Brenna

Friday melted into Saturday and Gunn never came back. He sent me a text apologizing up and down, but club business was going to keep him away until later in the evening.

“Do you mind if I catch a ride back to campus?” I asked in one of my responses. I stared at the blinking cursor, holding my breath for his answer.

“I’ll be back by this evening,” he answered. “Can we talk then?”

It wasn’t a straightforward yes or no, but I knew what it meant. Whatever was happening out there, he wanted me to stay here. I didn’t know how to feel about that. It brought back hard memories about things Scotty used to say to me.

Brenn, sometimes I may need you to do some things for me and I won’t be able to tell you why. If I do, you have to promise me you’ll listen. This isn’t older brother shit. It’s important.

Then there were all the other things Scotty used to tell me, and now Gunn did too. The Great Wolves weren’t what people thought. Things weren’t like how they used to be back in the seventies and eighties. The club was legit. Except that hadn’t stopped my brother from getting gunned down in the street when he was my age.

I put on a fresh t-shirt from Gunn’s drawer. Mo had taken the rest of my clothes and washed them for me last night. I found them neatly folded outside the door when I woke up. I heard loud voices and clanging pots. Then the enticing scent of fresh bacon wafted up from the kitchen. I ran my fingers through my hair to try and sort it out, then headed downstairs, not knowing what to expect.

What I found made my jaw drop. Mo MacGillivray was a short, round woman with a shock of orange hair. She waved a wooden spatula and ordered six huge, hulking bikers around the kitchen like a drill sergeant. Switch I’d met the other night. He had thick, black hair and a full beard. She had him on table-setting duty. He carried a stack of plates. I acted on instinct, wanting to make myself useful. I smiled up at Switch and took the top three plates from him.

“Curtis, go make sure Teague and Judd are up. Last I saw they fell asleep in their damn beers,” Mo shouted. Curtis gave her a little salute and headed out the double doors into the main bar.

Charlie Brogan sat in the corner of the kitchen in his own little breakfast nook. They’d put some money into this room. The long wooden table reminded me of one you might see in a medieval castle. It was heavy oak with twenty place settings on each side. Mo flipped pancakes on a griddle with expert precision. Her face turned purple when Dex walked by and caught one mid-flip. She pointed her spatula at him. He leaned down and pecked her on the cheek. Mo tried to keep her face hard, but I saw the twinkle in her eye. It was easy to see how much she loved these men. They were her life.

“Thanks for these,” I said, smoothing my hand down the front of my jeans. “You didn’t have to put yourself out. If you want to point me in the direction of the laundry room, I’d be happy to take over.”

Dex laughed. “Aw, hell, no,” he said. “Only thing Mo lords over more than her kitchen is her laundry room.”

She waved her spatula at him again. “Lucky for you, ya dirty dog. Look at that. Yer trackin’ mud all over my floor. Take your boots off at the door.” She pronounced mud as “mood.” Dex lifted a foot and scowled.

“You sure it’s just mud?” Charlie laughed. “Could be dog shit from the way you smell.”

This earned a chorus of obscenities and ball busting all the way around the room. It was like a raucous family holiday dinner. I realized that was a pretty apt description for what this was. There was an undercurrent of tension. Everyone knew Sly asked the members and friends of the club here for serious business. But even I could feel the excitement running through them all.

“Have a seat next to Charlie,” Mo told me. “He’s least likely to cause you trouble.”

“More like he’s most likely to get his ears boxed if he tries anything,” Dex said. He wolfed down another pancake barehanded and grabbed a cup of coffee.

“You’re lucky Ava didn’t see you do that,” Mo said. “You’re a bad influence on that boy of yours. He eats with his fingers more than a fork, Dex.”

Dex shrugged. He put his back against the swinging doors leading to the main bar. He shot Mo a wink as he shoved his way through them. Most of the other full members took their cues from him and excused themselves from the table. This left me, Mo, and Charlie alone in the huge kitchen. I started clearing the empty plates they left behind, not giving Mo the chance to tell me not to. I realized her opinion of me mattered. A lot.

I rinsed the plates and stacked them in the dishwasher as Scarlett came in from the bar. She was followed close behind by another woman I’d seen with Dex. Ava, Gunn had told me. She was a beautiful blonde with Scandinavian features. Pale skin. High cheekbones and a set of striking blue eyes. She wore purple scrubs and a hospital ID badge. I vaguely remembered Gunn saying she worked in the emergency room as a nurse.

“Glad they haven’t scared you off yet,” she said, offering me a bright smile and a firm handshake. “I’m Ava McLain, Dex’s wife.”

“Right,” I said. “I remember.”

“Have a seat,” Mo ordered. “Now that the dogs are fed, we girls can maybe have some civilized conversation.”

Charlie coughed into his mug. He took the hint and made a show out of scooting from behind the table and heading for the doors. He brushed by Mo on his way and gave her a big, sloppy smooch. She half-heartedly tried to fend him off, but her deep blush gave away her true thoughts.

I swallowed past a lump in my throat. This is what healthy families were supposed to look like. They were supposed to laugh and joke with each other over breakfast. Mothers and fathers were supposed to make their children groan with mild disgust with their PDAs. I never had that. I just remember sitting rod straight in my seat and holding my breath through meals. There would always be a fight. Dinner wasn’t hot enough or cold enough or the right dish. My mother’s smile was never genuine, but forced. Like the rest of us, she lived in constant fear of the next time my father would blow. It could happen at any moment, over nothing. If we were lucky, there’d just be yelling. If we weren’t, there’d be fists.

“Sorry about that,” Mo said as she finally made her own heaping plate of pancakes and sat down. It was just the four of us now at the big long table. Deep laughter and dirty jokes wafted in from the main bar, but it was quiet and calm here in the kitchen.

“I don’t mind,” I said. “It’s kind of wonderful, actually.”

Ava reached across the table and grabbed the syrup. “It is,” she said. “But those boys can be a lot to take all in one place.”

“They’re loud, rude, rough,” Scarlett added.

“But any one of ’em would cut his arm off for ye if ye needed it,” Mo finished.

“I get that,” I said. I felt tears rising. I hadn’t expected this to be so hard. Being here. Seeing what Scotty tried to have.

“You took care of him.” I looked at Mo, blinking rapidly. Her soft smile told me she knew exactly what I meant. Of course she did. Mo was old and wise and I knew immediately she never missed a single trick. She reached over and put her hand over mine.

“He had a mouth on ’im, your brother,” she said. “But such a sweetheart. Of all the boys who’ve come through those doors trying to wear that patch, Scotty was the one I wanted to take home with me most.”

I stabbed my fork into a stack of pancakes. “He probably would have gone. There wasn’t much at his real home for him.”

Mo stared straight through me. I saw a glance pass between Ava and Scarlett. “He talked about you a lot, honey,” Mo said. “All the time, actually. He worried about you and your ma. I suppose it’s out of turn for me to say this, but I don’t mind if I do. He’d be proud of you.”

“Thanks.” I wiped a napkin under my eye. If I started crying now, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop.

“Gunn worries now.” I just kind of blurted it out. I felt those old, familiar walls inside me trying to rise up. But there was something about Mo and these other women that made me feel safer than I had in a really long time. “He worries if Scotty were here ... he’d …”

“He’s not here, lass,” Mo said. “And I know damn well what he’s worried about.”

“Man code,” Ava said.

“Right,” I said. “Little sisters are off limits.”

Scarlett let out a sigh. “Are you worried about that?”

“I was,” I said. “Actually, no. That’s not true. I mean ... I sure didn’t plan any of this. Gunn and me ... I mean. It just kind of happened.”

Again, Ava and Scarlett exchanged a look. “Neither did we,” they said in unison.

“Ain’t that the truth,” Mo chimed in. “We thought Scarlett here would be the death of Sly. Not like she didn’t try hard enough.”

This brought deep laughter from Ava. There was some secret between them I didn’t feel it was my place to ask. Then they grew more serious. Mo set her fork down and turned to me. I had a sneaking feeling this was about to turn into an interrogation.

“I’ve never seen him quite like he is,” Mo said. “Whatever else is going on, Gunn Thompson is smitten, honey. Head over heels.”

I felt the blush creep into my face. I had so many questions and I knew it wasn’t delicate of me to ask them. I also knew it probably wasn’t my business. But the things I’d found in Gunn’s room nagged at me, even though I hated that part of me. I wasn’t a jealous or petty person by nature and Gunn had every right to his life before me.

“I care about him an awful lot too,” I said, not sure I wanted to reveal too much to these women, despite how welcome they made me feel.

“Well,” Ava said, wiping her mouth with her napkin. “You’re sure getting a trial by fire, Brenna. Life’s never dull around the Great Wolves M.C, but I’ve gotta admit, it’s currently a little extra exciting.” Her tone was light, but it was Scarlett who caught my eye. Her expression turned grim.

“Mo’s right. Gunn’s different with you, Brenna. I know it’s not my business ... any of our business ... but Gunn ... we love them all, but he’s pretty special. It’s good to see him so happy.”

I understood the implication. They were happy to see him happy, but they also didn’t want to see him hurt. I didn’t know how to feel about the power they felt that gave me. I didn’t want to hurt Gunn. Not ever.

Mo drove the point home. “You have to decide whether you’re cut out for this life,” she said. “Not every woman is. It’s better now than it was a generation ago. I can attest to that firsthand. But you of all people have also seen firsthand the danger this club can bring. You know that all too well, Brenna.”

“I hear you loud and clear,” I said, feeling those walls slam into place.

“He’ll kill and die for you, if that’s what it takes,” Scarlett said. “But there’s no halfway. Not for any of us.”

I felt the weight of each of their gazes. Their message was clear. If I wanted Gunn, I had to take the club with him and everything that came with it. My heart twisted inside of me. It was no easy answer. Because if I closed my eyes, I was right back there, standing on wet, green grass as they sealed my brother’s coffin and lowered him into the ground.