Ace
Waking up in Phoenix’s bed without Phoenix was a strange sensation, one that Ace didn’t like in the slightest. At some point after Phoenix left, Lucy had climbed up the bed, and Ace woke to her licking his face. He frowned, looking around the room for any sign of Phoenix, but there was none to be found.
He climbed out of bed and walked downstairs to the living room, but Phoenix wasn’t there either, or in the kitchen, or even in his shed. As he walked through the kitchen a second time, he spotted a note on the counter.
Ace,
Gone out for a little while. I’ll be back later and we can talk then. I’m okay. I promise.
Phoenix
His stomach clenched at the note. Of course Phoenix would still be trying to reassure him he was okay. If that were the case, though, where was he? Why hadn’t he stayed to talk about it? Not that there was much to talk about.
Phoenix seemed to think there was no real discussion to be had at all. He would just take the job in New York and leave everything behind. And two months ago, he would have been right. But things were so much different now than they had been. He had a reason to stay. More than one, if he were being honest with himself.
When he had first moved back, he’d been so convinced he wasn’t going to stay here permanently. The first job opportunity that came his way, he would take it. But being back home also meant he could reconnect with the people he grew up with, this time as an adult. That made all the difference. He wasn’t some kid with great potential who was going to take the world by storm. He was Ace. The same Ace they had known their entire lives, only now they saw him as an equal. He had nothing to prove anymore.
The door opened and closed, and a moment later, Phoenix came into the kitchen. He unwound his scarf and pulled off his coat, all the while keeping his gaze on anything except Ace. Ace sighed. Not so okay after all.
“Hey,” he said gently. “I saw your note.”
Phoenix nodded. “I didn’t want you to wake up and wonder where I’d gone, or think I was mad at you.”
His voice was raspy, as though he had been crying, and Ace wanted to pull him close and hold him tight.
“Where did you go?” he asked.
“Joel’s. He’s a morning person, so I knew I wouldn’t be waking him up. We had coffee and doughnuts and I told him that you were leaving.”
Ace frowned. “Can you see the future, now?”
“No, of course not.”
“Then how do you know I’m leaving? I haven’t made up my mind yet, and I don’t plan on doing so until we have a chance to talk.”
Sighing, Phoenix shook his head. “There’s nothing to talk about. This is the perfect opportunity for you. It’s everything you want. Everything you’ve worked for. I’m not going to hold you back.”
“Who says you’re holding me back? If I choose to stay here—”
“Then you’ll have done it to be with me. That isn’t me being vain. I know why you would stay. I can’t do that to you.”
Ace opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again. Phoenix was holding onto the bar so tightly his knuckles were white, and he was trembling slightly. His mouth was set in a grim line, and he looked almost pained, as though having the conversation was sheer agony. But there he stood, doing it anyway. Ace’s heart ached for him.
“You’re not going to let me stay for you, are you?” he asked softly.
“No.” The word came out broken.
Ace’s resolve broke. He crossed the kitchen and pulled Phoenix against his chest, his fingers tightening in Phoenix’s sweater as Phoenix let out a wounded noise. He hated this. Hated that he had gotten the offer, hated that he’d told Phoenix about it. It would have been easier to just cut and run.
Easier, perhaps, but not better. Phoenix would still have had his heart broken. Only he wouldn’t have known why.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, stroking through Phoenix’s hair. “I want to stay. You know I want to.”
And dammit, he would have, if Phoenix would let him.
He held Phoenix there in the kitchen for what felt like hours, cradling him as close as he possibly could. When he finally pulled away, Phoenix looked horrible. His eyes were red rimmed, and his face was puffy. It was almost enough to make Ace pull him back again. But he had things that needed to be done.
“I need to tell Bud,” he said.
The words seemed to fill the room, though his voice was little more than a whisper.
“I know,” Phoenix said. He wiped at his eyes with the back of his hands. “Go do that. You can come back after you’re done.”
Leaning down, Ace pressed a soft kiss to Phoenix’s cheek, then walked out of the kitchen to grab his shoes.
***
Walking into the Wilmingson Herald was infinitely more difficult this time around than it had been the day Ace first started. Two months ago, he hadn’t wanted to be back in this town, much less this building. But now, he dreaded telling Bud he was leaving.
He crossed the bullpen back to Bud’s office door and knocked. A moment later, it opened.
“Oh hey, Ace. Is everything okay?”
Ace nodded. “Yeah, do you have a minute? I want to talk to you about something.”
Bud frowned, but a moment later, his eyes widened. “Oh sure, sure. Come on in.”
He closed the door as soon as Ace was inside, then walked around his desk to take his seat. “So. Have you been thinking any more about my offer?”
Rubbing his hand across the back of his neck, Ace did his best to avoid looking at Bud. “I have, yes. That’s actually why I came by. A few weeks ago I went up to New York for an interview with the New York Chronicle, and they asked me to be their associate section editor.”
“Oh.”
“I didn’t know until yesterday, but I’ve been weighing up my options, and I feel like I really need to take that opportunity. It’s a fantastic position, one that would give me a chance to move up in the company and become managing editor one day.”
The words sounded hollow in his ears. He knew, though, once he got up to New York and took the position, things would get better. He wouldn’t feel like he was making the worst decision of his life.
“Well. I don’t know what to say. I mean, I always knew you wanted to go out and work for a big paper, but I guess I thought you’d see how great Wilmingson was and stick around.”
“It is great,” Ace said earnestly. “And I do want to stay. But this is a good move for me, career-wise.”
“I know. You’re going to be missed around here. Sarah, over at the assisted living home, she said she’d never seen a reporter who did so well with the residents.”
Ace shrugged. “It’s easy when you’ve known them your entire life. Not that the rest of the staff hasn’t.”
He didn’t know how accurate that statement was, though. Aside from one or two familiar faces, the Herald was mostly made up of people he didn’t know.
“You’re a good reporter, Ace. You care about the people and you care about their stories. That shows. It showed in Phoenix’s article.”
Ace swallowed hard. “I’m glad.”
“How is he taking it, you leaving? You know he doesn’t do well with change.”
This really wasn’t what he needed right now. It was hard enough leaving Phoenix, but to have Bud try to guilt trip him wasn’t fair.
“He was the one who told me to go after it, actually.” Ace’s tone was a bit too frosty. “He said that if it was my dream job, then I should take it.”
“Well of course he would. He isn’t going to tell you not to do something you love. But it isn’t right.”
“What isn’t?” Ace didn’t actually think he wanted to know, but Bud would probably tell him anyway.
“You get involved with him, treat him like he’s special, and then you leave at the first opportunity you get.”
Ace took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I understand that you’re coming from a place of concern and caring for Phoenix, but believe me when I say so am I. We talked about this. We discussed what each of us wanted. And for what it’s worth, I was ready to stay in Wilmingson for him, but he didn’t want me to give up my career. Before you judge me for my decision, get all of the facts first. You’re a journalist. You should know that.”
Bud sighed. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right. I just can’t stand the thought of him being hurt. He’s a special kid.”
“He’s not exactly a kid anymore,” Ace pointed out. “And I know he’s special. I don’t want to hurt him either. He deserves someone who wants to stay around here. Someone who doesn’t have one foot here and one foot wherever the next job is.”
Ace tried to imagine Phoenix’s next boyfriend. Would he be an art person? Maybe it was someone they already knew. Joel was single, and even though Phoenix had said he wasn’t his type, things happened. Ace had dated guys who weren’t his type before.
“You really believe that? You think he deserves someone else?”
He nodded.
“Then why are your hands clenched?” Bud asked.
Looking down, Ace found he had balled his hands into fists, and his cheeks heated. “I didn’t realize they were.”
“I figured that,” Bud said. “Listen, you have to do what you have to do. Just make sure everyone’s okay with that decision.”
“I already told you, Phoenix—”
“I said everyone.”
Ace closed his mouth. He didn’t know what to say to that. He wanted to tell Bud he was fine with his decision, but he wasn’t. Not fully. Taking a deep breath, he nodded and stood. “I’ll see you around, okay?”
“I expect you to come by before you leave.”
A small smile flickered across his lips. “Yes, sir.”