Putting Evan to bed was a calming routine, even with his arguments to stay up later. They were familiar, with easy answers, even if I had to repeat myself twenty times. But once he was tucked in bed, while I hung out in my room, waiting for him to truly fall asleep, I couldn't beat back the worries that had been burrowing in the back of my mind ever since Caspar had announced that he finally knew where to find Wamp and my son.

Jesse was right. It made no sense for me to go. It was selfish of me to consider it. But Kurt would be going. And I wanted him to. I knew he would make finding Liam a priority. But I was terrified that I would lose a second mate, when I'd only just found him. The fears grew as I dwelt on them. I knew I should head downstairs, be around other people, get some perspective, but I couldn't move. I didn't want to lose my shit in front of the entire pack.

I was careful to put a wall between my emotions and Evan, and it didn't take him long to fall asleep. I curled up in my bed with my arms wrapped around my knees, my chin tucked down. I felt Kurt head up the stairs, a sense of relief and dread swirling through my chest. I didn't want him to think me weak, but I desperately needed his comfort.

He slid in bed next to me without a word, unfolding my limbs and tucking me against his body, my arms curled between our chests, our legs intertwined. My body began to relax as he simply held me.

I won't be stupid. I'm not going to risk my life unnecessarily. This isn't like before. You and Charles had no warning, and you were alone. We're prepared, we're going as a pack, and we're not on the defense.

He addressed my fears directly. I let out a shuddering sigh.

You can't prevent accidents. What if—

If I don't go, he will take more children, and we will never get Liam back. We still don't know what he is planning on using the children for, but it can't be good.

He was right, of course. Everyone was right. I was just being over-emotional, over-anxious, over—

Kurt leaned forward and pressed his forehead to mine. "Stop," he whispered. "You can't live your life in fear. Fear binds you; it keeps you from moving further. It tethers you to the known, even if the known is bad for you. Trust me, I've been there."

His words struck a resonance in my soul. He was right, I had been bound by my fears of what might be. They had covered my eyes so that I couldn't see Kurt and his devotion when he had been right in front of me. They kept me from enjoying the precious milestones of this life growing inside me because I was constantly wondering what dark future lay in wait. My fears grounded me, gave me a false sense of security. 

My fears grounded me...

Those words echoed in my brain, shivering the feathers of my hawk, who had been too long silent. I had been grounded. I had grounded myself. 

"What is it?" Kurt asked. 

I scrambled out of bed, limbs flailing. 

"My fears grounded me!" I shouted, running out of the room and down the stairs. Kurt was steps behind me, not in an attempt to stop me, but to see what I was so excited about. 

"What's going on?" Ryan asked as I hit the first floor, but I didn't have time to answer. I threw the door open and leaped across the porch and down the steps, stripping my clothes as I went. When I stood naked in the yard, I stopped, staring up at the stars. I didn't fly often at night. My eyes weren't made for it, and there weren't as many thermals to boost me up, but flying was flying. 

What's going on, feathers? Kurt stayed a few feet behind me, giving me room to figure out whatever it was I needed to do right now.

I couldn't fly because my fears were grounding me. They have literally been holding me to the ground. I need to let them go.

Let them go. How did I do that? How could I let them just... fall?

If you can't throw them away, give them to me.

Once again, Kurt's words were exactly what I needed. I couldn't just shrug off my fears and not think of them again, but I could let them go for the moment. I visualized bundling up my anxiety and fear into an electric blue bundle, as big as a beach ball, and pushing it across my connection with Kurt. In return, he sent me an image of taking that bundle, pressing it into a tiny golf ball and sticking it into his pocket. 

Momentarily free, I thought of what it felt like to dip and swirl in the air. The feel of the wind whistling over my wings. The sudden stomach dropping elation of a dive. 

My skin began to itch with the prick of my emerging feathers. I was doing it! I was shifting! I let the familiar change wash over me, and once complete, I took one look back at Kurt.

"Go," he whispered.

With a screech, I took off. It felt as though I had unburdened myself of more than just my worries, but of all my responsibilities. For a moment, I wondered what it would be like to remain as a hawk, to simply live off the land, no one to worry about, and no one to worry about me. My connection to Kurt thinned as I gave in to my base instincts. But then I dipped, and I caught sight of him, his eyes brimming with unshed tears of pride. Behind him stood our pack, watching me fly for the first time. I realized that I was connected to all of them now. Not as strongly as Kurt, but the lines of family, of pack were there. And there was my connection to my children, to Evan nearby, to the slack emptiness of my broken connection with Liam, the tightly wound connection to the life within me. 

I circled back to the ground and Kurt held his arm up. I landed lightly on it, cautious of how sharp my talons were, and I nuzzled his head.

You're beautiful, he said. I'm glad you are mine.

I almost didn't come back, I admitted, my worries digging back into my feathers like mites.

I know. I had no doubt you would chose to return, though.

His faith overwhelmed me and I jumped off his arm to shift back into my human form, pressing my body against him in a long, passionate kiss.

"Well, that was a good show," Meredith's voice interrupted. We turned in surprise. Six people accompanied her, including Elder Talon. "Sadly, I don't think that is why you called us here, is it."

"Welcome." Asher stepped forward to greet the artreans. "We need your help. Please, come inside."