Thankfully, Ryan warned me about the sudden disappearance of personal connections between wherever we were and home, so I didn't completely freak out when Ben disappeared from my mind. I tried to sit with Ryan for a while after Ben had gone, but the ornately lettered words of the antique books he was studying swam before my eyes, and I ended up finding my way back to my room and falling asleep. I woke only when Meredith brought me another bowl of soup for dinner, and then only long enough to finish it. By the time I woke the next morning, I had slept over sixteen hours and felt like a new man.

I eagerly eyed the tray of food Meredith carried, and tried not to show my disappointment when she set it down in front of me. It was solid food this time. Vegetables. Cheese. Eggs. Bread. Butter. No meat.

"You carnivores," Meredith said, my disappointment apparently not as hidden as I would have liked.

"Are you all vegetarians?"

Meredith nodded. "It is our way."

At least there was cheese, eggs, and butter. If all went as planned, I would be home tonight where meat would be plentiful.

After eight, Meredith's grandmother Suzanne checked on me once more and pronounced me well enough to return home. My shoulder was much looser than it had been yesterday, and my skin didn't feel as tight.

"Within the week, you should find yourself with little to no physical memories of your wounds."

I couldn't help but examine Suzanne's face for signs of her age. I found it difficult to believe that she was anywhere close to hundred years old, let alone older. Suzanne noticed my scrutiny.

“The way you’re looking at me, it’s like you want to eat me for lunch. And not in the good way.”

Caught off guard, I blurted out what I was thinking. "There's no way you're a hundred and forty-seven."

Suzanne’s smile shifted slyly. "A lady never reveals her age." She winked and left me without a definitive answer.

I was surprised that I was gasping for breath by the time we reached the portal. My muscles felt shaky, and I needed to sit down before moving any further.

Meredith sat next to me, legs crossed, the picture of ease and poise, if her frizzy hair hadn't lent her a slightly frazzled air. She reached into the leather satchel she wore on her hip, and pulled out some kind of granola bar.

"Here." She handed me the bar. "You need some sugar. This will help."

I didn't normally go in for health food, but the bar wasn't half bad. "What's in this?"

"The majority of it is nuts, dried cranberries and apples, and honey. But there's also a mixture of herbs meant to boost your energy."

Meredith didn't push me to move, so I sat for a few more minutes after finishing the bar, letting my body absorb its nutrients. My breathing returned to normal and the shaking in my limbs subsided, and I stood, brushing my pants off. Meredith rose gracefully to her feet, took my hand, and pulled me through the portal.

Some cats do not mind water. Tigers even enjoy swimming. I was not one of those cats. I shook myself frantically, the oozy feeling of the portal clinging to my skin though it was dry. I ignored the urge to lick my skin to rid myself of the memory of whatever substance the portal was made of, and strode off, pretending I didn't see Meredith's smirk.

"Kurt?"

I turned with all of the composure I could muster.

"The pack is that way." She pointed to the left, the opposite direction.

I turned around, as if that was what I had always intended to do. Now that the feeling of the portal was receding, I could tell that Ben was in this direction. I wasn't close enough to speak to him yet, but I could feel the faint echo of his excitement.

I stopped and turned to Meredith. "Do you mind if I shift and run ahead?"

"If you can find your way, I have no need to go all the way to the pack. I will just return."

With nothing holding me back, I stripped off my clothes, tying my shirt into a bag and stuffed the rest of them into it before shifting. I nodded my thanks to Meredith, picked up the bag of clothes in my mouth, and ran.

My connection to Ben was clearer now. Everything was sharper when I was in my cat form. Hearing, sight, smell, and the lines connecting me to my pack and my mate—everything was more intense. 

I wondered if Ben had shared the news with Asher and Jesse. I didn't mind either way. In fact, I kind of hoped he had. I didn't like being the center of attention. I didn't want to take away from any celebratory events or attention on Ben if he wanted that, though. I resigned myself to enduring the good-natured ribbing and congratulations of my pack. I could endure anything with Ben at my side.

I pushed myself harder. I felt stronger in my cat form, but I was still tiring more quickly than I was used to. I wanted to be with Ben, though. I wanted to simply be by his side. If I had to rest, I wanted to do so with my head on his lap.

As I burst from the trees, I saw Ben's familiar form running through the field toward me. He slowed as we neared each other, but I didn't stop. I dropped my bag of clothes and pounced, toppling him to the grass, licking his face all over in my happiness. Ben giggled.

"Stop! That tickles! Shift back so I can kiss you properly." 

That was a good incentive. I did as he commanded and took his mouth with mine, savoring his taste and his presence. All thoughts of rest flew out the window. I could feel Ben's erection pressing against my groin, straining against his jeans, and I rubbed my own erect cock over the fabric. My hands dropped to undo his pants.

That is ill advised.

The voice in my head made me jump, throwing myself to the side in a crouch as I snarled at the interloper.

Caspar lumbered out of the woods, slow and intimidating in his size and deliberation. I collapsed back to the ground. Cock block.

You'll be grateful in a few minutes. 

What does that mean?

Caspar ignored my question and continued on to the main house. I collapsed back into the grass as Ben giggled. He crawled over to grab my clothes bag and tossed it at me. 

"Come on, get dressed."

I pulled my clothes on and, on a whim swooped Ben up in my arms and twirled him around, his feet swinging through the air. He leaned his head against my shoulder when I set him down.

"That was almost as good as flying." He sighed. "I miss flying."

"You should take some time, then. Go. I can watch Evan." Sadness and frustration echoed through our bond and I tilted his chin up. "What's up? Why are you upset?"

He pulled his chin down and nestled closer. "I haven't been able to shift since... since the fire. I tried, the first day we... you know. That was half the reason I was so upset. I was trying so hard to remember what it was like to be a hawk, but no matter how clearly I imagined it, my feet stayed firmly on the ground."

"Have you tried since then?"

"Again and again. I feel as though my wings have been bound."

I couldn't bear the despair that was chasing away all the good feelings of just moments ago. "Hey. Don't worry. I'll help you. We'll free your hawk. I promise."

I leaned down to seal the promise with a kiss, but the crunch of gravel drew both our attention. I froze when I recognized the van. It was an old school two-tone brown Chevy van that I would have sworn died years ago. Surely Dad didn't need it now that all us kids were grown? And the man didn't have a sentimental bone in his body. Not one single photo of my mother had existed in the house. The only reason I knew what she looked like was my grandmother did have photos of her up, though we didn't visit her often. Dad wasn't much on seeing people outside the extended family, either, and his in-laws apparently didn't count.

"Shit," I muttered.

Now it was Ben's turn to ask me, "What's wrong? Who is that?"

Even from this distance, I recognized the wide build of my father, his hair whiter than I remembered. I couldn't tell who he'd brought with him. Rob, maybe. Or Gary, if he'd bulked up since I saw him last.

"That would be my family." I started to put up my walls, but Ben tugged on our connection as if to remind me not to lock him out. I hesitated, then let them fall. I didn't need them the way I had when I was a kid. I wasn't the nerdy runt anymore, and I wasn't alone.

"I didn't realize I'd be meeting the in-laws so soon," Ben joked, breaking the cloud of darkness that had started to curl around me.

My laugh was weak. "I hadn't either. But come on. Just... try to stay calm?"

"Are they super racist or speciesist or something?"

"Or something. Come on. You'll see."

Caspar's statement that I'd be grateful echoed in my thoughts. I don't know if grateful was quite the term for it, but it was better to have my time with Ben interrupted by Caspar than my dad, that was for sure.