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Firefly (Redemption Book 2) by Molly McAdams (9)

 

 

I didn’t watch her go, but it was impossible to miss the shift in the air once she was gone.

Something in me called to go after her. To chase her down and beg for her name. To ask what she was doing to me with those wide eyes and those lips I’d wanted to claim again and again.

This was no longer about just revealing her truths.

This was so much more.

Everyone stopped eating to look at me as soon as she left, but I refused to meet their questioning stares.

“Well, I’ll go first,” Libby stated after a minute of silence. “What the hell?”

“Who the fuck was that?” Johnny growled in a low tone that earned him a glare.

“I think she’s pretty.” Einstein shrugged, then fixed me with a wild-eyed stare I’d come to recognize meant there was a code she wanted to crack.

She would be nearly impossible to be around until she had.

“But there’s something about her mouth, I’m tellin’ ya, Dare,” she went on, her words now rushed at the thought of having something new to work on. “I know her, and I’m going to figure out how.”

An addict looking for their next fix. That was Einstein when it came to codes.

I now knew the feeling.

Two years of keeping a distance. Then ten minutes and two kisses with the girl, and I’d been reduced to a restless junkie. Muscles twitching as I forced myself not to jump out of my chair so I could find her and get another taste.

I was ready to beg Einstein to help me figure out who the girl was when Diggs huffed. “I’ll tell her what she can do with that mouth . . .”

I launched the first phone I touched at his face, but he caught it in time.

“That was mine,” Einstein yelled and kicked me from under the table.

“I don’t know her,” Johnny muttered, his attention on Einstein before drifting toward the direction the girl had gone. “But there’s something not right about her.”

“Back to my question,” Libby interrupted. “What the hell, Dare? She was just suddenly there? And after what happened the other morning?”

“What happened the other morning?” Johnny demanded, but Libby continued on.

“And you were—you were . . .” Her shock and irritation with me were replaced by hurt and sadness. Her voice dropped when she said, “It’s been almost four years and you were—”

I shoved away from the table and took off after the girl before Libby could finish.

Because it had been almost four years.

Since my world had gone to hell. Since I’d wanted someone the way I wanted this girl. Since I’d struggled to keep myself from touching a girl—kissing her.

And I couldn’t let her walk away now.

I found her rushing through the crowd, and hurried to get to her before she could slip away.

I reached for her, grasping her wrist to stop her and turn her toward me. The jolt that went through her body felt as if it had gone through my own.

“I’m sorry,” she cried out, her next words falling from her lips on a rush. “I’m so sorry. I—” Her eyes widened in horror when she looked up and saw me there, her body still trembling violently.

From her outright panic when she first turned, I wondered if there was someone she’d been waiting for—someone she’d expected to show.

Someone she’d been afraid would.

“Dare.” She swayed toward me for a moment before blinking quickly and trying to pull away. “Please. I told you . . . I have to go.”

I looked away for only a second to see where we were, then pulled her down a little alley between two shops.

“No, no, no. I need to go. I need—”

I pressed my mouth to hers to stop her hurried plea, and because I couldn’t imagine going another minute without feeling the rush when I did.

Fucking ecstasy.

She gripped at my forearms to steady herself, a soft moan sounding in her throat and getting lost in the kiss as I pushed her gently up against the wall of one of the buildings.

“Dare,” she whispered when her back settled, my name sounding like a hesitant invitation.

I forced myself to remember where we were—to remember she’d had me chasing her in the short time I’d let myself be around her—when all I wanted was to hear her say it again.

Hear her scream it.

One of her hands moved down to grip at my shirt, pulling me closer, but the hand clinging to my arm was straining, as if she was trying to force herself to push me away.

“Truth or dare,” I murmured against her lips, then kissed her again.

Her breaths were heavy when I pulled away so she could answer, indecision playing in her eyes. “Why . . . why do you keep asking me that?”

“Because people who are scared always pick truth, and I need to know if you’re lying to me.”

“If you know what I’m going to choose, why give me an option?”

My mouth lifted in a smirk. “It’s what I do. Truth or dare.”

Her head dropped and voice lowered, but not enough that I didn’t hear her when she said, “If you already have me so figured out, then ask your question.”

I leaned back and pressed my knuckles under her chin so I could search her eyes. “Are you in danger?”

Instead of the immediate response I expected, she studied me for a few moments. “What do you think?”

“Yes.”

A shudder ran through her body as she nodded absentmindedly, her breaths slowly growing more exaggerated as my answer hovered between us. “Then you should probably let me go.”

She was skipping around every answer, but it didn’t matter. I’d spent the last two years trying to understand her expressions. I’d seen her fear earlier, and I’d seen it again when I’d caught up to her.

I tried, but couldn’t contain the smile that stretched across my face. She didn’t know me—didn’t know anything about my life. But the thought that I’d let her go because she was in danger was ridiculous. One of the most dangerous men in the state, and probably the most dangerous man she would ever meet, currently held her. Nothing would happen to her as long as I continued to.

“Nothing’s getting past me,” I assured her.

Her breath washed over my lips as I leaned in to kiss her again when she whispered, “I thought we were talking about you.”

I paused for a few seconds, then looked up into her hazel eyes. “What?”

“I think I’m in danger from you.”

My brow pulled tight, and I forced out a low, frustrated laugh. “Me.”

She nodded again, the movement of her head so slow as her eyes explored mine. “I need you to let me go for so many reasons, but I easily forget why when you don’t. I think there was a reason neither of us crossed that invisible barrier before today. Because being in your arms?” She hesitated, her tongue quickly darting out to wet her lips. “Trust me, it’s dangerous.”

A weight pressed down on my chest, making it hard to breathe. Because damn it if she wasn’t right.

There were dozens of girls over the years who’d meant nothing more than a night. Maybe two. Not one could I remember the name of, most I couldn’t remember their face.

Then there’d been one who I would’ve sold my soul for if I could’ve had one more night with her.

My days with her had been everything. A slow burn that had built over time until I hadn’t been able to get enough of her. Until she’d meant too much.

And there hadn’t been a girl since.

Not a second glance. Not a thought. Nothing.

Until one morning at Brooks a few years ago.

But there was nothing slow about the thoughts and needs for the girl pressed against me. There hadn’t been since the very first morning I’d found her staring at a mirror like it had the power to destroy her world. Like that possibility fascinated her.

Fuck, if I didn’t need to find out why.

Dangerous was exactly what we were. Only she had no idea just how much.

My gut twisted as unwanted thoughts entered my mind, but I pushed them away. Because I knew what I needed to do. I needed to let her go and force myself not to follow.

But when there’s a flicker of light in your life after so much darkness, it’s impossible to stay away.

And this girl burned so damn bright.

Calling to me and beckoning me toward her, and I knew no matter how many times I let her slip away, I would follow her just to catch her again.

I brushed my thumb across her full lips. “Goddamn firefly.”

She’d started leaning into my touch, but stilled when I spoke, her eyebrows pulling together in confusion. “What?”

“Tell me why you left.”

“What?” she repeated, then blinked quickly as she pulled away from my hand, as if she’d just remembered she didn’t want me touching her. “If you’ve forgotten, you told me to leave.”

“You wanted to go, I wasn’t going to force you to stay. But I thought you would’ve because you and I both know you didn’t want me to let you go.”

She sucked in a quick breath at the reminder, her mouth stayed slightly parted like she wanted to deny it. But when no denial came, her eyes pleaded with me to understand. “I needed you to.”

“Why?” I begged. “What did you keep looking for tonight?”

Her head was already shaking, an excuse or evasion on her lips.

“Who did you think I was when I came after you just now? You were apologizing before you even turned around and looked fucking terrified. Most girls would scream if they were grabbed—not do what you did.”

“It’s complicated.”

“Boyfriend?” I asked, my tone harder than I meant for it to be.

Ethan also told everyone that this girl had claimed to have a boyfriend. Something no one had believed since we’d all witnessed his pathetic attempts to get her attention over the years. Something I hadn’t believed until just before she’d left the table.

“It’s complicated,” she began again.

“It doesn’t have to be,” I argued. “But I’d like to know what I’m up against, and I’d like to know if you’re in danger from someone other than me.”

A sad laugh tumbled from those lips and her eyes met mine. “Of course not.”

True.

She let loose a slow breath. “You know, most girls would probably scream when some stranger grabs them and kisses them too. If not the first time, then the second. Or third.”

She was trying to change the conversation again, but I had a feeling she would continue to no matter how many times I pushed to understand what had happened with her tonight.

So instead of trying to get inside her mind one last time, I let my mouth pull into a smirk. “I’d hardly say we’re strangers, Firefly.”

That same confusion from before settled over her face. “Are you calling me—why are you calling me that?”

Because it’s exactly what she was.

I dipped my head closer to hers and asked, “Have you ever tried to catch a firefly?”

“What? No.”

I lifted a hand to cradle her face, and tried to contain the urge to pull her closer when she relaxed into my touch. It’d been so long since I’d had this, and the sickening sense of fear that crawled through my veins almost made me wish I’d never found it again.

I was afraid of losing the electric hum I felt everywhere I touched her. I was terrified of losing the only person who had made me feel in so long. But I didn’t know how to keep it. How to contain it.

Goddamn firefly.

I swallowed roughly as I forced that unwanted fear back. “You wait for them to light up in the dark, then try to catch them before they stop glowing,” I explained. “You’re the first light that has appeared after many very dark years. After tonight, I know I would chase you, just for you to keep slipping away week after week. But I also know I would willingly do it just to keep seeing you light up the dark.”

She stared at me in awe for a few moments before realization settled over her, and she tried to pull away from my hold. “I have to go.”

“My point exactly.”

“Right,” she huffed, her hazel eyes narrowing on me. “And how many girls have you used that ‘firefly’ thing on before?”

Her question stunned me for a second, but before I could give her a response, Johnny was suddenly there.

“Dare.”

I whipped my head toward him, ready to make him leave, but my demand died on my tongue when he said, “Time to go.”

There was nothing special about his words, but it was the tick of his eyebrow that meant everything, and a sudden surge of adrenaline and hatred pounded through my veins at the possibility of what was waiting for us.

I dipped my head in a nod. “Coming.”

Looking back at the girl in front of me, my sudden aggravation poured through my tone. “Before tonight? I’d never said those words to anyone. Before tonight? I hadn’t kissed anyone in years. I told you, my life has been dar—”

Her head was shaking and she hurried to speak over me. “You’re someone who kissed a stranger for all the wrong reasons. You can’t tell me it isn’t something you do.”

I met and held her stare, noting the hurt she was trying to cover with pride.

I saw it, and it was adding to the frustration that Johnny’s arrival meant for us all.

“Think what you want,” I said on a low growl. “Tell yourself all of it was just a way to get you into my bed. Try to forget what this felt like.” I pressed her body closer to mine for emphasis. “Try to make yourself believe you wanted me to let you go. Tell yourself you didn’t lean into me when I kissed you.”

“Those kisses meant nothing.” Her voice was a whisper, but she wasn’t able to cover the tremble in her voice. “We’ll forget about them by morning and go back to not speaking next week . . . and you know it.”

Lie.

“Got it.” I released her and took a couple steps away, then stopped and looked back at her. “Truth or dare.”

She clenched her jaw and didn’t say a word.

“Truth then,” I murmured, choosing for her, and closed the distance between us again. “You want me to kiss you again.”

She didn’t answer, and she didn’t need to. The longing that flashed through her eyes was the only answer I needed.

I couldn’t have fought the smile that spread across my face if I’d tried.

I leaned close to brush my lips against her jaw. “Looking forward to chasing you, Firefly.”

I turned and followed Johnny out of the alleyway, ignoring his hardened stare.

“Libby told me about her. When were you gonna tell me you’ve been watching this girl at Brooks, and why didn’t you point her out before?” When I didn’t respond, he said, “I don’t like that she’s always there on Mondays. There’s something about her, Dare. I don’t trust he—”

“I don’t care,” I said firmly. “What’s going on?”

He blew out a harsh breath and ran a hand through his hair as he spoke, his words nearly lost in the noises from the street fair. “Lily O’Sullivan.”

Just hearing her name made me see red. Made my entire world go dark again. Nothing but ice-cold rage roared through my veins, so different from the heated moments before.

But I’d already known that was why Johnny pulled me away. What I needed to know was what new leads we had in regards to this supposedly dead princess. “Right, what do we have?”

“Got someone waiting for you who has information—says he has a recent picture.”

I stopped dead in my tracks for all of two seconds before I began walking toward where we’d left the cars, this time faster than before. “Libby stays with the twins . . . Einstein comes with us. If there is a picture, it goes to her so she can make sure it’s legit and test it against other pictures of Lily. If this bitch is still alive, her breaths are numbered.”