I was rushed by Teagan as soon as I set foot in Brooks Street on Monday morning, nearly knocking us both to the floor.
“Oh my God, I’ve been going out of my mind. I didn’t know if you were alive. Finn said—but I knew. Somehow I knew that if anyone could escape them, it would be you. I knew I needed to be waiting for you this morning. If they’d taken you or if you’d escaped, I had to still be waiting so you would know I hadn’t given up on you,” she rambled as tears streamed down her cheeks.
“I’m fine,” I assured her when she paused long enough to take a breath. “I’m fine. What did Finn say? I’ve been home since Thursday afternoon. The guys were all informed of what happened at the meeting yesterday.”
A cold, hateful look crossed her face at the news. “He came home so mad . . .”
My stare immediately fell to her neck and arms, looking for any signs that he’d hurt her recently.
“Don’t. I’m fine. He just came home cussing and kicking things over before he started drinking. He passed out on the couch sometime last night.” Her head shook, the movement slight as if she couldn’t understand. “He got a call Wednesday night. It was late enough he didn’t even bother leaving the bedroom when he called his dad to talk to him about it because he thought I was still asleep. It was about your house being trashed and you missing. He’s been so quiet since. He hasn’t said a word or had a call with anyone else. I was sure there would’ve been another call with his dad after the meeting yesterday, or Bailey would’ve come over. But there was nothing. When he came home so angry, I thought . . . I thought . . .” Her chin wavered and fresh tears filled her eyes.
“Let’s sit and I’ll tell you what happened.” I rubbed her shoulder in a lame attempt to soothe her, and silently led her back to our normal booth where two coffees already waited.
I’d just helped her into her side when everything she’d said finally clicked.
“Of course Finn’s angry,” I whispered, a disbelieving laugh punching from my chest as I moved to sit on my side. “Of course. Now that you know I’m okay, think about it. He and Bailey have been waiting for that last big thing to happen so they could overthrow Mickey. Me being taken by a Borello would’ve been their perfect opportunity.”
I watched as realization hit, slowly replaced by horror. Teagan’s head shook quickly. “You think he set this up?”
My brows lifted in surprise. “What—no. I didn’t say that, I just meant it would’ve been perfect. The Borellos would’ve handed the opportunity to Bailey and Finn on a silver platter.”
And suddenly it seemed too perfect.
How the Borellos knew exactly where I was. How they knew which night to hit.
If it was even them at all.
I don’t know how long I’d been staring at the table in dread before I looked at Teagan again, but she was covering her mouth as her head continued to shake, this time slowly.
“Where was he Wednesday night?”
“Home,” she responded from behind her hand. “All night, and I have no reason to lie for that bastard. Finn’s parents had dinner with us. He and Bailey both left the room a couple times for work calls, but—”
“That’s normal,” I finished for her, nodding in agreement. “It’s probably just a stretch. What isn’t is that it would’ve been a perfect opportunity for them, and that has to be why he was so mad yesterday.”
“You’re right,” she said after a minute, then dropped her hands to the table. “Now tell me what happened. I’ve been going—”
“You ladies ready to order?”
I glanced up at the feminine voice that came from beside us, and knew I wasn’t able to hide my surprise in seeing her standing there instead of Ethan. He’d been our waiter every week for the last two years.
My stomach twisted when I remembered Wednesday night, when I remembered how different he was after he’d been drinking and how Dare had been there.
And this was Dare’s mom’s café.
I hated thinking the way he’d acted when he drank might be the reason he wasn’t here this morning. Then again, he might actually be dangerous if he’d come across a normal girl.
But that wasn’t something I would know.
I’d been raised to be a pawn by a man who manipulated people, bending them to his will.
I wasn’t exactly normal.
As soon as we’d finished ordering, Teagan said, “Right. That happened too. She came up and asked for a drink order when I first got here. Said Ethan doesn’t work here anymore.”
My eyes fluttered shut and I exhaled slowly. “Yeah, uh, I’m pretty sure I know why. Last week—” My words caught in my throat as that familiar, heady electricity slid over my skin.
It felt like the sweetest Hello after the most heart-wrenching Goodbye.
I opened my eyes to Teagan’s frustrated glare that was slowly turning more confused, and I knew without turning around that he was coming closer.
I could feel it in the way that electric current went from a soft hum to a steady buzz.
As much as I wanted to see him, as much as I wanted to experience everything he could give me again and again, I wanted to hate him for giving me a taste of bliss before ripping it away so brutally.
“Firefly.”
A shuddering breath tore from me at the ache in his tone, at having him so close, but I didn’t look away from Teagan. Her shock from hearing him speak wasn’t lost as she looked from him to me.
“Elle, please,” he begged when I didn’t respond and reached for my hand where it rested on the table. “Let me talk to you.”
Teagan’s eyes widened at the contact, a sneer curling on her lips.
When her eyes met mine, they said more than words could.
She felt betrayed. She was furious.
“I can explain,” I mouthed to her, but she simply shook her head.
“Five minutes,” Dare continued. “Plea—”
“You’ve said enough,” I whispered, slanting him a glare and wishing more than anything I hadn’t looked at him.
Because that look made me want his words and his lips and his hands despite his callous rejection.
It made me want him to try to explain away what he said.
It made me want to cry because he’d crossed that invisible barrier again.
He nodded slowly. “But not what needs to be said.”
“Dare—”
“Five minutes.”
I looked at him warily before glancing back at an outraged Teagan.
I knew no matter what I decided then, I was going to have to explain myself. I was going to have to tell her about last week. In detail. And while I thought I’d already known—my heart needed to know how this was going to end with Dare before I did that.
“Five minutes, and then I tell you everything,” I promised Teagan.
I’d barely started sliding out of the booth before Dare was pulling me the rest of the way and hurrying us through the café and into an office.
As soon as the door was shut and locked behind us, I gritted out, “You’re a bastard,” at the same time he said, “I’m sorry.”
Just two words, but they were filled with so much pain and exhaustion and worry.
“Yes, Elle, I’m a bastard. That and a thousand other things.” He slowly moved toward me, gauging my reaction as he lifted his hands to curl them around my face. “But I am so goddamn sorry.”
“Don’t do this,” I pleaded. “Don’t confuse my heart when we both know how you feel.”
His brow furrowed, those dark eyes burning and begging for me to see him the way he seemed to see me. “How I feel? Firefly . . . I’m fucking terrified.”
He released me and moved away, agony lining his face as stepped back to sit on the desk.
“Of what?” I asked when the silence became too much.
“You.” He tossed the word out there like it should’ve been obvious. “I had someone who meant . . . she meant everything to me. And she was taken from me.”
Jealousy had started unfurling in my stomach before it felt like a weight settled in its place. “Oh, Dare. I’m so sorry. What happened?”
He stared at a spot on the floor for a few seconds before lifting his shoulders. “Details aren’t important. It happened a long time ago. But the thought of letting myself get close to someone else, let alone care about them, terrifies me. I’ve spent the past two years watching you, knowing I needed to keep my distance because you intrigued me in a way no one ever has. And then Johnny . . .” He huffed, but it sounded pained. “After he attacked you, all I could see was you dying the way she’d died, and I panicked. I couldn’t let that happen. I knew you had to leave before you got hurt again. Or worse.”
I released his name on a breath, unable to voice it any louder when his pain was tightening my throat with emotion. “I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t help, and I know they’re useless words when you’ve lost someone . . . but I am sorry.”
“Like I said, it happened a long time ago. But what I did to you—what I said—I don’t know how to take that back.”
“Why tell me?” I asked, catching his stare. “Why not let me continue believing you wanted nothing to do with me?”
“Because all I’ve wanted since you walked out the door was to find you again.” He slipped off the desk, his large frame so commanding and comforting as he moved toward me. “I’ve been counting down the damn hours until this morning because you’ve consumed every thought. You lit up one night . . . and I can’t go back to the dark after that.”
“My life is complicated,” I warned as he pressed me up against the door.
His expression suddenly fell into an unreadable mask. “I’ve been told.”
“I can’t give you what you’re wanting.”
He gently eased his hand into my hair to cradle my head. “So, there is a boyfriend . . . and from what Libby and Einstein said, he’s someone you’re running from.”
“No. No, it’s not like that. It’s so much more complicated than that.”
“Libby was sure you were running from someone the other night. I can’t protect you if you don’t tell me what you’re running from.”
“I don’t—I was, but I don’t need to be protected,” I said, the words coming out more harshly than I intended. “I know how to protect myself, but that doesn’t change what’s happening in my life.”
He studied me for a few seconds before nodding. “Okay. You can’t give me what I’m wanting,” he murmured, tossing my words back to me. “Does that mean if it was someone else . . . if it was one of the twins?”
I relaxed against the door and him, and fought the urge to show him everything I was thinking and wanting to do. “You know that’s not what I meant. You didn’t have to ask.”
“I’m not the one who keeps running away, Firefly,” he said softly as he brushed his thumb along my cheek.
“You forced me away.”
His mouth twitched into a frown at the reminder. “I’m afraid of what will happen to you if I keep you by my side, and there’s shit happening in your life that makes you run from what you want. But we’re still here,” he said, his voice gruff as he bent his head closer.
“You dragged me in here.”
His answering glare was almost enough to make me smile in that moment.
“You wouldn’t be in here if you didn’t want to be.”
“I wish I’d met you in a different life,” I whispered as I lifted my hand, trailing the tips of my fingers along his lips. “I’ve wanted something else for my life for so long, I can’t remember a time where I wasn’t planning to get away from North Carolina. And yet, even as those plans continued, I’ve hated the thought of not seeing you every week. After the street fair—” I bit down on my lip to stop the words from tumbling out, but held his stare as they begged to be freed.
After you freed me.
After you forced me to acknowledge how much a stranger had come to mean to me.
After you made me crave you in a way I’ve never experienced.
“But it doesn’t matter what I want. I wouldn’t know how to let myself have it. If I’m honest with myself—I know I can’t. And if I took what I wanted, it would result in heartache for so many people, and too many lies told to you.”
One of his brows lifted slowly. “Really?”
“I can’t tell you what’s happening, and there would come a point where you would demand to know. Don’t deny that.”
From the way his jaw tensed, I knew he wanted to.
I placed my hand against his chest and put the slightest pressure there. “So I think it’s best for everyone if we say goodbye and I go back to my booth, and dream about a life where we might have been.”
He let me push him away slowly, his face etched with frustration as he watched me reach for the knob to unlock and open the door.
“Goodbye, Dare.”
I’d barely turned when he slammed the door shut and pressed my back to it again.
“Then lie to me,” he begged just before his mouth fell onto mine.
One of my hands had been braced on his chest, whether to steady myself or continue pushing him away, I wasn’t sure, and I no longer cared. Because my fingers were now curling into his shirt to pull him closer as I melted into his arms.
He held me tightly, like he was afraid of what would happen if he let go.
A fear I understood all too well.
With the hand that wasn’t pinned between us, I brushed the tips of my fingers along his jawline and moaned into his mouth when he deepened the kiss. His tongue teased mine, coaxing more from me that I willingly gave.
More of my mind, more of my heart, more of my soul.
I knew right then he could have it all, and I would still find more to give, because nothing in my world had ever felt as right as kissing him.
“You’re such a complication,” I whispered against his lips, and felt him smile in response.
“You’re a dream inside a living nightmare, and I’m a bastard for pulling you in.”
I looked up to see him watching me, anguish filling his eyes.
“A selfless man would have let you walk away.”
Everything he said was as if it was taken from my own mind. Dare had no idea just how terrified I was for him, and yet, I would fail if I tried to stay away from him.
“If I was selfless, I would’ve never set foot in this café. I would’ve never looked at you or thought of you. I would’ve never let you kiss me.” My voice dropped to a whisper. “I wouldn’t be considering impossible things that terrify me for so many reasons.”
He dipped his head, brushing his mouth along my jaw, back to my ear. “Don’t be afraid.”
My knees weakened and heart raced, and all I wanted was to let him continue the slow tortuous dance his lips were making down my neck.
I wanted so, so much.
But one of those terrifying reasons was Teagan, and I knew she was waiting for me—knew we’d been in the office for longer than five minutes.
“I need to get back to my friend before she comes looking for me,” I managed to whisper when he lightly nipped at my neck.
Dare stilled for a second, then breathed a low, “Shit.” He stepped back enough to look at me, but didn’t release me. “When will I see you again?”
“I don’t know. Next Monday?” I offered, making the words sound like a question that he didn’t find amusing. “I don’t have a phone. I don’t know when I’ll be anywhere or where I’ll be except for here.”
He stared at the door for a few seconds, then nodded grudgingly. “Okay.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll try to be around, but I can’t promise anything,” I said as I opened the door and took a step back.
“How am I supposed to find you?”
“Wait for me to light up the dark,” I teased as I slipped out of the office.
“Truth or dare,” he called out just as I rounded the hall to take me back into the main part of the café.
I paused, a smile pulling at my lips as I turned to face him. “Don’t you know what I’ll choose?”
“I can’t read your mind, Firefly. I only know what you’ll choose when you’re afraid.”
“Then dare.”
Surprise flickered in his eyes and that carefree grin lit up his face. But his voice held a hint of hesitation and worry when he pled, “Give me you.”
“I already have. I could deny and fight my feelings for you for the rest of my life, but I can see it was never a choice with you. But our lives . . . they aren’t ready for the fallout of this.”
And I hate every obstacle preventing us.
His brow pinched in confusion, but before he could question me, I turned and hurried back to a silently fuming Teagan.
Minutes passed as we watched each other. I opened my mouth at least a dozen times tell her about Conor being sent away and running into Ethan at the street fair, but it never seemed right.
Because this had started two years ago.
And Teagan knew that.
“I hope you know what you’re doing,” she finally hissed when I failed to speak. “You’re not just ruining your life and a lifelong relationship, you’re destroying the hope of an entire family’s future. That includes mine.” Her tone was bitter and harsh, but her eyes filled with sadness. “And your ogling guy? What was his name, Darren? You’ve just ordered his death from a guy he’ll never see coming.”