Chapter 8
MAX WALKED AVA TO the Alpha Den, the largest and most spectacular building in all of Moonwatch. To Ava, it made sense. It was the home of Blue Pack’s Alpha. Being Alpha of a wolf shifter pack was like being a king. And there was another reason for the extravagance. The building was meant to stick out so the Alpha was easy to find.
Ava tensed when she saw the Alpha, his mate, and some other wolves she had yet to meet gathered around him. Ava glanced at Max. She had been resisting the urge to hold his hand, but no more. She snatched his hand away and held on tight. She needed to feel his warmth. He said he wasn’t going to be a part of the class. She would have to part with him now. He had given her the best morning of her life. He made her forget about why she was here. She desperately wanted to hold on to that for a while longer.
“Everything’s fine,” Max told her as he gently squeezed her hand. He didn’t act surprised that she grabbed his so suddenly.
“Do you have to go?” she asked.
“Yeah, I have to go, but you’ll be fine. Great even.” He scratched the back of his head with his free hand and tilted his gaze away from her. “And I’ll see you later.”
Ava looked at the wolves gathered together. She imagined them all as lifeless puppets, property to be sold off to the highest bidder. She looked back at Max and tried to imagine the same thing. A sick feeling settled into the base of her stomach. How many of them would she hurt before the White Wolf claimed her life? She wished he would come and get it over with already.
For the first time in her life, she wanted to rebel. She didn’t want to hurt these shifters like Beatrice told her to. She wouldn’t be able to keep the distance she had learned through the years. The screaming would get to her. It would hurt her. It would kill her before the White Wolf came to take her away.
Reluctantly, Ava let go of Max’s hand. “I’ll see you later.”
He nodded his head in confirmation, gave her a little nudge with his hand on her back and turned to walk away. He held up his hand in a slight wave and then shoved his hands into his pockets. She watched him, unable to tear her eyes away. Her mouth formed the words, “Come back,” but they were given no voice.
“Ava!”
Slowly, Ava turned to face the other wolves. Gwen was waving her down with a soft smile on her face. Ava took a deep breath to steady her nerves, and then she walked up to Gwen. Her legs felt stiff like her joints were frozen.
“Good morning,” Gwen said. Her voice was as warm as it was last night. It was the same kind of warmth Ava heard when mothers talked to their children, but she had never had a mother, or mother-to-be, talk to her in the same way. It terrified her, and at the same time, she savored it.
“Good morning.” Ava gave a little nod of her head and glanced at the Alpha. He nodded back. “Max told me I shouldn’t shift today.” She held up her hands for emphasis. It was great she had an excuse not to shift because it was the last thing she wanted to do. It was harder to control the crazed wolf when she was the one on the inside.
“That’s fine,” Nick said. “I’m not shifting either.” He pointed to a wound on his neck that had come a long way in healing, but it still had jagged marks and tears. It was still an angry red. It reminded her of the mark she saw on Max’s neck, but Nick’s looked much worse.
“Hey, so everyone’s here,” the Alpha called. Any chit-chat died out as if on command. “We’re starting with a verbal lesson today because it’s important to understand all this stuff before jumping right into shifting.”
Ava was doing her best to at least pretend to pay attention to the Alpha by watching him, but her eye caught sight of a snowy owl circling above them in the sky. He looked elegant flying through the softly falling snowflakes, like he belonged there. She squinted to get a better look. Something about that owl was strangely familiar. When he landed on the roof of the mansion, she got a better look at him, but she still couldn’t place that feeling of familiarity. He stayed perched on the roof, studying all of them, her included, with eyes like gold plates. Ava forced her attention back to Nick.
“A few months ago, I was a damn ignorant Alpha,” Nick said with a huff. “My mate set me straight, though.” He wrapped his arm around Gwen. “Blue Pack used to be closed off from everyone else, and Gwen opened my mind to the possibility of there being more.” He chuckled. “And there’s a lot more out there than I ever dreamed. Even concerning wolves. I’m going to teach you everything I know about being a wolf, but there’s more out there than I can teach you. I’m still learning too, thanks to Trinity. Trinity is the largest group of shifters I know, an alliance of all types of shifters. They’re good people. They helped my pack about a month ago without expecting anything in return. They’re open to answering any questions and happy to serve. If you think Blue Pack isn’t suited to helping you, I can recommend you to Trinity. Got it?”
Everyone seemed to bob their heads up and down in unison.
“All right then.” Nick cleared his throat. “Since I was a pup, I was taught to respect the Moon because it chose me, my people, all of you. We are what we are because of the Moon. While that’s true, I had no idea the Moon had more than the Wolf under its care.” Nick looked right at the snowy owl perched on his home. “Cedric is a Moon Shifter, too.”
Whispers broke out and Ava’s skin went clammy against the cold. Cedric. Cedric Snow? The guy who went missing when he was supposed to inherit his family’s fortune by taking over the Crystal Caverns, ridiculously fancy and overpriced hotels located throughout the United States. Ava shuddered. It was him. That was why she recognized the owl. She was the one who captured his soul. She was fairly confident he didn’t and wouldn’t recognize her. Taming a shifter, breaking their spirit and reassigning their free will was a traumatic experience. So traumatic, his memories of her might not be intact. She had never prayed to any god, but right now she was praying to the Moon that Cedric wouldn’t out her. She wanted a little more time with Max. Just a little more. Then she would accept the White Wolf.
“All shifters are under one of the Celestial Trinity. The Moon, Earth, or Sun,” Nick continued. “Aside from giving us the power to shift, their magic is unique. The Moon’s power is called Lunas. The Earth’s is called Terros. The Sun’s is called Solsis. We’re gonna focus on the Moon today since it’s the deity I know the best and the one most applicable to us since we’re all Moon Shifters.
“Lunas gives us the power to shift. Each one of us uses the Moon’s power every time we do. Some Moon Shifters have been able to access Lunas beyond the power to shift, though. According to my pack’s history, using Lunas at will used to be very common, especially in claiming mates. Through the Moon, we can make binding contracts sealed by Lunas. These contracts always leave a mark in the form of a Lunas Sigil or Moon Mark on the skin of those the contract involves. Gwen and I accessed Lunas in this form when we first met. She wanted to save my life, and I bit her to seal the deal, marking both of our hands with a Moon Mark.” He grinned as he and Gwen held up their hands to show the mirrored marks on the back of Nick’s left hand and on the back of Gwen’s right.
“Hell, but neither of us knew what we were doing at the time. It was all instinct, the Moon guiding us. The Lunas Sigil allowed Gwen to save me by transferring some of her life force into me through the Moon. So, this first contract we made was meant to save my life—which it did—but Lunas can be used for a number of contracts. The one Gwen and I have now binds us as mates first, a forever promise. Accessing Lunas was something that happened by chance for us, but there are shifters alive today, in Trinity, who know how to access it at will.”
Gwen smiled at her mate and snuggled into his side. “Nick wants to learn how to do that, but for now, he just has to be patient and wait for the Moon to guide him into using its power.”
Nick shrugged. “Hey, I’ll get it eventually. One step at a time.”
While the Alpha took a moment to answer some questions, Ava’s attention shifted to her left inner thigh. It was burning again. She had a mark like the shiny moons reflected on Nick and Gwen’s hands. Ava had a Moon Mark too, but it wasn’t a beautiful thing like Nick had described. Hers was a malicious mark, a curse given to her by the Moon. Why had the Moon decided to curse her though? Did it know Ava would come to strip the Wolf from one of its shifters and disguise herself with it and infiltrate a pack? She always dreamed of the White Wolf. Now things were fully manifesting, coming full circle.
“I knew there was something special about Gwen when I first met her,” Nick continued. “I knew she was my Fated Mate even though I couldn’t put it to words at the time.” He held his mate tighter, possessive. “Fated Mates are a little tricky. I’m not gonna lie to you and tell you each of you has one. When I was a pup, I used to think everyone was supposed to, but after seeing what I’ve seen and after talking to Trinity, it turns out Fated Mates are rare pairs picked by the Moon. It’s not something I can prepare you for, but if you feel a strong pull to someone, I’d advise you not to ignore it.”
“So, you’re basically saying our fate could be rigged by the Moon?” One Awakened Wolf asked with his arms folded, clearly not thrilled with the idea.
“You won’t feel that way when you find your Fated Mated,” Nick replied. “Gwen completes me. The Moon knew I needed her. Isabelle, the Trinity Shifter I talked to about this, says not all of us need a Fated Mate. It doesn’t mean you won’t find happiness or the perfect mate for you. It also doesn’t mean that mate you picked won’t ever have a Lunas Sigil shared between the two of you. Anything is possible. The Moon takes care of us.”
Fated Mates. Ava wished more than anything at that moment that she could have been born a wolf shifter. If that were the case, maybe her mark could have meant she was Max’s Fated Mate. Warm Max. Kind Max. But no. She was a danger to the Moon’s children, and that was why she was cursed. She was powerful, but she could not combat the strength of a god. She knew that since the first time she saw the White Wolf and he bit into her thigh.
“So yeah. Welcome to the supernatural,” Nick said as he held out his hands to indicate the world around them, the world the Awakened Wolves must have seen very differently now. “Not everything is sunshine and rainbows, though. There are a lot of dangers you’ll need to watch out for like witches.”
Ava flinched.
“Shifter collectors, too. The name is pretty self-explanatory. You’re valuable because of what you are. Some people want to own you and take advantage of you. Luckily, most of the world doesn’t know we exist. Humans are likely to be afraid of you, so I wouldn’t go around telling everyone you’re a wolf. Trinity wants to make the world a place where shifters can walk freely as what they are among humans instead of hiding like we do. I hope they succeed someday, but right now the world is what it is. Be smart. Even be careful of other shifters. Only a few months ago, my pack wasn’t so friendly.”
Nick’s normally hazel eyes blazed gold. “This next part is especially important. There’s been some trouble recently. A big and powerful grizzly bear shifter I met from Trinity and a black panther shifter are both currently in comas because they had a run in with a Black Witch. Black Witches can steal your free will and make you do anything they want. They are stronger than you.”
Unease wafted through the air as the Awakened Wolves around Ava all cast their gazes to the snow.
“But you’re all safe here,” Gwen assured. “And it’s time to test out this shifting thing. Let’s get you guys and gals comfortable with your wolves. Howard.” Gwen turned to an older wolf who was standing just outside of the group. “Howard is one of Nick’s Betas, second in command. He’ll be teaching you about shifting today. You don’t want to shift when you're cut up like my mate because it’ll take longer to heal. I can’t teach you because I can’t shift either.” She indicated her small and rounded belly. “Pregnant.”
Ava shook in her boots. Nick remembered that she wasn’t supposed to shift, right? She really didn’t want to. Her stolen wolf would go nuts. Nick probably sensed her fear, because he signaled her over and Gwen held out her hand. Ava joined them at Gwen’s side as Howard gathered the Awakened Wolves.
“It’s important to acknowledge the Wolf,” Howard said, taking over. “Even if you can’t shift, you should accept and take pride in what you are. Accept the Moon so you don’t go Berserker.”
“What does that mean?” an Awakened Wolf asked.
Nick replied, “It means you reject what you are and the Moon curses you for it. The Moon gave you a gift, the least you can do is be grateful for it. If you go Berserker, you’ll lose all your senses and become rabid. A mindless wild animal. You’d be a danger to shifters, but you’d be an even bigger danger to humans. Any Berserker to ever come from Blue Pack has been put down, but Trinity says there have been others that have made their way to humans and turned them. Berserker bites are poisonous. They pass on the Berserker sickness in the form of their own rabid animal, but since shifters already have an animal, a Berserker bite just hurts like hell for us.” Nick gently rubbed his sore neck.
“But that won’t happen to any of you,” Gwen said firmly.
Cedric, the snowy owl still perched on the Alpha Den’s roof, let out a soft twittering laugh along with a clacking noise as he closed his big golden eyes. Apparently, he thought Gwen’s statement was hilarious.
Nick glared up at the owl, his eyes bright yellow and sinister. He muttered, “Fuck off.” It was enough to get Cedric to stop laughing. He even took to the overcast sky on silent wings and glided down into the forest, leaving the wolves alone.
Cedric truly didn’t recognize Ava. He would have said something if he did. Beatrice ran a smooth operation. Ava wondered if Beatrice knew a restored shifter wouldn’t remember those few minutes they saw Ava as she stole their souls at Beatrice’s command. She probably did. Beatrice was careful about everything. She must have calculated the chance of one of their broken shifters regaining their senses because Trinity hardly knew anything about them. They didn’t know for a fact that she and Ava were the ones who put their grizzly and black panther in comas. All they could figure was it happened because of a Black Witch. They weren’t wrong, but they were in the dark about the details.
“Let’s get started,” Howard announced. He stripped his clothes quickly, exposing his naked skin to the cold. Ava watched unashamed. She had never seen a man naked before, but it elicited no reaction from her. She had never had any interest in men until Max. She noticed every inch of him and saw him in fine detail. Everyone else was a blur in her vision in comparison. Some Awakened Wolves averted their gaze in embarrassment at the display of nudity, mostly the females.
“Yeah, nudity is a part of the gig. Get over it,” Nick teased. “It’s not weird.”
“Maybe not for you, Mr. I-grew-up-as-a-wolf,” Gwen teased him right back.
Nick chuckled and kissed the top of her head.
Ava’s mind wandered. She watched the Awakened Wolves but her eyes were unseeing. She was picturing Max, wondering what he hid underneath his clothes. She saw his large and powerful arms because he wore a t-shirt to bed. His muscles amazed her because her own arms were comparable to twigs, skinny and clearly lacking in the muscle department. She remembered the way the t-shirt hugged his torso. She saw his nipples for an instant as they pressed against the fabric, the outline of his pecs, the ridges of his eight pack. Her face flushed with warmth. She wanted to see more. Touch more.
Focus.
She worried that someone nearby would have caught on to her daydreaming, but no one made any indication that they had. She stared at Howard as he finished explaining shifting to the other wolves. His body suddenly snapped and changed shape as brown fur exploded all over him. He wasn’t the White Wolf. She watched each of the Awakened Wolves as they did their best to follow suit. Some of them struggled, others shifted seamlessly. None of them wore a coat as white as snow. Ava released a shaky breath of relief.
Now she had a decision to make. She didn’t want to carry out Beatrice’s order, but if she refused, that would be a betrayal of the person who kept her alive all these years. If she did as Beatrice wanted, that would include enslaving Max. He would be the first target. He was the closest to her. They were staying in the same room.
She tried again to imagine Max mindless. He wouldn’t be able to talk to her freely anymore, to say what was on his mind. He wouldn’t be sweet. He wouldn’t feed her or worry about her damaged fingertips. He wouldn’t look at her with striking blue eyes that revealed his every emotion. He wouldn’t have emotion.
Max.
The wolf inside of Ava kept biting at the cage holding her there, reminding Ava of what she had done, of the most brutal thing she had done yet. She didn’t deserve Max. She didn’t deserve anyone. It was true. That was why people spat on her when she was a child all alone on the streets.
Ava squeezed her eyes shut.
Max thought she deserved his kindness.
She missed him. She wondered how bad his control over his wolf was since it warranted private lessons. He didn’t seem wild or out of control when she spent time with him last night and this morning. He was the exact opposite.
Ava’s thigh itched again, but she refused to give into the urge to dig. She looked out to Blue Forest in the distance. It was the real-life version of the blue forest in her dreams. The White Wolf was in there somewhere, but still, he did not show himself. She didn’t even dream of him last night.
Something wasn’t adding up, and the wolf in her middle was fighting worse than usual. She could feel her chipping away at the walls of her cage. Ava had held many souls, but she was having trouble holding this broken piece of a shifter. Maybe she wasn’t as strong as she thought.