Brenna

Heat. Wind. Light. Gunn was all of it. I’d lived in Green Bluff my entire life, but I’d never seen it like this.

As soon as we left the residential streets behind, Gunn took to the rural highway surrounding the town. Open fields whizzed by as my ponytail flew back beneath the helmet. Gunn let the throttle out and I gave a little shriek of joy. The ribbon I’d used to tie my hair flew off.

Gunn hugged the curves and I kept a vice grip around his waist. He was hard muscle. Steel wrapped in leather. His scent filled me. Strong. Masculine. Virile.

We were flying. I felt the power of the bike’s engine vibrate between my legs. This was sensual. Primal. Raw. I understood. My brother would never let me ride with him. I was too little. Too scared. He was always afraid of hurting me. But now ... this ... I’d never felt so free in my life. No wonder Scotty had taken so quickly to the biker life. Gunn rounded the next curve and we went straight up.

My breath caught as I realized where he was taking me. This was sacred ground. Nobody ever came up here. Everyone knew this was club territory. No Man’s Land. I squeezed my thighs around him as hard as I could, holding on for dear life. And yet, I knew in my heart Gunn would never let me fall. He would never let anything happen to me.

Gunn finally slowed when we reached the plateau. Unpaved, this was still a well-worn path. Gunn pulled off near a small outcropping of rocks. He cut the engine. I tried to throw one leg over the other and dismount, but my thigh muscles felt like wet noodles. Gunn caught me under the elbow and helped me down. I peeled off his helmet and set it on the seat.

“Come on,” he said. “I want to show you something.”

Still gasping for air from the thrill of the ride, I let Gunn take my hand. His was warm and so large my own hand disappeared in it. We walked up a little hill to the edge of the bluff.

I was scared to look down. It was a deadly drop to the churning waters of the Great Wolf River below.

“Green Bluff,” I said past a dry throat.

“Yeah,” he said. “Though it’s more beige if you wanna get technical.”

It took me a beat, but I finally laughed at the joke. It grew instantly easy between us. “Why did you bring me here?”

I recognized it for what it was without Gunn having to tell me. He’d let me in on a mystery. The town was named after this spot. The club was named after the river. But it was understood. You don’t come up here unless someone wearing Gunn’s patch brings you.

“I haven’t been up here for a while, myself. We call it Church when the club meets, but this has always felt more like a sanctuary for me.”

“I get that,” I said. “Gunn ... it’s beautiful. It feels like ... like it’s untouched.”

“It’s where Scotty wanted to be,” he said. Gunn stood beside me, looking down at the water. “It’s where we all want to be. If he’d earned it, I would have spread his ashes down there myself.”

“If he’d earned it?” I took a step back.

Gunn turned to me. Pain filled his eyes and I had the urge to reach for him, to try and brush it away.

“His patch,” he said. “It’s a privilege only patched members get. To be buried up here or have your ashes spread.”

“Oh.” A lump formed in my throat as I took a step closer to the edge. It was beautiful down there. Serene. If I spread my arms, I could almost take flight. Gunn put a light hand on my arm and led me away from the ledge.

“It’s the only thing that mattered to him,” I said. “Getting to wear that patch.” I turned to him, again hating the pain in his eyes. “Don’t say you’re sorry again, okay? I don’t blame you for Scotty. You forget. I knew my brother. Nobody ever forced him to do anything he didn’t want.”

Gunn’s smile warmed me. God. He was so handsome. Rugged and dark. I shouldn’t feel this. I shouldn’t want him. But I did.

“I seem to remember telling you the same thing just a little bit ago. Nobody forces me to do anything I don’t want, Brenna.”

I bit my lip. “I know. And Gunn ... what you did ... it was ... well ... it was the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me. It’s just ... I can’t owe you. And I can’t pay you back. Scotty took care of this. He had a life insurance policy. A good one. For his age, I don’t even know how he got it.”

“The club,” Gunn said.

“Right.” I held a hand up, not wanting him to finish. “The club will provide. You said that to my mother at Scotty’s funeral. And I told you I don’t blame you for what happened, but Scotty died doing club business. I can’t forget that.”

Gunn’s eyes dropped. “Do you know how many times I’ve wished it would have been me? Every day, Brenna. Every fucking day. If I could have traded places with him …”

“Don’t!” I put a hand on his arm. Gunn’s heat seared me and took my breath away. “But don’t you see? That’s why I can’t take this money from you. I’m sorry for what my parents said to you all those years ago, but they’re not wrong about all of it. I don’t want club money. Not like this.”

Anger flashed in Gunn’s eyes. “He’s off the wagon hard. And your mother’s off the wagon as far as staying away from him. It won’t end well, Brenna. If your mother can’t pull herself out of this cycle, I’ll be damned if I’ll stand by and let you get hurt by it. I keep my promises. I’ll protect you with my life if that’s what it takes.”

“I’m not your problem!” I didn’t like the rage coming out of me. Maybe it was this place. All the hurt and grief came bubbling up. Once I started, I didn’t think I could stop. Tears sprang and spilled down my cheeks.

“Brenna …” he came toward me.

“No!” I put my hands up and stepped back. If he touched me again, I wasn’t sure if I could handle it.

“Brenna.” He said it softer. “Let me take care of you. It’s what Scotty would want. It’s what …”

“You left me too!” I said, my throat thick and painful. “Seven years, Gunn. You’ve been here. Around. But you wouldn’t stop by. You didn’t call. You were just ... gone. I lost you both. I’ve been all alone!”

I hadn’t meant to say it. Part of me didn’t realize how deeply I felt it. But it was true. Ever since I could remember, Gunn had been a larger-than-life presence. Then, he was just gone. For so many years, I’d just felt grief and the cold shadow of his absence.

My words hurt him. He took a faltering step backward as if I’d gut punched him. Rage took over. Something rose up inside of me. Something I’d been pushing down for so long I couldn’t control it anymore. I lunged at him. I became a wild thing filled with hate and grief. Gunn was too quick for me though. He caught my wrists and held me away from him.

“You can’t just do this!” I screamed. “You can’t just swoop in and tell me you’re going to take care of me by writing a check. You don’t get to decide this by yourself. You left! You think threatening my father is protecting me? Losing Scotty ripped my life apart. And the only person I could share that with was you. You were the only person who really knew him.”

Gunn’s face contorted with his own grief. He kept his vice grip on my wrists. Finally, he let me go.

“Are you done?” he said. He shocked me by pulling a knife out of his boot. He flipped it and held it by the blade. He took my right hand and pressed his thumb into the palm, forcing it open. Then he smacked the handle into it, making me grip it tight.

“Gunn?”

He let me go and lifted his t-shirt, exposing his chest. I gasped. He was all rippling muscle and tanned skin. Swirling ink adorned him along with the silhouette of a wolf’s head over his heart.

“Take your best shot,” he said. “I deserve it. Because everything you just said is true.”

“Gunn …”

“Do you remember what happened at the fucking cemetery, Brenna? You were there. You were just a kid but you were right there.”

I blinked back more tears. “Gunn ... I’m …”

“She told me to go to hell. Your mother. Except I was already there. She told me to stay away from her and stay away from you and I’ve tried to figure out a way to honor that and honor what I promised your brother. That’s all true, but it’s also a fucking lie.”

“What?” I still held the knife, pointed straight at him the way Gunn had positioned it.

“Yeah. It’s a lie, Brenna. I stayed away because it hurt too damn much. I was a coward. Scotty was my brother too. And I failed him. I failed you both. That look in your eyes. It gutted me. You might as well just finish the job now.”

My fingers trembling, I dropped the knife to the ground. A moment. A heartbeat. I was right back there with him standing over my brother’s freshly dug grave. In a flash, I was here. This was now. Gunn wasn’t that young punk anymore. And I was no little girl.

He stood there with his shirt up, his chest still exposed. I spread my fingers and went to him. The air between us seemed charged with electricity. It spread through me, warming me, making me bold. I pressed my palms flat against Gunn’s chest. Heat raced through me, traveling down, turning my insides molten.

I traced the lines of his ink. Intricate. Bold. I wanted to see how far they went. Gunn’s chiseled pecs twitched beneath my touch. My eyes flicked up to his. His nostrils flared but he was like a marble statue, rooted to the ground. I traced the howling wolf’s head over his heart. It was part of him. It was who he was. I got braver. I pressed my lips to it, kissing just above Gunn’s nipple. His breath caught and he dropped his shirt. Grabbing me by the elbows, he pulled me away from him.

“Brenna …” he said, his voice a choked whisper. It was more than I could say. My own voice left me in a rush.

I wanted him. Desire flashed in his eyes and I could sense the heat coming off him lower down.

I knew then there was some kind of magic on that cliff high above the raging river below us. It enveloped me. Gunn wasn’t some young prospect trying to prove himself anymore. I wasn’t a kid. And my brother was gone.

Gunn crushed his lips to mine. My heart soared and I stepped outside my body for a beat. I felt him everywhere. From my fingertips to the roots of my hair, desire flooded through me as I reached up, sliding my hands around his shoulders. Gunn lifted me off my feet and his kiss brought me closer to the sky.