"He's really okay? And awake?" I had heard the words fall from Asher's lips, but it was hard to believe them. Four days had passed with no news on Kurt's condition. "But I can't—" I snapped my mouth shut. Not that it did me any good. I'd already blabbed enough about my connection to Kurt.

"You can't sense him?" Jesse asked. So much for keeping my mouth shut.

"I can't."

Jesse's brow furrowed. "I wouldn't worry too much about it. Caspar spoke with Elder Talon, who said he's fine."

"When will he— Can I—" My mind was running ahead of my mouth. I wanted to know when he was going to be home. I wanted to know if I could go to him. But if he was far enough away that I couldn't sense him at all, he was surely too far for me to leave Evan for too long. I could take Evan with me, of course, but was that safe? 

"You should go visit him," Jesse said softly, correctly interpreting my interrupted mumbling. "It only takes an hour to get there, though we will need to have one of the artreans guide you in."

I took a few deep breaths. A few hours were fine. Evan would be fine. "Yes, please. How do we contact them?"

Jesse's eyes gazed off into the distance. "I've let Caspar know. He'll inform the artreans."

I pressed my lips together, not sure if I could say what I was thinking, but Jesse was perceptive as always.

"What? What's on your mind?"

"I know... I know he's your friend, but... can we really trust Caspar? He says he can see the future, but he completely missed Wamp finding us and attacking us."

Jesse's face clouded. "I know how troubling that appears... but you have to understand, Caspar doesn't see everything. And what he does see, he sees a multiple versions of things happening. The best he can do is set us on the most likely path to our desired end, even though he's not sure how exactly things will fall out. He's extremely cautious in offering any direction at all, so you have to know that setting fire to Wamp's house was the most likely way for us to achieve our goals."

His words made sense, but I still didn't trust the "seer" completely. 

"I trust him with my life," Jesse said softly, but with conviction. "And what's more, I trust him with Aspen's life."

That was a strong endorsement. It didn't win me over, but it did ease my mind for the time being.

"He said one of the artreans will meet us at the edge of the forest within the hour. We'll head over in about forty minutes, if that works for you?"

I nodded. I was going to see Kurt. I could ensure myself that he was really, truly alive. It was hard to believe it when I couldn't feel him, and the feeling of loss had kept me on edge the past few days. Hopefully once I had seen his face, that feeling would dissipate.

* * *

I was glad it was Meredith who met us. I wasn't in the mood to deal with new people. She met us with a smile, and after some brief chit chat, she led the way into the woods. I had forgotten how tiring being this pregnant was until about twenty minutes into the walk. When Jesse had said it would take about an hour to get there, I had thought we would be using some kind of vehicle, for some reason, not walking. Good thing the only pair of shoes I owned were good for this kind of terrain.

"Don't be afraid to tell me you need to stop and rest or drink," Meredith called over her shoulder. "A stoic man is a stupid man." She stopped without me chiming in, taking the opportunity to slip at the small flask that was always by her side. I would have liked to talk to pass the time, but even while resting, I had run out of the breath needed to speak. After another twenty, maybe thirty minutes, we came to a small clearing and Meredith stopped.

“How much further?” I panted. Surely, we had to be getting close.

“Nearly there. Once we go through the portal, it’s not far.”

Had I heard her right? Had she actually said portal? Maybe I’d misheard and she’d said puerta, though why she’d use Spanish instead of English I didn’t know.

I remained in confusion until she walked to the middle of the field and stroked her finger through the air in front of her. The air rippled in her finger’s wake, and a stone arch appeared, its center filled with an undulating reflective surface. The ripple continued beneath her feet to a spot about ten feet in front of the arch and flowed upward to reveal an empty pedestal, like you would put a statue on.

Meredith marched up to the pedestal and I realized its surface wasn't flat and empty; it was engraved with symbols I was unfamiliar with, and Meredith pressed them in a quick pattern. There was a light pop and a gust of wind blew past us, but when I looked up at the arch, I no longer saw the maples and oaks that should have been behind it, I saw a forest of pine trees.

"What...?"

Meredith took my hand and pulled me through the portal after her. There was a strange, oozy feeling as I followed her, as if a cold waterfall of slime slid over me, and I was jerking, trying to shake it off as we emerged on the other side, but it was completely gone. Before I could think too much about the portal, I felt something zing tight, deep in my bones, and I felt Kurt's surprise. The connection was back! It was faint, but I could tell he was alive; I could feel him.

"It's a bit of a shocker, huh?" Meredith teased, turning down the wide path that lead from the clearing on this side of the portal to... where ever we were going, I supposed. 

"It was weird as fuck."

We walked almost as long as we had on the other side of the portal, and Meredith stopped at a door built into a hill. I could feel Kurt clearly now, and some of the tension seeped out of my limbs, leaving the slight ache of having been too tight for too long.

"We're here."

She opened the door without knocking, and disappeared inside. I had to duck to enter and closed the door behind me. Small green lamps were mounted on the walls of the room I stood in, and stairs led down from there to what looked like a hallway, lined with the same lamps. Meredith was standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me.

The hallways were like a warren, and my hawk felt constricted, confined. I did okay with houses, as long as they had enough windows, but we were underground, and I could feel the weight of the earth pressing down around us, closing me in, confining me. The further we twisted through the tunnels, the more ruffled my feathers got. But at least I could feel Kurt.

All my anxiety disappeared when Meredith opened a door with a smile and I saw Kurt. He was sitting up in bed, his left side wrapped in bandages, but he was awake and alive. I practically flew across the room, but stopped right before throwing myself at him. I didn't want to risk injuring him further. I took his hand instead, and pressed my forehead to it.

"Ben?"

I wanted him to say my name a thousand times in a thousand different ways. I wanted to tell him what I had realized when I thought he had died, that I had thought long and hard about my feelings for him while he'd been recuperating, but in the absence of fear came anger. I clenched his hand and jerked my head up. "What the hell were you thinking?"

Kurt startled as if I'd slapped him, but I barreled on, diving sharply off the edge of one emotion into the next.

"You could have been killed. You could have died. Why did you jump in the way?" I started beating on his good shoulder as I yelled at him, the words becoming harder to get out as my nose stuffed up and my chest heaved with sobs. "Don't... do that... again!"

Kurt reached out and pulled me tightly to him and I collapsed in his shoulder, burying my face into his neck, the comforting cedar scent washing over me each time I took a breath, reminding me he was alive, and safe, and here.

Kurt nuzzled my hair and I jerked back in surprise when his chest started vibrating. Kurt smiled, a rare sight on his face, but before I could enjoy it fully, he pulled me back down, pressing me close. "I'm just purring," he mumbled.

My tears had stopped, and I felt a little embarrassed by my outburst now. But Kurt didn't seem to mind, and the low, vibrating rumble of his chest was surprisingly soothing.

"How come you never did this before?" I asked.

"It would have bothered you," he said simply.

I felt ashamed. He was right. It would have bothered me. I had been too fragile, unable to see what was building between us as it was happening. My neck was starting to ache from this angle, so I pulled away again and nudged Kurt over so that I could slide in next to him. It was a little difficult with my large stomach between us, but I managed. Kurt wrapped his arm around me and I rested my cheek on his chest, marveling at this new sensation.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"For what?"

What wasn't I sorry for? "For yelling at you. For being stupid. For being blind."

Kurt rubbed his hand up and down my arm. "Okay."

I nearly rolled my eyes and couldn't stop the giggle that escaped. "Okay? That's all you have to say?"

"I could argue with you about how you have nothing to apologize for, but you wouldn't believe me. Well, you were a little stupid. I accept your apology for that. But I'm not going to argue with you. It's too tiring. And neither of us would win."

I giggled again. That was probably the most words Kurt had ever strung together in any of our conversations. Okay. It was ridiculous the amount of thought he'd wrapped up in that one word. "I'll stop being stupid if you will," I countered. I looked up to see his response. His eyes squinted in the most cat-like expression of disdain I'd ever seen on a human face.

"I'm never stupid," he growled.

"Oh? Pushing me out of the way and taking the hit yourself wasn't stupid?"

"No. It was calculated. The pain of getting burned was worse than the pain of losing you."

My breath caught in my throat. I nearly dismissed his words as over-the-top romantic bullshit, but Kurt didn't do that. He only said precisely what he meant. I pressed forward and kissed him, and it was as if it was the first time my lips had touched his. In a way, it was. Before, I'd seen him simply as a willing partner in bed, nothing more. Now... I couldn't find the words to describe how much he meant to me. He was everything. His rough lips teased mine in a way that was familiar, but oh-so-new, and I felt the yearning bubbling through his body. How had I not noticed it before?