Chapter 5
MAX LOCKED HIMSELF UP in his motel room the moment Willow and Derek brought him back to Moonwatch. He heard some whispers about Nick outside. He looked bad, but he was really and truly okay. It put Max in the hard negative as far as points went, though. There were plenty of worried whispers about him being a danger to the pack—which was nothing new exactly. But Nick still hadn’t told him to go, so the pack dealt with him. Max heard all of this in the time it took to hide away in his room, and in that time, he was able to avoid Gwen as well. She had arrived quickly like he figured she would. She took off work and rushed to Nick’s side as soon as she heard the news. He didn’t know what he would be able to do or say to make up for how he tore into her mate. That was why he hid. He hated what happened. He didn’t want to hurt anyone. But his damn wolf was a menace.
Max barely left his room during the week following, and he avoided everyone as well as he could. He had to leave to eat or whatever, but his wolf was a monster whenever he did, biting and clawing to get out and cause another ruckus. He never gave in, though. He wasn’t giving his wolf any leeway. Other than that, he lay in bed. He had never been so depressed in his life. The cross he normally wore around his neck was draped across the nightstand. It stared at him constantly. He didn’t know why he didn’t just throw it out. If God didn’t want him, why should he want God? Because of faith? Hope?
He sighed and rolled over to the other side so he wouldn’t have to see the silver trinket. He was getting much too much sleep, and that made him more tired. So, he closed his eyes. He wasn’t ready to get out of bed. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be ready to again.
Locking himself away didn’t stop him from hearing some disconcerting news floating around Moonwatch, though. He mostly overheard things when he had to leave for sustenance. More recently, he wasn’t the talk of the town anymore. There was new gossip floating around, gossip that was much worse than a single Berserker wolf.
A couple of Trinity Shifters were following the trail of Beatrice, a Black Witch, hired by Erin Smith, a recently deceased shifter collector. It wasn’t surprising that Trinity sent shifters out on a hunt for the Black Witch. Hunting Black Witches was on their to-do list. The surprise was the fact that those shifters went missing for a few days, no contact, nothing, like they had disappeared. Then Trinity found them at the same cabin Erin had kept a bunch of shifters against their will. They had been out cold and still were despite being recovered by Trinity about three days ago. They were lucky they hadn’t frozen to death. Unfortunately, Trinity hadn’t found a way to wake them up from some sort of magic-induced sleep. It was even worse than it sounded because Trinity had some witches on their side as well as shifters of all types, but so few witches were at their disposal they didn’t have any that knew how to help at the moment.
Apparently, witches tended to be dark, malicious and malevolent in spirit, and had many different ways of using their magic, the scariest being the power to manipulate souls. This made them a valuable commodity to people like Erin who had shifter fetishes. There was a big mess in Moonwatch over a month ago with that particular shifter collector. Derek was in some deep crap when Willow first brought him to Moonwatch. That crap meaning Erin Smith. Erin got pretty close to ruining everything, but it all turned out okay in the end somehow, between the pack and Trinity working together. Well, mostly it was Willow and Lunas, but Trinity was an invaluable ally to all shifters as far as Max could tell.
Cedric was one of the shifters they freed from Erin’s enslavement. Max wondered if part of his attitude was because he had been under the control of Black Magic. He seemed fine now thanks to a White Witch named Josh, but maybe there were some residual traces of darkness left behind. Max tried to be understanding, but nothing changed the fact that he and Cedric didn’t get along. Why didn’t the royal owl go home already? What was holding him back?
Enough of that.
Max wanted to forget everything. It was late so at least it was a normal time for people to sleep. However, he had slept so much during the day, he wasn’t exactly tired. His wolf was rattling in his chest tonight. He was behaving himself most of the time while Max was alone in his room sleeping, but right now, his wolf was threatening to rip out of his skin and take control. He felt anxious. It was like he was anticipating something, but he had no idea what that could be.
Max startled when his door burst open. He rolled over to see Derek and Willow standing in his room. Derek’s arms were folded, his muscles bulging. Willow was in the same stance as her mate, but her folded arms pushed up her already well-endowed breasts. Max was pretty sure he had locked the door. Derek revealed a key by dangling it in front of his face. Yep, Max had locked it. Someone gave Derek an extra key. Probably Willow. She was one of Nick’s Betas after all. She had access to that kind of stuff.
“What are you two doing?” Max grumbled as he rolled over onto his stomach, grabbed his pillow, and smashed it over his head.
“Getting your ass out of this damn room. You stink,” Derek informed.
“No, I don’t. I still shower.”
Derek snorted. “Great. You’ll want to make a good first impression.”
Max didn’t like the sound of that. “What are you talking about?”
“A new wolf just came in, and she’s hot. Like, smoking hot.”
“I don’t care about that.”
“She isn’t claimed either.”
“Like I said, I don’t care about that.”
Willow commented, “He’s not like you, Derek.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked. “Every straight male appreciates a woman’s body. I’m only stating a fact.” He lowered his voice. “Not that she’s my type. She’s a stick and kind of mousy.”
Willow let out a soft growl. “For real, Max. Come with us so we don’t have to drag you out. You’ve been in here too fucking long.”
What was so special about this wolf? Nothing. It didn’t matter that she was an unclaimed female. Max just went through heartbreak and he had no interest in finding another girlfriend anytime soon, if ever, at the rate his life was spiraling to Hell. Besides, Awakened Wolves, wolves like Max who were new to the whole wolf thing, often came to Moonwatch. This wasn’t rare. Blue Pack used to think wolves were dying out because they thought wolf shifters weren’t having wolf shifter offspring anymore, but it turned out the Wolf was sleeping. Nick and Gwen were the first Fated Mates Blue Pack had witnessed in some time, and they thought that relationship sparked the Awakening. Moon Magic stuff. Stuff Max didn’t care about.
Maybe he blamed Blue Pack for everything that happened to him since “Awakening.”
It didn’t feel right to hate them, though. Max did his best not to hate anyone. Hate was a poison.
He sat up and grabbed his silver cross from off the nightstand. He draped it around his neck. So, he was angry. That didn’t mean he was ready to give up everything. It didn’t mean he no longer believed in the teachings of his religion. All of it was only meant for good, to better the world. That counted for something, didn’t it? And it was something Max could believe in and strive for. A better world. Staying true.
He frowned when he thought about Lizbeth. It was time to put her behind him. He wouldn’t waste another second thinking about her. He wouldn’t let her hurt him anymore.
Max looked over at Derek and Willow. They were standing quietly, watching him, waiting to see what he would do. Derek’s arm was around Willow, his hand resting loosely on her hip. Even though Derek wasn’t the type to settle, he had found Willow. Willow loved him—even when he called other wolf shifters hot apparently. She knew him. She knew his heart. Max couldn’t call them perfect, but they stuck with each other and worked things out whenever they had a bad day. That was love. Real love.
Max sighed. “Let’s go.”
Derek and Willow grinned at the same time. Derek walked over to Max and held out his hand, Max took it, and he pulled him to his feet. “You’ll feel better, man. Trust me.”
Max’s wolf side seemed to agree with that statement because the rattling in his chest had stopped. His wolf was calm—he was a moody monster.
Willow gave Max a big squeezing hug. She was always openly affectionate like this. That, he was getting used to. He hugged her back, slipped on some boots, and then followed her and her mate out of the motel room. It was dark out, but the Moon and snow combined made it seem brighter, a hazy atmospheric glow. Max had great night vision since his wolf manifested. He could see everything clearly, snow or no snow. He caught sight of movement in the sky. It was Cedric, coasting on his silent snowy owl wings. Max looked away.
He would never understand why Cedric was unfaithful to his family and why he wouldn’t go home. That wasn’t him. Max was loyal to a fault. He didn’t understand cheating. He pushed the angry red thought of Lizbeth away. It was over. Over.
Max held his breath as Willow and Derek led the way to the Alpha Den. Max could see Gwen in the distance. This would be his first time standing in front of her since he tried to kill the Alpha. Nick was there, too. He was still lightly bandaged up, like Max, but he looked a ton better than the last time he had seen him, bleeding out and weak. Max flinched. He was a coward for not confronting them sooner, and they had allowed him to be. They let him stay and wallow in his sorrow. They hadn’t chased him out of town. He really needed to shape up and fast.
Other than Gwen and Nick, Max saw Julie, the pack’s history keeper, and the back of a woman he didn’t recognize. She had to be the wolf shifter Derek was talking about. They were all talking in quiet tones, but he wasn’t paying attention to that. His eyes were glued to the woman. She had a hat covering her head. He couldn’t see her hair, so it must have been short. She was hugging herself and shivering slightly in the cold. Her coat looked like it was swallowing her whole. She was very petite. His wolf started acting up in his chest again or maybe it wasn’t his wolf. His heart skipped a beat. He cleared his throat in an attempt to ignore the sensation, but he suddenly wanted a better look at the woman. He wanted to see her face. This time he knew the sensation in his chest was his wolf reacting, but it wasn’t aggressive. He felt… eager?
He took a shallow sniff of the air. The woman’s smell was like vanilla. Her scent wasn’t any stronger than anyone else’s around him, but it was the only scent he could focus on, the only one he noticed. He shook his head. What the hell?
Derek jumped right into the conversation the others were having. His target was the woman. “Hey, new girl!” He leaned over slightly so he was face to face with her. His eyes shone a bright green, his blatant curiosity easy for all to see. His wolf was close to the surface. Maybe Max wasn’t the only one feeling this odd sensation then. There was something unique about this woman, something unlike any other shifter he had met—definitely unlike any wolf he had met. It felt… powerful.
Max could smell the woman’s unease. She turned away from Derek and ended up facing Max. Her eyes were almost black, a beautiful deep shade of brown like the richest soils of the earth. Her skin was brown with a gold tint, the warmth clear even in the cool Moonlight. Right now, the Moon’s light really did seem like something sacred. Max had slowly accepted the Moon’s standing as some sort of power and maybe a god of some sort, but now he had no doubt. The Moon, his wolf, this woman, all of it combined made him feel complete, light. He never knew how empty his whole life had been until this moment.
His wolf started freaking out.
Max clenched his hands into fists at his sides. His gums burned as sharp teeth fought to rip through his mouth. At the same time, an annoying itch came from his right inner thigh like some poisonous insect had given him a nasty bite—though no insects should be alive when it was this cold out. He couldn’t see himself, but he was sure his eyes were flashing from their natural sky blue to the orange flickering eyes of his wolf.
Mine.
The word ripped through his head as his skin burned with the force of his wolf. This could not be happening. He knew about Fated Mates, souls preordained by the Moon. Nick and Gwen. Casey and Karol. Derek and Willow. He heard stories about it, what it felt like. He saw Derek and Willow fall for each other with his own two eyes. As soon as you lay eyes on your Fated Mate, you’ll know.
Mine.
His gums hurt because his wolf was telling him to claim her. No. No, no, no, no. He was so not ready for this. This whole reaction was so far from human. He was depressed out of his mind five seconds ago and now he wanted to jump this woman, to claim her with his animal’s teeth, to make sure she stayed with him. It wasn’t like him, and he didn’t welcome it.
The woman’s eyes grew wider. At first, he thought she might be afraid, but that wasn’t what he sensed from her. He smelled arousal. Need. Her pupils were dilated. Then he smelled the fear. Of course. She was probably more confused by this than he was since she had likely been on her own since her wolf manifested. That was why she was here after all.
“Cool it, Romeo,” Derek barked. His eyes were still bright green and his hackles were raised. “Stop fucking growling.”
Max hadn’t realized he was growling. The sound intensified as his wolf fought back against Derek.
“Enough,” Nick commanded.
Max listened. His wolf agreed to behave, but he sat just under his skin, waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
Mine.
The woman looked away from Max and down to her hands. She wasn’t wearing gloves and was fiddling with her fingers. Max’s heart lurched when he saw the scabs on each of her fingertips. His wolf whimpered in his throat, another sound he wasn’t able to muffle. Nick gave Max a lingering look, but he didn’t speak to him. He gave an introduction instead.
“Ava, you already met everyone else,” he said. “This is Max. Max, this is Ava.”
If Max had any sense left, he wouldn’t have closed the small distance between him and the tantalizing woman, but he didn’t and he did. He held out his hand for her to shake. At least his wolf didn’t push for him kissing her senseless—though that was the only thing on his mind as he tried not to stare at her perfect brownish-red lips. This was okay, shaking hands. This was how you were supposed to greet other people. He needed to make her comfortable. His wolf seemed to be able to agree with that sentiment. So as long as it was for Ava’s well-being, his wolf would cooperate. Kind of. There was an alternative motive to this gesture.
Ava. My Ava. Why are you hurting?
He waited for her to take his hand. She cleared her throat nervously and held up a quaking hand. He took that hand quickly rather than making her tremble with indecision. His touch was careful and light. He didn’t want to hurt her sore fingers. Oh, God, but that skin to skin contact nearly did him in. His breath hitched. Her dilated eyes looked up at his. He felt another growl in his throat, but he kept it quiet. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to keep her from getting hurt. Seeing her fingers like this was unacceptable.
“I heard Blue Pack can help new wolves,” she squeaked. Then she steadied her voice, the tone light and airy. “Awakened Wolves? I can’t control my wolf very well.”
Max let go of her hand when he realized he had been holding it for way too long—and everyone was staring at them. Ava must have noticed at the same time because she held her hands out in front of her, plastered to her legs, and looked away from him with a slight blush on her cheeks.
“You and Max are perfectly matched then,” Derek said, breaking the awkward silence. “He’s shit at controlling his wolf, too.”
Max could feel his lips curling up to snarl, but he stopped the aggressive response before it could surface. He was getting so many odd looks from everyone, but at least he wasn’t going Berserker. He and his wolf were on the same wavelength. They had the same priority: make Ava comfortable.
“We’ll teach you about the Wolf,” Nick said. “Control is more about accepting and getting along with your wolf than anything, though. You’ll get there.”
It hadn’t gotten anywhere for Max until this moment. This was what it meant to be truly in sync with his wolf, to be one in the same—for the moment anyway.
“You’ve been doing a great job with Max so far,” Derek said with a roll of his eyes.
“Willow,” Nick growled, “take your mate away before I lose my patience.”
“You know you love me!” Derek called as Willow grabbed his arm and dragged him in the direction of their house.
Nick closed his eyes for a second as if to gather his thoughts. When he opened them again, they flashed a bright yellow. It wasn’t just Max after all. Something about Ava had everyone a little riled up. Max was the only one having this fit of attraction. The others had their wolves ready to pounce at any moment. It was especially odd since Ava had no reaction to it whatsoever. Her wolf was quiet inside of her. Max could barely sense her deep in the recesses of her soul, but her presence still said wolf… He thought. It was hard to explain the disconnect he was feeling. Her eyes looked nothing more than human, no trace of the animal to be seen.
“We’ll get you set up with a place to stay. Food, shelter, we’ll provide it all while you’re staying here,” Nick informed. “You’ll have lessons with other Awakened Wolves in the morning when our wolves are quieter, easier to handle.”
“Th-thank you,” Ava said with a slight bow of her head. She was trying to act submissive. That much was obvious with the fear tainting her previously pure vanilla scent.
“Our motels are full right now,” Gwen said. “We’ve been expanding continuously but we can’t keep up. You’ll need to stay in the Alpha Den in one of our guest rooms or you might be able to bunk with another Awakened Wolf in one of the motels. Most of the rooms have two beds and one might be available.”
Ava put her hands up and her eyes went wide again with worry. “I don’t want to be any trouble.”
Gwen opened her mouth, but Max cut her off. “She can stay with me.”
Oh, crap. Did he really just say that?
All eyes turned to him. He swallowed and scrambled to save himself. The wolf side of him was pleased, but the human side of him felt this was extremely inappropriate. How the two sides of himself weren’t fighting right now over the difference in opinions and feelings was a miracle. His wolf let him scramble.
“Uh, I just meant I have an extra bed in my room. It’s big enough for two people, but it would be better if one of the guys wanted to bunk up with me and give up his room for Ava.” His face was on fire. He had never been more embarrassed in his life. He sounded as horny and insensitive as Derek. Damn, but he was horny right now. He was hard. He had never reacted to anyone like this. Ava was killing him, wreaking havoc on his body, mind, and soul.
Okay. It was fine. He saved himself. No one would take him up on his ridiculous offer.
“It’s up to Ava,” Gwen said in an even tone.
Max’s mouth dropped open. She wasn’t dismissing what he said about Ava staying with him? What was Gwen thinking? Max gave her a sideways glance, unable to look the Alpha’s mate in the eye. He shredded her mate. Why couldn’t he smell any anger on her? Then again, she was avoiding eye contact with him. She wasn’t over what he did, but that cool head of hers always kept her emotions from getting in the way. What was she planning?
Ava pulled her sweater sleeves from her coat sleeves and started fidgeting with the crocheted seems. She was coming dangerously close to worrying over her fingers the same way. Max wanted to stop her before she could aggravate her wounds any more.
“I don’t want to be any trouble,” Ava reminded. She looked up at Max with… hope in her eyes? “If you want me to stay with you, that means I won’t be any trouble, right? I’ll stay with Max.” As soon as she said the words, her eyes went wide again. She put her hands to her mouth like she couldn’t believe what she had said. Max sure couldn’t.
“I-is that okay?” she asked.
“Of course. I offered, didn’t I?” he replied. Shit. Now he was saying things he shouldn’t be saying. Someone or something had possessed their tongues. The Moon? God, and Max’s right inner thigh was itching like crazy.
My mate. Fated Mate.
“Hmmm,” Gwen hummed as she looked between the two of them. She was studying Max now, and her lips were quirked up into an almost smile. “It’s decided then. Ava, I’ll take you to your motel room. Max will come in a moment.” She took Nick’s face gently in her hands. Her touch was barely a touch. Nick leaned down to meet her lips with a quick goodbye-for-now kiss. Max looked away. Gwen was handling her mate with care because of the near-fatal wounds Max had given him. The devotion she had for him, the love, was powerful.
“Max,” Gwen said his name soothingly.
“Yes?” he answered uneasily.
“I’m not mad.” She pursed her lips. “But I expect more. I know you can do better.”
Max ducked his head, submissive and apologetic. Even his wolf seemed sorry. See how much better you are united instead of divided? He wasn’t united with his wolf, but this was as close as he had ever been. Maybe something big changed. Maybe he’d eventually be able to, “Play nice with his wolf.”
Well, he wasn’t finding out tonight. He wasn’t shifting.
His wolf didn’t fuss. His wolf was content as long as he had Ava. He could feel it. This change was all her doing. And probably the Moon’s.
“I’ll do better,” Max told Gwen. His words were resolved, bold. He would do better, starting now. The doubts he always felt weren’t making him doubt himself for once—wolf included.
“Good.” Gwen nodded her head in approval. She placed a friendly hand on Ava’s back and guided her to the motels. Max didn’t miss Ava looking over her shoulder at him, though. It made his heart flutter.
Nick grabbed Max’s arm, startling him. He pulled Max close and whispered in his ear, “What are you doing?”
“I have no idea,” Max replied honestly.
“Do you really think Ava is going to be safe with you when your wolf is so damn out of control?”
Max flinched. “I don’t know! If you’re worried, why didn’t you stop Gwen from okaying it?”
“Because your wolf isn’t wild right now.” Nick let him go, took a few steps back, and stood still, studying Max. “It’s a fucking miracle, and it’s because of Ava.”
“But it can’t be.” Max’s wolf growled in his throat. Fated Mate.
“Better not to fight it, right?” Nick commented. “You’ve been punishing yourself, Max. Stop. I’m okay. Anyone you’ve ever hurt is okay because you don’t really want to hurt anyone. Listen to your wolf like you were listening when Ava was standing right here. Hell, consider the possibility that she’s the one for you.”
The way Nick said that last part told Max that Nick had absolutely no doubts about Ava being “the one for him.”
“You think she’s my Fated Mate,” Max muttered.
“What does your wolf think?”
Max huffed.
“Everyone could sense the sparks flying between you two,” Nick said matter-of-factly. “I wasn’t sure about her at first, but now I’m determined to make her stay here. She got through to you without trying.”
“What do you mean you weren’t sure about her?”
“She smells… different. Feels different.” Nick shook his head. “It’s probably nothing.”
But Max knew exactly what he was talking about—not that he cared. Ava was perfect.
Nick sighed. “I just need you to tell me you won’t hurt her.”
“I won’t hurt Ava.” Max said it easily because it was true. His human and wolf sides agreed wholeheartedly.
After studying Max’s eyes for a moment, Nick nodded his head. “Good. Pretty weird that things ended with Lizbeth the way they did and when they did.”
Max frowned. Willow must have told him all about what happened. “I’m not… I don’t want to jump to conclusions about Ava being my Fated Mate. It feels wrong. Having a mate feels wrong. Thinking about romance at all after what happened and so soon…”
“You’re not human anymore, Max. You never were. Stop trying to be something you aren’t.”
Max bit his bottom lip so hard he made it bleed. He could already feel his body healing the tiny wound, but it didn’t make him feel any better.
Nick patted Max’s shoulder. “Go on. You invited her. She chose this. Don’t keep her waiting. Also, check in with me every now and then. I’ll do the same with you.”
“Right.” Max swallowed hard. “Thanks, Nick. I know I’ve been a pain in the butt. I’ll do better. I swear it.”
“I know you will.” Nick looked in the direction of the motels. “The biggest piece of advice I can give you is not to fight it. The rest is up to you, man. It’s always been up to you. I’m Alpha of Blue Pack, but I can only do so much.”
Max nodded. So, his potential Fated Mate was waiting for him in his motel room. This couldn’t be any worse.
His wolf disagreed. Couldn’t be any better.