the ramp.”
With what looks like little effort, she hops up on the truck’s back tire and swings her leg into the bed, one after the other. I try not to notice how good her legs look in the skin tight black pants she’s wearing, or how hot it is that she’s sporting a bad-ass pair of black leather biker boots complete with straps and buckles.
She grabs her side of the handlebars and places her other hand on the seat.
I do the same on my side. “Go slow. We’re at an angle.”
Little by little we inch the bike down the ramp to the driveway. She lets it go and I walk it into the garage.
I lean the bike onto its kickstand and motion around the space. “You know what this place needs?”
Her eyebrows pinch together in the cutest way. “What?”
“A car.”
She laughs, but the sound is, I don’t know, strained somehow. “Thanks again for the ride.”
Ah, so she’s getting rid of me. Hint taken.
“Sure thing.” I nod and move back to my truck.
She stands by while I put away my straps and push the bike ramp back into the bed. Every few seconds I take a peek at her and see her gaze shifting from me to her front door. Yep, this guy is definitely her boyfriend, or at least an ex.
Rounding the back of my truck to the front, I give her a final wave. “See ya.”
“Rex, wait.” Fuck, that’s the second time I’ve heard her say my name and the sound pulls me in like a beacon.
She moves across the few yards that separate us. Stepping in close so that there are only inches between us, she tilts her head back to look up at me. The security light above her garage gives me a better look at her face. Her dark eyebrows drop low over eyes so light brown they’re like the color of sand. I breathe in deep and the scent I caught of her in the truck cab is intensified at this proximity: mild coconut and something sweet, like suntan oil and some exotic fruit. She smells like vacation.
Pushing a strand of hair off her cheek, she tucks it behind her ear. “Before you go . . .” Her teeth run along the full cherry-pink flesh of her lower lip, and the sudden urge to taste it flares raw and ugly in my gut. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.” She throws a quick look, almost unconsciously, over her shoulder toward her house. “Now’s not the time or place, but I’m afraid if I don’t commit to telling you then you’ll never talk to me again and then I’ll never get that chance back.”
I knew it. This is where she’ll drop the crazy bomb that explains why she’s acting so weird. She doesn’t owe me a damn thing. I offered to help her out; she took me up on the favor. That should be the end of it. But why do I feel the slight sting of rejection at her kicking me out? “Hit me with what you got to say or don’t. I was just helping you out of a tight spot.”
Her long eyelashes flutter a few times as she leans in close. “Can we get together for coffee sometime or maybe—?”
The loud crack of a slammed door spins us both toward the garage. Stepping out from the dark is a guy I recognize immediately.
Motherfucker. What the hell are the chances?
“Oh shit.” Mac takes a few small steps, positioning her back to my front and putting herself between me and the dick from last night.
“What do we have here?” He saunters toward us, his shirt off to freely display his biker affiliations. “Snow White, I didn’t know you were cozy with this butt-lovin’ friend of Dorothy.”
A fire ignites in my gut. I step toward him, but Mac leans back against my hips and stomach.
My lips curl over my teeth. “I’m actually happy to see you again, Tubby. Feels like we didn’t get to finish what we started last night.” I take another step forward. The smell of a Caribbean cocktail wafts just below my nose. I don’t take my eyes off the asshole, inching closer, as Mac digs in her heels to halt my advance.
“Yeah, I bet you want to finish me off.” Hatchet glares. “But I got news for you, pretty boy. I don’t do dudes.”
I lunge into Mac’s back. “You motherfu—”
“Back off, Hatchet,” Mac says, her voice firm and undeniably serious. “Go back inside. Now.”
He throws his head back and laughs. “And if I don’t? What’re you gonna do about it, bitch?”
A strange feeling swells from my stomach to my chest. “Don’t you fucking talk to her, asshole. Your problem’s with me.”
He looks from me to her.
“Don’t fucking look at her either, unless you’re doing it to apologize.” I keep my voice low, hoping to avoid the neighbor’s involvement. The slight tick of his lips says I was loud enough for him to hear.
“Well, well, well, looks like our man’s man got a taste of some pussy and switched teams.”
“Shut the fuck up, Hatchet!” Mac says.
That’s it. I’m already about to jump this fuck for disrespecting a woman in her own driveway, and his verbal taunts are burning like acid.
My hands grip Mac’s shoulders and move her aside. She scrambles against me, but I step past her with ease.
“Rex, no!” She tries to hold me off, but I move quickly right into Hatchet’s face.
“I’ll give you first shot, fucker.” I smile, readying for the lightning pain that’s coming and excited about it. “Look.” I interlace my fingers behind my back. “Won’t even put my hands up.”
Hatchet’s eyes flare. “You’re bluffin’.”
“Try me, dickhead.”
He cocks his elbow.
“No!” Mac’s voice rings out. She throws herself between us seconds before his fist slams into her jaw.
She drops.
His eyes go wide.
“Motherfucker!” I attack with a right hook that sends him stumbling back.
He swings and hits my chest. My arm. One to my jaw. I feel nothing but the stimulating fury that powers my muscles.
Then, one after another, I let my fists fly. In a brutal wave, the anger and drive to defend boil over into punishing hits. We drop to the ground, putting him at the disadvantage. I lock him up with my legs. Arms swinging.
It doesn’t take long before he tires, and he no longer fights back. He could be knocked out, but my guess is he ran out of steam. Even still, I don’t let up, raining my fists into every exposed part of his torso. Something pulls me from behind.
“Stop!” Mac’s voice sounds far away.
I hit him again. And again.
The pull on my shirt intensifies. “Rex! Stop!” There’s a fear in her voice that settles deep in my gut, trading out my aggression for concern.
I push off the asshole biker and stand to feel Mac clinging to the back of my tee. The fog of rage dissipates. Shit, Mac.
I whirl around, breathing heavy. “Shit . . . are you . . . okay?”
She’s holding her cheek and there’s blood on her hand. My pulse rockets and propels me toward the tubby fuck.
Her grip on my shirt pulls tight. “Rex, no. Please. No more.”
She must be scared shitless, but it’s impossible to tell by looking at her. Nothing gives away what she’s thinking except for her hand still fisted tight into my shirt.
How can she be so calm after what that jackass did to her face? He started a fight in her driveway and threw a punch without even paying attention to where the fuck it landed.
My gut whirls with unease. This is just as much my fault as it is his. If I’d turned around and driven off like a pussy, none of this would’ve happened. Although, what would she have walked into tonight if I weren’t here? How often does she have to deal with this dipshit and his drunk ass?
I scrub my hand through my hair. This girl isn’t my business. But business or not, I need to make this right.
I peel her hand from my tee and take her to the passenger door of my truck. “Get in. Now.”
Her eyes grow wide over her hand that’s still holding her bleeding face. “I can’t. I . . . where are we going?”
“No clue. But I’m not leaving you here with this psycho.”
I look over to see Hatch now rolling around and moaning. Satisfaction swells in my chest.
“I’ll be okay.” She pulls her hand from mine.
“Get in the truck, Mac.”
“I—”
“Get in the motherfucking truck or I’ll throw you over my shoulder and put you in it!”
She jumps and scurries up into the passenger seat.
“Atta girl.” After she’s safely in the cab, I walk past a bloodied Hatchet and into her garage, hitting the button and running back to the truck. “Have a good night, fuckface.”
He flips me off.
I drive quickly out of the neighborhood and then pull over. “You’re bleeding pretty bad.” Grabbing the hem of my T-shirt, I pull it over my head and hand it to her. “Use this.”
She doesn’t take it from me. I swing my gaze to her and see her staring openly at my bare chest. Usually being studied like this makes me want to turn away, but there’s a longing in her eyes that draws me in. She absorbs me until I force myself back to the present. I blink hard. What the hell was that?
I shake the shirt at her and swallow past the whisper of arousal that dances through my blood. “Take it.”
Snatching it from my hand, she presses it against her face. “Thank you.” She drags her eyes up to my neck and settles at my face. I snag one end of the shirt and dab at a smudge of blood on her chin. She winces.
“I know it hurts.” The urge to continue cleaning her face is too strong. I drop my hand to my lap. “We should probably get you to the hospital—”
“No, please!” Terror flashes behind her light eyes. “No hospitals.”
“Shit, Mac.” She probably needs stitches. “There’s a lot of blood.”
Her free hand moves to the door handle. “I won’t go. I’ll run. I swear to God, if you take me to a hospital, I’ll—”
“Okay, okay, fine.” What the fuck is that all about? “I won’t take you.”
A long, deep breath and she relaxes. “Thanks, I um . . . sorry.”
It’s none of my business, but there’s something about this chick that makes me curious. I mean what kind of girl throws her body in front of a biker to protect a dude she hardly knows, but wants to cut and run at the mention of a hospital?
“You feel like telling me what that was all about?”
“I’m . . . afraid.” Her voice is so soft I can barely hear her.
Afraid. This girl?
Nothing I’ve seen from her yet points to her being anything but fearless. An irritating tick in the back of my mind reminds me of who I am. Live for a fight, the burn of a tattoo or pinch of a needle, yet I avoid the one thing in life most men can’t live without.
Yeah, I’m familiar with unreasonable fears. If she’s really afraid, then I don’t want to put her though more than she’s been through already. That only leaves one other option.
Anxiety pricks against my nerves. My chest gets tight, breathing shallow. “Okay, I’ll take you to my place. I have a first-aid kit.”
Fuckin’ shit! I throw the truck in drive.
This could possibly be a disaster.
~*~
Mac
Searing pain radiates through my cheek. Holding Rex’s T-shirt to my face, I inhale deeply, enjoying the smell of soap mixed with the salt of his clean sweat. The scent calms me enough so that I can replay in my head exactly what happened.
All I wanted to do was keep Rex from getting hit. Shielding him with my body was instinctual. And I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
I’d take a punch every day of my life if it means saving him from pain. I’ll never let anyone hurt Rex again, not if it’s within my power to protect him.
Watching him get hit would’ve been worse than the stabbing burn I’m feeling now. Hell, as long as he’s been fighting professionally, I’ve yet to watch him fight. There’s no way I could handle seeing him take punches all in the name of a paycheck.
We pull into the lot of his complex. The thought of being taken into Rex’s home does weird things to my insides. Excited flutters mix with anxiety and apprehension.
The truck jerks as he throws it in park, sending another bolt of fire through my cheek. Shit. What if I broke something?
“We’re here.” He hops out and runs to the passenger-side door.
I push it open, and he slides his hand around my upper arm to help me climb down.
“Easy, one rough step will hurt like a bitch.”
“I’m good.” I mumble through the fabric and press it closer to my nose.
The security lights in the lot give me a good look at his tattoos. One in particular on his left pec catches my eye. Mom. The simple word inked against a scroll over his heart. I drag my eyes away as tears prick the backs of my eyes.
He clicks the alarm on his truck, and with his hand still in the crook of my arm, he guides me through his complex.
I know exactly where he lives, but I drag my feet a little to pretend that I don’t. It’s when he pulls me up short, just shy of his front door, that my feet betray my plan. Having taken a few more steps past the door he’s currently sliding a key into, I stumble back to him.
“Whoa, you all right?” He holds my hand tighter to steady me.
This isn’t his place. Where are we? “Oh, yeah. Just got a little dizzy for a sec, but I’m good.”
He doesn’t look convinced but opens the door and pulls me into a dark apartment. Panic licks up my spine until he flips on a light.
I exhale hard and watch as he moves through the small apartment to the kitchen. “Have a seat on the couch. I’ll grab you some ice.”
I want to ask him where we are, but then he’d know that I know this isn’t his place. I swing my eyes around the living room. Everything in this place is mixed-matched. The dining room table is surrounded by four completely different chairs. A green plaid, loveseat-style couch is the room’s centerpiece complete with a UNLV blanket thrown over the back. A few candles on the coffee table and a bowl of potpourri clearly communicate a feminine touch. This is a girl’s apartment. I move to study a few framed pictures on a nearby bookshelf.
“Sit.”
I jump at Rex’s command and hope he didn’t catch me snooping. I drop to the couch and he squeezes in next to me. He leans in to inspect my cheek, and I keep my stare to his lips. His bare torso tempts me to study his tattoos. They’re everywhere: his chest, stomach, shoulders, even his neck. I know if I let my eyes drift lower I’ll get lost in the beauty of his body. No, stay on his lips.
He leans in and the slight pressure and heat of his knee as it touches mine sends tingles through my belly. My breath hitches in my throat.
He grimaces. “Damn, hurts that bad, huh?”
I manage a nod, grateful that he saw my gasp as pain rather than the pure zip of pleasure that his touch provokes.
His long fingers wrap around my wrist, and he pulls my hand away, taking the soothing-scented shirt with it. His eyes narrow and flash with something deadly before he wipes some blood away. “Yeah, he nailed you pretty good.” His words come from deep in his chest, vibrating the air between us.
Heat builds beneath the skin at my thigh and crawls upward at a teasing pace. I clear my throat, afraid my voice will crack with the pressure of his proximity. “Is um . . . my cheek broken?”
He lifts his hand to my face and tilts his head, studying my cheek. The moment his fingertips brush against my sensitive skin I fight the urge to close my eyes and lean into him. Instead, I stay glued on his perfect blue eyes. This is how close we would’ve been as kids. Eye to eye, no more than six inches of separation, holding on to the weight in his stare, just as I am now.
My heartbeat throbs so loud I can feel it in my wounded cheek and hear it in my ears. He presses lightly, but I refuse to flinch at the resulting pain out of fear that he’ll pull away.
His thick, black eyelashes close in tight over his blue eyes. “Fuck.” He rolls his lip ring into his mouth and drops his hand from my face. I miss his touch instantly and fight the urge to drop to my knees and beg for it back. He opens his eyes again, and the softness I see there turns my insides to liquid.
He’s the most handsome man I’ve ever seen: eyes so blue they’re like glacial ice, black hair that’s spiky and mussed up as if he’s been running his hands through it, his jaw line strong and masculine leading to the most succulent pair of lips, full and begging to be bitten.
“I don’t think it’s broken.”
“Huh?” His words break through my thoughts.
He brings his hand back, but this time it’s holding a bag of ice wrapped in a dishtowel. “Here. Hold this there. Should get the swelling down.”
“Thanks.” I groan and hold the cold to my cheek, wishing it was his hand instead.
Snap out of it! Having dirty thoughts of Rex does me no good. Remember who he is and why I’m here. A wave of nausea rolls through me. I’m not ready for this. I drop my head back to rest on the couch.
“You’re one tough broad, Mac.” He stands and moves into the small kitchen. “You took that hit like a man.”
“Ha. Yeah . . .” Taking a hit for Rex feels good. I mean my cheek hurts like hell, but the pain is relative. Knowing that I saved Rex from even one hit makes it easy to take.
I hear him moving around in the kitchen, and it sounds as if it’s a space he’s comfortable in, one he’s been in before. But who lives here?
“You want something to drink? Water, there’s some red juice and um . . .” I hear him moving stuff around in the fridge. “Starbucks coffee crap.”
“Water would be great.”
He drops back onto the couch next to me with a bottle of water. Cracking open the lid, he hands it to me. “Here.”
I sit back up and take a shallow gulp to avoid hurting my face. “Ahh, that’s perfect. Thanks.”
Silence settles between us, so I take my chance to ask. “Nice place. How long have you lived here?”
“This isn’t my place.” He fidgets a little but catches himself before it’s too obvious. “I live a few doors down.”
We’re in an apartment, in his complex, that he has a key to. What the hell? “Whose place is this?”
He avoids my eyes. “A friend, um . . . my neighbor. She’s out of town for a few days.”
My stomach drops. She. She! The girl from this morning. That’s why he was helping her with her bags. Holy fuck! He’s seeing his neighbor. He probably spends the night over here most nights, wrapped up in her arms, curled together on this couch. Ugh . . . I feel sick.
My jaw locks so tight my teeth ache and pain rockets through my cheek. The room starts to spin. I pinch my eyes closed. “Oh no. I think . . .” Yeah, I’m going to barf all over Little Miss Perfect’s pea-green plaid couch.
“Whoa, you don’t look so good.” I feel his hands on my shoulders, laying me back. “You probably have a concussion. They’ll make you sick, puke . . . it’s not pretty.”
I don’t have a fucking concussion! I’m sitting on your girlfriend’s couch. Probably where you two, oh no. Don’t throw up, do not throw up.
“You sure I can’t take you to a hospital?” There’s a new tone in his voice that I haven’t heard before. Is it . . . worry?
“I’m fine. I just want to go home and sleep—”
“Fuck no.”
My eyes pop open and snap to his. His eyes flame with anger.
“Rex, I can’t sleep here at your—”
“No, you should be at a hospital. But if you refuse to go, you’ll sleep here.”
“Here. At your girl—”
“Yeah. Why not?” He motions to the short hallway that leads to a bedroom I can see from where I am. “There’s a bed, probably plenty of girlie shit in the bathroom, and something to change into. Emma won’t mind.”
Emma. So that’s the bitch’s name. “I’m sure she’ll mind.”
“I’ll crash out here on the couch so I can check on you every few hours, wake you up and ask you shit.”
“No. You don’t need to do that.”
He lifts his pierced eyebrow, and I’m suddenly curious about what it would taste like if I kissed him there. Ugh, stop it.
He shrugs. “You goin’ to the hospital?”
“No, I told you—”
“Right. So you’re here and I’m waking you up every couple hours.” He holds my stare. Seconds pass.
A small smile curls my lips. “If those are my only choices—”
“They are.”
“You’re stubborn.”
“I’ve been called worse.” A very relaxed and equally gorgeous smile plays against his lips.
“Fine. I’ll stay.”
He nods and leans back, putting his feet up on the coffee table and crossing his arms at his chest. “Settled.” He pivots toward me. “And you call me stubborn. That’s three times tonight I’ve had to beg you to let me help you.”
I study my lap to avoid his probing glare. “I’m not used to people wanting to help me.” Especially the one person whom I promised to help. I could’ve saved him from the abuse if only I’d been smarter, older, more aware. If only I’d asked him, forced him to tell me what he was going through. God, all those men. He was a child, a defenseless boy!
“Mac?”
I peek up at him to see his concerned eyes on me. “Yeah?”
“You’re going green again. I think you need to lie down.”
He’s right. I fantasized about all the things I’d say to him if I finally got him to speak to me, all the things I’d ask if we ever ended up somewhere alone and private. Here I am, and I can’t put together a coherent thought.
I stand and hand him my ice pack. “Here. I think I’m good. You should ice your knuckles.”
He flexes his hand a few times but doesn’t show even a hint of discomfort. “Nah, feels good.”
Feels good? I mark that down on my mental list of things to obsess about, but not tonight. Way too much has happened and I need a moment to process.
“Right, well, it was nice to finally hang out with you. Thanks for saving me . . . three times.”
His face grows serious. Thoughtful. “Hey”—he shrugs—“you saved me too.”
I didn’t. Not when it mattered most. But I’m here to make up for that.